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Children With Hyacinth's Temperament Don't Know Better As They Grow Older; They Merely Know More.

-Hector Hugh Munro

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Children With Hyacinth's Temperament

Hector Hugh Munro

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Children With Hyacinth's Temperament Don't Know Better As They Grow Older; They Merely Know More.

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The Censorious Said She Slept In A Hammock And Understood Yeats's Poems, But Her Family Denied Both Stories.

In Baiting A Mousetrap With Cheese, Always Leave Room For The Mouse.

The Young Have Aspirations That Never Come To Pass, The Old Have Reminiscences Of What Never Happened.

It Is An Admitted Fact That The Ordinary Tomtit Of Commerce Has A Sounder Aesthetic Taste Than The Average Female Relative In The Country.

Great Socialist Statesmen Aren't Made, They're Still-born.

He's Simply Got The Instinct For Being Unhappy Highly Developed.

Find Yourself A Cup; The Teapot Is Behind You. Now Tell Me About Hundreds Of Things.

Finding Yourself

On Horseback He Seemed To Require As Many Hands As A Hindu God, At Least Four For Clutching The Reins, And Two More For Patting The Horse Soothingly On The Neck.

People May Say What They Like About The Decay Of Christianity The Religious System That Produced Green Chartreuse Can Never Really Die.

Monogamy Is The Western Custom Of One Wife And Hardly Any Mistresses.

Poverty Keeps Together More Homes Than It Breaks Up.

Addresses Are Given To Us To Conceal Our Whereabouts.

Her Frocks Are Built In Paris, But She Wears Them With A Strong English Accent.

I Think Oysters Are More Beautiful Than Any Religion,' He Resumed Presently. 'they Not Only Forgive Our Unkindness To Them; They Justify It, They Incite Us To Go On Being Perfectly Horrid To Them. Once They Arrive At The Supper-table They Seem To Enter Thoroughly Into The Spirit Of The Thing. There's Nothing In Christianity Or Buddhism That Quite Matches The Sympathetic Unselfishness Of An Oyster.

No One Can Be An Unbeliever Nowadays. The Christian Apologists Have Left One Nothing To Disbelieve.

It's No Use Growing Older If You Only Learn New Ways Of Misbehaving Yourself.

His Socks Compelled One's Attention Without Losing One's Respect.

He Is One Of Those People Who Would Be Enormously Improved By Death.

He Spends His Life Explaining From His Pulpit That The Glory Of Christianity Consists In The Fact That Though It Is Not True It Has Been Found Necessary To Invent It.

There May Have Been Disillusionments In The Lives Of The Medieval Saints, But They Would Scarcely Have Been Better Pleased If They Could Have Foreseen That Their Names Would Be Associated Nowadays Chiefly With Racehorses And The Cheaper Clarets.

Whenever A Massacre Of Armenians Is Reported From Asia Minor, Every One Assumes That It Has Been Carried Out "under Orders" From Somewhere Or Another; No One Seems To Think That There Are People Who Might Like To Kill Their Neighbours Now And Then.

I Always Say Beauty Is Only Sin Deep.

To Be Clever In The Afternoon Argues That One Is Dining Nowhere In The Evening.

Romance At Short Notice Was Her Speciality.

To Be Among People Who Are Smothered In Furs When One Hasn't Any Oneself Makes One Want To Break Most Of The Commandments.

And The Vagueness Of His Alarm Added To Its Terrors; When Once You Have Taken The Impossible Into Your Calculations Its Possibilities Become Practically Limitless.

Women And Elephants Never Forget An Injury.

The People Of Crete Unfortunately Make More History Than They Can Consume Locally.

A Woman Who Takes Her Husband About With Her Everywhere Is Like A Cat That Goes On Playing With A Mouse Long After She's Killed It.

Children Are Given Us To Discourage Our Better Emotions.

All Decent People Live Beyond Their Incomes; Those Who Aren't Respectable Live Beyond Other People's; A Few Gifted Individuals Manage To Do Both.

There Are Certain Fixed Rules That One Observes For One's Own Comfort. For Instance, Never Be Flippantly Rude To Any Inoffensive Grey-bearded Stranger That You May Meet In Pine Forests Or Hotel Smoking-rooms On The Continent. It Always Turns Out To Be The King Of Sweden.

A Relative Of Mine ... Spends His Time Producing Improved Breeds Of Sheep And Pigs And Chickens. So Patronising And Irritating To Teh Almighty, I Should Think.

Children With Hyacinth's Temperament Don't Know Better As They Grow Older; They Merely Know More.

Confront A Child, A Puppy, And A Kitten With A Sudden Danger; The Child Will Turn Instinctively For Assistance, The Puppy Will Grovel In Abject Submission, The Kitten Will Brace Its Tiny Body For A Frantic Resistance.

We All Know That Prime Ministers Are Wedded To The Truth, But Like Other Wedded Couples They Sometimes Live Apart.

A Beautifully Constructed Borshch, Such As You Are Going To Experience Presently, Ought Not Only To Banish Conversation But Almost To Annihilate Thought.

It Was One Thing To Go To The End Of The World; It Was Quite Another Thing To Make Oneself At Home There. Even Respectability Seemed To Lose Some Of Its Virtue When One Practiced It In A Tent.

A Little Inaccuracy Sometimes Saves A Ton Of Explanation.

Sophie Chattel-monkheim Was A Socialist By Conviction And A Chattel-monkheim By Marriage.

The Cook Was A Good Cook, As Cooks Go; And As Cooks Go, She Went.

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Never Be A Pioneer. It's The Early Christian That Gets The Fattest Lion.

It Occurred To Me That I Would Like To Be A Poet. The Chief Qualification, I Understand Is That You Must Be Born. Well, I Hunted Up My Birth Certificate, And Found That I Was All Right On That Score.

The Cat Of The Slums And Alleys, Starved, Outcast, Harried, Still Keeps Amid The Prowlings Of Its Adversity The Bold, Free, Panther-tread With Which It Paced Of Yore The Temple Courts Of Thebes, Still Displays The Self-reliant Watchfulness Which Man Has Never Taught It To Lay Aside.

There Was Something Alike Terrifying And Piteous In The Spectacle Of These Frail Old Morsels Of Humanity Consecrating Their Last Flickering Energies To The Task Of Making Each Other Wretched. Hatred Seemed To Be The One Faculty Which Had Survived In Undiminished Vigor Where All Else Was Dropping Into Ordered And Symmetrical Decay.

People Talk Vaguely About The Innocence Of A Little Child, But They Take Mighty Good Care Not To Let It Out Of Their Sight For Twenty Minutes.

The Fashion Just Now Is A Roman Catholic Frame Of Mind With An Agnostic Conscience: You Get The Mediaeval Picturesqueness Of The One With The Modern Conveniences Of The Other.

I Am Not Collecting Copies Of The Cheaper Editions Of Omar Khayyám. I Gave The Last Four That I Received To The Lift-boy, And I Like To Think Of Him Reading Them, With Fitzgerald's Notes, To His Aged Mother. Lift-boys Always Have Aged Mothers; Shows Such Nice Feeling On Their Part, I Think.

Why Are Women So Fond Of Raking Up The Past? They're As Bad As Tailors, Who Invariably Remember What You Owe Them For A Suit Long After You've Ceased To Wear It.

I Hate Posterity - It's So Fond Of Having The Last Word.

Mother, May I Go And Maffick, Tear Around And Hinder Traffic?

But, Good Gracious, You've Got To Educate Him First. You Can't Expect A Boy To Be Vicious Till He's Been To A Good School.

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You Evidently Feel That Brevity Is The Soul Of Widowhood.

Every Reformation Must Have Its Victims. You Can’t Expect The Fatted Calf To Share The Enthusiasm Of The Angels Over The Prodigal’s Return.

When People Grow Gradually Rich Their Requirements And Standard Of Living Expand In Proportion, While Their Present-giving Instincts Often Remain In The Undeveloped Condition Of Their Earlier Days. Something Showy And Not-too-expensive In A Shop Is Their Only Conception Of The Ideal Gift.

By Insisting On Having Your Bottle Pointing To The North When The Cork Is Being Drawn, And Calling The Waiter Max, You May Induce An Impression On Your Guests Which Hours Of Laboured Boasting Might Be Powerless To Achieve. For This Purpose, However, The Guests Must Be Chosen As Carefully As The Wine.

I Love Americans, But Not When They Try To Talk French. What A Blessing It Is That They Never Try To Talk English.

There Is No Easy In The World Neither Hard Everything Is The Same In A Way.

Sherard Blaw, The Dramatist Who Had Discovered Himself, And Who Had Given So Ungrudgingly Of His Discovery To The World.

Oysters Are More Beautiful Than Any Religion... There's Nothing In Christianity Or Buddhism That Quite Matches The Sympathetic Unselfishness Of An Oyster.

Life Is Full Of Its Disappointments, And I Suppose The Art Of Being Happy Is To Disguise Them As Illusions.

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The Cat Is Domestic Only As Far As Suits Its Own Ends.

Once A Female, Always A Female. Nature Is Not Always Infallible But She Always Abides By Her Mistakes.

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It Is One Of The Consolations Of Middle Aged Reformers That The Good That They Inculcate Must Live After Them If It Is To Live At All.

If He Had Unlimited Money At His Disposal, He Might Go Into The Wilds Somewhere And Shoot Big Game. I Never Know What The Big Game Have Done To Deserve It, But They Do Help To Deflect The Destructive Energies Of Some Of Our Social Misfits.

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