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Can't You Treat Yourself With A Bit More Consideration?' 'why Should I?' Mordion Said, Hugging The Duvet Round Himself. 'because You're A Person, Of Course!' Ann Snapped At Him. 'one Person Ought To Treat Another Person Properly Even If The Person's Himself!

-Diana Wynne Jones

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Can't You Treat Yourself

Diana Wynne Jones

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Can't You Treat Yourself With A Bit More Consideration?' 'why Should I?' Mordion Said, Hugging The Duvet Round Himself. 'because You're A Person, Of Course!' Ann Snapped At Him. 'one Person Ought To Treat Another Person Properly Even If The Person's Himself!

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And You're Too Nice," He Added, Above The Lap-lap Of The Water And The Patter Of Sand On The Water-lily Leaves. "i Was Relying On You Being Too Jealous To Let That Demon Near The Place.

Don’t Interrupt,’ One Of The Boys Said. ‘he’ll Lose His Life.’ Seeing It Was A Matter Of Life And Death, Sophie And Michael Backed Toward The Door. But Howl, Quite Unperturbed At Killing His Nephew, Strode Over To The Wall And Pulled The Boxes Up By The Roots.

After That, All The While Millie Was Eating The Pudding... We Both Tore Christopher's Character To Shreds. It Was Wonderful Fun.... He Drove Everyone Mad In Chrestomanci Castle By Insisting On Silk Shirts And Exactly The Right Kind Of Pajamas. 'and He Could Get Them Right Anyway By Magic,' Millie Told Me, 'if He Wasn't Too Lazy To Learn How.... But The Thing That Really Annoys Me Is The Way He Never Bothers To Learn A Person's Name. If A Person Isn't Important To Him, He Always Forgets Their Name.' When Millie Said This, I Realized That Christopher Had Never Once Forgotten My Name.

Oh Confound That Gray-and-scarlet Suit!" Sophie Said. "i Refuse To Believe That I Was The One That Got Caught With It!

I Do Feel Very Strongly That This Is One Of The Things Which People Need Encouragement To Sort Out, Because I Have This Very Strong Feeling That Everybody Is Probably A Genius At Something, It's Just A Question Of Finding This.

Being A Hero Means Ignoring How Silly You Feel.

He Scarcely Saw His Parents. When Christopher Was Small, He Was Terrified That He Would Meet Papa Out Walking In The Park One Day And Not Recognize Him.

Then There You Are, Then. The Day Howl Forgets To Do That Will Be The Day I Believe He's Really In Love, And Not Before." Michael To Sophie About Wether Or Not Howl Is Really In Love With Lettie. Pg, 170

Small Man Can Be A Very Funny Or A Very Tiresome Tour Companion, Depending On How This Kind Of Thing Grabs You. He Gambles, He Drinks Too Much And He Always Runs Away. Since The Rules Allow Him To Make Jokes, He Will Excuse His Behaviour In A Variety Of Comical Ways. Physically He Is Stunted And Not At All Handsome, Although He Usually Dresses Flamboyantly. He Tends To Wear Hats With Feathers In. You Will Discover He Is Very Vain. But, If You Can Avoid Smacking Him, You Will Come To Tolerate If Not Love Him. He Will Contrive, In Some Cowardly Way, To Play A Major Part In Saving The World.

It's Amazing The Way One Can Take A Step Ten And A Half Miles Long And Still Always Land In A Cowpat.

Do You Mind Not Being So Kind And Obedient? It Makes Me Nervous.

Doras Ii Was A Somewhat Absentminded King, It Is Said, When Death Came To Summon Him, Doras Granted Death The Usual Formal Audience And Then Dismissed Him From His Presence. Death Was Too Embarrassed To Return Until Many Years Later- Ka'a Orto'o, Gnomic Utterances

Annoyed?” Said Sophie. “why Should I Be Annoyed? Someone Only Filled The Castle With Rotten Aspic, And Deafened Everyone In Porthaven, And Scared Calcifer To A Cinder, And Broke A Few Hundred Hearts. Why Should That Annoy Me?

Nothing Is Safe From You. If I Were To Court A Girl Who Lived On An Iceberg In The Middle Of The Ocean, Sooner Or Later— Probably Sooner— I’d Look Up To See You Swooping Overhead On A Broomstick. In Fact, By Now I’d Be Disappointed In You If I Didn’t See You.” “are You Off To The Iceberg Today?” Sophie Retorted.

Can't You Just Keep Your Big Mouth Shut?" Brian Said Furiously To Nan. He Pointed To Chrestomanci. "how Do We Know He's Safe? For All We Know, He Could Be The Devil That You Summoned Up!" "oh, You Flatter Me, Brian," Chrestomanci Said.

Theseus Made Unscrupulous Use Of Ariadne (whom He Left On An Island Where Bacchus Later Found Her-i Always Think That Really Meant She Took To Drink, Poor Girl).

When Have You Looked?" Said Sophie. "oh, How Your Rears Flap And Your Long Nose Twitches", Howl Croaked.

This Book Will Prove The Following Ten Facts: 1. A Goon Is A Being Who Melts Into The Foreground And Sticks There. 2. Pigs Have Wings, Making Them Hard To Catch. 3. All Power Corrupts, But We Need Electricity. 4. When An Irresistible Force Meets An Immovable Object, The Result Is A Family Fight. 5. Music Does Not Always Sooth The Troubled Beast. 6. An Englishman's Home Is His Castle. 7. The Female Of The Species Is More Deadly Than The Male. 8. One Black Eye Deserves Another. 9. Space Is The Final Frontier, And So Is The Sewage Farm. 10. It Pays To Increase Your Word Power.

Typical! I Break My Neck Trying To Get Here, And I Find You Peacefully Tidying Up!

I Assure You, My Friends, I Am Cone Sold Stober.

Controller Borasus Sighed With Relief. Libraries Were Not Places Of Danger. It Had To Be A Hoax.

I Think We Ought To Live Happily Ever After.

Oh! Polly Thought. Why Aren't All Girls Locked Up By Law The Year They Turn Fifteen? They Do Such Stupid Things!

Goats," Said Maxwell Hyde, "are A Special Case. Mad As Hatters, All Of Them.

Go To Bed, You Fool," Calcifer Said Sleepily. "you're Drunk." "who, Me?" Said Howl. "i Assure You, My Friends, I Am Cone Sold Stober." He Got Up And Stalked Upstairs, Feeling For The Wall As If He Thought It Might Escape Him Unless He Kept In Touch With It. His Bedroom Door Did Escape Him.

But Sophie And Howl Were Holding One Another's Hand And Smiling And Smiling, Quite Unable To Stop. "don't Bother Me Know," Said Howl. "i Only Did It For The Money." "liar!"said Sophie. "i Said," Michael Said, "that Calcifer's Come Back!" That Did Get Howl's Attention And Sophie's Too.

Fantasy For Me As A Kid Was Real, And I Had A Fantasy About What Life Was, Whether It Was Sort Of Wicked And Dire, Or Wholly Normal, Or Whatever. Anything Really Close To Home Is Not, It Seems To Me, What A Good Book Should Be About.

I Think We Ought To Live Happily Ever After," And She Thought He Meant It. Sophie Knew That Living Happily Ever After With Howl Would Be A Good Deal More Hair-raising Than Any Storybook Made It Sound, Though She Was Determined To Try. "it Should Be Hair-raising," Added Howl. "and You'll Exploit Me," Sophie Said. "and Then You'll Cut Up All My Suits To Teach Me.

I've Got A Hangover." "no, You Hit Your Head On The Floor." "i Can't Stay. I've Got To Rescue That Fool Sophie.

Really, These Wizards! You'd Think No One Had Ever Had A Cold Before! Well, What Is It?" She Asked, Hobbling Through The Bedroom Door Onto The Filthy Carpet. "i'm Dying Of Boredom," Howl Said Pathetically. "or Maybe Just Dying.

I'll Show You How," Peter Said. "stop Hiding Behind Your Ignorance.

By Now It Was Clear That Howl Was In A Mood To Produce Green Slime Any Second. Sophie Hurriedly Put Her Sewing Away. "i'll Make Some Hot Buttered Toast," She Said. "is That All You Can Do In The Face Of Tragedy??" Howl Asked. "make Toast!

...don't Spoil My Learning Process!

Learning Process

Interesting Things Did Seem To Happen, But Always To Somebody Else.

Interesting Things

All She Heard Next Of The Strange Conversation Behind The Sofa Was Mrs. Pendragon Saying Something About Sending Twinkle (or Was His Name Howl?) To Bed Without Supper And Twinkle Daring Her To 'jutht Try It.

Christopher Discovered That You Dealt With Obnoxious Masters And Most Older Boys The Way You Dealt With Governesses: You Quite Politely Told Them The Truth In The Way They Wanted To Hear It, So That They Thought They Had Won And Left You In Peace.

As Often Happened, Charmain Began To Despair Of Getting Her Mother To Understand. She's Not Stupid, She Just Never Lets Her Mind Out, She Thought.

No I Am Not All Right!” Chrestomanci Said, After Five Minutes Of This. “i Have Worldwide Blisters. I Need A Shave. I’m Tired Out And I Haven’t Had Anything To Eat Since Breakfast Yesterday. Would You Feel Alright In My Position?

A Heart's A Heavy Burden.

After That, He Tried To Go Upstairs Through The Broom Cupboard, And Then The Yard. This Seemed To Puzzle Him A Little. But Finally He Discovered The Stairs, All Except The Bottom On, And Fell Up Them On His Face. The Whole Castle Shook.

Howl’s Voice Was Presently Heard Shouting Weakly, “help Me, Someone! I’m Dying From Neglect Up Here!

Imagination Doesn’t Just Mean Making Things Up. It Means Thinking Things Through, Solving Them, Or Hoping To Do So, And Being Just Distant Enough To Be Able To Laugh At Things That Are Normally Painful. Head Teachers Would Call This Escapism, But They Would Be Entirely Wrong. I Would Call Fantasy The Most Serious, And The Most Useful, Branch Of Writing There Is. And This Is Why I Don’t, And Never Would, Write Real Books.

Calcifer," Sophie Said, "i Shall Have To Break Your Contract. Will It Kill You?" "it Would If Anyone Else Broke It," Calcifer Said Hoarsely. "that's Why I Asked You To Do It.

This Is The Mythosphere. It's Made Up Of All The Stories, Theories And Beliefs, Legends, Myths And Hopes, That Are Generated Here On Earth. As You Can See, It's Constantly Growing And Moving As People Invent New Tales To Tell Or Find New Things To Believe. The Older Strands Move Out To Become These Spirals, Where Things Tend To Become Quite Crude And Dangerous. They've Hardened Off, You See.

I've Got A Hangover!" "no, You Hit Your Head On The Floor," Sophie Said. Howl Rose Up On His Hands And Knees With A Scramble. "i Can't Stay," He Said. "i've Got To Rescue That Fool Sophie." "i'm Here!" Sophie Shook His Shoulder. "but So Is Mis Angorian! Get Up And Do Something About Her!

Howl Has Been Very Kind To Me." And This Was True, Sophie Realized. Howl Showed His Kindness Rather Strangely, But, Considering All Sophie Did To Annoy Him, He Had Been Very Good To Her Indeed. "do Listen. He's Not Wicked At All!" There Was A Bit Of A Fizz From The Grate At This, Where Calcifer Was Watching With Some Interest. " He Isn't!" Sophie Said, To Calcifer As Much As To Fanny.

It Does Not Seem To Me That I Have The Right To Foist A Story On People, Most Of Whom Are Children Who Should Be Learning All The Time, Unless I Am Learning From It Too.

Chrestomanci Smiled And Swept Out Of The Room Like A Very Long Procession Of One Person.

Mr. Stock Came Out Of The Competition Tent Carrying His Zeppelin Marrow On One Shoulder And Demanding To Know What Was Going On. When He Saw The Hordes Advancing On Aidan, He Charged Off That Way, Whirling The Great Vegetable. The Puck, Who Was Rushing Behind The Horde, Yelling At Them To Grab Aidan And Kill Rolf, Was Mr. Stock's First Victim. The Marrow Caught Him Thock! On The Side Of The Head. It Laid The Puck Out Cold On The Grass, But The Mighty Vegetable Remained Intact, Mottled And Glossy

Learn To Drive?" "never," Said Quentin. "my Mission In Life Is To Be A Passenger.

I Don’t Think I Will Get Married,” Polly Said As She Stood Up. “i’m Going To Train To Be A Hero Instead.

I Am A Total Zombie Just After I Wake Up. It Takes Me Half An Hour Even To Get My Eyes Open. Ask Anyone Who Knows Me. I Can't See; I Can't Talk Properly; I Can't Do Anything Without Help. The Only Think I Can Do Properly Is Think. And I Know How To Exploit My Condition. I've Had Years Of Practice.

Yes. I Was Looking For Lettie. They Were Both Very Kind To Me,” Percival Said, “even Though They’d Never Seen Me Before. And Wizard Howl Kept Visiting To Court Lettie. Lettie Didn’t Want Him, And She Asked Me To Bite Him To Get Rid Of Him, Until Howl Suddenly Began Asking Her About You And—“ “what?” He Said, “ I Know Someone Called Sophie Who Looks A Little Like You.. And Lettie Said, That’s My Sister,’ Without Thinking,” Percival Said. “ And She Got Terribly Worried Then, Particularly As Howl Went On Asking About Her Sister.

Happiness Isn't A Thing. You Can't Go Out And Get It Like A Cup Of Tea. It's The Way You Feel About Things.

Nobody Can Buy A Hat Without Gossiping.

A Fickle Heart Is The Only Constant In This World

Howl Said To Sophie, "i've Been Wondering All Along If You Would Turn Out To Be That Lovely Girl I Met On May Day. Why Were You Scared Then?

But I Discovered That People Like Me -- They Do, You Know, If You Like Them -- And Then It Was All Right.

...if The Spell Was Off, I’d Have My Heart Eaten Before I Could Turn Around.” “don’t You Want Your Heart Eaten?” Asked The Fire. [...] “naturally I Don’t,” Sophie Answered.

You've Probably All Had Those Kinds Of Dreams That Are Like Usual Life, Except That A Lot Of Things Are Not The Same, And You Seem To Know The Future In Them. Well, This Is Because These Other Worlds Where Two Things Can Happen Spread Out From Our World Like Rainbows, And Sort Of Flow Into One Another-

If You Must Know, I-i Had Never In My Life Kissed A Young Lady, And You Are Far Too Beautiful To Me To Want To Get It Wrong!

A Library Is A Place Full Of Mouth-watering Food For Thought.

I'm Going Up To My Room Now, Where I May Die.

He Picked Up The Skull And Knocked An Onion Ring Out Of Its Eye Socket. "i See Sophie Has Been Busy Again. Couldn't You Have Restrained Her, My Friend?" The Skull Yattered Its Teeth At Him. Howl Put It Down Rather Hastily.

"eight Days Of Luke" Was Refused By Another Confused Publisher On The Grounds That Children Shouldn't Strike Matches. When My Agent Pointed Out That David In The Book Was Twelve Years Old, The Publisher Said That He Was Striking Matches To Summon The Devil, Then, And This Couldn't Be Allowed.

In Addition, Master Twinkle Seems Convinced That Someone Is Denying Him A Pair Of Stripey Trousers.

I've Often Noticed" Fiona Said, "that When People Say, 'this Can't Happen In This Day And Age', They Say It Because It Is Happening.

Sophie Did Not Care To Think How Howl Might React If Fanny Woke Him By Stabbing Him With Her Parasol.

Beauty Isn't Made Of Sugar.

Writing For Adults, You Have To Keep Reminding Them Of What Is Going On. The Poor Things Have Given Up Using Their Brains When They Read. Children You Only Need To Tell Things To Once.

Hope Is The Forward-looking Part Of Memory.

Look. Survey. Inspect. My Hair Is Ruined! I Look Like A Pan Of Bacon And Eggs!

And It's A Pity Too That I've No Right To Open Your Letters. I Hope You Don't Get Many, Or My Conscience Will Give Me No Peace.

Slender Youth. A Tour Companion Who May Be Either A Lost Prince Or A Girl/princess In Disguise. In The Latter Case It Is Tactful To Pretend You Think She Is A Boy. She/he Will Be Ignorant, Hasty And Shy, And Will Need Hauling Out Of Trouble Quite A Lot. But She/he Will Grow Up In The Course Of The Tour. In Fact She/he Will Be The Only Companion Who Will Change In Any Way. Quite Often, She/he Will Soon Exhibit A Very Useful Talent For Magic And End Up By Hauling Everyone Else Out Of Trouble. But This Will Not Be Until Midway Through Your Second Brochure.

You've No Right To Walk Into People's Castles And Take Their Guitars.

You're Wearing That Hat? After All The Magic I Used To Make Your Dress Pretty?" ~howl From The Movie 'howl's Moving Castle

Alas, Poor Yorick!" He Said. "she Heard Mermaids, So It Follows That There Is Something Rotten In The State Of Denmark. I Have Caught An Everlasting Cold, But Luckily I Am Terribly Dishonest. I Cling To That.

Nobody Gets Praised For The Right Reasons.

There Is Very Seldom Any True Secret.

Tell Me About This Wizard Howl Of Yours." "he's The Best Wizard In Ingary Or Anywhere Else. If He'd Only Had Time, He Would Have Defeated That Djinn. And He's Sly And Selfish And Vain As A Peacock And Cowardly, And You Can't Pin Him Down To Anything." "indeed? Strange That You Should Speak So Proudly Such A List Of Vices, Most Loving Of Ladies." "what Do You Mean, Vices? I Was Just Describing Howl. He Comes From Another World Entirely, You Know, Called Wales, And I Refuse To Believe He's Dead!

All These Things That Crib And Cab In Your Brain, In Your Imagination, Are In Fact Things That Might Well In Later Life Drive You Insane.

By This Time, Half The People In High Norland Were Gathered In Royal Square To Stare At The Castle. They All Watched With Disbelief As The Castle Rose Slightly Into The Air And Glided Toward The Road That Led Southward. It Was Hardly More Than An Alley, Really. "it'll Never Fit!" People Said. But The Castle Somehow Squeezed Itself Narrow Enough To Drift Away Along It And Out Of Sight. The Citizens Of High Norland Gave It A Cheer As It Went.

It Is Quite A Risk To Spank A Wizard For Getting Hysterical About His Hair.

My Shining Dishonesty Will Be The Salvation Of Me.

But Most Dragons Seem To Have Interesting Personalities--besides Probably Having Quite Good Reasons For What They Do, If Only One Could Understand Them

Can't You Treat Yourself With A Bit More Consideration?' 'why Should I?' Mordion Said, Hugging The Duvet Round Himself. 'because You're A Person, Of Course!' Ann Snapped At Him. 'one Person Ought To Treat Another Person Properly Even If The Person's Himself!

I'm Delirious. Spots Are Crawling Before My Eyes." "those Are Spiders.

I've Seen Golems. They Don't Behave Like A Real Person.

Only Thin, Weak Thinkers Despise Fairy Stories. Each One Has A True, Strange Fact Hidden In It, You Know, Which You Can Find If You Look.

I Feel Ill," [howl] Announced. "i'm Going To Bed, Where I May Die.

Settle For What You Can Get, But First Ask For The World.

Every Man In Ingary Is Scared Stiff Of Her. You Ought To Know How That Feels, Sophie Dear.

To Love Someone Enough To Let Them Go, You Had To Let Them Go Forever Or You Did Not Love Them That Much.

Sage. A Wise And Holy Man Who Died A Long Time Ago. No One Modern Qualifies.

I’m Beginning To Think I’ve Led A Much Too Sheltered Life.

Sheltered Lives

She Was Remorseless, But She Lacked Method.

In The Land Of Ingary Where Such Things As Seven-league Boots And Cloaks Of Invisibility Really Exist, It Is Quite A Misfortune To Be Born The Eldest Of The Three. Everyone Knows You Are The One Who Will Fail First, And Worst, If The Three Of You Set Out To Seek Your Fortunes.

It Does Seem That A Fantasy, Working Out In Its Own Terms, Stretching You Beyond The Normal Concerns Of Your Own Life, Gains You A Peculiar Charge Of Energy Which Inexplicably Enriches You. At Least, This Is My Ideal Of A Fantasy, And I Am Always Trying To Write It.

Pray Use Both Cats As Sponges If It Pleases You, Infatuated Infantryman.

Sophie Said A Bad Word. In The Dim Light She Had Stubbed Her Toe On One Of The Many Dusty Bricks Piled Around The Place. Naughty-naughty" Twinkle Said. Oh Shut Up!" Sophie Said , Standing On One Leg To Hold Her Toe. "why Don't You Grow Up?

One Does Not Want Glory Accepted As A Matter Of Course. One Wants To Shock And Astonish People With It.

It's Just As I Thought," She Said. "i Prefer You To Every Single One Of These. Some Of These Look Far Too Proud Of Themselves, And Some Look Selfish And Cruel. You Are Unassuming And Kind. I Intend To Ask My Father To Marry Me To You, Instead Of To The Prince In Ochinstan. Would You Mind?

Mother Very Easily Made Jam Sandwiches Under No Protest

It Was Only When Shona, In Sheer Fury, Turned The Carnivorous Sheep Among Them That They Moved. They Ran, Some Of Them With Charming Little White Sheep Attached To Their Legs Or Backsides And The Rest Shouting About Monsters.

What Makes You A Real Girl Or Boy Is That No One Laughs At You. If You Are Imitation Or Unreal, The Rules Give You A Right To Exist Provided You Do What The Real Ones Or Brutes Say. What Makes You Into Me Or Charles Morgan Is That The Rules Allow All The Girls To Be Better Than Me And All The Boys Better Than Charles Morgan.

I Can't Abide People Who Go Soft Over Animals And Then Cheat Every Human They Come Across!

So You Were Going To Rescue The Prince! Why Did You Pretend To Run Away? To Deceive The Witch?" "not Likely! I'm A Coward. Only Way I Can Do Something This Frightening Is To Tell Myself I'm Not Doing It!

I Only Want To Catch You,” Michael Explained. “i Won’t Hurt You.” “no! No!” The Star Crackled Desperately. “that’s Wrong! I’m Supposed To Die!” “but I Could Save You If You’d Let Me Catch You,” Michael Told It Gently. “no!” Cried The Star. “i’d Rather Die!

A Garden Should Be Natural-seeming, With Wild Sections, Including A Large Area Of Bluebells.

Mr. Crossley Suddenly Wondered Why He Was Why He Was Worrying About The Note. It Was Only A Joke, After All. He Cleared His Throat. Everyone Looked Up Hopefully. 'somebody,' Said Mr. Crossley, 'seems To Have Sent Me A Halloween Message.' And He Read Out The Note: 'someone In This Class Is A Witch.' 6b Thought This Was Splendid News. Hands Shot Up All Over The Room Like A Bed Of Beansprouts. 'it's Me, Mr. Crossley!' 'mr. Crossley, I'm The Witch!' 'can I Be The Witch, Mr. Crossley?' 'me, Mr. Crossley, Me, Me, Me!

But I Do Think That When People Say 'a Learning Curve,' They Make A Mistake. Learning To Me Always Seems To Go In A Straight, Ignorant Line And Then, Every So Often, Takes A Jump Straight Upward.

If I Give You A Hint And Tell You It's A Hint, It Will Be Information.

I Could Cut A Star Out Of Paper And Drop It.

If You Take Myth And Folklore, And These Things That Speak In Symbols, They Can Be Interpreted In So Many Ways That Although The Actual Image Is Clear Enough, The Interpretation Is Infinitely Blurred, A Sort Of Enormous Rainbow Of Every Possible Colour You Could Imagine.

You Are A Terror, Aren't You? Leave This Yard Alone. I Know Just Where Everything Is In It, And I Won't Be Able To Find The Things I Need For My Transport Spells If You Tidy Them Up.'so There Was Probably A Bundle Of Souls Or A Box Of Chewed Hearts Somewhere Out Here, Sophie Thought. She Felt Really Thwarted. 'tidying Up Is What I'm Here For!' She Shouted At Howl. 'then You Must Think Of A New Meaning For Your Life,' Howl Said.

Things We Are Accustomed To Regard As Myth Or Fairy Story Are Very Much Present In People's Lives. Nice People Behave Like Wicked Stepmothers. Every Day.

One Person Ought To Treat Another Person Properly, Even If The Person's Himself.

Busy Old Fool, Unruly Sophie

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