Background Image

...

But The Toaster Was Quite Satisfied With Itself, Thank You. Though It Knew From Magazines That There Were Toasters Who Could Toast Four Slices At A Time, It Didn't Think That The Master, Who Lived Alone And Seemed To Have Few Friends, Would Have Wanted A Toaster Of Such Institutional Proportions. With Toast, It's Quality That Matters, Not Quantity.

-Thomas M. Disch

...

Please Wait....
Translating....

But The Toaster Was

Thomas M. Disch

...

But The Toaster Was Quite Satisfied With Itself, Thank You. Though It Knew From Magazines That There Were Toasters Who Could Toast Four Slices At A Time, It Didn't Think That The Master, Who Lived Alone And Seemed To Have Few Friends, Would Have Wanted A Toaster Of Such Institutional Proportions. With Toast, It's Quality That Matters, Not Quantity.

Views: 8

Topic

More From Thomas M. Disch

Writers Tend To Consider Distinction And Originality As Virtues, But They Are Anathema To Publishers.

The Gods, After All, Are Only Human, And Once Their Rage Has Been Placated They Are Perfectly Capable Of Acts Of Mercy And Grace.

Genius Is An Infinite Capacity For Pain.

It Considered Trying To Explain Their Error To Them, But What Would Be The Use? They Would Only Go Away With Hurt Feelings. You Can't Always Expect People, Or Squirrels, To Be Rational.

America Is A Nation Of Liars, And For That Reason Science Fiction Has A Special Claim To Be Our National Literature, As The Art Form Best Adapted To Telling The Lies We Like To Hear And To Pretend We Believe.

The Distances Between The Stars Seem Brief By Contrast To The Distances Between Each Of Us And His Fellows.

Gene Wolfe Has Produced A Work Of Art That Can Satisfy Adult Appetites And In Which Even The Most Fantastical Elements Register As Poetry Rather Than As Penny-whistle Whimsy.

Let Me Tell You About The End Of The World. It Happened Fifty Years Ago. Maybe A Hundred. And Since Then It's Been Lovely. I Mean It. Nobody Tries To Bother You. You Can Relax. You Know What? I Like The End Of The World.

Here Was A Flower (the Daisy Reflected) Strangely Like Itself And Yet Utterly Unlike Itself Too. Such A Paradox Has Often Been The Basis For The Most Impassioned Love.

A Predilection For Genre Fiction Is Symptomatic Of A Kind Of Arrested Development.

Science Fiction Is A Branch Of Children's Literature.

Sometimes The Whole World Is Mud Luscious And Puddle Wonderful

Knowledge Is Devalued When It Becomes Too Generally Known

Sameness Is What Marketers Want Us To Want.

Though Opposition Is A Hopeless Task, Acquiescence Would Be Worse.

Poets Are Regarded As Handicapped Writers Whose Work Must Be Treated With A Tender Condescension, Such As One Accords The Athletic Achievements Of Basketball Players Confined To Wheelchairs.

Thought Is A Disease Of The Brain. The Mind Defends Itself Against The Degenerative Process Of Creativity; It Begins To Jell; Notions Solidify Into Inalterable Systems.

All Children... Feel A Demonic Sympathy With Those Things That Cause Disorder In The Grown-up World.

Creativity Is The Ability To See Relationships Where None Exist.

So, Without Saying Anything To The Others, It Made Its Way To The Farthest Corner Of The Meadow And Began To Toast An Imaginary Muffin. That Was Always The Best Way To Unwind When Things Got To Be Too Much For It.

The Forest Stretched On Seemingly Forever With The Most Monotonous Predictability, Each Tree Just Like The Next - Trunk, Branches, Leaves; Trunk, Branches, Leaves. Of Course A Tree Would Have Taken A Different View Of The Matter. We All Tend To See The Way Others Are Alike And How We Differ, And It's Probably Just As Well We Do, Since That Prevents A Great Deal Of Confusion. But Perhaps We Should Remind Ourselves From Time To Time That Ours Is A Very Partial View, And That The World Is Full Of A Great Deal More Variety Than We Ever Manage To Take In.

Laughter Is Just A Slowed Down Scream Of Terror.

Creativeness Is Finding Patterns Where None Exist.

But Before Any Of The Small Appliances Who May Be Listening To This Tale Should Begin To Think That They Might Do The Same Thing, Let Them Be Warned: Electricity Is Very Dangerous. Never Play With Old Batteries! Never Put Your Plug In A Strange Socket! And If You Are In Any Doubt About The Voltage Of The Current Where You Are Living, Ask A Major Appliance.

But The Toaster Was Quite Satisfied With Itself, Thank You. Though It Knew From Magazines That There Were Toasters Who Could Toast Four Slices At A Time, It Didn't Think That The Master, Who Lived Alone And Seemed To Have Few Friends, Would Have Wanted A Toaster Of Such Institutional Proportions. With Toast, It's Quality That Matters, Not Quantity.

For A Lot Of People, Poetry Tends To Be Dull. It's Not Read Much. It Takes A Special Kind Of Training And A Lot Of Practice To Read Poetry With Pleasure. It's Like Learning To Like Asparagus.

Trending Author

Jim Sensenbrenner

Raymond E. Feist

Category