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Are You Suggesting Coconuts Migrate?

-Graham Chapman

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Are You Suggesting Coconuts

Graham Chapman

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Are You Suggesting Coconuts Migrate?

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In 1945, Peace Broke Out. It Was The End Of The Joke. Joke Warfare Was Banned At A Special Session Of The Geneva Convention, And In 1950 The Last Remaining Copy Of The Joke Was Laid To Rest Here In The Berkshire Countryside, Never To Be Told Again.

Oh Lord Please Don't Burn Us Don't Kill Or Toast Your Flock. Don't Put Us On The Barbecue Or Simmer Us In Stock. Don't Bake Or Baste Or Boil Us Or Stir-fry Us In A Wok.

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Are You Suggesting Coconuts Migrate?

Oh, You're In Television! That's Interesting. No, I Mean, The Word Television Is Interesting. It's A Hybrid, You See: Tele- Comes From The Greek, And -vision Comes From The Latin. It Should Have Been Either "telerama", Or "procolvision".

A Murderer Is Only An Extroverted Suicide.

First You Must Find... Another Shrubbery! Then, When You Have Found The Shrubbery, You Must Place It Here, Beside This Shrubbery, Only Slightly Higher So You Get A Two Layer Effect With A Little Path Running Down The Middle. ("a Path! A Path!") Then, You Must Cut Down The Mightiest Tree In The Forrest... With... A Herring!

I Don't Want To Talk To You No More, You Empty Headed Animal Food Trough Wiper. I Fart In Your General Direction. Your Mother Was A Hamster And Your Father Smelt Of Elderberries.

An Argument Is A Connected Series Of Statements Intended To Establish A Definite Proposition... A Contradiction Is Just The Automatic Gainsaying Of Anything The Other Person Says." No, It's Not.

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When Beethoven Went Deaf, The Mynah Bird Just Used To Mime.

There Is No Cannibalism In The British Navy, Absolutely None. And When I Say None, I Mean There Is A Certain Amount, More Than I Personally Admit.

Kilimanjaro Is A Pretty Tricky Climb You Know, Most Of It's Up Until You Reach The Very Very Top, And Then It Tends To Slope Away Rather Sharply.

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I Think That All Good, Right Thinking People In This Country Are Sick And Tired Of Being Told That All Good, Right Thinking People In This Country Are Fed Up With Being Told That All Good, Right Thinking People In This Country Are Fed Up With Being Sick And Tired. I'm Certainly Not, And I'm Sick And Tired Of Being Told That I Am.

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You See, I Don't Belive That Libraries Should Be Drab Places Where People Sit In Silence, That Has Been The Main Reason For Our Policy Of Employing Wild Animals As Librarians.

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