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If You Want To Marry Me, Here's What You'll Have To Do: You Must Learn How To Make A Perfect Chicken-dumpling Stew. And You Must Sew My Holey Socks, And Soothe My Troubled Mind, And Develop The Knack For Scratching My Back, And Keep My Shoes Spotlessly Shined. And While I Rest You Must Rake Up The Leaves, And When It Is Hailing And Snowing You Must Shovel The Walk...and Be Still When I Talk, And-hey-where Are You Going?

-Shel Silverstein

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If You Want To

Shel Silverstein

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If You Want To Marry Me, Here's What You'll Have To Do: You Must Learn How To Make A Perfect Chicken-dumpling Stew. And You Must Sew My Holey Socks, And Soothe My Troubled Mind, And Develop The Knack For Scratching My Back, And Keep My Shoes Spotlessly Shined. And While I Rest You Must Rake Up The Leaves, And When It Is Hailing And Snowing You Must Shovel The Walk...and Be Still When I Talk, And-hey-where Are You Going?

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If You're A Bird, Be An Early Bird. But If You're A Worm, Sleep Late.

Imagine - Four Years You Could Have Spent Travelling Around Europe Meeting People, Or Going To The Far East Of Africa Or India, Meeting People, Exchanging Ideas, Reading All You Wanted To Anyway, And Instead I Wasted It At Roosevelt.

The Baby Bat Screamed Out In Fright, 'turn On The Dark, I'm Afraid Of The Light.

Tell Me I'm Clever, Tell Me I'm Kind, Tell Me I'm Talented, Tell Me I'm Cute, Tell Me I'm Sensitive, Graceful And Wise, Tell Me I'm Perfect - But Tell Me The Truth.

I Can Be Someone's And Still Be My Own.

Pirate Captain Jim "walk The Plank," Says Pirate Jim "but Captain Jim, I Cannot Swim." "then You Must Steer Us Through The Gale." "but Captain Jim, I Cannot Sail." "then Down With The Galley Slaves You Go." "but Captain Jim, I Cannot Row." "then You Must Be The Pirate's Clerk." "but Captain Jim, I Cannot Work.

Anything Can Happen, Child. Anything Can Be.

So Please Get Your Rags And Your Polishing Jars, Somebody Has To Go Polish The Stars.

What Did The Carrot Say To The Wheat? Lettuce Rest, I'm Feeling Beet.

You Don't Have To Shoot Me," Says The Young Lion. "i Will Be Your Rug And I Will Lie In Front Of Your Fireplace And I Won't Move A Muscle And You Can Sit On Me And Toast All The Marshmallows You Want. I Love Marshmallows.

Thanksgiving Dinner's Sad And Thankless. Christmas Dinner's Dark And Blue. When You Stop And Try To See It From The Turkey's Point Of View. Sunday Dinner Isn't Sunny. Easter Feasts Are Just Bad Luck. When You See It From The Viewpoint Of A Chicken Or A Duck. Oh How I Once Loved Tuna Salad Pork And Lobsters, Lamb Chops Too Till I Stopped And Looked At Dinner From The Dinner's Point Of View.

An Oak Tree And A Rosebush Grew, Young And Green Together, Talking The Talk Of Growing Things- Wind And Water And Weather. And While The Rosebush Sweetly Bloomed The Oak Tree Grew So High That Now It Spoke Of Newer Things- Eagles, Mountain Peaks And Sky. "i Guess You Think You're Pretty Great," The Rose Was Heard To Cry, Screaming As Loud As It Possibly Could To The Treetop In The Sky. "and Now You Have No Time For Flower Talk, Now That You've Grown So Tall." "it's Not So Much That I've Grown," Said The Tree, "it's Just That You've Stayed So Small.

She Had Blue Skin, And So Did He. He Kept It Hid And So Did She. They Searched For Blue Their Whole Life Through, Then Passed Right By- And Never Knew.

My Beard Grows Down To My Toes, I Never Wears No Clothes, I Wraps My Hair Around My Bare, And Down The Road I Goes.

All The Woulda-coulda-shouldas Layin' In The Sun, Talkin' 'bout The Things They Woulda-coulda-shoulda Done... But All Those Woulda-coulda-shouldas All Ran Away And Hid From One Little Did.

Would You Like To Hear The Night I Bravely Fought The- No? Alright

Once I Spoke The Language Of The Flowers, Once I Understood Each Word The Caterpillar Said, Once I Smiled In Secret At The Gossip Of The Starlings, And Shared A Conversation With The Housefly In My Bed. Once I Heard And Answered All The Questions Of The Crickets, And Joined The Crying Of Each Falling Dying Flake Of Snow, Once I Spoke The Language Of The Flowers. . . . How Did It Go? How Did It Go?

I Was Always Prepared For Success But That Means That I Have To Be Prepared For Failure, Too.

Once I Spoke The Language Of The Flowers,once I Undrestand Each Word The Caterpillar Said,once I Smiled In Secret At The Gossip Of The Starlings.

He Wasted His Wishes On Wishing.

It Was Missing A Piece. And It Was Not Happy. So It Set Off In Search Of Its Missing Piece. And As It Rolled It Sang This Song - "oh I'm Lookin' For My Missin' Piece I'm Lookin' For My Missin' Piece Hi-dee-ho, Here I Go, Lookin' For My Missin' Piece.

So I'm All Of Love That Could Make It Today.

One Sister For Sale, One Sister For Sale, One Crying And Spying Young Sister For Sale I'm Really Not Kidding So Who'll Start The Bidding Do I Hear A Dollar? A Nickle? A Penny? Oh Isnt There Isnt There Isnt There Any One Person Who Will Buy This Sister For Sale This Crying Spying Old Young Sister For Sale.

No Difference Small As A Peanut, Big As A Giant, We're All The Same Size When We Turn Off The Light. Rich As A Sultan, Poor As A Mite, We're All Worth The Same When We Turn Off The Light. Red, Black Or Orange, Yellow Or White, We All Look The Same When We Turn Off The Light. So Maybe The Way, To Make Everything Right Is For God To Just Reach Out And Turn Off The Light!

My Skin Is Kind Of Sort Of Brownish Pinkish Yellowish White. My Eyes Are Greyish Blueish Green, But I'm Told They Look Orange In The Night. My Hair Is Reddish Blondish Brown, But Its Silver When Its Wet, And All The Colors I Am Inside Have Not Been Invented Yet.

A Hippo Sandwich Is Easy To Make. All You Do Is Simply Take One Slice Of Bread, One Slice Of Cake, Some Mayonnaise, One Onion Ring, One Hippopotamus, One Piece Of String, A Dash Of Pepper. That Ought To Do It. And Now Comes The Problem... Biting Into It!

But All The Magic I Have Known I've Had To Make Myself.

Just 'cause Somethin' Ain't Been Done Don't Mean It Can't Be Did.

If There Is A Book You Want To Read But Isn`t Written Yet,write It.

There Are No Happy Endings. Endings Are The Saddest Part, So Just Give Me A Happy Middle And A Very Happy Start.

Let Us Leave This Place Where The Smoke Blows Black And The Dark Street Winds And Bends. Past The Pits Where The Asphalt Flowers Grow We Shall Walk With A Walk That Is Measured And Slow, And Watch Where The Chalk-white Arrows Go To The Place Where The Sidewalk Ends.

And All The Colors I Am Inside Have Not Been Invented Yet.

Listen To The Mustn'ts, Child. Listen To The Don'ts. Listen To The Shouldn'ts, The Impossibles, The Won'ts. Listen To The Never Haves, Then Listen Close To Me... Anything Can Happen, Child. Anything Can Be.

... And She Loved A Boy Very, Very Much-- Even More Than She Loved Herself.

Do A Loony-goony Dance 'cross The Kitchen Floor, Put Something Silly In The World That Ain't Been There Before.

If You Have To Dry The Dishes (such An Awful Boring Chore) If You Have To Dry The Dishes ('stead Of Going To The Store) If You Have To Dry The Dishes And You Drop One On The Floor Maybe They Won't Let You Dry The Dishes Anymore

At Night My Mind Does Not Much Care If What It Thinks Is Here Or There. It Tells Me Stories, It Invents And Makes Up Things That Don't Make Sense. I Do Not Know Why It Does This Stuff. The Real World Seems Quite Weird Enough.

Don't Be Dependent On Anyone Else. I Want To Go Everywhere, Look At, And Listen To Everything. You Can Go Crazy With Some Of The Wonderful Stuff There Is In Life.

Frozen Dream I'll Take The Dream I Had Last Night And Put It In My Freezer, So Someday Long And Far Away When I'm An Old Grey Geezer, I'll Take It Out And Thaw It Out, This Lovely Dream I've Frozen, And Boil It Up And Sit Me Down A Dip My Old Cold Toes In.

When I Was A Kid I Would Much Rather Have Been A Good Baseball Player Or A Hit With The Girls, But I Couldn't Play Ball. I Couldn't Dance. Luckily, The Girls Didn't Want Me. Not Much I Could Do About That. So I Started To Draw And To Write By The Time I Got To Where I Was Attracting Girls, I Was Already Into Work, And It Was More Important To Me. Not That I Wouldn't Rather Make Love, But The Work Has Become A Habit.

Never Explain What You Do. It Speaks For Itself. You Only Muddle It By Talking About It.

How Many Slams In An Old Screen Door? Depends How Loud You Shut It. How Many Slices In A Bread? Depends How Thin You Cut It. How Much Good Inside A Day? Depends How Good You Live 'em. How Much Love Inside A Friend? Depends How Much You Give 'em.

Did You Hear 'bout Ticklish Tom? He Got Tickled By His Mom. Wiggled And Giggled And Fell On The Floor, . . . . And All The More That He Kept Gigglin', All The More Folks Kept Ticklin'. He Shrieked And Screamed And Rolled Around, Laughed His Way Right Out Of Town. Through The Country Down The Road, He Got Tickled By A Toad. . . . . Giggling, Rolling On His Back He Rolled On The Railroad Track. Rumble, Rumble, Whistle, Roar- Tom Ain't Ticklish Any More.

Ourchestra: So You Haven't Got A Drum, Just Beat Your Belly. So I Haven't Got A Horn-i'll Play My Nose. So We Haven't Any Cymbals- We'll Just Slap Our Hands Together, And Though There May Be Orchestras That Sound A Little Better With Their Fancy Shiny Instruments That Cost An Awful Lot- Hey, We're Making Music Twice As Good By Playing What We've Got!

One Day He Said, "i'll Tell This Town How It Feels To Be An Unfunny Clown." And He Told Them All Why He Looked So Sad, And He Told Them All Why He Felt So Bad. He Told Of Pain And Rain And Cold, He Told Of Darkness In His Soul, And After He Finished His Tale Of Woe, Did Everyone Cry? Oh No, No, No, They Laughed Until They Shook The Trees... And While The World Laughed Outside. Cloony The Clown Sat Down And Cried.

G'bye, I'm Going Out To Play!

If You Want To Marry Me, Here's What You'll Have To Do: You Must Learn How To Make A Perfect Chicken-dumpling Stew. And You Must Sew My Holey Socks, And Soothe My Troubled Mind, And Develop The Knack For Scratching My Back, And Keep My Shoes Spotlessly Shined. And While I Rest You Must Rake Up The Leaves, And When It Is Hailing And Snowing You Must Shovel The Walk...and Be Still When I Talk, And-hey-where Are You Going?

There Is A Place Where The Sidewalk Ends, And Before The Street Begins, And There The Grass Grows Soft And White, And There The Sun Burns Crimson Bright, And There The Moon-bird Rests From His Flight To Cool In The Peppermint Wind.

And The Boy Loved The Tree.......very Much. And The Tree Was Happy.

Instead Of Tug O' War, Let's Play Hug O' War.

I'd Rather Play Tennis Than Go To The Dentist. I'd Rather Play Soccer Than Go To The Doctor. I'd Rather Play Hurk Than Go To Work. Hurk? Hurk? What's Hurk? I Don't Know But It Must Be Better Than Work!

This Bridge Will Take You Halfway There - The Last Few Steps You Will Have To Take Yourself.

Oh I'm Lookin' For My Missin' Piece I'm Lookin' For My Missin' Piece Hi-dee-ho, Here I Go, Lookin' For My Missin' Piece

I've Found My Missin' Piece So Grease My Knees And Fleece My Bees I've Found My Missin' Piece!

I Opened My Eyes And Looked Up At The Rain, And It Dripped In My Head And Flowed Into My Brain, And All That I Hear As I Lie In My Bed Is The Slishity-slosh Of The Rain In My Head. I Step Very Softly, I Walk Very Slow, I Can't Do A Handstand-- I Might Overflow, So Pardon The Wild Crazy Thing I Just Said-- I'm Just Not The Same Since There's Rain In My Head.

Alice She Drank From A Bottle Called Drink Me And She Grew So Tall, She Ate From A Plate Called Taste Me And Down She Shrank So Small. And So She Changed, While Other Folks Never Tried Nothin' At All.

I Will Not Play Tug O' War. I'd Rather Play Hug O' War. Where Everyone Hugs Instead Of Tugs, Where Everyone Giggles And Rolls On The Rug, Where Everyone Kisses, And Everyone Grins, And Everyone Cuddles, And Everyone Wins.

Everything Isn't Everything

The Bridge Will Only Take You Halfway There, To Those Mysterious Lands You Long To See. Through Gypsy Camps And Swirling Arab Fair, And Moonlit Woods Where Unicorns Run Free. So Come And Walk Awhile With Me And Share The Twisting Trails And Wondrous Worlds I've Known. But This Bridge Will Only Take You Halfway There. The Last Few Steps You Have To Take Alone.

Eighteen Luscuios Scrumpitous Flavors, Chocolate,lime And Cherry Coffee,pumpkin, Fudge-banana, Caramel Cream And Boysenberry. Rocky Road And Toasted Almond, Butterscotch,vanilla Dip, Butter Brinkle, Apple Ripple,coconut,and Mocha Chip, Brandy Peach And Lemon Custard. Each Scoop Lovely.smooth And Round. Tallest Cream Cone In Town Lying There On The Ground.

The Little Boy And The Old Man Said The Little Boy, "sometimes I Drop My Spoon." Said The Old Man, "i Do That Too." The Little Boy Whispered, "i Wet My Pants." I Do That Too," Laughed The Little Old Man. Said The Little Boy, "i Often Cry." The Old Man Nodded, "so Do I." But Worst Of All," Said The Boy, "it Seems Grown-ups Don't Pay Attention To Me." And He Felt The Warmth Of A Wrinkled Old Hand. I Know What You Mean," Said The Little Old Man.

Each Time I See The Upside-down Man Standing In The Water, I Look At Him And Start To Laugh, Although I Shouldn't Oughtter. For Maybe In Another World Another Time Another Town, Maybe He Is Right Side Up And I Am Upside Down

If You Are A Dreamer Come In

If You're Nasty, I Won't Fight. If You're Rough, Well That's Just You. If You're Mean, That's Alright Too. Whatever You Are Is All Okay. I Don't Like You Anyway.

Anything Is Possible. Anything Can Be.

I Made Myself A Snowball As Perfect As Can Be. I Thought I'd Keep It As A Pet, And Let It Sleep With Me. I Made It Some Pajamas And A Pillow For It's Head. Then Last Night It Ran Away, But First - It Wet The Bed.

I Myself Do Not Believe In Explaining Anything.

Teddy Said It Was A Hat, So I Put It On. Now Dad Is Saying, "where The Heck's The Toilet Plunger Gone?

'i Don't Need Very Much Now,' Said The Boy, 'just A Quiet Place To Sit And Rest. I Am Very Tired.' 'well,' Said The Tree, Straightening Herself Up As Much As She Could, "well, An Old Stump Is Good For Sitting And Resting. Come, Boy, Sit Down. Sit Down And Rest.'and The Boy Did. And The Tree Was Happy.

When I Am Gone What Will You Do? Who Will Write And Draw For You? Someone Smarter--someone New? Someone Better--maybe You!

If You're Behind The Times, They Won't Notice You. If You're Right In Tune With Them, You're No Better Than They Are, So They Won't Care Much For You. Be Just A Little Ahead Of Them.

I Asked The Zebra, Are You Black With White Stripes? Or White With Black Stripes? And The Zebra Asked Me, Are You Good With Bad Habits? Or Are You Bad With Good Habits? Are You Noisy With Quiet Times? Or Are You Quiet With Noisy Times? Are You Happy With Some Sad Days? Or Are You Sad With Some Happy Days? Are You Neat With Some Sloppy Ways? Or Are You Sloppy With Some Neat Ways? And On And On And On And On And On And On He Went. I’ll Never Ask A Zebra About Stripes...again.

If We Meet And I Say, "hi," That's A Salutation. If You Ask Me How I Feel, That's A Consideration. If We Stop And Talk Awhile, That's A Conversation. If We Understand Each Other, That's Communication. If We Argue, Scream And Fight, That's An Altercation. If Later We Apologize, That's A Reconciliation. If We Help Each Other Home, That's Cooperation. And All These Ations Added Up Make Civilization. (and If I Say This Is A Wonderful Poem, Is That Exaggeration?)

If You're Sloppy, That's Just Fine. If You're Moody, I Won't Mind. If You're Fat, That's Fine With Me. If You're Skinny, Let It Be. If You're Bossy, That's All Right. If You're Nasty, I Won't Fight. If You're Rough, Well That's Just You. If You're Mean, That's All Right Too. Whatever You Are Is All Okay. I Don't Like You Anyway.

Just Me, Just Me Sweet Marie, She Loves Just Me (she Also Loves Maurice Mcghee). No She Don't, She Loves Just Me (she Also Loves Louise Dupree). No She Don't, She Loves Just Me (she Also Loves The Willow Tree). No She Don't, She Loves Just Me! (poor, Poor Fool, Why Can't You See She Can Love Others And Still Love Thee.)

Although I Cannot See Your Face As You Flip These Poems Awhile, Somewhere From Some Far-off Place I Hear You Laughing--and I Smile.

It's Always A Nice Feeling, Having People Think That You Feel Things Much Deeper Than You're Allowed To Say, But This Isn't True. If You Want To Find Out What A Writer Or A Cartoonist Really Feels, Look At His Work. That's Enough.

So What If Nobody Came? I’ll Have All The Ice Cream And Tea, And I’ll Laugh With Myself, And I’ll Dance With Myself, And I’ll Sing, “happy Birthday To Me!

I Would Hope That People, No Matter What Age, Would Find Something To Identify With In My Books, Pick One Up And Experience A Personal Sense Of Discovery. That's Great. But For Them, Not For Me.

How Much Good Inside A Day? Depends How Good You Live 'em.

I Am Writing These Poems From Inside A Lion.

The Voice There Is A Voice Inside Of You That Whispers All Day Long, "i Feel This Is Right For Me, I Know That This Is Wrong." No Teacher, Preacher, Parent, Friend Or Wise Man Can Decide What's Right For You--just Listen To The Voice That Speaks Inside.

This Boat That We Just Built Is Just Fine - And Don't Try To Tell Us It's Not The Sides And The Back Are Divine - It's The Bottom I Guess We Forgot

I Know A Way To Stay Friends Forever, There's Really Nothing To It, I Tell You What To Do, And You Do It.

And The Tree Was Happy

The Hens They All Cackle, The Roosters All Beg, But I Will Not Hatch, I Will Not Hatch. For I Hear All The Talk Of Pollution And War As The People All Shout And The Airplane Roar, So I'm Staying In Here Where It's Safe And It's Warm, And I Will Not Hatch!

I Asked The Zebra, Are You Black With White Stripes? Or White With Black Stripes? And The Zebra Asked Me, Are You Good With Bad Habits? Or Are You Bad With Good Habits?

Ricky Was "l" But He's Home With The Flu, Lizzie, Our "o," Had Some Homework To Do, Mitchell, "e" Prob'ly Got Lost On The Way, So I'm All Of The Love That Could Make It Today.

I Was So Lucky That I Didn't Have Anyone To Copy, Be Impressed By. I Had Developed My Own Style, I Was Creating Before I Knew There Was A Thurber, A Benchley, A Price And A Steinberg. I Never Saw Their Work Until I Was Around Thirty.

Come, Boy, Sit Down. Sit Down And Rest." And The Boy Did. And The Tree Was Happy.

Listen To The Voice That Speaks Inside

Somebody Has To Go Polish The Stars, They're Looking A Little Bit Dull. Somebody Has To Go Polish The Stars, For The Eagles And Starlings And Gulls Have All Been Complaining They're Tarnished And Worn, They Say They Want New Ones We Cannot Afford. So Please Get Your Rags And Your Polishing Jars, Somebody Has To Go Polish The Stars.

When The Light Turns Green, You Go. When The Light Turns Red, You Stop. But What Do You Do When The Light Turns Blue With Orange And Lavender Spots?

Pirate Dreams Needles And Pins, Needles And Pins, Sew Me A Sail To Catch Me The Wind. Sew Me A Sail Strong As The Gale, Carpenter, Bring Out Your Hammers And Nails. Hammers And Nails, Hammers And Nails, Build Me A Boat To Go Chasing The Whales. Chasing The Whales, Sailing The Blue Find Me A Captain And Sign Me A Crew. Captain And Crew, Captain And Crew, Take Me, Oh Take Me To Anywhere New.

It's All The Same To The Clam.

Once There Was A Tree, And She Loved A Little Boy.

If You Are A Dreamer Come In If You Are A Dreamer A Wisher A Liar A Hoper A Pray-er A Magic-bean-buyer If Youre A Pretender Com Sit By My Fire For We Have Some Flax Golden Tales To Spin Come In! Come In!

I Believe That If You Don't Want To Do Anything, Then Sit There And Don't Do It, But Don't Expect People To Hand You A Corn Beef Sandwich And Wash Your Socks For You And Unzip Your Fly For You.

Why Can't You See I'm A Kid', Said The Kid. Why Try To Make Me Like You? Why Are You Hurt When I Don't Cuddle? Why Do You Sigh When I Splash Through A Puddle? Why Do You Scream When I Do What I Did? Im A Kid.

Talked My Head Off Worked My Tail Off Cried My Eyes Out Walked My Feet Off Sang My Heat Out So You See, There's Really Not Much Left Of Me.

God Says To Me With A Kind Of Smile, "hey How Would You Like To Be God Awhile And Steer The World?" . . . . "how Much Do I Get? What Time Is Lunch?" . . . . "gimme Back That Wheel," Says God. "i Don't Think You're Quite Ready Yet."

Thanksgiving Dinner's Sad And Thankless. Christmas Dinner's Dark And Blue. When You Stop And Try To See It From The Turkey's Point Of View.

Don’t Know Where He’s Going But Sees Where He’s Been.

Early Bird Oh, If You’re A Bird, Be An Early Bird And Catch The Worm For Your Breakfast Plate. If You’re A Bird, Be An Early Bird— But If You’re A Worm, Sleep Late.

A Spider Lives Inside My Head Who Weaves A Strange And Wondrous Web Of Silken Threads And Silver Strings To Catch All Sorts Of Flying Things, Like Crumbs Of Thoughts And Bits Of Smiles And Specks Of Dried-up Tears, And Dust Of Dreams That Catch And Cling For Years And Years And Years...

Oh The Thumb-sucker's Thumb May Look Wrinkled And Wet And Withered, And White As The Snow, But The Taste Of A Thumb Is The Sweetest Taste Yet (as Only We Thumb-sucker's Know).

We're All Worth The Same When We Turn Off The Light.

I Tried On The Farmer's Hat, Didn't Fit. . . A Little Too Small - Just A Bit Too Floppy. . . . . I Tried On The Summer Sun, Felt Good. Nice And Warm - Knew It Would. Tried The Grass Beneath Bare Feet, Felt Neat. Finally, Finally Felt Well Dressed, Nature's Clothes Fit Me Best.

I Will Not Play At Tug O' War, I'd Rather Play At Hug O' War

The Yesees Said Yes To Anything That Anyone Suggested. The Noees Said No To Everything Unless It Was Proven And Tested. So The Yesees All Died Of Much Too Much And The Noees All Died Of Fright, But Somehow I Think The Thinkforyourselfees All Came Out All Right.

Invisible Boy And Here We See The Invisible Boy In His Lovely Invisible House, Feeding A Piece Of Invisible Cheese To A Little Invisible Mouse. Oh, What A Beautiful Picture To See! Will You Draw An Invisible Picture For Me?

It's Amazing The Difference A Bit Of Sky Can Make.

I Said, "i'll Take The T-bone Steak." A Soft Voice Mooed, "oh Wow." And I Looked Up And Realized The Waitress Was A Cow. I Cried, "mistake--forget The The Steak. I'll Take The Chicken Then." I Heard A Cluck--'twas Just My Luck The Busboy Was A Hen. I Said, "okay No, Fowl Today. I'll Have The Seafood Dish." Then I Saw Through The Kitchen Door The Cook--he Was A Fish. I Screamed, "is There Anyone Workin' Here Who's An Onion Or A Beet? No? Your're Sure? Okay Then Friends, A Salad's What I'll Eat." They Looked At Me. "oh,no," They Said, "the Owner Is A Cabbage Head.

Since My Fried Left Me,i've Got Nothing To Do But Walking.i Walk To Forget.i Walk,i Escape,i Get Further.my Friend Will Not Come Back,now I Am A Marathon Man.

If The Track Is Tough And The Hill Is Rough, Thinking You Can Just Ain't Enough!

Magic Sandra’s Seen A Leprechaun, Eddie Touched A Troll, Laurie Danced With Witches Once, Charlie Found Some Goblins Gold. Donald Heard A Mermaid Sing, Susy Spied An Elf, But All The Magic I Have Known I've Had To Make Myself.

There's A Polar Bear In Our Frigidaire-- He Likes It 'cause It's Cold In There. With His Seat In The Meat And His Face In The Fish And His Big Hairy Paws In The Buttery Dish, He's Nibbling The Noodles, And Munching The Rice, He's Slurping The Soda, He's Licking The Ice. And He Lets Out A Roar If You Open The Door. And It Gives Me A Scare To Know He's In There-- That Polary Bear In Our Fridgitydaire.

There Is A Place Where The Sidewalk Ends.

No Teacher, Preacher, Parent, Friend, Or Wise Man Can Decide What's Right For You.

If You Want To Find Out What A Writer Or A Cartoonist Really Feels, Look At His Work. That's Enough.

Stand-up Comics Reflect Less Of A Visual Humor And More Of A Commentary.

Underneath My Outside Face There's A Face That None Can See. A Little Less Smiley, A Little Less Sure, But A Whole Lot More Like Me.

Knock! Knock! Who's There? Me! Me Who? That's Right? What's Right? Meehoo! That's What I Want To Know! What's What You Want To Know? Me Who? Yes, Exactly! Exactly What? Yes, I Have Exactlywatt On A Chain! Exactly What On A Chain? Yes! Yes What? No, Exactlywatt! That's What I Want To Know! I Told You-exactlywatt! Exactly What? Yes! Yes What? Yes It's With Me. What's With You? Exactlywatt-that's What With Me. Me Who? Yes! Go Away! Knock Knock...

Runny's Nicpic One Day Runny Babbit Met Little Franny Fog. He Said, "let's Have A Nicpic Down By The Lollow Hog." He Brought Some Cutter Bookies, Some Teanuts And Some Pea. And What Did Franny Fog Bring? Her Whole Fog Framily.

Sometimes I Get So Depressed 'bout What I Haven't Done. -never

Beware Of Being The Roller / When There's Nothing Left To Roll

You'd Better Get Your Laugh While You're Making Your Point, Or You Won't Be Doing It Very Long.

To Me, Freedom Entitles You To Do Something, Not To Not Do Something.

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