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I Am Totally Convinced That Most Grown-ups Have Completely Forgotten What Is It Like To Be A Child Between The Ages Of Five And Then... I Can Remember Exactly What It Was Like. I Am Certain I Can.

-Roald Dahl

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I Am Totally Convinced

Roald Dahl

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I Am Totally Convinced That Most Grown-ups Have Completely Forgotten What Is It Like To Be A Child Between The Ages Of Five And Then... I Can Remember Exactly What It Was Like. I Am Certain I Can.

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Kindness - That Simple Word. To Be Kind - It Covers Everything, To My Mind. If You're Kind That's It.

All The Reading She Had Done Had Given Her A View Of Life That They Had Never Seen.

The Writer Has To Force Himself To Work. He Has To Make His Own Hours And If He Doesn't Go To His Desk At All There Is Nobody To Scold Him.

I'd Rather Be Fried Alive And Eaten By Mexicans.

When I First Thought About Writing The Book Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, I Never Originally Meant To Have Children In It At All!

The Fine Line Between Roaring With Laughter And Crying Because It's A Disaster Is A Very, Very Fine Line. You See A Chap Slip On A Banana Skin In The Street And You Roar With Laughter When He Falls Slap On His Backside. If In Doing So You Suddenly See He's Broken A Leg, You Very Quickly Stop Laughing And It's Not A Joke Anymore.

There Are Many Other Little Refinements Too, Mr. Bohlen. You'll See Them All When You Study The Plans Carefully. For Example, There's A Trick That Nearly Every Writer Uses, Of Inserting At Least One Long, Obscure Word Into Each Story. This Makes The Reader Think That The Man Is Very Wise And Clever. So I Have The Machine Do The Same Thing. There'll Be A Whole Stack Of Long Words Stored Away Just For This Purpose." Where?" In The 'word-memory' Section," He Said, Epexegetically.

Nowadays You Can Go Anywhere In The World In A Few Hours, And Nothing Is Fabulous Any More.

Candy Is Dandy But Liqueur Is Quicker.

If You Have Good Thoughts They Will Shine Out Of Your Face Like Sunbeams And You Will Always Look Lovely.

Fairy Tales Have Always Got To Have Something A Bit Scary For Children - As Long As You Make Them Laugh As Well.

It's A Funny Thing About Mothers And Fathers. Even When Their Own Child Is The Most Disgusting Little Blister You Could Ever Imagine, They Still Think That He Or She Is Wonderful.

I Do Have A Blurred Memory Of Sitting On The Stairs And Trying Over And Over Again To Tie One Of My Shoelaces, But That Is All That Comes Back To Me Of School Itself.

I'm Wondering What To Read Next.

You Seemed So Far Away," Miss Honey Whispered, Awestruck. "oh, I Was. I Was Flying Past The Stars On Silver Wings," Matilda Said. "it Was Wonderful.

When I Walked To School In The Mornings I Would Start Out Alone But Would Pick Up Four Other Boys Along The Way. We Would Set Out Together After School Across The Village Green.

I Think Probably Kindness Is My Number One Attribute In A Human Being. I'll Put It Before Any Of The Things Like Courage Or Bravery Or Generosity Or Anything Else.

I Was Glad My Father Was An Eye-smiler. It Meant He Never Gave Me A Fake Smile, Because It's Impossible To Make Your Eyes Twinkle If You Aren't Feeling Twinkly Yourself. A Mouth-smile Is Different. You Can Fake A Mouth-smile Any Time You Want, Simply By Moving Your Lips. I've Also Learned That A Real Mouth-smile Always Has An Eye-smile To Go With It, So Watch Out, I Say, When Someone Smiles At You With His Mouth But The Eyes Stay The Same. It's Sure To Be Bogus.

I Don't Care If A Reader Hates One Of My Stories, Just As Long As He Finishes The Book.

Do You Like Vegetables?" Sophie Asked, Hoping To Steer The Conversation Towards A Slightly Less Dangerous Kind Of Food. "you Is Trying To Change The Subject," The Giant Said Sternly. "we Is Having An Interesting Babblement About The Taste Of The Human Bean. The Human Bean Is Not A Vegetable.

Now That I Am Alone, I Don't Have To Hide It; I Don't Have To Hide Anything Any Longer. I Can Let My Face Go Because No One Can See Me; Because There's Twenty-one Thousand Feet Between Me And Them... No, I Don't Have To Press My Teeth Together Or Tighten The Muscles Of My Jaw.

You Mean You Live Down Here?' Matilda Asked. 'i Do', Miss Honey Replied, But She Said No More. Matilda Had Never Once Stopped To Think About Where Miss Honey Might Be Living. She Had Always Regarded Her Purely As A Teacher, A Person Who Turned Up Out Of Nowhere And Taught At School And Then Went Away Again.

And Don’t Worry About The Bits You Can’t Understand. Sit Back And Allow The Words To Wash Around You, Like Music.

Pain Was Something We Were Expected To Endure. But I Doubt Very Much If You Would Be Entirely Happy Today If A Doctor Threw A Towel In Your Face And Jumped On You With A Knife.

There Is No Life I Know To Compare With Pure Imagination. Living There, You'll Be Free If You Truly Wish To Be.

I Understand What You're Saying, And Your Comments Are Valuable, But I'm Gonna Ignore Your Advice.

I Shall Never Have A Bath Again," I Said. "just Dont Have One Too Often," My Grandmother Said. "once A Month Is Quite Enough For A Sensible Child." It Was At Times Like These That I Loved My Grandmother More Than Ever.

Times Like These

When Writing About Oneself, One Must Strive To Be Truthful. Truth Is More Important Than Modesty.

I Was Observing Her Closely As I Talked, And After A While I Began To Get The Impression That She Was Not, In Fact, Quite So Merry And Smiling A Girl As I Had Been Led To Believe At First. She Seemed To Be Coiled In Herself, As Though With A Secret She Was Jealously Guarding. The Deep-blue Eyes Moved Too Quickly About The Room, Never Settling Or Resting On One Thing For More Than A Moment; And Over All Her Face, Though So Faint That They Might Not Even Have Been There, Those Small Downward Lines Of Sorrow.

A Life Is Made Up Of A Great Number Of Small Incidents, And A Small Number Of Great Ones.

We Is In Dream Country,' The Bfg Said. 'this Is Where All Dreams Is Beginning.

I Like Enthusiasts Of Any Kind.

And Above All, Watch With Glittering Eyes The Whole World Around You Because The Greatest Secrets Are Always Hidden In The Most Unlikely Places. Those Who Don't Believe In Magic Will Never Find It.

The Bristol Channel Was Always My Guide, And I Was Always Able To Draw An Imaginary Line From My Bed To Our House Over In Wales. It Was A Great Comfort.

Prayers Were Held In Assembly Hall. We All Perched In Rows On Wooden Benches While Teachers Sat Up On The Platform In Armchairs, Facing Us.

Those Who Don't Believe In Magic Will Never Find It.

I Therefore Invite You All," Mr Fox Went On, 'to Stay Here With Me For Ever.' For Ever!' They Cried. 'my Goodness! How Marvellous!' And Rabbit Said To Mrs Rabbit, 'my Dear, Just Think! We're Never Going To Be Shot Again In Our Lives!' We Will Make,' Said Mr Fox, 'a Little Underground Village, With Streets And Houses On Each Side - Seperate Houses For Badgers And Moles And Rabbits And Weasels And Foxes. And Every Day I Will Go Shopping For You All. And Every Day We Will Eat Like Kings.' The Cheering That Followed This Speech Went On For Many Minutes.

What A Fortunate Fellow I Am, I Kept Telling Myself. Nobody Has Ever Had Such A Lovely Time As This!

I Have A Passion For Teaching Kids To Become Readers, To Become Comfortable With A Book, Not Daunted. Books Shouldn't Be Daunting, They Should Be Funny, Exciting And Wonderful; And Learning To Be A Reader Gives A Terrific Advantage.

There Is Something About Very Cold Weather That Gives One An Enormous Appetite. Most Of Us Find Ourselves Beginning To Crave Rich Steaming Stews And Hot Apple Pies And All Kinds Of Delicious Warming Dishes; And Because We Are All A Great Deal Luckier Than We Realize, We Usually Get What We Want—or Near Enough.

Though My Father Was Norwegian, He Always Wrote His Diaries In Perfect English.

Poor Earthworm,' The Ladybird Said, Whispering In James's Ear. 'he Loves To Make Everything Into A Disaster. He Hates To Be Happy. He Is Only Happy When He Is Gloomy.

My Darling," She Said At Last, Are You Sure You Don't Mind Being A Mouse For The Rest Of Your Life?" "i Don't Mind At All" I Said. It Doesn't Matter Who You Are Or What You Look Like As Long As Somebody Loves You.

The Little Pig Began To Pray But Wolfie Blew His House Away. He Shouted, "bacon, Pork, And Ham! Oh What A Lucky Wolf I Am!" And Though He Ate The Pig Quite Fast, He Carefully Kept The Tail Till Last.

I Regard Each Sentence As A Little Wheel... Now And Again I Try To Put A Really Big One Next To A Very Small One In Such A Way That The Big One, Turning Slowly, Will Make The Small One Spin So Fast That It Hums. Very Tricky, That.

The Witching Hour, Somebody Had Once Whispered To Her, Was A Special Moment In The Middle Of The Night When Every Child And Every Grown-up Was In A Deep Deep Sleep, And All The Dark Things Came Out From Hiding And Had The World All To Themselves.

You Can Write About Anything For Children As Long As You've Got Humour.

It's Impossible To Make Your Eyes Twinkle If You Aren't Feeling Twinkly Yourself

By The Time I Am Nearing The End Of A Story, The First Part Will Have Been Reread And Altered And Corrected At Least One Hundred And Fifty Times. I Am Suspicious Of Both Facility And Speed. Good Writing Is Essentially Rewriting. I Am Positive Of This.

If I Had My Way, I'd Remove January From The Calendar Altogether And Have An Extra July Instead.

A Person Who Has Good Thoughts Cannot Ever Be Ugly. You Can Have A Wonky Nose And A Crooked Mouth And A Double Chin And Stick-out Teeth, But If You Have Good Thoughts They Will Shine Out Of Your Face Like Sunbeams And You Will Always Look Lovely.

When I Was 2, We Moved Into An Imposing Country Mansion 8 Miles West Of Cardiff, Wales.

Somewhere Inside All Of Us Is The Power To Change The World.

Changing The World

Power To Change

I've Heard Tell That What You Imagine Sometimes Comes True. -grandpa Joe

When You're Writing A Book, It's Rather Like Going On A Very Long Walk, Across Valleys And Mountains And Things [...] The Highest Mountain On The Walk Is Obviously The End Of The Book, Because It's Got To Be The Best View Of All, When Everything Comes Together And You Can Look Back And See That Everything You've Done All Ties Up. But It's A Very, Very Long, Slow Process.

When You're Old Enough To Write A Book For Children, By Then You'll Have Become A Grown Up And Have Lost All Your Jokeyness. Unless You're An Undeveloped Adult And Still Have An Enormous Amount Of Childishness In You.

Of Course Not. You Can't Have A Family Hanging Over You Like A Bunch Of Old Dead Goats. No Offense.

Lalalalalalallalalallalalalal Have Nothing To Say

I Was A Fighter Pilot, Flying Hurricanes All Round The Mediterranean. I Flew In The Western Desert Of Libya, In Greece, In Syria, In Iraq And In Egypt.

Homesickness Is A Bit Like Seasickness. You Don't Know How Awful It Is Unti You Get It, And When You Do, It Hits You Right In The Top Of The Stomach And You Want To Die.

There Is No Place I Know That Compares To Pure Imagination.

All Through My School Life I Was Appalled By The Fact That Masters And Senior Boys Were Allowed Quite Literally To Wound Other Boys, And Sometimes Very Severely.

I Think I Have This Thing Where Everybody Has To Think I'm The Greatest.and If They Aren't Completely Knocked Out And Dazzled And Slightly Intimidated By Me, I Don't Feel Good About Myself.

I Am Totally Convinced That Most Grown-ups Have Completely Forgotten What Is It Like To Be A Child Between The Ages Of Five And Then... I Can Remember Exactly What It Was Like. I Am Certain I Can.

Do You Know What Breakfast Cereal Is Made Of? It's Made Of All Those Little Curly Wooden Shavings You Find In Pencil Sharpeners!

Mr. Twit Was A Twit. He Was Born A Twit. And, Now At The Age Of Sixty, He Was A Bigger Twit Than Ever.

The Alexander Technique Works... I Recommend It Enthusiastically To Anyone Who Has Neck Pains Or Back Pain.

You Should Never, Never Doubt Something That No One Is Sure Of.

You Ignorant Little Slug!" The Trunchbull Bellowed. "you Witless Weed! You Empty-headed Hamster! You Stupid Glob Of Glue!

The Cuss Am I? Are You Cussing With Me?

I'm Wondering What To Read Next." Matilda Said. "i've Finished All The Children's Books.

Me Is The Only One What Won't Be Gobbled Up Because Giants Is Never Eating Giants

When You're Writing, It's Rather Like Going On A Very Long Walk

I Think Probably Kindness Is My Number One Attribute In A Human Being. I'll Put It Before Any Of The Things Like Courage Or Bravery Or Generosity Or Anything Else. Brian Sibley: Or Brains Even? Oh Gosh, Yes, Brains Is One Of The Least. You Can Be A Lovely Person Without Brains, Absolutely Lovely. Kindness - That Simple Word. To Be Kind - It Covers Everything, To My Mind. If You're Kind That's It.

Life Is More Fun If You Play Games.

A Little Nonsense Now And Then Is Relished By The Wisest Men.

Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right.

The Books Transported Her Into New Worlds And Introduced Her To Amazing People Who Lived Exciting Lives. She Went On Olden-day Sailing Ships With Joseph Conrad. She Went To Africa With Ernest Hemingway And To India With Rudyard Kipling. She Travelled All Over The World While Sitting In Her Little Room In An English Village.

Meanings Is Not Important, Said The Bfg. I Cannot Be Right All The Time. Quite Often I Is Left Instead Of Right.

Hooray!" Said The Chief Of The Army. "let's Blow Everyone Up! Bang-bang! Bang-bang!

Obscurity Is Never A Virtue.

All You Do Is To Look / At A Page In This Book / Because That's Where We Always Will Be. / No Book Ever Ends / When It's Full Of Your Friends / The Giraffe And The Pelly And Me.

Well, First Of All," Said The Bfg, "human Beans Is Not Really Believing In Giants, Is They? Human Beans Is Not Thinking We Exist.

Never Mind About 1066 William The Conqueror, 1087 William The Second. Such Things Are Not Going To Affect One?s Life...but 1932 The Mars Bar And 1936 Maltesers And 1937 The Kit Kat - These Dates Are Milestones In History And Should Be Seared Into The Memory Of Every Child In The Country.

...there Are No Secrets Unless You Keep Them To Yourself, And This Was The Greatest Secret I Had Ever Had To Keep In My Life So Far.

The Greatest Secrets Are Always Hidden In The Most Unlikely Places.

I Shot Down Some German Planes And I Got Shot Down Myself, Crashing In A Burst Of Flames And Crawling Out, Getting Rescued By Brave Soldiers.

A Book?! What D'you Wanna Flaming Book For?...we've Got A Lovely Telly With A 12-inch Screen And Now Ya Wanna Book!

She Might Even Be Your Lovely School-teacher Who Is Reading These Words To You At This Very Moment. Look Carefully At That Teacher. Perhaps She Is Smiling At The Absurdity Of Such A Suggestion. Don't Let That Put You Off. It Could Be Part Of Cleverness. I Am Not, Of Course, Telling You For One Second That Your Teacher Actually Is A Witch. All I Am Saying Is That She Might Be One. It Is Most Unlikely. But--here Comes The Big "but"--not Impossible.

I Was Already Beginning To Realize That The Only Way To Conduct Oneself In A Situation Where Bombs Rained Down And Bullets Whizzed Past, Was To Accept The Dangers And All The Consequences As Calmly As Possible. Fretting And Sweating About It All Was Not Going To Help.

I Am Only 8 Years Old, I Told Myself. No Little Boy Of 8 Has Ever Murdered Anyone. It's Not Possible.

In Any Event, Parents Never Underestimated The Abilities Of Their Own Children. Quite The Reverse. Sometimes It Was Well Nigh Impossible For A Teacher To Convince The Proud Father Or Mother That Their Beloved Offspring Was A Complete Nitwit.

If You Are Good Life Is Good.

You Is Getting Nosier Than A Parker.

To Shipbrokers, Coal Was Black Gold.

I Doubt I Would Have Written A Line ... Unless Some Minor Tragedy Had Sort Of Twisted My Mind Out Of The Normal Rut.

A Writer Of Fiction Lives In Fear. Each New Day Demands New Ideas And He Can Never Be Sure Whether He Is Going To Come Up With Them Or Not.

The Secret Of Life', He Said, 'is To Become Very Very Good At Somethin' That's Very Very 'ard To Do.

No Book Ever Ends, When It's Full Of Your Friends.

It Doesn't Matter Who You Are Or What You Look Like, So Long As Somebody Loves You.

Then Suddenly, He Was Struck By A Powerful But Simple Little Truth, And It Was This: That English Grammar Is Governed By Rules That Are Almost Mathematical In Their Strictness!

English Grammar

Two Hours Of Writing Fiction Leaves This Writer Completely Drained. For Those Two Hours He Has Been In A Different Place With Totally Different People.

We All Have Our Moments Of Brilliance And Glory, And This Was Mine.

Pear Drops Were Exciting Because They Had A Dangerous Taste. All Of Us Were Warned Against Eating Them, And The Result Was That We Ate Them More Than Ever.

Both Matilda And Lavender Were Enthralled. It Was Quite Clear To Them That They Were At This Moment Standing In The Presence Of A Master. Here Was Somebody Who Had Brought The Art Of Skulduggery To The Highest Point Of Perfection, Somebody, Moreover, Who Was Willing To Risk Life And Limb In Pursuit Of Her Calling. They Gazed In Wonder At This Goddess, And Suddenly Even The Boil On Her Nose Was No Longer A Blemish But A Badge Of Courage.

If I Were A Headmaster, I Would Get Rid Of The History Teacher And Get A Chocolate Teacher Instead And My Pupils Would Study A Subject That Affected All Of Them.

Sex Is Like Nose Picking. It's Fine As Long As You Practice It Yourself, But It's Disgusting Watching Someone Else Doing It.

Good Writing Is Essentially Rewriting.

The Writer Walks Out Of His Workroom In A Daze. He Wants A Drink. He Needs It. It Happens To Be A Fact That Nearly Every Writer Of Fiction In The World Drinks More Whisky Than Is Good For Him. He Does It To Give Himself Faith Hope And Courage. A Person Is A Fool To Become A Writer. His Only Compensation Is Absolute Freedom. He Has No Master Except His Own Soul And That I Am Sure Is Why He Does It.

So Matilda’s Strong Young Mind Continued To Grow, Nurtured By The Voices Of All Those Authors Who Had Sent Their Books Out Into The World Like Ships On The Sea. These Books Gave Matilda A Hopeful And Comforting Message: You Are Not Alone.

If My Books Can Help Children Become Readers Then I Feel I Have Accomplished Something Important.

He Turned And Reached Behind Him For The Chocolate Bar, Then He Turned Back Again And Handed It To Charlie. Charlie Grabbed It And Quickly Tore Off The Wrapper And Took An Enormous Bite. Then He Took Another…and Another…and Oh, The Joy Of Being Able To Cram Large Pieces Of Something Sweet And Solid Into One's Mouth! The Sheer Blissful Joy Of Being Able To Fill One's Mouth With Rich Solid Food! 'you Look Like You Wanted That One, Sonny,' The Shopkeeper Said Pleasantly. Charlie Nodded, His Mouth Bulging With Chocolate.

The Reason I Collect Good Ideas Is Because Plots Themselves Are Very Difficult Indeed To Come By.

So, Please, Oh Please, We Beg, We Pray, Go Throw Your Tv Set Away, And In Its Place You Can Install, A Lovely Bookcase On The Wall.

Books Shouldn't Be Daunting, They Should Be Funny, Exciting And Wonderful.

Some Children Are Spoiled And It Is Not Their Fault, It Is Their Parents.

I Have Found It Impossible To Talk To Anyone About My Problems. I Couldn't Face The Embarrassment, And Anyway I Lack The Courage. Any Courage I Had Was Knocked Out Of Me When I Was Young. But Now, All Of Sudden I Have A Sort Of Desperate Wish To Tell Everything To Somebody.

The Writer Walks Out Of His Workroom In A Daze. He Wants A Drink. He Needs It.

For Me, The Pleasure Of Writing Comes With Inventing Stories.

The More Risks You Allow Your Children To Make, The Better They Learn To Look After Themselves.

You Chose Books, I Chose Looks . Now See The Difference?

Whipped Cream Isn't Whipped Cream At All If It Hasnt Been Whipped With Whips, Just Like Poached Eggs Isn't Poached Eggs Unless It's Been Stolen In The Dead Of The Night.

You'll Never Get Anywhere If You Go About What-iffing Like That.

The Snozberries Taste Like Snozberries!

A Whizzpopper!" Cried The Bfg, Beaming At Her. "us Giants Is Making Whizzpoppers All The Time! Whizzpopping Is A Sign Of Happiness. It Is Music In Our Ears! You Surely Is Not Telling Me That A Little Whizzpopping If Forbidden Among Human Beans?

Eschew All Those Beastly Adjectives.

Wonka: But, Charlie, Don't Forget What Happened To The Man Who Suddenly Got Everything He Always Wanted. Charlie: What Happened? Wonka: He Lived Happily Ever After.

If The Good Lord Intended For Us To Walk, He Wouldn't Have Invented Rollar Skates.

A Girl Should Think About Making Herself Look Attractive So She Can Get A Good Husband Later On. Looks Is More Important Than Books, Miss Hunky..." "the Name Is Honey," Miss Honey Said. "now Look At Me," Mrs Wormwood Said. "then Look At You. You Chose Books. I Chose Looks.

I'm Right And You're Wrong, I'm Big And You're Small, And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.

Rainbow Drops - Suck Them And You Can Spit In Six Different Colours.

Some People When They Have Taken Too Much And Have Been Driven Beyond The Point Of Endurance, Simply Crumble And Give Up. There Are Others, Though They Are Not Many, Who Will For Some Reason Always Be Unconquerable. You Meet Them In Time Of War And Also In Time Of Peace. They Have An Indomitable Spirit And Nothing, Neither Pain Nor Torture Nor Threat Of Death, Will Cause Them To Give Up.

Of Course They're Real People. They're Oompa-loompas...imported Direct From Loompaland...and Oh What A Terrible Country It Is! Nothing But Thick Jungles Infested By The Most Dangerous Beasts In The World - Hornswogglers And Snozzwangers And Those Terrible Wicked Whangdoodles. A Whangdoodle Would Eat Ten Oompa-loompas For Breakfast And Come Galloping Back For A Second Helping.

Bunkum And Tummyrot! You'll Never Get Anywhere If You Go About What-iffing Like That. Would Columbus Have Discovered America If He'd Said 'what If I Sink On The Way Over? What If I Meet Pirates? What If I Never Come Back?' He Wouldn't Even Have Started.

I Go Down To My Little Hut, Where It's Tight And Dark And Warm, And Within Minutes I Can Go Back To Being Six Or Seven Or Eight Again.

Watch With Glittering Eyes The Whole World Around You.

Magic In The World

Having Power Is Not Nearly As Important As What You Choose To Do With It.

Well Not Exactly," The Father Said."nobody Could Do That. But It Didn't Take Me Long.

Two Rights Don't Equal A Left.

All Norwegian Children Learn To Swim When They Are Very Young Because If You Can't Swim It Is Difficult To Find A Place To Bathe.

A Little Magic Can Take You A Long Way.

Grown Ups Are Complicated Creatures, Full Of Quirks And Secrets.

If A Person Has Ugly Thoughts, It Begins To Show On The Face. And When That Person Has Ugly Thoughts Every Day, Every Week, Every Year, The Face Gets Uglier And Uglier Until You Can Hardly Bear To Look At It.

I've Always Said To Myself That If A Little Pocket Calculator Can Do It Why Shouldn't I?

Believe In Yourself

I Began To Realize How Important It Was To Be An Enthusiast In Life. He Taught Me That If You Are Interested In Something, No Matter What It Is, Go At It At Full Speed Ahead. Embrace It With Both Arms, Hug It, Love It And Above All Become Passionate About It. Lukewarm Is No Good. Hot Is No Good Either. White Hot And Passionate Is The Only Thing To Be

Titchy Little Snapperwhippers Like You Should Not Be Higgling Around With An Old Sage And Onions Who Is Hundreds Of Years More Than You.

Good Authour Good Books

There's Nothin' You Can Get From A Book That You Can't Get From A Television Fastah!" -harry Wormwood

A Person Is A Fool To Become A Writer. His Only Compensation Is Absolute Freedom.

Matilda Said, "never Do Anything By Halves If You Want To Get Away With It. Be Outrageous. Go The Whole Hog. Make Sure Everything You Do Is So Completely Crazy It's Unbelievable.

My Father Was A Norwegian Who Came From A Small Town Near Oslo. He Broke His Arm At The Elbow When He Was 14, And They Amputated It.

But There Was One Other Thing That The Grown-ups Also Knew, And It Was This: That However Small The Chance Might Be Of Striking Lucky, The Chance Is There. The Chance Had To Be There.

But It Is Impossible To Replace A Person One Has Loved To Distraction.

Had I Not Had Children Of My Own, I Would Have Never Written Books For Children, Nor Would I Have Been Capable Of Doing So.

We Make Realities Out Of Our Dreams And Dreams Out Of Our Realities. We Are The Dreamers Of The Dream.

It Is Most Unlikely. But--here Comes The Big "but"--not Impossible.

I Never Get Any Protests From Children. All You Get Are Giggles Of Mirth And Squirms Of Delight. I Know What Children Like.

Here It Is,' Nigel Said. Mrs D, Mrs I, Mrs Ffi, Mrs C, Mrs U, Mrs Lty. That Spells Difficulty.' How Perfectly Ridiculous!' Snorted Miss Trunchbull. 'why Are All These Women Married?

A Message To Children Who Have Read This Book - When You Grow Up And Have Children Of Your Own, Do Please Remember Something Important: A Stodgy Parent Is No Fun At All. What A Child Wants And Deserves Is A Parent Who Is Sparky.

The Prime Function Of The Children's Book Writer Is To Write A Book That Is So Absorbing, Exciting, Funny, Fast And Beautiful That The Child Will Fall In Love With It. And That First Love Affair Between The Young Child And The Young Book Will Lead Hopefully To Other Loves For Other Books And When That Happens The Battle Is Probably Won. The Child Will Have Found A Crock Of Gold. He Will Also Have Gained Something That Will Help To Carry Him Most Marvelously Through The Tangles Of His Later Years. Roald Dahl

Falling In Love

Nobody Gets A Nervous Breakdown Or A Heart Attack From Selling Kerosene To Gentle Country Folk From The Back Of A Tanker In Somerset.

Give Us Strength, Oh Lord, To Let Our Children Starve.

I Began To Realize How Simple Life Could Be If One Had A Regular Routine To Follow With Fixed Hours, A Fixed Salary, And Very Little Original Thinking To Do.

Writing Is Mainly Perspiration, Not Inspiration.

(television) Rots The Senses In The Head! It Kills Imagination Dead! It Clogs And Clutters Up The Mind! It Makes A Child So Dull And Blind He Can No Longer Understand A Fantasy, A Fairyland! His Brain Becomes As Soft As Cheese! His Powers Of Thinking Rust And Freeze! He Cannot Think -he Only Sees!

It Is Preferable To Incur A Mild Punishment Than To Perform An Onerous Task.

... And When He Put His Mind To It, He Could Make His Words Coil Themselves Around And Around The Listener Until They Held Her In Some Sort Of A Mild Hypnotic Spell.

We Have So Much Time And So Little To Do. Strike That, Reverse It.

...the More Risks You Allow Children To Take, The Better They Learn To Take Care Of Themselves. If You Never Let Them Take Any Risks, Then I Believe They Become Very Prone To Injury. Boys Should Be Allowed To Climb Tall Trees And Walk Along The Tops Of High Walls And Dive Into The Sea From High Rocks... The Same With Girls. I Like The Type Of Child Who Takes Risks. Better By Far Than The One Who Never Does So.

Come Right Up Close To Me And I Will Show You Something Wonderful.

The Matter With Human Beans," The Bfg Went On, "is That They Is Absolutely Refusing To Believe In Anything Unless They Is Actually Seeing It Right In Front Of Their Own Schnozzles.

I Am The Maker Of Music, The Dreamer Of Dreams!

The Books Transported Her Into New Worlds And Introduced Her To Amazing People Who Lived Exciting Lives.

I Is Reading It Hundreds Of Times,' The Bfg Said. 'and I Is Still Reading It And Teaching New Words To Myself And How To Write Them. It Is The Most Scrumdiddlyumptious Story.' Sophie Took The Book Out Of His Hand. 'nicholas Nickleby,' She Read Aloud. 'by Dahl's Chickens,' The Bfg Said.

An Autobiography Is A Book A Person Writes About His Own Life And It Is Usually Full Of All Sorts Of Boring Details.

Careful Those Who Fight With Monsters, That They Might Become Monsters Themeselves.

I Am Suspicious Of Both Facility And Speed.

Words," He Said, "is Oh Such A Twitch-tickling Problem To Me All My Life.

If You Are Going To Get Anywhere In Life You Have To Read A Lot Of Books.

Don't Gobblefunk Around With Words.

I Want An Oompa-loompa!' Screamed Veruca.

A Person Who Has Good Thoughts Cannot Ever Be Ugly.

Positive Attitude

I Cannot For The Life Of Me Understand Why Small Children Take So Long To Grow Up. I Think They Do It Deliberately, Just To Annoy Me.

Perhaps It's Chasing Me. But I Don't Think It Will Ever Catch Me Because I Am Moving Fast.

Oh Where, Oh Where Had Snow White Gone? She'd Found It Easy, Being Pretty To Hitch A Ride Into The City.

The Maid Screamed. The Queen Gasped. Sophie Waved.

Unless You Have Been To Boarding-school When You Are Very Young, It Is Absolutely Impossible To Appreciate The Delights Of Living At Home.

The Walls Were Wet And Sticky, And Peach Juice Was Dripping From The Ceiling. James Opened His Mouth And Caught Some Of It On His Tongue. It Tasted Delicious.

My Dear Young Fellow,' The Old-green-grasshopper Said Gently, 'there Are A Whole Lot Of Things In This World Of Ours You Haven't Started Wondering About Yet.

Trying New Things

What I Mean And What I Say Is Two Different Things," The Bfg Announced Rather Grandly.

It Was Slowly Beginning To Dawn Upon Henry That Nothing Is Any Fun If You Can Get As Much Of It As You Want. Especially Money.

The Life Of A Writer Is Absolute Hell Compared To The Life Of A Businessman.

Fiona Has The Same Glacial Beauty Of An Iceburg, But Unlike The Iceburg She Has Absolutely Nothing Below The Surface.

Below The Surface

Absolutely Nothing

There Is A Trait In The Jewish Character That Does Provoke Animosity; Maybe It's A Kind Of Lack Of Generosity Towards Non-jews. I Mean There Is Always A Reason Why Anti-anything Crops Up Anywhere; Even A Stinker Like Hitler Didn't Just Pick On Them For No Reason.

I Asked My Mum, Who's A Very Clever Psychotherapist, And She Says That Kids Love Stories About Death; They Need It, They Need To Have Stories That Deal With Death And Explain It, As A Place To Put Their Fears.

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Joseph Campbell

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