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When You Care More If Someone Else Lives Than You Do About Yourself- Is That What [love Is]?
-Jodi Picoult
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When You Care More

Jodi Picoult
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When You Care More If Someone Else Lives Than You Do About Yourself- Is That What [love Is]?

Understanding the Quote: "when you care more if someone else lives than you do about..."

This quote by Jodi Picoult reflects deeply on the theme of first love. It connects to the universal human journey of purpose, motivation, and reflection. Often categorized under First Love, Love Is, Care, the quote offers insight, emotional clarity, and intellectual inspiration to readers worldwide.

Whether you’re a student exploring new ideas, a leader trying to motivate your team, or someone seeking direction in life — this quote provides value. It resonates because it’s more than words — it’s a bridge between experience and wisdom. It shows how Jodi Picoult interprets life's core challenges and triumphs.

Lessons From the Quote

This quote teaches resilience and focus. It reminds readers that no matter where they stand in life, reflection and self-awareness lead to growth. Each word has meaning, and when studied, it becomes clear how impactful thoughtful language can be.

About Jodi Picoult

Jodi Picoult is celebrated for insightful thoughts on first love and love is. Their legacy lives on through writings that guide, comfort, and inspire. Discover more on their profile page.

Actionable Takeaways

  • Reflect on how this quote applies to your current life path.
  • Share the message with someone who needs inspiration.
  • Write your thoughts on this quote in a journal or blog post.
  • Use it as a daily affirmation or reminder.

Closing Thoughts

Quotes like this endure because they capture universal truths. They comfort us in solitude and empower us in groups. Carry this quote forward — live by its wisdom, share its message, and keep its essence alive.

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Topic
First Love
Love Is
Care
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I Watch Her Do The Simplest Things: Brushing Her Hair Into A Ponytail, Feeding The Dog, Tying Sophie's Shoelaces, And I Want To Tell Her What She Means To Me, But I Never Actually Say The Words. After All, To Acknowledge Delia As A Drug, I'd Have To Face The Fact That One Day I Might Have To Go Without Her And This I Can't Do.
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Hell
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Thinking
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Beats
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People
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Trying
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Past
Forgiving
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How Do You Tell An Adult That Maybe Everything Wrong In The World Stems From The Fact That She's Stopped Believing The Impossible Can Happen?
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Children
Son
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Growing Up
Kids
Thinking
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Guy
Would Be
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Thinking
Someone You Love
Maybe You Expected Marriage To Be Perfect - I Guess That's Where You And I Are Different. See, I Thought It Would Be All About Making Mistakes, But Doing It With Someone Who's There To Remind You What You Learned Along The Way.
Mistake
Perfect
Different
Sometimes It Made Her Want To Put Her Fist Through Glass; Other Times, It Made Her Cry A River.
Loss
Glasses
Rivers
Three Months Ago, If You Asked Me, I Would Have Told You That If You Really Loved Someone, You’d Let Them Go. But Now I Look At You, And I Dreamed About Maggie, And I See That I’ve Been Wrong. If You Really Love Someone, Allie, I Think You Have To Take Them Back.
True Love
Thinking
Months
Believe Me, Being Gay Is Not A Choice. Noone Would Choose To Make Life Harder Than It Has To Be.
Believe
Gay
Choices
Life Sometimes Gets So Bogged Down In The Details, You Forget You Are Living It.
Details
Sometimes
Forget You
You Get Through It, You Just Never Get Over It
Over It
Get Over
Fiction Comes In All Shapes And Sizes. Secrets,lies,stories. We All Tell Them. Sometimes,because We Hope To Entertain. Sometimes,because We Need To Distract. And Sometimes, Because We Have To.
Lying
Secret
Needs
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Inspirational
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Heart
Promise
Together
I Understand Better Than She'd Imagine That History Is Indelible. You Can Mask It; You Can Patch It Smooth And Clear; But You Always Know What's Hidden Underneath.
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Drifting
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Hands
Dying
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Soul
Firsts
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Nice
Knowing
Fit
Logical Thinking Keeps You From Wasting Time Worrying, Or Hoping. It Prevents Disappointment. Imagination, On The Other Hand, Only Gets You Hyped Up Over Things That Will Never Realistically Happen.
Disappointment
Thinking
Hands
I Never Lose Sight Of The Fact That Before I Was A Writer, I Was A Teacher. I Still Am. My Classroom's Just Gotten A Little Bigger.
Teacher
Sight
Littles
Teachers Deserve Respect," I Explain. "why Do They Get It For Free, When Everyone Else Has To Earn It?
Teacher
Deserve
If You Want To Love A Parent You Have To Understand The Incredible Investment He Or She Has In You. If You Are A Parent, And You Want To Be Loved, You Have To Deserve It.
Parenting
Want
Incredibles
But It Was Like Wearing A Size Five Sneakers When Your Foot Is A Seven- You Can Get By For A Few Steps, And Then You Set Down And Pull Off The Shoes Because It Just Plain Much
Sneakers
Shoes
Feet
Normal, In Our House, Is Like A Blanket Too Short For A Bed--sometimes It Covers You Just Fine, And Other Times It Leaves You Cold And Shaking; And Worst Of All, You Never Know Which Of The Two It's Going To Be.
Two
House
Bed
All It Takes Is A Second And Your Whole Life Can Get Turned Upside Down.
Struggle
Upside Down
Whole Life
I Wish I Could Tell Him I Understand: The Higher You Raise Your Hopes, The Farther You Have To Fall.
Fall
Wish
Raises
It Felt Like I'd Been Living Underground, And For A Moment, I'd Been Given This Glimpse Of The Sky. Once You've Seen That, How Can You Go Back Where You Came From?
Sky
Glimpse
Moments
The Weapons An Author Has At Her Disposal Are Flawed. There Are Words That Feel Shapeless And Overused. Love, For Example. I Could Write The Word Love A Thousand Times And It Would Mean A Thousand Different Things To Different Readers.
Writing
Mean
Example
When You Don't Know Where You're Headed, You Find Places No One Else Would Ever Explore.
My Sisters Keeper
Knows
Sisters Keeper
There Is A Curious Thing That Happens With The Passage Of Time: A Calcification Of Character... Change Isn't Always For The Worst; The Shell That Forms Around A Piece Of Sand Looks To Some People Like An Irritation, And To Others, Like A Pearl.
Character
Irritation
People
You Would Wind Up As A Cat, I Told Her. They Don't Need Anyone Else. I Need You, She Replied. Well, I Said. Maybe I'll Come Back As Catnip.
Cat
Wind
Needs
All I Know Is That I Carried You For Nine Months. I Fed You, I Clothed You, I Paid For Your College Education. Friending Me On Facebook Seems Like A Small Thing To Ask In Return.
Mother Daughter
Mother And Daughter
Mom And Daughter
Everyone Still Deserves To Have Their Say.
Stills
Deserve
A Real Friend Isn't Capable Of Feeling Sorry For You.
Friendship
Sorry
Real
In Reality, You Don’t Ever Change The Hurricane. You Just Learn How To Stay Out Of Its Path.
Reality
Path
Hurricanes
You Can't Win. Either You Have The Baby And Wear Your Pain On The Outside, Or You Don't Have The Baby, And You Keep That Ache In You Forever
Baby
Pain
Winning
Life Was What Happened When All The What-ifs Didn't.
Happened
Ifs
What Is The Point Of Trying To Put Down On Paper Emotions That Are Too Complex, Too Huge, Too Overwhelming To Be Confined By An Alphabet? Love Isn't The Only Word That Fails. Hate Does, Too.
Hate
Trying
Doe
There Should Be A Statute Of Limitation On Grief. A Rulebook That Says It Is All Right To Wake Up Crying, But Only For A Month. That After 42 Days You Will No Longer Turn With Your Heart Racing, Certain You Have Heard Her Call Out Your Name. That There Will Be No Fine Imposed If You Feel The Need To Clean Out Her Desk; Take Down Her Artwork From The Refrigerator; Turn Over A School Portrait As You Pass - If Only Because It Cuts You Fresh Again To See It. That It's Okay To Measure The Time She Has Been Gone, The Way We Once Measured Her Birthdays.
Time
Grief
School
You Can't Exist In This World Without Leaving A Piece Of Yourself Behind.
Leaving
Pieces
World
Words Are Like Eggs Dropped From Great Heights; You Can No More Call Them Back Than Ignore The Mess They Leave When They Fall.
Fall
Eggs
Height
Part Of Growing Up Was Learning Not To Be Quite That Honest - Learning When It Was Better To Lie, Rather Than To Hurt Someone With The Truth.
Hurt
Growing Up
Lying
A Duck Walks Into A Bar And The Bartender Asks, What'll It Be? The Duck Doesn't Answer Because It's A Duck.
Ducks
Bars
Answers
Love Was That Way. You Could Not Render It In Black Or White. It Always Came Down To The Strange, Blended Shades Of Grey.
White
Black
Shade
I Used To Think I'd Be Just Like Them When I Grew Up, But I Am Not. And The Thing Is, Somewhere Along The Way, I Stopped Wanting To Be Like Them, Anyway.
Thinking
Way
Grew Up
It Doesn't Matter What It Is That Leaves A Hole Inside You. It Just Matters That It’s There.
Matter
Holes
She Had Never Been A Pretty Crier. She Sobbed The Way She Did Everything Else - With Passion And Excess.
Passion
Excess
Way
Music Therapy, To Me, Is Music Performance Without The Ego. It's Not About Entertainment As Much As Its About Empathizing. If You Can Use Music To Slip Past The Pain And Gather Insight Into The Workings Of Someone Else's Mind, You Can Begin To Fix A Problem.
Pain
Past
Ego
Heroes Didn't Leap Tall Buildings Or Stop Bullets With An Outstretched Hand; They Didn't Wear Boots And Capes. They Bled, And They Bruised, And Their Superpowers Were As Simple As Listening, Or Loving. Heroes Were Ordinary People Who Knew That Even If Their Own Lives Were Impossibly Knotted, They Could Untangle Someone Else's. And Maybe That One Act Could Lead Someone To Rescue You Right Back.
Hero
Simple
Hands
Wheather It Is Conscious Or Not, You Eventually Make The Decision To Divide Your Life In Half - Before And After - With Loss Being That Tight Bubble In The Middle. You Can Move Around In Spite Of It; You Can Laugh And Smile And Carry On With Your Life, But All It Takes Is One Slow Range Of Motion, A Doubling Over, To Be Fully Aware Of The Empty Space At Your Center.
Moving
Loss
Space
Honey, Kate Is Not Going To Die Sooner Because You Have One More Glass Of Mine, Or Because You Stay Overnight In A Hotel, Or Because You Let Yourself Crack Up At A Bad Joke. So Sit Your Ass Back Down And Turn Up The Volume And Act Like You're A Normal Person.
Glasses
Normal
Cracks
What She Hadn't Realized Was That Sometimes When Your Vision Was That Sharp And True, It Could Cut You. That Only If You'd Felt Such Fullness Could You Really Understand The Ache Of Being Empty.
Cutting
Vision
Sometimes
Just So You Know: If This Ever Happens To You, You Will Not Be Ready.
Ready
Happens
Knows
I Wondered About The Explorers Who'd Sailed Their Ships To The End Of The World. How Terrified They Must Have Been When They Risked Falling Over The Edge; How Amazed To Discover, Instead, Places They Had Seen Only In Their Dreams.
Dream
Fall
World
Every Year I Tell Myself That I’m Not Going To Read Any Reviews And Then I Do. We’re All Human And When I Read Something Negative It Hurts. I Think When You Write It’s Part Of The Game, You’re Going To Get Some Good Reviews And Some Bad Reviews And That’s How It Goes. I Don’t Write For The Reviews.
Hurt
Writing
Thinking
Nathaniel Closes His Eyes And Jumps, His Arms Glued To His Sides Like That Fly's. He Doesn't Try To Break His Fall, Just Hits Hard, Because It Hurts Less Than Everything Else.
Hurt
Fall
Eye
I Know What It's Like When The Things You Believe Make You Feel Like You're On The Outside Looking In.
Believe
Like You
Feels
The Ideas Choose Me, Not The Other Way Around.
Ideas
Way
Choose Me
I Have Never Fit Into This Town, This Marriage, This Skin. I Am The Child Who Was Picked Last To Play Tag; I Am The Girl Who Laughed Although She Did Not Get The Joke; I Am The Piecemeal Part Of You That You Pretend Doesn't Exist, Except It Is All I Am, All The Time.
Girl
Children
Play
I Think There Are Readers Out There And I Don't Think The Book Is Dead. And More Importantly I Don't Think Readers Have To Choose Between Literary And Commercial Fiction.
Book
Thinking
Fiction
The Truth Doesn't Always Set You Free; People Prefer To Believe Prettier, Neatley Wrapped Lies
Truth
Lying
Believe
The Best Thing About Endings Is Knowing That Just Ahead Is The Daunting Task To Start Over.
Knowing
Starting Over
Tasks
I Felt A Splinter Of Guilt Wedge Into My Heart. Charlotte Had Hurt Me; In Return, I'd Hurt Rob. Maybe That's What We Do To The People We Love: Take Shots In The Dark And Realize Too Late We've Wounded The People We're Trying To Protect.
Hurt
Heart
Dark
Summertime, I Think, Is A Collective Unconscious. We All Remember The Notes That Made Up The Song Of The Ice Cream Man; We All Know What It Feels Like To Brand Our Thighs On A Playground Slide That's Heated Up Like A Knife In A Fire; We All Have Lain On Our Backs With Our Eyes Closed And Our Hearts Beating Across The Surface Of Our Lids, Hoping That This Day Will Stretch Just A Little Longer Than The Last One, When In Fact It's All Going In The Other Direction.
Song
Heart
Eye
And Yet, You Never Knew Wwhat You Were Capable Of Until You Arrived At That Given Moment. Life Was Just A Whole String Of Spots Where You Continued To Surprise Yourself.
Surprise
Moments
Strings
It Still Hurts," She Whispered. "even When You're Doing It For Someone Else, That Doesn't Stop Your Ribs From Getting Cracked, Or Your Wrist Swelling, Or Your Cuts From Bleeding.
Hurt
Cutting
Ribs
I Don't Think We Get A Choice In Who We Fall For," Ian Whispers. "i Think We Just Do.
Fall
Thinking
Choices
It Takes Two People To Make A Lie Work: The Person Who Tells It, And The One Who Believes It.
Lying
Believe
Two
After All, Once You Know That Part Of Something Exists, It Stands To Reason That The Rest Of It Is Somewhere Out There, Too.
Reason
Somewhere Out There
Knows
If You Want To Know Someone's Story, They Have To Tell It Aloud. But Every Time, The Telling Is A Little But Different. It's New, Even To Me.
Littles
Different
Stories
[i] Don't Think I Was Trying To Kill Myself. I Just Wanted To Hurt, And Understand Exactly Whay I Was Hurting. This Made Sense: You Cut, You Felt Pain, Period.
Hurt
Pain
Cutting
And That Was The Greatest Heartbreak Of All- No Matter How Spectacular We Want Our Children To Be, No Matter How Perfect We Pretend They Are, They Are Bound To Disappoint. As It Turns Out, Kids Are More Like Us Than We Think: Damaged, Through And Through.
Children
Kids
Thinking
Think About It: Romeo And Juliet Bucked The System, And Look Where It Got Them. Superman Has The Hots For Lois Lane, When The Better Match, Of Course, Would Be With Wonder Woman.
Thinking
Would Be
Looks
The Saddest Day In The World Will Be The One When She Stops Pretending.
World
Pretending
Saddest
There Are Stars In The Night Sky That Look Brighter Than The Others, And When You Look At Them Through A Telescope You Realize You Are Looking At Twins. The Two Stars Rotate Around Each Other, Sometimes Taking Nearly A Hundred Years To Do It. They Create So Much Gravitational Pull There's No Room Around For Anything Else. You Might See A Blue Star, For Example, And Realize Only Later That It Has A White Dwarf As A Companion - That First One Shines So Bright, By The Time You Notice The Second One, It's Too Late.
Stars
Night
Dwarves
I'm Not Going To Tell A Person How To Think, Don't Believe In That. What I Want To Do, When I Write These Books, Is Just To Say Don't Be So Sure Of Yourself. Let Me Pull The Carpet Out From Underneath You, And Let's See If You Can Still Find The Footing.
Book
Believe
Writing
Do You Remember The Summer We Signed You Up For Camp? And The Night Before You Left, You Said You've Changed Your Mind And Wanted To Stay Home? I Told You To To Get A Seat On The Left Side Of The Bus, So When You Pulled Away, You'd Be Able To Look Back And See Me There Waiting For You." I Press Her Hand Against My Cheek, Hard Enough To Leave A Mark. "you Get That Same Seat In Heaven. One Where You Can Watch Me, Watching You.
Summer
Home
Night
Is It A Crime When You Love Someone So Much That You Can't Stand The Thought Of Them Changing? Is It A Crime When You Love Someone So Much That You Can't See Clearly?
When You Love Someone
Crime
Love Someone
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