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What You Want Can Be Yours. But You Must First Know What It Is You Want.

-Libba Bray

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What You Want Can

Libba Bray

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What You Want Can Be Yours. But You Must First Know What It Is You Want.

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Because There's Nothing Wrong With You... That Can't Be Fixed.

Murder Mysteries

There Are No Wrong Decisions ― Only Different Ones.

...i Do Have To Wonder What Sort Of Childhood The Grimm Brothers Endured. They Are Not A Merry Bunch Of Storytellers, What With Their Children Roasted By Witches, Maidens Poisoned By Old Crones, And Whatnot.

We've Barley Stepped Into The Bright Glow Of The Realms When Everything Goes Dark.

We All Do Things We Desperately Wish We Could Undo. Those Regrets Just Become Part Of Who We Are, Along With Everything Else. To Spend Time Trying To Change That, Well, It's Like Chasing Clouds.

Think: Who Has Vans, Huh? Soccer Moms And Serial Killers.

I'd Like To Thank Readers. Every Time You Open A Book, It Is A Strike Against Ignorance. Unless You're Reading Sarah Palin.

He Took Comfort In The Neon Signs, The Wild Strands Of Jazz Creeping Out Of Clubs Whenever Happy Swells Of People Pushed Through The Doors In Their Finery.

Free The Snow Globes!

If This Were A Movie, I Would Bust A Secret Move So Fierce The Entire Place Would Be Razed To The Ground. I'd Finish With Something Snappy Like "and Don't Forget My Soda, Punk" While I Strolled Off Into The Night.

This Is Going To Make Such A Great Story: How I Nursed A Pirate Back To Health And My Love Saved Him," Miss Ohio Said With A Contented Sigh. "and Then We Can Have Our Own Reality Show About Our Relationship." - "beauty Queens

It Is Funny How You Do Not Miss Affection Until It Is Given, But Once It Is, It Can Never Be Enough; You Would Drown In It If Possible.

You Want To Know What Pain Is? Try Running Out Of Advil When You've Got A Category Five Period. I've Had Cramps That Would Make Grown Men Beg For A Bullet Between The Eyes." - Jennifer, "beauty Queens

Gemma, You See How It Is. They've Planned Our Entire Lives, From What We Shall Wear To Whom We Shall Marry And Where We Shall Live. It's One Lump Of Sugar In Your Tea Whether You Like It Or Not And You'd Best Smile Even If You're Dying Deep Inside. We're Like Pretty Horses, And Just As On Horses, They Mean To Put Blinders On Us So We Can't Look Left Or Right But Only Straight Ahead Where They Would Lead. Please, Please, Please, Gemma, Let's Not Die Inside Before We Have To.

We've Left The Moment. It's Gone. We're Somewhere Else Now, And That's Okay. We've Still Got That Moment With Us Somewhere, Deep In Our Memory, Seeping Into Our Dna. And When Our Cells Get Scattered , Whenever That Happens, This Moment Will Still Exist In Them. Those Cells Might Be The Biulding Block Of Something New. A Planet Or Star Or A Sunflower, A Baby. Maybe Even A Cockroach. Who Knows? Whatever It Is, It'll Be A Part Of Us, This Thing Right Here And Now, And We'll Be A Part Of It.

My Misery Is Reaching Epidemic Proportions.

I'm Going To Eviscerate You And Leave Your Organs On A Pike In The Yard As A Warning To Those Who Wear Large Jewelry.

If God Has Nothing Better To Do Than Punish Schoolgirls For A Bit Of Tomfoolery, Then I've No Use For God.

Brought To You By The Corporation: In Your Homes And In Your Pants.

Chin Held High, Miss Ohio Beamed At An Imagined Crowd. "i Want To Be A Motivational Speaker." "what Are You Going To Motivate People To Do?" Smile Still In Place, She Cut Her Eyes At Adina. "you Know. Motivational ... Stuff.

...because Really, Sometimes The Irony Gods Just Get Drunk.

- So My Own Sister Will Not Promote Me? Speaking Of Which, Weren't You Supposed To Find Me A Beautiful Future Wife With A Small Fortune? Have You Had Any Success On That Front? - Yes - I Have Warned Them All.

You Have A Steady Fella?” Sam Asked After A Bit. “no Fella Can Hold Me For Long.” Sam Gave Her A Sideways Glance. “that A Challenge?” “no. A Statement Of Fact.

I Don't Think You Should Die Until You're Ready. Until You've Wrung Out Every Last Bit Of Living You Can.

I Must Remember To Forgive Myself. Because There's An Awful Lot Of Gray To Work With. No One Can Live In The Light All The Time."-a Great And Terrible Beauty

Why Do Girls Always Feel Like They Have To Apologize For Giving An Opinion Or Taking Up Space In The World? Have You Ever Noticed That?" Nicole Asked. "you Go On Websites And Some Girl Leaves A Post And If It's Longer Than Three Sentences Or She's Expressing Her Thoughts About Some Topic, She Usually Ends With, 'sorry For The Rant' Or 'that May Be Dumb, But That's What I Think.

I Have Done What They Expected Of Me. I Have Curtsied For My Queen And Made My Debut. This Is What I Have Anticipated Eagerly For Years. So Why Do I Feel So Unsatisfied? Everyone Is Merry. They Haven't A Care In The World. And Perhaps That Is It. How Terrible It Is To Have No Cares, No Longings. I Do Not Fit. I Feel Too Deeply And Want Too Much.

Really? And What Curse Befalls The Adams Of The World?" Ann Opens Her Mouth And, Presumably Thinking Of Nothing To Say, Closes It Again. It Is Felicity Who Answers, Eyes Steely. "they Are Weak To Temptation. And We Are Their Temptresses.

Women Who Have Power Are Always Feared.

Do Not Be Tempted By English Roses. Their Beauty Fades, But Their Thorns Are Forever.

Prohibition? I Drink To Its Health Whenever I Can.

A Place To Keep All Your Secrets

The Glow Dies Down, And She's Standing At The End Of My Bed--the One Who's Been Following Me Around Leaving Feather Messages. I Take In The Torn Fishnets, Plaid Mini-kilt, Shiny, Riveted Breastplate With Leather Straps At The Sides And A Worn Great Temolo Decal Near The Left Shoulder. Her Wings Are A Crazy Black-and-white-checkered Pattern, Like They've Been Spray-painted At A Body Shop To Look Like Hipster Sneakers.

Black And White

I Changed The World; The World Changed Me. Everything You Do Comes Back To You. When You Affect A Situation, You Are Also Affected.

You Set Fire To My House, Killed My Family, And Ate My Dog. But Steal My Boyfriend? That's A Step Too Far.

The World Expected Girls To Pluck And Primp And Put On Heels. Meanwhile, Boys Dressed In Rumpled T-shirts And Baggy Pants And Misplace Their Combs, And Yet You Were Suppose To Fall At Their Feet? Unacceptable.

Look, I Know This Seems A Little Half-assed...' 'no, Dude. I'd Be Thrilled If This Plan Were Half-assed. This Is, Like, No-assed.' 'you're Right. It's The Most No-assed Thing I've Ever Done In My Life.

In A World Like This One, Only The Random Makes Sense.

In A World Beyond This One, That River Goes On Singing Sweetly, Enchanting Us With What We Want To Hear, Shaping What We Need To See In Order To Keep Going. In Those Waters, All Disappointments Are Forgotten, Our Mistakes Forgiven. Gazing Into Them, We See A Strong Father. A Loving Mother. Warm Rooms Where We Are Sheltered, Adored, Wanted. And The Uncertainty Of Our Futures Is Nothing More Than The Fog Of Breath On A Windowpane.

Things Aren't Good Or Bad In And Of Themselves. It's What We Do With Them That Makes Them So.

I Am No Longer Content To Be The Scared, Obedient Schoolgirl. Who Are You, A Stranger, To Tell Me What I Can And Cannot Do?

There Is Never Any Turning Back Gemma. You Have To Go Forward. Make The Future Yours.

He Told Me That Once, In The War, He’d Come Upon A German Soldier In The Grass With His Insides Falling Out; He Was Just Lying There In Agony. The Soldier Had Looked Up At Sergeant Leonard, And Even Though They Didn’t Speak The Same Language, They Understood Each Other With Just A Look. The German Lying On The Ground; The American Standing Over Him. He Put A Bullet In The Soldier’s Head. He Didn’t Do It With Anger, As An Enemy, But As A Fellow Man, One Soldier Helping Another.

As One, They Leap, Laughing, And That Is Where We Leave Them - Mouths Open, Arms Spread Wide, Fingers Splayed To Take In The Whole World, Bodies Flying High In Defiance Of Gravity, As If They Will Never Fall.

The Uncertainty Of Our Future Is Nothing More Than A Fog Of Breath On A Windowpane.

Sitting In My Favorite Coffeehouse With A New Notebook And A Hot Cup Of Java Is My Idea Of Heaven.

It Was A Kiss Small In Its Ministrations But Epic In Its Feeling.

When You Looked Up To The Sky And Cried 'why?' Sometimes The Sky Shrugged, Yet Other Times It Answered With Warm Assurance Of Linked Hands.

All The Small, Simple, Conscious Acts Of Living A Sudden Defense Against The Dying We Do Every Day.

People Think Boundaries And Borders Build Nations. Nonsense-words Do. Beliefs, Declarations, Constitutions-words. Stories. Myths. Lies. Promises. History

Discord Need Not Be An Impediment. Differences Can Bring Strength.

Ain't That A Sight? With All The Things We Know And Learn, We Still Ain't Touched The Big Mysteries -- Where We Come From, Where We Go Next, Why We Even Her. And When Something Truly Miraculous Happens, We Run And Hide In Our Caves. We Deny.

It's Knowing I'll Never Have What She Has--a Beauty So Powerful It Brings Things To You. I Fear I Will Always Have To Chase Things I Want. I'll Always Have To Wonder Whether I'm Truly Wanted Or Whether I've Just Been Settled For.

I'm Sorry,' He Says Simply. 'people Make Mistakes, Gemma. We Take The Wrong Action For The Right Reasons, And The Right Action For The Wrong Reasons.

A Pair Of Blue Noses On The Next Bench Glared Their Disapproval At Evie’s Knee-length Dress. Evie Decided To Give Them A Real Show. She Hiked Her Skirt And, Humming Jauntily, Rolled Down Her Stockings, Exposing Her Legs. It Had The Desired Effect On The Blue Noses, Who Moved Down The Platform, Clucking About The “disgrace Of The Young.” She Would Not Miss This Place.

You And I, We Must Carry On, Gemma. I Cannot Afford The Luxury Of Love. I Must Marry Well. And Now I Must Look After You. It Is My Duty." "if You Wish To Suffer, You Do So Of Your Own Free Will, Not On My Behalf. Or Father's Or Grandmama's Or Anyone's. You Are A Fine Physician, Thomas. Why Is That Not Enough?" "because It Isn't," He Says With A Rare Candor. "only This And The Hope Of Nothing More? A Quiet Respectability With No True Greatness Or Heroism In It, With Only My Reputation To Recommend Me. So You See, Gemma, You Are Not The Only One Who Cannot Rule Her Own Life.

They Misspelled 'party.' How Evil Genius Can They Be?

Who But The Mad Would Choose To Keep On Living? In The End, Aren't We All Just A Little Crazy?

Do You Think They Missed Him Terribly When He Fell? Did God Cry Over His Lost Angel, I Wonder?

The Dull Pain Of Truth Weights My Soul, Pulling It Under. I Am Left Hopelessly Awake.

The Wind Picks Up. It Sends Leaves Scurrying For Cover Until A Softer Breeze Blows Through, Settling Them Down Again As If To Say, Shhh, There, There, It's All Right. One Leaf Still Dances In The Air. It Spins Higher And Higher, Defying Gravity And Logic, Stretching For Something Just Out Of Reach. It Shall Have To Fall, Of Course. Eventually. But For Now, I Hold My Breath, Willing It To Keep Going, Taking Comfort In Its Struggle.

Reason Was For Suckers And Presbyterians.

He Wanted To Hit Something Or Someone. He Wanted To Burn Up The Whole World, Heal It, And Burn It Down Again.

This Is How The Fire Starts. This Is How We Burn.

I Changed My Mind. I Don’t Want To Be An Inveshtigative Journalist Anymore. I Want To Be A Professional Rum Drinker.” “there Are People Who Do That,” Duff Said. He’d Barely Sipped His Rum. “really? What Do You Call Them?” “alcoholics.

I Do Not Want To Pass The Time. I Want To Grab Hold Of It And Leave My Mark Upon The World.

Taylor Clapped For Attention. “miss New Mexico, Let’s Not Get All Down In The Bummer Basement Where The Creepy Things Live. There Are People In Heathen China Who Don’t Even Have Airline Trays. We Have A Lot To Be Grateful For.

Hey,” The Cabbie Yelled. “how’s About A Tip?” “you Bet-ski,” Evie Said, Heading Toward The Old Victorian Mansion, Her Long Silk Scarf Trailing Behind Her. “don’t Kiss Strange Men In Penn Station.

They Swoon Over Tom, Who Preens For Them, Bowing, Which Sets Them To Blushing And Giggling. God Help Us All.

I Hear They Feed You In Sing Sing,” Evie Muttered. “three Squares A Day.” “evangeline,” Will Said With A Sigh. “charity Begins At Home.” “so Does Mental Illness.

Men Have Feelings Too, You Know. You Bruise The Petals Of My Manflower.

No One Can Live In The Light All The Time.

My Dad Was A Presbyterian Minister. Yes, I Am One Of Those Dreaded P.k.s - Preachers Kids. Be Afraid.

Dude, This Is A Stoner Conversation And We're Not Even High

So Much Of The Literature We Had To Read For High School English Class Was Filled With Victimized, Tragic, Symbolic Women Who Spurred The Plot Forward With Their Inevitable Shunning/death/shunning-followed-by-pregnancy-followed-by-death Timelines.

People Have A Habit Of Inventing Fictions They Will Believe Wholeheartedly In Order To Ignore The Truth They Cannot Accept.

I'm Floating Inside My Skin. I Could Go On Floating Like This For Days. Right Now, The Real World With Its Heartbreak And Disappointments Is Just A Pulse Against The Protective Membrane We've Drunk Ourselves Into. It's Somewhere Outside Us, Waiting." A Great And Terrible Beauty, Page 141, By

And That Is How Change Happens. One Gesture. One Person. One Moment At A Time.

But Sons Are A Different Matter To A Man. More A Duty Than An Indulgence.

He Smiles Sadly. "now I Know My Destiny." "what Is It?" "this." He Draws Me In To Him In A Kiss. His Lips Are Warm. He Pulls Me Tighter In His Embrace. The Roots Sigh And Release Their Hold On My Waist And The Wound In My Side Is Healed. "kartik," I Cry, Kissing His Cheeks. "it's Let Me Go." "that's Good," He Says. He Makes A Small Cry. His Back Arches, And Every Muscle In His Body Tightens.

Next Time We See You, You’ll Be On Trial For Some Ingenious Crime!” Dottie Said With A Laugh. Evie Grinned. “just As Long As They Know My Name.

I Should Never Be Left Alone With My Mind For Too Long.

The Dark Does Not Weep For Itself Because There Is No Light. Rather, It Accepts That It Is The Dark.

Evie Didn’t Mind Yelling, But She Hated Feeling Judged. It Got Under Her Skin And Made Her Feel Small And Ugly And Unfixable.

Amen, Sister, ... All Apologies To Tom Cruise.

I’m Not Interested In Being Polite. It’s False.

Books Are, At Their Heart, Dangerous. Yes, Dangerous. Because They Challenge Us: Our Prejudices, Our Blind Spots. They Open Us To New Ideas, New Ways Of Seeing. They Make Us Hurt In All The Right Ways. They Can Push Down The Barricades Of ‘them’ & Widen The Circle Of ‘us.

We're All Damaged Somehow."-a Great And Terrible Beauty

Wanna Rock You, Girl, With A Butterfly Tunic. / No, I'm Not Gay, I'm Just Your Emo Enuch. / Gonna Smile Real Shy, Won't Cop A Feel, / 'cause I'm Your Virgin Crush, Your Supersafe Deal. / Let Those Other Guys Keep Sexing. / You And Me, We Be Texting / 'bout Unicorns And Rainbows And Our Perfect Love. / Girl, We Fit Together Like A Hand In A Glove. / Now I Don't Mean That Nasty, Tell Your Mum Don't Get Mad. / I Even Wrote 'you're Awesome' On Your Maxi Pads.

The Sun Has Blessed You," Sarita Used To Say. "look How He Has Left His Kisses On Your Face For All To See And Be Jealous." "the Sun Loves You More," I Said, Rubbing My Hands Over Her Dry Arms, The Color Of An Aged Wine Gourd, And She Laughed. But This Is Not India And We Are Not Prized For Our Freckles Here. The Sun Is Not Allowed To Show His Love.

Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged.

She Bestowed The Blessing Of A Wild Girl's Lips.

In Every End, There Is Also A Beginning.

I Don't Know. Sometimes, I Feel Nothing, And I'm So Afraid. Afraid I'll Stop Feeling Anything At All. I'll Just Slip Away Inside Myself...i Just Need To Feel Something" A Great And Terrible Beauty, Page 177, By

...i Took Advanced Powerpoint Last Semester. You Guys Are Always Misunderestimating Me. I'm Totally Ready To Handle The Big Stuff.

Will You Punish Me Forever?

She Was Tired Of Being Told How It Was By This Generation, Who’d Botched Things So Badly. They’d Sold Their Children A Pack Of Lies: God And Country. Love Your Parents. All Is Fair. And Then They’d Sent Those Boys, Her Brother, Off To Fight A Great Monster Of A War That Maimed And Killed And Destroyed Whatever Was Inside Them. Still They Lied, Expecting Her To Mouth The Words And Play Along. Well, She Wouldn’t. She Knew Now That The World Was A Long Way From Fair. She Knew The Monsters Were Real.

What Happened To The Winner" Adina Asked. "she Tripped." "and The First Runner-up?" Miss Michigan Cracked Her Knuckles. "she Tripped, Too.

Live Life As If Today Is Your Last Day Living. :-)

In Our Travels, We Have Come Across Many Equations--math For Understanding The Universe, For Making Music, For Mapping Stars, And Also For Tipping, Which Is Important. Here Is Our Favorite Equation: Us Plus Them Equals All Of Us. It Is Very Simple Math. Try It Sometime. You Probably Won’t Even Need A Pencil.

Cash Or Check?” He Said Cheekily. Even The Dullest Ohio Girls Knew That Bit Of Lingo: Kiss Now Or Kiss Later? “bank’s Closed, Pal.

We Have Work To Do If You Are Not To Be A Total Failure Like High-waisted, Acid-wash Jeans.

Retribution Is A Dog Chasing Its Tail.

Feast For The Fisherman, The Ultimate Emo Band. Said To Be Sold With A Complimentary Prescription For Antidepressants And A Free Flatiron.

Jericho Lay Back Down On His Side, Watching Her Breathe Just An Arm's Length From Him. She Was Not Beautiful While She Slept; Her Mouth Hung Open And She Snored Very Lightly, And This, Despite Everything That Had Happened, Made Him Smile.

And When It Comes, Her Kiss Is Like Something Not So Much Felt As Found.

It's So Laughable That It's Somewhere Beyond Comedy And Right Into Tragedy Again.

What Do You Feel? I’ve Never Been Asked This Question Once. None Of Us Has. We Aren’t Supposed To Feel. We’re British.

Memphis—it’s Just A Bird. Birds Fly Around, Brother. It’s What They Do. It’s Not Following You, And It’s Not A Sign. Unless You Really Did Give It Candy And Flowers, In Which Case You Are One Strange Brother.

Didn't You Have Any Sadistic Nannies Who Told You These Tales To Keep You Quiet And Well Behaved At Night? Heavens, What's To Become Of The Empire If Governesses Have Lost Their Touch For Scaring The Wits Out Of Their Girls?

Simon, Would You Still Care For Me If You Discovered I Was Not Who I Say I Am?" What Do You Mean?" I Mean Would You Still Care For Me, No Matter What You Came To Know?" What A Thing To Ponder. I Don't Know What To Say." The Answer Is No. He Does Not Need To Say It. With A Sigh, Simon Digs At The Fire With The Iron Poker. Bits Of The Charred Log Fall Away, Revealing The Angry Insides. They Flare Orange For A Moment, Then Quiet Down Again. After Three Tries, He Gives Up. I'm Afraid This Fire's Had It." I Can See A Few Embers Remaining. "no, I Think Not. If..." He Sighs, And It Says Everything.

We're All Strangers Connected By What We Reveal, What We Share, What We Take Away--our Stories. I Guess That's What I Love About Books--they Are Thin Strands Of Humanity That Tether Us To One Another For A Small Bit Of Time, That Make Us Feel Less Alone Or Even More Comfortable With Our Aloneness, If Need Be.

Jeez, Someone Needs To Push The Reset Button On This Planet.

Maybe That's What Real Friendship Is -- Getting So Used To People That You Need To Be Annoyed By Them.

Why Is It That Some Secrets Can Drown You While Some Pull You Close To Others In A Way You Never Want To Lose?

You Can’t Blame A Fella For Kissing The Prettiest Girl In New York, Can You, Sister?” Sam’s Grin Was Anything But Apologetic. Evie Brought Up Her Knee Quickly And Decisively, And He Dropped To The Floor Like A Grain Sack. “you Can’t Blame A Girl For Her Quick Reflexes Now, Can You, Pal?

God Doesn't Like Lesbians," Grandma Huberman Hised, Throwing The Magazine In The Trash. Jennifer Knew What Lesbian Meant, And She Knew She Probably Was One. But She Couldn't Understand Why God Would Hold That Against Her Or Against Monica Mathers, Who'd Never Started A War Or Killed Anybody, And Whose Deadeye Three-pointers Were Straight-up Amazing. After All, Hadn't God Made Both Of Them? But People Were Like That, She'd Noticed. They'd Invoke Godly Privilege At The Weirdest Of Times And For The Most Stupid Reasons.

Because You Can't Keep Up The Illusion Forever," I Say. "no One Has That Much Magic.

Could I Have A Sloe Gin Fizz, Without The Gin?" "what's The Point Of That, Miss?" The Waiter Said. "tomorrow Morning," Mabel Said.

My Cholera's Acting Up Again.

I've Heard It Said That God Is In The Details. It's The Same With The Truth. Leave Out The Details, The Crucial Heart, And You Can Damn Someone With The Bare Bones Of It.

You're Special. I'm Special. The Whole World's Special, So Don't You Forget It. The Universe Wants Us All To Be Happy, Full Of Smiles And All That Stuff, All That Stuff That's Happy And Smiley. So Get Happy, Happy, Happy Right Now! Get Happy, Happy, Happy Right Now! Get Happy, Happy, Happy Right Now!

Felicity And I Watch The Dancers Moving As One. They Spin About Like The Earth On It's Axis, Enduring The Dark, Waiting For The Sun.

I Wonder How Many Times Each Day She Dies A Little.

Nobody Wants To Be Themselves. That's Why There's Tv. -ephigenia.

Sheep. I'm Stuck In A Boarding School Filled With Sheep.

My Platform's Called Don't Even Think About It. I Go To Schools And I Say, 'whatever Bad Thing It Is You're Thinking Of Doing, Don't Even Think About It. 'cause I Can See Into Your Soul, And I Will Hide In Your Closet And Come For You In The Night, And The Last Sound You Ever Hear Will Be My Sharp Teeth Popping Through The Flesh Of My Gums, Ready To Eat You.' Their Eyes Get All Big. It's Awesome. I Love Little Kids, Man. They're The Cutest

There Are Always Rebels And Radicals, I Suppose,' Mccleethy Allows. 'those Who Live On The Fringes Of Society. But What Do They Contribute To The Society Itself? They Reap Its Rewards Without Experiencing Its Costs. No. I Submit That Loyal, Hardworking Citizens Who Push Aside Their Own Selfish Desires For The Good Of The Whole Are The Backbone Of The World. What If We All Decided To Run Off And Live Freely Without Thought Or Care For Society's Rules? Our Civilization Would Crumble. There Is A Joy In Duty And A Security In Knowing One's Place...it Is The Only Way.

War." Gorgon Spits The Word. "that Is What They Call It To Give The Illusion Of Honor And Law. It Is Chaos. Madness And Blood And The Hunger To Win. It Has Always Been Thus And Shall Always Be So.

Hot Off The Presses, Today’s Headlines: The Love Of Your Life Does Not Approve Of My Wanton Flapper Ways,” Evie Said In A Voice Of Affected Mystery. “really, Mabesie. You Might Want To Reconsider—he Is A Bit Of A Killjoy.

Dammit!" "what?" Gonzo Sounds Panicked. "we're Out Of Gas." "you're Shithenging Me." "i Shithenge You Not.

The Rules Of Magic, My Dear, Are Best Not Discusses. For Once We Understand The Illusion, We No Longer Believe It.

Sometimes I See Things, I Think. Out Of The Corner Of My Eye, Taunting Me, And Then It’s Gone. And Dreams. Such Horrible Dreams. What If Something Terrible Happened To Me? What If I Am Damaged?" The Rain Is A Cool Kiss On My Sleeve As I Link My Arm With Hers. "we’re All Damaged Somehow.

I've Never Done Acid, Finding It Hard To Go Willingly To A Place That Could Be Frightening, Hellish, And Totally Beyond My Control. A Place Much Like High School.

She's No Beauty, Mate

Write Like It Matters, And It Will.

I Hate High Heels. Walking In High Heels For Eight Hours A Day Should Be Forbidden By The Geneva Convention.

I Think About Dying Every Day, Because I Can't Stop Thinking About Living.

No One Asks How Or What I Am Doing. They Could Not Care Less. We’re All Looking Glasses, We Girls, Existing Only To Reflect Their Images Back To Them As They’d Like To Be Seen. Hollow Vessels Of Girls To Be Rinsed Of Our Own Ambitions, Wants, And Opinions, Just Waiting To Be Filled With The Cool, Tepid Water Of Gracious Compliance. A Fissure Forms In The Vessel. I’m Cracking Open.

I Am Starting A Collection Of Only Right-hand Gloves. It’s Ever So Bourgeois To Have Two.

What Took You So Long?” Will Asked When Evie Came Panting Into The Room. He And Jericho Had Assembled A Stack Of Books, Which They Were Tucking Into Will’s Attaché Case. “i Walked To Jerusalem For The Bible. I Knew You’d Want An Original,” Evie Snapped.

But What Was The Point Of Living So Quietly You Made No Noise At All?

There's A Lot About Discovering Who You Are And How Difficult That Is. And It Never Stops.

Discovering Who You Are

Beggin' Your Pardon, Miss, But I Was Told You Be The One To Help Me Cross On To The Next World." "who Told You This?" His Eyes Widen. "a Fearsome Creature With A Head Full Of Snakes!" "you Musn't Fear Her," I Say, Taking The Man's Hand And Leading His Toward The River. "she's As Tame As A Pussycat. She'd Probably Lick Your Hand Given The Chance." "didn't Seem Harmless," He Whispers, Shuddering. "yes, Well, Things Are Not Always As They Appear, Sir, And We Must Learn To Judge For Ourselves.

I Know Because I Read...your Mind Is Not A Cage. It's A Garden. And It Requires Cultivating.

You Are Unique, And This Is A Beautiful, Beautiful Thing, Grasshopper.

I Stare At The Pile Of Discarded Remnants And Think Of My Mother. Did She Touch That Pillar There? Does Her Scent Still Linger In A Fragment Of Glass Or A Splinter Of Wood? A Terrible Emptiness Settles Into My Chest. No Matter How Much I Go About Living, There Are Always Small Reminders That Make The Loss Fresh Again.

The Key Holds The Truth

She Is The Elephant’s Eyebrows,” Evie Whispered Appreciatively. “those Jewels! How Her Neck Must Ache.” “that’s Why Bayer Makes Aspirin,” Mabel Whispered Back, And Evie Smiled, Knowing That Even A Socialist Wasn’t Immune To The Dazzle Of A Movie Star.

Hi. I’m From Arkansas, The Cantaloupe State. And Tonight, I Hope You Will Hold My Melons Close To Your Heart And Vote Me Your Miss Teen Dream.

I'll Try To Communicate, Taylor Said. She Spoke Slowly And Deliberately. Hello! We Need Help. Is Your Village Close? My Village Is Denver. And I Think It's A Long Way From Here. I'm Nicole Ade. Miss Colorado. We Have A Colorado Where We're From Too! Tiara Said. She Swiveled Her Hips, Spread Her Arms Wide, Then Brought Her Hands Together Prayer-style And Bowed. Kipa Aloha. Nicole Stared. I Speak English. I'm American. Also, Did You Learn Those Moves From Barbie's Hawaiian Vacation Dvd? Ohmigosh, Yes! Do Your People Have That, Too?

Who The Heck Is Don Quick-oats?

Our Mouths And Bodies Speak For Us In A New Language As The Trees Shake Loose A Rain Of Petals That Stick To Our Slickness Like Skins We Will Wear Forever. And Just Like That, I Am Changed.

Don't You? If You Keep Them From The Magic, They Will Never Know What Their Lives Could Be.' They Will Remain Protected,' Asha Insists. No, 'i Say. 'only Untested.

Reminds Us That Greatness Lies Even In The Smallest Of Moments, In The Humblest Of Hearts, And We Shall, Each Of Us, Be Called To Greatness. Whether We Shall Rise To Meet It Or Let It Slip Away Is The Challenge Put Before Us All.

The World Is Only As Fair As You Can Make It. Takes A Lot Of Fight. A Lot Of Fight. But If You Stay In Here, In Your Little Cave, That's One Less Fighter On The Side Of Fair.

Oh, Hello," Dr. M Says, Shaking Balder's Hand. "wonderful Costume. I'm A Bit Of A Role Player Myself On The Weekends. Tell Me, Where Did You Get The Helmet?" It Was Forged In The North, Blessed By The Hands Of Odin, Given To Me By My Mother, Frigg," Balder Answers. Lovely. I Got Mine On The Internet.

If There Was One Truth Evie Had Learned In Her Short Life, It Was That Forgiveness Was Easier To Seek Than Permission. She Didn’t Plan To Ask For Either One.

She Loved Attention. It Was Like A Glass Of The Best Champagne—bubbly And Intoxicating—and As With Champagne, She Always Wanted More Of It. Still, She Didn’t Want To Seem Like An Easy Mark. “if You Must Know, I’ve Come To Join A Convent,” Evie Said, Testing Him.

Did They Find Something Wanting In You, Gemma, At The Party? You Didn’t Speak Too Freely Or Behave…strangely?” I Grew Claws And Bayed At The Moon. I Confessed That I Eat The Hearts Of Small Children. I Told Them I Like The French.

We Sit And Listen And Are Enthralled Anew, For Good Stories, It Seems, Never Lose Their Magic.

Thou Shalt Not Steal. I Seem To Recall That Being One Of God’s I’d Rather You Didn’t Lest I Have To Smite You Into Ash Commandments.

I Shan't Ever Understand Your Willingness To Lie Down And Die," Felicity Bars. "if You Won't At Least Try To Fight, I Have No Sympathy For You.

No, I Call. Come Back. I'm Here, He Says. But I Can't See. It's Too Bright. You Can't Hold Back The Light, Gemma. I'm Here. Trust Me.

And Just As I Begin To Believe That All Is Well, There Is Some Subtle Change In The Light. The Room Takes Its True Shape. I Fight To Go Back To That Blissful Ignorance, But It Is Too Late. The Dull Pain Of Truth Weights My Soul, Pulling It Under. I Am Left Hopelessly Awake.

The World Is A Lie...not You And Me.

There Are Times When I Wish I Could Go Back And Change The Course Of My Life. Make Different Choices...but The Past Cannot Be Changed, And We Carry Our Choices With Us, Forward, Into The Unknown. We Can Only Move On. Do You Remember That I Told You That At Spence?

How Do People Stay In Love, Anyway? Is It A Choice? Or Is It Like Those Plants We Studied In Biology That Mutate Into Something New And Totally Different But Are Still Part Of The Same Plant Family?

Libraries Are The Torch Of The World, Illuminating The Path When It Feels Too Dark To See. We Mustn't Allow That Torch To Be Extinguished.

As A Kid, I Imagined Lots Of Different Scenarios For My Life. I Would Be An Astronaut. Maybe A Cartoonist. A Famous Explorer Or Rock Star. Never Once Did I See Myself Standing Under The Window Of A House Belonging To Some Druggie Named Carbine, Waiting For His Yard Gnome To Steal His Stash So I Could Get A Cab Back To A Cheap Motel Where My Friend, A Neurotic, Death-obsessed Dwarf, Was Waiting For Me So We Could Get On The Road To An Undefined Place And A Mysterious Dr. X, Who Would Cure Me Of Mad Cow Disease And Stop A Band Of Dark Energy From Destroying The Universe.

I've Been Poked And Prodded In Places I'd Always Prided Myself On Keeping Untouched For That One Special Doctor Who Gives Me A Ring And A Promise Someday.

On Tv, Talking Heads Wrung Their Hands Over A Lack Of Traditional Feminine Values And Wondered If Girls’ Sports Were To Blame. Then They Cut To A Commercial Featuring A Sexy College Coed Vacuuming Her Dorm Room In Her Underwear.

I Wish To Live For Myself. I Should Never Want To Be Trapped.

She Wished She Were As Inconsequential As The Ghosts In Her Dreams.

Inconsequential

I Can Be Whatever. You Can Be Whatever. We Can Be Whatever. Whatever, Together.

Harold Brodie Is A Louse And A Lothario Who Cheats At Cards And Has A Different Girl In His Rumble Seat Every Week. That Coupe Of His Is Pos-i-tute-ly A Petting Palace. And He’s A Terrible Kisser To Boot.” Evie’s Parents Stared In Stunned Silence. “or So I’ve Heard.

Did You Hear? You Are Free." Yessss. Choice. It Is A Fine Thing. And I Choose To Take You Back, Most High.

They Kept The Lie Going, And The People Loved It.

There Are Times When One Friend Requires The Blind Faith Of Another.

Please, I'm A Transgender Former Boy-bander. You Think I Don't Know How To Defend Myself?

...dreams Were Dreams And Reality Was Reality And She Felt People Were Better Off Understanding The Difference.

Agent Jones Held Sinjin’s Face In His Hands. “i’m Going To Make Balloon Animals. People Need Balloon Animals.” “how Right You Are, Strange Delusional Man,” Sinjin Said.

He Said To Tell You To Remember Your Heart In All Things, That It Is Where Your Honor And Your Destiny Will Be Found. Does It Mean Anything To You?' It Is Something He Would Say From Time To Time-that The Eye Could Be Misled, But That The Heart Was True.

Can We Really Conquer Chaos So Easily? If That Were So, I Should Be Able To Prune The Pandemonium Of My Own Soul Into Something Neat And Tidy Rather Than This Maze Of Wants And Needs And Misgivings That Has Me Forever Feeling As If I Cannot Fit Into The Landscape Of Things.

When She Can't Bring Me To Heal With Scolding, She Bends Me To Shape With Guilt.

There's No Such Thing As Nothing. In Every Nothing, There's A Something. In Fact, There Could Be Everything!

Because 'you're Perfect Just The Way You Are,' Is What Your Guidance Counselor Says. And She's An Alcoholic.

Helloooo." Miss Ohio Rolled Her Eyes. "i'm From The Buckeye State. We Are Serious About Our Tailgating Parties. I Can Turn Anything Into A Grill.

I Had A Friend Who Said, "you Don't Have An Internal Critic. You Have An Internal Sadist."

Yes, Go On. Leave. You're Always Coming And Going. The Rest Of Us Are Stuck Here. Do You Think He'd Still Love You If He Knew Who You Are? He Doesn't Really Care—only When It Suits Him.

She Knew What It Was To Wait For Someone Who Would Never Come Home. She Knew That Grief, Like A Scar, Faded But Never Really Went Away.

Reality Is A State Of Mind. To The Banker, The Money In His Ledger Book Is All Very Real, Though He Doesn't Actually See It Or Touch It. But To The Brahma, It Simply Doesn't Exist The Way The Air And The Earth, Pain And Loss Do. To Him, The Banker's Reality Is Folly. To The Banker, The Brahma's Ideas Are As Inconsequential As Dust.

Please Do Not Strain Yourself, Miss Doyle. I Won't Have My Girls Going Cross-eyed In The Name Of Art.

Agent Jones Switched To The Big Screen And A Grainy Video Of Momo Sitting At His Enormous Desk, A Swivel-hipped Elvis Clock Ticking Behind His Bewigged Head. 'death To The Capitalist Pigs! Death To Your Cinnamon Bun-smelling Malls! Death To Your Power Walking And Automatic Car Windows And I'm With Stupid T-shirts! The Republic Of Chacha Will Never Bend To Your Side-of-fries -drive -through-please-oh-would-you-like-ketchup-with-that Corruption! Momo B. Chacha Defies You And All You Stand For, And One Day, You Will Crumble Into The Sea And We Will Pick Up The Pieces And Make Them Into Sand Art.

Because You Don't Notice The Light Without A Bit Of Shadow. Everything Has Both Dark And Light. You Have To Play With It Till You Get It Exactly Right.

Clothing Left On The Bed Unfolded. Books Stained With Coffee Spots. Tabs Not Paid Until The Last Possible Second. Boys Kissed And Then Forgotten In A Week’s Time.

Wow, You're Awesome And The Universe Loves A Winner, So The Universe Must Really Love You!

I Refuse To Let The Past Find Me Here.

We Don't Look At Each Other Anymore. Not Really. Not Since I Pulled Him From That Opium Den. Now When I Look At Him, I See The Addict. And When He Looks At Me, He Sees What He Would Rather Not Remember. I Wish I Could Be His Adored Little Girl Again, Sitting At His Side.

I Hate This Place,” Tiara Whimpered. “it’s Super Creepy. Like A Haunted Chuck E. Cheese’s Where The Games All Want To Kill You And You Never Get Your Pizza.

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