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What Are You Doing In There, Waxing Your Mustache?” Iggy Yelled, Pounding On The Bathroom Door. I Yanked The Door Open And Pushed Him Backward Hard, Making Him Stagger. “i Don’t Have A Mustache, You Idiot!” Iggy Giggled And Put His Arms Up To Protect Himself In Case I Punched Him. “and You Know What?” I Added. “you Don’t Have One Either. Well, Maybe In A Couple Years. You Can Always Hope.” I Left Him In The Hallway, Anxiously Fingering His Upper Lip.

-James Patterson

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What Are You Doing

James Patterson

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What Are You Doing In There, Waxing Your Mustache?” Iggy Yelled, Pounding On The Bathroom Door. I Yanked The Door Open And Pushed Him Backward Hard, Making Him Stagger. “i Don’t Have A Mustache, You Idiot!” Iggy Giggled And Put His Arms Up To Protect Himself In Case I Punched Him. “and You Know What?” I Added. “you Don’t Have One Either. Well, Maybe In A Couple Years. You Can Always Hope.” I Left Him In The Hallway, Anxiously Fingering His Upper Lip.

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Fang (sarcasticaly): Go Pick Out A Tree And I'll Carve Our Initials In It. Max: (screams And Goes In The Bathroom)

I Was Breathless, Talking As Fast As I Could. I Was Afraid If I Stopped Talking, Even For A Second, I’d Start Sobbing Again. “whoa, There.” Fang Smiled And Reached Up, Tracing A Hand Down The Side Of My Face, Winding Strands Of My Hair Around His Fingers. “stop Talking And Let Me Just Tell You How Great It Is To Wake Up Staring At Your Face. Okay?

I Was Always A Good Student, But I Didn't Read That Much Until I Was 18 And I Was Working My Way Through College.

I Vill Destroy De Snickers Bar!" Gazzy(the Gas Man)

Guess They Forgot To Program Us With Any Respect For Authority." "well, I Have A Highly Developed Sense Of Irony.

Max, If You Survive Your Final Test, Can You Steal Me One Of Those Magic Outfits For Me?" I'll Try To Get One For Each Of Us. Hey! 'if'?

If It's Commercial Fiction That You Want To Write, It's Story, Story, Story. You've Got To Get A Story Where If You Tell It To Somebody In A Paragraph, They'll Go, "tell Me More." And Then When You Start To Write It, They Continue To Want To Read More. And If You Don't, It Won't Work.

A Vet! I Started Laughing Weakly And Had To Sit On The Edge Of The Tub. A Vet. Wait Till They Found Out How Appropriate That Was.

Did You Know That Wasn’t Me, The Other Max?” I Asked. “yeah.” “when?” “right Away.” “how?” I Persisted. “we Look Identical. She Even Had Identical Scars And Scratches. She Was Wearing My Clothes. How Could You Tell Us Apart?” He Turned To Me And Grinned, Making My World Brighter. “she Offered To Cook Breakfast.

What Happened To Your Tan?"--fang "it Was Dirt." --max

I'm Magnetic," She Whispered, Half Awed And Half Horrified. "i Hope You Don't Start Sticking To Fridges And Stuff," I Said In Disbelief. Fang Dropped Down Next To Me, And The Gasman Joined Us, Squishing In Next To Nudge. "what's Going On?" Fang Asked. "i'm Magnet Girl!" Nudge Said, Already Coming To Terms With Her New Skill.

Bad Stuff Happens. Sometimes It Makes No Sense At All. Sometimes Its Unfair. Sometimes, It Just Plain Sucks. Bad Stuff Happens Sometimes. Always Remember That, But Remember That You Have To Move On Somehow. You Just Pick Your Head Up And Stare At Something Beautiful Like The Sky, Or The Ocean, And You Move The Hell On.

I Blame Jeb For Letting You Be Such A Smart Aleck.” I Stared At Her. “i Blame You For Altering My Dna! I Mean, I Have Wings, Lady! What Were You Thinking?

I Remembered Something My First Partner Had Told Me. Never Wrestle With A Pig, Lindsay. You Both Get Dirty. The Pig Likes It.

Do You Want To Know The Closest Thing To Feeling The Most Powerful You Can Feel ? Flying Alone At Night.risky.nothing But You And The Wind Soaring Way Above Everything , Slicing Through The Air Like A Sword. Up And Up Until You Feel Like You Can Grab A Star And Hold It To Your Chest Like A Burning, Spiky Thing

I Moved To Leave, And Dylan Actually Grabbed Me By My Shoulders. I Was So Surprised That I Forgot To Karate-chop His Elbows And Break His Arms.

I Flipped Down The Visor So I Could Check Myself In The Mirror, And Something Small And Heavy Dropped Into My Lap. I Froze, My Breath Stuck In My Throat. What—? Gingerly, I Looked Down. It Wasn’t A Grenade. It Was A Key Ring. One Key Was For This Van. I Looked At It Blankly. “well, That’ll Simplify Things,” Fang Said.

The Hardest Part About Parenting Is When I Have To Be The Dad--aka The Fun-sucker--as Opposed To Being A Friend.

Pain Is A Message, And You Can Choose To Ignore That Message.

Honesty Is Always Good, Except When It's Better To Lie.

Jeezum—humans Were Like Eggshells.

Where Was The Catch? 'cause I Knew One Was Coming.

Part 5 The Voice- Make That My Voice

The Next Morning, Fang And I Broke Up. Now Let Me Get This Strait, I Broke Up With Him. A Split Second After He Broke Up With Me.

Here's A Freebie: Don't Play Poker With A Kid Who Can Read Minds.

Sighing, She Gave A Brief Nod. “i Was Supposed To Win. I Was Supposed To Finish You Off. They Never Counted On You Winning. And Then You Didn’t Kill Me. It Was Awful.” “you’re Welcome,” I Said, Feeling Fresh Anger Ignite. “i’ll Try Not To Humiliate You By Letting You Live Next Time.” (max Ii To Max)

One Of The Nice Things About Books As Opposed To Television And Movies To Some Extent Is It's Not A Passive Entertainment. People Really Do Get Involved, And They Do Create, And They Do Have Their Own Visions Of What Different Characters Look Like And What Should Happen. It's Great - It Means Their Brains Are Working.

Advanced Life-forms, My Seweet Patootie. Jerks. Both Of Them.

I Don't Believe In Lecturing People. It's Much More Effective To Present Reading As A Fun, Rewarding Pastime.

I Never Read Detective Novels. I Started Out In Graduate School Writing A More Serious Book. Right Around That Time I Read 'the Day Of The Jackal' And 'the Exorcist'. I Hadn't Read A Lot Of Commercial Fiction, And I Liked Them.

Lots Of Women Are Gifting Themselves With Diamonds For Their Right Hand.

What Are You Guys Doing? If You Anted Me To Take A Shower, All You Had To Do Was Pay Me Ten Bucks, Like You Usually Do

What's So Funny 'bout Peace, Love, And World Destruction?

World Destruction

Lost In Translation

"jeez, Was That A Lion? Please Tell Me It’s Behind Bars." "it’s A Zoo, Iggy,” Nudge Said, Taking His Arms And Leading Him. "everything’s Behind Bars."

I Love You, I Love Your Smile Your Snarl Your Grin, Your Face When Your Sleeping.i Love Your Hair Streaming Behind You As We Fly, With The Sunlight Making It Shine, If It Doesn't Have Too Much Mud Or Blood In It, I Love Seeing Your Wings Spreading Out, White And Brown And Tan And Speckled, And The Tiny Downy Feathers Right At The Top Of Your Shoulders. I Love Your Eyes, Whether They're Cold Or Calculating Or Suspicious Or Laughing Or Warm, Like When You Look At Me.

"i Can Talk To Fish!" Angel Said Happily, Water Dripping Off Her Long, Skinny Body. "ask One Over For Dinner," Fang Said, Joining Us.

Do You Ever Have Dirty Thoughts About Spongebob?

They Aren't The Brightest Crayons In The Box -max(saving The World And Other Extreme Sports)

I Offered To Pee On Him, But They Said No

You Know, I Guess I Just Don't Like To Talk A Lot About Sad Things. Now You Know My Flaw. What Good Does It Do To Talk About Sad Things In The Past?

Later," Fang Said To Ella And Dr. Martinez In That Gushy, Hyperemotional, Overdramatic Way He Has.

You Could Lock The Gasman In A Padded Cell With Some Dental Floss And A Bowl Of Jell-o, And He'd Find A Way To Make Something To Explode.

Oh Great. Yoda Captured Us.

Actually, I'd Already Briefed Him, Early This Morning. Since We Were Up At Six. Since, At Six, The Nurse Had Been Overcome With The Overwhelming Compulsion To Take Fang's Temperature Right Then.

It's Funny How Different People Are. If I'd Been This Kid And Someone Was Snarling "ordering A Pizza?" At Me, Without Even Thinking, I Would Have Snarled Back "yeah. You Want Pepperoni?" -maximum Ride

You Can Help Each Other, Max, Said The Unwelcome Voice. You're Perfect Complements To Each Other. "shut Up!" I Hissed Under My Breath, And Dylan Looked Startled. "i Didn't Say Anything." Gritting My Teeth, I Nodded. "no, I Know. It's Just-" I Decided To Take A Risk And Stare Him Down. "i Hear Voices, Okay? If You're Gonna Be Here, Get Used To It. Or Else Keep Your Distance.

Part 3 Back To School (the Normal Kind)

What Are They Teaching These Thugs? -why Are There So Many Of Them? -what Is The Institute For Higher Aeronautics? -how Many Of The Are There? There Are Only Six Of Us! Why? -why Is Dc Public Transportation So Weird? -why Don't We Mug Those Eraser Goons For Money More Often? -fang's Blog

It’s, Like, A Safety Bomb.” -iggy

Advice: Don’t Wait Until Someone You Have Issues With — Especially Someone You’re Related To — Gets Shot Before You Work It Out.

Time For Bed.” I Held My Fist Out. One By One, My Flock Stacked Theirs On Top, And Then We Headed Up Into The Trees To Sleep The Sleep Of The Innocent. Well, Okay, Maybe Not So Innocent. But The Sleep Of The Much Less Guilty Than Others, For Sure.

Dead Max Was The Biggest Oxymoron In History.

If My Life Were A Corny Horror Movie, And The Heroine Was Lost And Alone, Trapped In An Underwater Cave, What Would Happen Next? If You Guessed, “she Drops Her Flashlight, And It Hits A Rock And Breaks, Leaving Her In Utter Darkness,” You Would Be Right. But I Bet You Didn’t Guess The Part About An Attack By A Giant Octopus.

Iggy. This Is Not A Democracy," I Said,(...)"it's A Maxocracy.

I Whirled Around And Saw No One. No Psychotic Mad Scientists, Anyway. "jackpot, Max! Jackpot!" It Was Was Fang, And He Was Giggling Hysterically. For Those Of You Just Joining Us, Fang Doesn't Giggle. Especially Hysterically. So For A Second, This Seemed Like One Of The Weirder Dreams Of Recent Days.

When I Wanted Information, It Was Silent; When I Didn't Want To Hear From It, It Got Chatty. It Was Alost As Irritating As Fang.

It Sucked, But It Was Way Cool At The Same Time," Gazzy Said. "i Felt Like The Blue Angels!" "yeah, Except The Blue Angels Are An Extremely Well Funded, Well Equipped, Well Trained, Well Fed, And No Doubt Squeaky-clean Group Of Crack Navy Pilots," I Said. "and We're A Bunch Of Unfunded, Unequipped, Semitrained, Not Nearly Well Fed Enough, And Filthy Mongrel Avian-human Hybrids. But Other Than That, It's Exactly The Same.

I'm Not A Writer's Writer. I'm Not A Craftsman. I Could Be, And That Would Be A One-book-a-year Operation.

Well, That's An Evil Smile.

I Want To Know About My Mom. And Other Stuff. I Want To Know The Whole Story, Good Or Bad.” “me, Too,” Said Gazzy. “i Want To Find My Parents So I Can Tell’m What Total Scuzzes They Are. Like, ‘hi, Mom And Dad, You’re Such Scum!

There Are Terrific Models For Success With Reluctant Readers, But Many School Systems And State Governments Need To Set Aside Their 'not Invented Here' And 'we Have More Important Problems Than Education' Attitudes.

I Love The Idea Of Expanding The Universe Of Games To Some Extent. At One Point, They Were Kind Of Limited To Boys, Fanboys And Whatever. I Like The Idea Of Liberation For Games.

Iggy’s Spine Tightened, His Face Like Ice. When He’d Been At The School, They’d Tried To Surgically Enhance His Night Vision. Now He Was Blind Forever. Oops.

She Didn't Flirt With Him, But They Hung Out Together A Lot, And Every Time I Saw Their Heads Bent Over A Computer Screen Or Map, It Made My Stomach Clench. And My Teeth. And My Fists.

I Knew How Good Love Could Be -- I Knew It Was The Best Thing I'd Ever Done In My Life -- And Yet Here I Was Alone. I Was Taking Chances With My Life. I Kept Telling Everybody That I Was All Right, But I Wasn't.

Tears Were Dripping Onto My Dress, But I Wasn't Making Any Sound. There Was No Sound To Express Thid Kind Of Pain. I Didn't Want To Move, Didn't Want To Do Anything. Fang Was Not Waiting For Me Out In The Living Room. Tomorrow Morning, When I Woke Up, Fang Would Still Be Gone.

If You're Ever Feeling A Lack Of Middle-aged White Men, Just Pop Into The Capitol. Not So Much The House Of Representatives, Which Has A Bit More Color And Texture, But The Senate -- Jeez. Yes, Let's Have More Testosterone Running The Country. Maximum Ride, School's Out--forever

Living Life Was Like Putting The Beach Into A Jar. The Point Wasn’t To Fit Everything In; It Was To Attend To The Most Important Things First—the Big, Beautiful Rocks—the Most Valuable People And Experiences—and Fit The Lesser Things In Around Them. Otherwise, The Best Things Might Get Left Out

I Gave Him A Kick And He Stepped Back Onto The Third Rail. Exploding, Flaming Eraser! This Is Why Moms Tell You To Stay Away From The Third Rail, But It Sure Came In Handy This Time.

"hello, Max," He Said Quietly, Searching My Face. "how Do You Feel?" Which Was A Ten On The 'imbecilic Question' Scale Of One To Ten. "why, I Feel Fine, Jeb," I Said Brightly. "how About You?" "any Nausea? Headache?" "yep. And It's Standing Here Talking To Me."

Max - You Have A Bigger Mission Than Finding The Flock's Parents. Focus On Helping The Whole World, Not Just Your Friends. I Held My Wings Steady, Coasting For A Long, Long Way On A Warm Updraft. It Was Like Floating On A Cloud, The Best Feeling You Can Imagine. I Wish You Could Try It With Me. Maybe Next Time. You Know, Voice, I Thought Finally, My Friends Are My World.

How Did You Become Blind, Uh, Jeff Is It?" Yeah, Jeff. Well, I Looked Directly At The Sun, You Know, The Way They Always Tell You Not To. If Only I Had Listened.

Have You Been Playing In Toxic Waste Lately?

Yeah, Well, Asparagus Is Good For Me, But It Still Makes Me Want To Throw Up.

Yes, Max, You Are Going To Die. Just Like Everybody Else. Thank You, Confucious.

Six Seconds Should Be Rick Mofina's Breakout Thriller. It Moves Like A Tornado.

All Genders?' Whispered Nudge. 'aren't There Just The Two' I Shrugged. 'no Idea. Maybe They've Created Others.

She Had A Lot Of Hugs To Give, But Not Enough People To Give Them To.

I Had A Question. "why Does The Name Pearl Harbor Sound So Familiar?" The Lieutenant Colonel's Eyes Narrowed. "pearl Harbor Is The Most Famous U.s. Military Base In The World," He Said Crisply. "it's The Only Place On U.s. Soil That Has Been Attacked In A Wars, Since The Revolutionary War." None Of This Was Ringing A Bell, But You Already Know I'm Totally Uneducated. Gazzy Leaned Over To Whisper, "it Was A Movie With Ben Affleck." Ah. Now I Remembered.

Ultimately, A Great Thriller Is A Roller Coaster Ride. I Like To Think That's A Promise I Have Never Failed To Keep, And One That I'd Say Has Served My Books Well.

On The Other Hand, Even A Big, '80s Love Van Was Less Noticeable Than Six Flying Kids And Their Talking Dog. So There You Go.

A Lot Of Things That People Think Are Risky, I Don't Think Are Risky. I Don't Get All That. I Think What Was Really Risky For Network Television Was To Let Cable Television To Take The Summers.

When My Son, Jack, Was Four, I Had To Make A Trip To Los Angeles. I Asked Him If He Was Going To Miss Me. 'not So Much,' Jack Told Me. 'you're Not Going To Miss Me?' I Said. Jack Shook His Head, And He Said, 'love Means You Can Never Be Apart.

Bombs Are Good. I Love Bombs."--iggy

I Am Not A Great Prose Stylist. I'm A Storyteller. There Are Thousands Of People Who Don't Like What I Do. Fortunately, There Are Millions Who Do.

Max-i'm Not Going To Die Today.

That's More Than Three Questions, Max. And Sometimes Whether Someone Is Your Friend Or Enemy Is All In How You Look At It. But If You Must Know, I Consider Myself Your Friend, A Good Friend Who Loves You Very Much. No One Loves You More Than I Do, Maximum. Now Listen. I Ask The Questions, Not You. You're Just Here... For The Ride. For The Incredible, Indescribable Maximum Ride.

I Took A Bite Of Cookie And Chewed. “hmmm,” I Said, Trying Not To Spit Crumbs. “clear Vanilla Notes, Too-sweet Chocolate Chips, Distinct Flavor Of Brown Sugar. A Decent Cookie, Not Spectacular. Still, A Good-hearted Cookie, Not Pretentious.” I Turned To Fang. “what Say You?” “it’s Fine.” Some People Just Don’t Have What It Takes To Appreciate A Cookie.

Noooo!" On The Screen, A Woman's Eyes Bugged Almost Out Of Her Head, And I Tried Not To Scream. Tried Not To Scream In Exasperation, I Mean. The Serial Killer Was Right In Front Of Her, Wide Open! Clearly, Instead Of Weeping Like A Moron, She Could Be Lunging Forward And Administering A Swift Uppercut To The Chin. Then This Entire Pointless Ordeal Would Be Over With, And I Could Go Home.

And Then As Always, I Saw The Prayer Coming At Me. And, As Always, Number 1 Killed Me! Set Me On Fire, Cooked Me To Medium Rare And Then Ate Me! I Really, Really, Really Hope I Haven't Just Given Away The Ending Of This Story.

Like A Good Song, Life Has Verses, The Goliards Had Taught Me. Each Verse Has To Be Sung. It Takes All Of Them To Make A Song. It Is The Entire Chanson You Name, But When You Think Of It, When You Smile, It Is A Favorite Verse That Delights Your Ears.

The Subject For A Lot Of Non-fiction Is Very Emotional, But If You Read It, It's The Most Boring, Dry Stuff. I Wanted 'torn Apart' To Be Extremely Accessible And Readable.

You...are...a...frige...with...wings...we...are...freaking...ballet...dancers!

Is That Clear?" Said Borcht "as Clear As Pea Soup" I Said

Unfortunately, Every Time Someone Said “debriefing,” The Entire Flock Had One Image: Someone’s Tighty-whities Disappearing In A Flash. We Were Smothering Our Giggles, But It Was Getting Harder. Coupled With The Whole “naval This, And Naval That,” With Its Undeniable Belly-button Connotations, We Were Essentially Turning Into A Sugar-jacked, Sleep-deprived Flock Of Incoherent, Silly, Recombinant-dna Goofballs. This Was Not Going To End Well.

Why Can't You Just Get Out Of Here And Leave Me Alone?"i Bellowed. "i Can't!" Dylan Shouted Back,his Face Twisted With An Anger I'd Never Seen From Him. "you Can,"i Said Through Gritted Teeth."just Point Your Wings That Way And Flap!

Angel: What's Sauerkraut? Max: You Don't Want It. Trust Me.

It's So Strange. Everything Can Be Going Alone Just Great, And Then One Day, Whack, You're Blindsided-- A Lousy, Crammy Blow You Didn't See Coming.

Part 1- In Search Of Hot Chocolate-chip Cookies

Max, You're Acting Like A Child, The Voice Said. You're Above Rebelling Against Your Fate Just To Rebel. You've Got A Date With Destiny. Don't Be Late." I Brushed Some Hair Out Of My Eyes. Is That A Movie Quote? Or Is It An Actual Date? I Don't Remember Destiny Asking Me. I Never Even Gave Destiny My Phone Number.

Okay, That So Did Me In. Mr. Rock Being All Emotional? Expressing His Feelings?" P. 12

Always Expect The Unexpected. Right Around Thanksgiving, When The New Alex Cross Will Be Out. It's Called Four Blind Mice And It's A Pretty Amazing Story About Several Murders Inside The Military.

I'm A Girl Of Extremes. When I Love Something, I'm Like A Puppy Dog (without All The Licking). When I'm Cranky, I'm A Wasp (like A Whole Hive Of 'em). And When I'm Angry, I'm A Mother Bear With A Predator After Her Cubs: Dangerous.

And Now I Was Trying To Brush My Hair,you Know,when I Thought About It,and Looking At Myself In Mirrors,wondering If I Was Pretty.pretty! A Year Ago,when My Haair Got In My Eyes I Hacked It Off With A Knife.the Only Thing Important About My Clothes Was Whether They Were To Stiff To Move Fast In Battle. And Fang Had Been My Best Friend And An Excellent Fighter.

We Will Destroy You,” The Flyboys Droned. “you Have No Escape.” That Was The Most Imaginative, Threatening Thing The Whitecoats Had Programmed These ’droids To Say? “talk About Lame,” Fang Muttered.

A Lot Of Times You Get People Writing Wonderful Sentences And Paragraphs, And They Fall In Love With Their Prose Style, But The Stories Really Aren't That Terrific.

Falling In Love

I Don't Believe In Making War With Food. Food Is Not The Enemy. Said By Claire In The 5th Horseman

Look, I Guess It's Natural, You're Teenagers, Its Springtime,everyone's Thoughts Are Turning To Birds And Bees And Caterpillars And Moths..... - Iggy

The Hamster Called. He Wants His Home Back.

I Hoped I Wasn't Actually Dead. That Would Make Finding Our Parents And Saving The World Really Hard.

Fang Looked At Me, Hope In His Eyes, And I Smirked At Him. I Save The Huge Emotional Kissy-face For Imminent Death Scenes. This Probably Didn't Qualify.

Plus Her Mom Was So Awesome. She Was Strict About Some Things—don’t Leave Your Socks Lying Around—but So Not Strict About Other Things, Like Calling The Cops About My Bullet Wound.

Life Is Such A Miracle, A Series Of Small Miracles.it Really Is, If You Learn How To Look At It With The Right Perspective.

Maybe He Was A Good A Good Whitecoat—like Jeb. And Maybe The Moon Was Made Of Cream Cheese.

"i Feel Like, Like Pudding," Iggy Groaned. "pudding With Nerve Endings. Pudding In Great Pain."

I Feel Like I'm Going To Hurl. Which, Even If I Wanted To Do, I Couldn't Do, Because I Haven't Eaten. I Can't Even Drag Myself Out Of My Room. And While I'd Be Able To Muster The Strength To Roundhouse Fang Until He Begged For Mercy, I'de Be Mush Around An Eraser.

Choose Now," He Spat, His Eyes Practically Shooing Sparks. "me Or Him." Gosh,fang, You Romantic Fool," I Said Sarcastically."howw Incredibly Sexist Pig Of You.

Man, You Weigh A Freaking Ton," He Told Me. "what've You Been Eating, Rocks?" "why, Is Your Head Missing Some?" I Croaked. His Mouth Almost Quirked In A Smile, And That's When I Knew How Upset He'd Been

Fang Snorted In Disbelief. "on One Hand, We Have A Mythical Nice Family That Wants To Adopt Me. On The Other, We Have A Gang Of Insane Scientists Desperate To Do Genetic Experiments On Innocent Children. Guess Which Hand I Get Dealt?

And I Think That Everything In Life Is Kind Of Unreal, Isn't It?

I Have A Folder In My Office With About 400 Ideas In It. So It Will Take Me Another 40 Years To Get Through Those.

Fear Is Not The Answer, Not Ever.

It's For Upset Stomachs,' Dylan Said, Trying To Hide A Smile. He Pointed To The Words In The Box. 'it's To Reduce Gas In Your Digestive System, Not To Create More Gas To Make Explosions.' Gazzy's Face Fell As Iggy Said. 'really? Gazzy Take It! Take The Whole Box!' 'i Second That Emotion!' Said Total.

I Write Larger Than Life. It's What I Do.

Larger Than Life

Popcorn For Breakfast! Why Not? It's A Grain. It's Like Grits, But With High Self-esteem.

People Always Remember The Worst Day Of Their Lifes. It Becomes A Part Of Them Forever.

When Did They Start Coming After You?” “was It—was It After The Oil- Slick Hummer Crash?” The Gasman Asked Iggy Tentatively. My Eyes Widened. Oil-slick Hummer Crash? Iggy Rubbed His Chin, Thinking. “or Maybe It Was More---after The Bomb,” The Gasman Said In A Low Voice, Looking Down. “i Think It Was The Bomb,” Iggy Agreed. “that Definitely Seemed To Tick Them Off.” “bomb?” I Asked Incredulously.

This Is My Brain: O This Is My Brain After Making Out With Fang: * It's Very Sad.

Yes. I Owed My Life, Angel's Life, And My Mother's Life To A Mutant's Ability To Create Industrial-strength Snot.

Angel Is Right,"said Dr. G-h Quickly. "this Is My Clumsy Way Of Demonstrating." "demonstrating What?" I Was Barely Able To Keep A Snarl Out Of My Voice. "how To Get Yourself Beat Up In One Easy Step?

I Did Know That The Book Would End With A Mind-boggling Trial, But I Didn't Know Exactly How It Would Turn Out. I Like A Little Suspense When I Am Writing, Too.

I Love Movies And I Like A Lot Of Good Television. At The End Of The Project, I Don't Care If They Changed [it From The Book], I Just Want To Look At It And Go, "i Loved That. That Really Turned Out Well."

What I Said Yesterday Didn't Mean Anything! I Love Everyone In The Flock! Plus, It Was The Valium Talking!" "uh-huh. You Just Keep Telling Yourself That. You Looove Me." Max: (tries To Punch Him) "pick A Tree. I'll Go Carve Our Initials In It." Max: (screams And Runs Into Bathroom)

I Wouldn’t Trust You If You Were The Last Life Raft Leaving The Titanic.”-max

Listen Up,” I Said Urgently. “it’s Time To Round Up Your Gear. I’m Gonna Check In With Patrick, And Then We’re Getting The Flock Out Of Here.” Ha-ha.

Angel Wanted Them All To Burn In H-e- Double Toothpicks Forever.

Once I Was Seated, I Couldn't Help People-watching. I'll Admit It, I'm An Addict From Way Back.

If You're In The Room, I Want To Be Next To You. If You're Gone, I Think About You. You're Who I Want To Talk To. In A Fight, I Want You At My Back. When We're Together The Sun Is Shining. When We're Apart, Everything Is In Shades Of Gray.

A Classroom . People Trying To Stick Me In Classrooms Was Becoming As Predictable And Annoying As People Trying To Kill Me, But With Less-fun Results.

Hi, Max," She Said, Pushing Her Shades Up Onto Her Curls. "i Hope Your Wearing Sunscreen," I Said, “your Gonna Have Hella Wrinkles By The Time Your Ten.” “want Some Daiquiri?” She Offered, Pointing At A Blender. “is It Traitor Flavored?” I Asked.

I Believe We Should Spend Less Time Worrying About The Quantity Of Books Children Read And More Time Introducing Them To Quality Books That Will Turn Them On To The Joy Of Reading And Turn Them Into Lifelong Readers.

I Mean,he Decided We'd Be Better Apart,you Know?it Wasn't A Joint Decision.like, If Your Gonna Make A Decision About Me And My Life Without Consulting Me,i'd Better Be Dying And Unconscious And You'd Better Be Following Carefully Written Instructions.

So There You Have It, The Extent Of My Charms: Brown Hair And Eyes Like Unbarfed Chocolate. I'm A Lucky Girl." -max

We'll All Go Out Together When We Go. Yes, We'll All Go Out Together When We Go. Oh, How The World Will Die From Great Fire In The Sky. Yes, We'll All Go Out Together When We Go." (total) Call Me Old Fashioned But I'll Take 'she'll Be Coming 'round The Mountain' Any Day.

I’ve Been Listening To How The Roman Empire Fell And All I Can Say Is, It Didn’t Fall Nearly Fast Enough!”-iggy

Does Anything On You Work Properly?" Asked Ter Borcht. "well, I Do Have A Highly Developed Sense Of Irony." Replied Iggy.

If By 'miracle Kids' You Mean Innocent Test-tube Babies Whose Dna Was Forcibly Unraveled And Merged With Two Percent Avian Genes, Yeah, I Guess That Would Be Us," I Said. "because It's A Miracle That We're Not Complete Nut Jobs And Mutant Disasters.

Max?” Said The Gasman. “are Those, Um, Rats?” Lovely. “yes, Those Do Appear To Be Either Rats Or Mice On Steroids,” I Said Briskly, Trying Not To Shriek And Climb The Walls Like A Girly-girl.

Denial Is Not Just A River In Egypt.

Why Would You Let [the Tv Audiences] Build A Habit Of Going To The Cable Networks? So I Think They've Obviously Smartened Up Now, And They're Not Giving The Summer To Cable Anymore.

I Grew Up In A House Full Of Women: My Mother, Grandmother, Three Sisters, And Two Female Cats. And I Still Have The Buzz Of Their Conversations In My Head. As An Adult, I Have More Female Friends Than Male Ones: I Just Love The Way That Women Talk.

You Stand Out Like A Fart In A Church.

My Name Is Daniel, And This Is The First Volume Of My Life Story, Which, Hopefully, Will Be A Very Long And Distinguished One. Who Should You Read It? Very Good Question. Maybe Because This Is Your Planet, And You Have A Right To Know What's Actually Happening On It.

Dr. Martinez: "i Take It You Don't Want Me To Call Your Parent?" Max: "uh, No." Hello, Lab? May I Speak To The Test Tube Please?

He Grinned At Me So Unexpectedly I Forgot To Flap For A Second And Dropped Several Feet. "you Looove Me," He Crooned Smugly. Holding His Arms Out Wide, He Added, "you Love Me This Much.

Once A Bird Kid, Always A Bird Kid. - Maximum Ride Series

Fang Will Be The First To Die

Save Your World. Love It. Protect It, And Respect It And Don't Let Haters Represent It. Don't Leave The Saving To Anyone Else, Ever, Because, Exhibit A - Why, Hello There - It's Way Too Much For One Person. And If You Want To Skip Out On The Responsibility Train, My Whole Life - And Death - Will Have Been In Vain. It's Yours. It's All Yours For Taking! You're Not Going To Waste It Now, Are You?

I’m Not Comfortable In This Stadium,” I Explained, Trying To Look Calm. “i Know. And You Hate Fang Looking At Those Girls. But We’re Still Having Fun, And Fang Still Loves You, And You’ll Still Save The World. Okay?

We Is Always So Much Better Than I.

Gazzy: "what Does That Mean?" (points To Metal Plaque Warning To Stay Off The Third Rail That Said Stay Off The Third Rail!) Fang: "it Means The Third Rail Has Seven Hundred Volts Of Direct Current Running Through It. Touch It And You're Human Popcorn.

He's Gonna Be Fine," I Confirmed. Can We See Him?" Iggy Asked. Ig, I Hate To Break It To You, But You're Blind.

He Landed 10 Feet Below With A Sickening Crunch-i'm Guessing His Enhancements Didn't Allow Him To Bounce Back Up Like A Ball. We Call That A Design Flaw.

Even Needing To Get To Angel, We Couldn’t Forget The Basic Necessity Of Eating.

It's Been Said That Love Finds You When You're Ready.

Awwww, Lame, We're Not Going To Disneyworld. (said By The Amazing Talking Dog, Total)

An Unbearable Smug Look Came Over His Usually Impassive Face."uh-huh. You Just Keep Telling Youself That. You Looove Me." I Took A Swing At Him, But He Jumped Back Nimbly, And All I Did Was Jar My Left Arm, Making It Hurt. He Laughed At Me, Then Pointed At The Woods Ouside The Window."pick A Tree. I'll Go Carve Our Initials In It.

Angel Screeched With Fury And Despair To The Empty Walls Around Her. "i'm Human, Do You Hear Me? It Hurts!

His Face Flushed, And I Felt Like Cheering. "yes," He Said Stiffly. "besides De Vings." "hmm. Besides De Vings." Nudge Tapped One Finger Against Her Chin. "um..." Her Face Brightened. "i Once Ate Nine Snickers Bars In One Sitting. Without Barfing. That Was A Record!" "hardly A Special Talent," Ter Borcht Said Witheringly. Nudge Was Offended. "yeah? Let's See You Do It." ... ... "i Vill Now Eat Nine Snickers Bars," Gazzy Said In A Perfect, Creepy Imitation Of Ter Borcht's Voice, "visout Bahfing."

I Stood My Ground. "you Evil Scientist Are All The Same--evil. Count Me Out." Fang And I Brushed Past Mr. God And Walked Quickly But Smoothly To The Exit. It Was Barely Noon, And I'd Already Made A Huge Enemy. Dang, I'm Good.

Jane-sweetie, We've Talked About Your Weight-" My Mother Began. I'm Only Eight Years Old," I Said. "how About I Promise To Be Anorexic Later?

We're Famous" Iggy Whispered So Low That Fang Could Barely Hear Him. "so's Swine Flu" Fang Whispered Back.

I Don't Get A Chance To Be Funny With The Thrillers. I Like To Be Funny, And I Think I Am Really Funny. So With 'middle School: The Worst Years Of My Life', It Was Fun To Let Loose.

I Led The Way Toward The Crowd, Trying To Look Casual, Like, Fly? Me? Nah.

After All, Fnick Is Superman," Said Iggy. "shut Up, Jeff," I Said, But I Was Smiling. I Lifted Iggy's Fingers To My Face So That He Knew.

Well, It's Like I Have A Gps Inside Me," I Told Them. "one Of The Talking Ones. I Tell It Where I Want To Go, And It Tells Me, Go Twenty Miles, Turn Left, Take Exit Ninety-fourm And So One. It Can Be Pretty Bossy, Frankly. Their Eyes Widened. "really?" Said One. No You Idiot," I Said In Disgust. "i Don't Know How It Works. I Just Know It Has An Unfailing Ability To Point Me In The Opposite Direction Of A Bunch Of Boneheads.

Fang’s Hand Gently Smoothed My Hair Off My Neck. My Breath Froze In My Chest, And Every Sense Seemed Hyperalert. His Hand Stroked My Hair Again, So Softly, And Then Trailed Across My Neck And Shoulder And Down My Back, Making Me Shiver. I Looked Up. “what The Heck Are You Doing?” “helping You Change Your Mind,” He Whispered, And Then He Leaned Over, Tilted My Chin Up, And Kissed Me.

Never Underestimate The Power Of Funny, It Moves Mountains.

Congratulations. The Fact That You're Reading This Means You've Taken One Giant Step Closer To Surviving Until Your Next Birthday.

Congratulations

Well, I Get Under People's Skins. It's A Gift I Have, What Can I Say?

When Are You Going To Trust Me Max?" Asked Fang. "when I Go Completely Bonkers," I Laughed.

Gazzy: "just Ten?" Angel: "no." Gazzy: "five?" Angel: "no.

The Instructor Stared At Me With Cold, Cut-me-no-slack Determination, Then Got Into A Fighting Stance, Holding One Hand Out, Beckoning Me. "i Saw That Movie Too!"i Said."it Was Like The Coolest Movie Of All-" He Launched Himself At Me. That Was When His Day Really Went Downhill.

My, G**, He Was As Strong As A Team Of Oxen. That Would Be Strong Right?

Do You Like To Eat Things? -i Love Eating. I List It As A Hobby.

We Went Back To The Weird Institute Building. At Night There Was A Lot More Activity. Erasers Coming In Non-stop. Nice Cars, Nice Clothes, Nice Smug Faces (that I Wanted To Smash!). -fang's Blog

Hey. Not Sure What’s Going On-gonna Go Find Out. Be Careful And Don’t Do Anything Stupid. Don’t Come After Me-your Better On Your Own. See You. F I Sat On The Edge Of The Bed, Holding The Note. Okay, So Fang Had Looked Up Vague In The Dictionary And This Was What It Had Said To Write.

Here's What I Was Thinking About:1.who The New Threat Was 2.the Air Show In Mexico City 3.how To Get Total To Quit Milking His Injury, Because Enough Was Enough 4. My Mom And Half Sister Ella 5.fang 6.fang 7.fang

Can You Giggle While Racing For Your Life And Protecting A Six-year-old? I Can.

Iggy Nodded. “i’m Bummed We Couldn’t Use Big Boy,” He Said. “but I Don’t Want To Waste It. We Have To Actually See Them First. I Mean, You Do.” “maybe Tomorrow,” The Gasman Said Encouragingly. “we’ll Go See What Havoc We’ve Wreaked.” “wrought.

Hollywood Is A Peculiar Beast - People In Hollywood Are Nuts.

I Do 30 To 40 Books A Year, So It's A Fair Amount Of Reading. Back And Forth Between Nonfiction And Fiction. I Usually Have Three Or Four Things That Are Open On My Desk, On My Bed, On Audiobook In The Car.

No One Looks Like Fang-dark And Still And Dangerous, Like He's Daring You To Set Him Off. But I'd Seen Him Rocking Angel When She'd Hurt Herself; I'd Seen Him Smile In His Sleep; I'd Seen The Deep, Darkl Ight In His Eyes As He Leaned Over Me... ~max; "max"; Page 24

Fang Swerved Closer To Me, Big And Supremely Graceful, Like A Black Panther With Wings. Oh, God. I'm So Stupid. Forget I Just Said That. "he Needs A Band-aid," I Said. A Look Passed Between Me And Fang, Full Of Suppressed Humor, Relief, Understanding,love — Forget I Said That Too. I Don't Know What's Wrong With Me.

You See, One Of The Best Things About Reading Is That You'll Always Have Something To Think About When You're Not Reading.

My Thing Is When We're Doing A Movie Or Tv Show, I Just Want To Go In And Look At It And Go, "that Was Great."

Oh, My God. It Hit Me Like A Tsunami Then: How Perfect He Was For Me, How He Was Everything I Could Possibly Hope For, As A Friend, Boyfriend - Maybe Even More. He Was It For Me. There Would Be No More Looking. I Really, Really Loved Him, With A Whole New Kind Of Love I'd Never Felt Before, Something That Made Every Other Kind Of Love I'd Ever Felt Just Seem Washed Out And Wimpy In Comparison. I Loved Him With Every Cell In My Body, Every Thought In My Head, Every Feather In My Wings, Every Breath In My Lungs. And Air Sacs.

You Really Are A Scary Man,no Really! If I Had Boots I Would Be Quaking In Them.

Maybe, Beauty, True Beauty, Is So Overwhelming, It Goes Straight To Our Hearts.maybe It Makes Us Feel Emotions That Are Locked Away Inside

I'm Going To Introduce Bookshots, Which Are These Under-150-page Books That I'm Launching, And They're Under $5. They Just Launched In Australia. I Already Had A Ton Of Content, But Now Add 50 Books A Year Of Content.

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Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

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