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This Is The First Kiss That We're Both Fully Aware Of. Neither Of Us Hobbled By Sickness Or Pain Or Simply Unconscious. Our Lips Neither Burning With Fever Or Icy Cold. This Is The First Kiss Where I Actually Feel Stirring Inside My Chest. Warm And Curious. This Is The First Kiss That Makes Me Want Another.

-Suzanne Collins

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This Is The First

Suzanne Collins

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This Is The First Kiss That We're Both Fully Aware Of. Neither Of Us Hobbled By Sickness Or Pain Or Simply Unconscious. Our Lips Neither Burning With Fever Or Icy Cold. This Is The First Kiss Where I Actually Feel Stirring Inside My Chest. Warm And Curious. This Is The First Kiss That Makes Me Want Another.

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He Felt Around Desperately For A Weapon. What Did He Have? Diapers? Cookies? Oh, Why Hadn't They Given Him A Sword? He Was The Stupid Warrior, Wasn't He? His Fingers Dug In The Leather Bag And Closed Around The Root Beer Can. Root Beer! He Yanked Out The Can Shaking It With All His Might. "attack! Attack!" He Yelled.

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The Air's Warm With Hopeful Hints Of Spring In It. Spring Would Be A Good Time For An Uprising, I Think. Everyone Feels Less Vulnerable Once Winter Passes.

I'd Begun To Think That He'd Given Up On Me In The Weeks That Had Passed. Or That He No Longer Cared About Me. Hated Me Even. And The Idea Of Losing Him Forever, My Best Friend, The Only Person I'd Ever Trusted With My Secrets, Was So Painful I Couldn't Stand It.

I Say We Try It,' Says Peeta. 'katniss Is Right.' Finnick Looks At Johanna And Raises His Eyebrows. He Will Not Go Forward Without Her. 'all Right,' She Says Finally. 'it's Better Than Hunting Them Down In The Jungle, Anyway. And I Doubt They'll Figure Out Our Plan, Since We Can Barely Understand It Ourselves.

Why Am I Hopping Around Like Some Trained Dog Trying To Please People I Hate?

What Must It Be Like, I Wonder, To Live In A World Where Food Appears At The Press Of A Button?

Fine. Somebody Else Can Arrange To Get The Stupid Goat Knocked Up.

Let Them Go, I Tell Myself. Say Good-bye And Forget Them. I Do My Best, Thinking Of Them One By One, Releasing Them Like Birds From The Protective Cages Inside Me, Locking The Doors Against Their Return.

Peeta, How Come I Never Know When You're Having A Nightmare?” I Say. “i Don't Know. I Don't Think I Cry Out Or Thrash Around Or Anything. I Just Come To, Paralyzed With Terror,” He Says. “you Should Wake Me,” I Say, Thinking About How I Can Interrupt His Sleep Two Or Three Times On A Bad Night. About How Long It Can Take To Calm Me Down. “it's Not Necessary. My Nightmares Are Usually About Losing You,” He Says. “i'm Okay Once I Realize You're Here.

Enobaria Smiles At Johanna. 'don't Look So Smug,' Says Johanna. 'we'll Kill You Anyway.

Winning Means Fame And Fortune. Losing Means Certain Death. The Hunger Games Have Begun.

And There I Am, Blushing And Confused, Made Beautiful By Cinna’s Hands, Desirable By Peeta’s Confession, Tragic By Circumstance, And By All Accounts, Unforgettable.

I Mean I Know It's Cold Out Here And Not Everybody Has A Sleeping Bag. But When You Grit Your Teeth And Stick It Out Until Dawn!

One Time, My Mother Told Me That I Always Eat Like I'll Never See Food Again. And I Said, "i Won't Unless I Bring It Home." That Shut Her Up.

Never," Said Gregor. "i'll Never Get Rid Of You, No Matter How Hard I Try." It Was No Longer An Effort To Say The Words. "i Love You." "i Love You, Too," Said Luxa. After That There Was Nothing Left To Say.

In Stark Contrast To Two Nights Ago, When I Felt Peeta Was A Million Miles Away, I'm Struck By His Immediacy Now. As We Settle In, He Pulls My Head Down To Use His Arm As A Pillow; The Other Rests Protectively Over Me Even When He Goes To Sleep. No One Has Held Me Like This In Such A Long Time. Since My Father Died And I Stopped Trusting My Mother, No One Else's Arms Have Made Me Feel This Safe.

I Really Can't Think About Kissing When I've Got A Rebellion To Incite.

Finally, Peeta Turns To Pollux. "well, Then You Just Became Our Most Valuable Asset." Castor Laughs And Pollux Manages A Smile. We're Halfway Down The First Tunnel When I Realize What Was So Remarkable About That Exchange. Peeta Sounded Like His Old Self, The One Who Could Always Think Of The Right Thing To Say When Nobody Else Could... I Glance Back At Him As He Trudges Along Under His Guards, Gale And Jackson, His Eyes Fixed On The Ground, His Shoulders Hunched Forward. So Dispirited. But For A Moment, He Was Really Here.

So, Here’s What You Do. You Win, You Go Home. She Can’t Turn You Down Then, Eh?” Says Caesar Encouragingly. “i Don’t Think It’s Going To Work Out. Winning…won’t Help In My Case,” Says Peeta. “why Ever Not?” Says Caesar, Mystified. Peeta Blushes Beet Red And Stammers Out. “because…because…she Came Here With Me.

I'll Tell Them That On Bad Mornings, It Feels Impossible To Take Pleasure In Anything Because I'm Afraid It Could Be Taken Away.

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The Numbness Of His Loss Had Passed, And The Pain Would Hit Me Out Of Nowhere, Doubling Me Over, Racking My Body With Sobs. Where Are You? I Would Cry Out In My Mind. Where Have You Gone? Of Course, There Was Never Any Answer.

Do You Really Know What's Going On And If You Don't... Find Out

You Have A... Remarkable Memory." "i Remember Everything About You. You're The One Who Wasn't Paying Attention.

Remembers Everything

How Do You Bear It?” Finnick Looks At Me In Disbelief. “i Don’t, Katniss! Obviously, I Don’t. I Drag Myself Out Of Nightmares Each Morning And Find There’s No Relief In Waking.” “the More You Can Distract Yourself The Better, ” He Says. “first Thing Tomorrow, We’ll Get You Your Own Rope. Until Then Take Mine.

Panem Et Circenses" Translates Into 'bread And Circuses.' The Writer Was Saying That In Return For Full Bellies And Entertainment, His People Had Given Up Their Political Responsibilities And Therefore Their Power.

Impulsively, I Lean Forward And Kiss Him, Stopping His Word. This Is Probably Overdue Anyway Since He’s Right, We Are Supposed To Be Madly In Love.

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You Love Me. Real Or Not Real?" I Tell Him, "real.

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He Hates Me More," Says Peeta. "i Don't Think People In General Are His Sort Of Thing.

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Is That Why You Hate Me?" I Ask. "partly," She Admits. "jealousy Is Certainly Involved. I Also Think You're A Little Hard To Swallow. With Your Tacky Romantic Drama And Your Defender-of-the-helpless Act. Only It Isn't An Act, Which Makes You More Unbearable. Please Feel Free To Take This Personally.

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What About Gale?" "he's Not A Bad Kisser Either," I Say Shortly. "and It Was Okay With Both Of Us? You Kissing The Other?" He Asks. "no. It Wasn't Okay With Either Of You. But I Wasn't Asking Your Permission," I Tell Him. Peeta Laughs Again, Coldly, Dismissively. "well, You're A Piece Of Work, Aren't You?

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I'm Filled With Awe, As I Always Am, As I Watch Her Transform From A Woman Who Calls Me To Kill A Spider To A Woman Immune To Fear.

Maybe I'll Be Like The Man In The Hanging Tree Still Waiting For An Answer.' Gale Who I Have Never Seen Cry Has Tears In His Eyes. To Keep Them From Spilling Over. I Reach Forward And Press My Lips Against His. We Taste Of Heat, Ashes And Misery.

I Search His Eyes For The Slightest Sign Of Anything, Fear, Remorse, Anger. But There's Only The Same Look Of Amusement That Ended Our Last Conversation. It's As If He's Speaking The Words Again. "oh, My Dear Miss Everdeen. I Thought We Had Agreed Not To Lie To Each Other." He's Right. We Did. The Point Of My Arrow Shifts Upward. I Release The String. And President Coin Collapses Over The Side Of The Balcony And Plunges To The Ground. Dead.

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Tuck In Your Tail, Little Duck.

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I Don't Like Self-righteous People," I Say. "what's To Like?" Says Haymitch, Who Begins Sucking The Dregs Out Of The Empty Bottles.

Everything Is Happening Too Fast For Me To Process It.

So Instead Of Acknowledging Applause, I Stand There Unmoving While They Take Part In The Boldest Form Of Dissent They Can Manage. Silence. Which Says We Do Not Agree. We Do Not Condone. All Of This Is Wrong.

To Be Honest, I'm Not Much Of A Drinker. It Makes Me Sick, And I Hate That.

Smiling Is Mostly About Smiling More.

Deep In The Meadow, Hidden Far Away A Cloak Of Leaves, A Moonbeam Ray Forget Your Woes And Let Your Troubles Lay

It's Ideal Really. They Will Come Up With A Plan. No One Will Like It. Everyone Will Feel They Have Been Treated Unfairly, But Will Be Happy That Their Neighbors Feel The Same. And That Is The Nature Of Compromise. Now Let's Go Eat An Awful Lot.

I Knew It. In This Way, Peeta's Not Hard To Predict. While I Was Wallowing Around On The Floor Of That Cellar, Thinking Only Of Myself, He Was Here, Thinking Of Me. Shame Isn't A Strong Enough Word For What I Feel.

Remember, Heads High. Smiles. They're Going To Love You!

I'm Sick Of People Lying To Me For My Own Good. Because Really It's Mostly For Their Own Good.

What Happens When We Get Back? I Don't Know. I Guess We Try And Forget. I Don't Want To Forget.

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Sometimes, When I Clean A Kill, I Feed Buttercup The Entrails. He Has Stopped Hissing At Me. Entrails. No Hissing. This Is The Closest We Will Ever Come To Love.

I Wonder How She'll Make Up Her Mind." "oh, That I Do Know." I Can Just Catch Gale's Last Words Through The Layer Of Fur. "katniss Will Pick Whoever She Thinks She Can't Survive Without.

Thinking Like Your Prey. . . That's Where You Find Their Vulnerabilities.

At Some Point, You Have To Stop Running And Turn Around And Face Whoever Wants You Dead.the Hard Thing Is Finding The Courage To Do It.

It's As If I'm Finnick, Watching Images Of My Life Flash By. The Mast Of A Boat, A Silver Parachute, Mags Laughing, A Pink Sky, Beetee's Trident, Annie In Her Wedding Dress, Waves Breaking Over Rocks. Then Its Over.

Why Don't I Just Pretend I'm On Camera, Plutarch?" I Say. "yes! Perfect. One Is Always Much Braver With An Audience," He Says. "look At The Courage Peeta Just Displayed!" It's All I Can Do Not To Slap Him.

The Rat Turned His Glowing Eyes On Him, And Gregor Was Shocked By What He Saw There. The Intelligence, The Deadliness, And, Most Surprisingly, The Pain. This Rat Was Not Like Fangor And Shed. He Was Much More Complicated And Much More Dangerous. For The First Time In The Underland, Gregor Felt Completely Out Of His League. If He Fought This Rat, He Wouldn't Stand A Change. He Would Lose. He Would Be Dead.

Stay With Me. Always.

And Don't You Let Your Guard Down For A Second Because You Think Anything's Inevitable.

Caesar Flickerman Asks If The President Has A Date In Mind. "oh, Before We Set A Date, We Better Clear It With Katniss's Mother," Says The President. The Audience Gives A Big Laugh And The President Puts His Arm Around Me. "maybe If The Whole Country Puts Its Mind To It, We Can Get You Married Before You're Thirty." "you'll Probably Have To Pass A New Law," I Say With A Giggle. "if That's What It Takes," Says The President With Conspiratorial Good Humor. Oh, The Fun We Two Have Together.

While I Was Waiting...i Ate Your Lunch.

They Play In The Meadow. The Dancing Girl With The Dark Hair And Blue Eyes. The Boy With Blond Curls And Gray Eyes, Struggling To Keep Up With Her On His Chubby Toddler Legs. It Took Five, Ten, Fifteen Years For Me To Agree. But Peeta Wanted Them So Badly. When I First Felt Her Stirring Inside Of Me, I Was Consumed With A Terror That Felt As Old As Life Itself. Only The Joy Of Holding Her In My Arms Could Tame It.

Katniss, There Is No District Twelve.

Whatever It Takes To Break You.

Whatever It Takes

What Is The Worst Pain? To Me, It's Always The Pain That Is Present.

Why? Do You Find This" - He Strikes A Ridiculously Provocative Pose - "distracting?

Ladies And Gentlemen....." His Voice Is Quiet, But Mine Rings Through The Room. "let The Seventy-sixth Hunger Games Begin!

The Heat Of The Bread Burned Into My Skin, But I Clutched It Tighter, Clinging To Life.

I Pound On The Glass, Screaming My Head Off. Everyone Ignores Me Except For Some Capitol Attendant Who Appears Behind Me And Offers Me A Beverage.

My Mother Says Healers Are Born, Not Made.

You're A Painter. You're A Baker. You Like To Sleep With The Windows Open. You Never Take Sugar In Your Tea. And You Always Double-knot Your Shoelaces.

Then, In My Most Careful Handwriting, Come All The Details It Would Be A Crime To Forget. Lady Licking Prim's Cheek. My Father's Laugh. Peeta's Father With The Cookies. The Colour Of Finnick's Eyes. What Cinna Could Do With A Length Of Silk. Boggs Reprogramming The Holo. Rue Poised On Her Toes, Arms Slightly Extended, Like A Bird About To Take Flight. On And On. We Seal The Pages With Salt Water And Promises To Live Well To Make Their Death Count.

I Realize, For The First Time, How Very Lonely I've Been In The Arena. How Comforting The Presence Of Another Human Being Can Be.

Great. Now I Have To Go Back And Tell Haymitch I Want An Eighty-year-old And Nuts And Volts For My Allies. He'll Love That.

Just The Perfect Touch Of Rebellion," Says Haymitch "very Nice." Rebellion?

Your Only Defense Can Be You Were So Madly In Love You Weren't Responsible For Your Actions.

Better Not To Give In To It.

Peeta, You Were Supposed To Wake Me After A Couple Of Hours," I Say. "for What? Nothing's Going On Here," He Says. "besides, I Like Watching You Sleep. You Don't Scowl. Improves Your Looks A Lot." This, Of Course, Brings On A Scowl That Makes Him Grin.

The Evil Thing Is Inside, Not Out.

So, What Do You Think They'll Do To Him?" I Ask. Prim Sounds About A Thousand Years Old When She Speaks. "whatever It Takes To Break You.

Star-crossed Lovers Desperate To Get Home Together. Two Hearts Beating As One. Romance.

Peeta Smiles And Douses Haymitch's Knife In White Liquor From A Bottle On The Floor. He Wipes The Blade Clean On His Shirt Tail And Slices The Bread. Peeta Keeps All Of Us In Fresh Baked Goods. I Hunt. He Bakes. Haymitch Drinks. We Have Our Own Ways To Stay Busy, To Keep Thought Of Our Time As Contestants In The Hunger Games At Bay.

I Will Never Give Up If You Never Give In.

I Will Never Give Up

Remember, We're Madly In Love, So It's All Right To Kiss Me Anytime You Feel Like It.

Hunger For Love

No Matter What I Do, I'm Hurting Someone." - Katniss Everdeen

Four People Wheel Out A Huge Wedding Cake From A Side Room. Most Of The Guests Back Up, Making Way For This Rarity, This Dazzling Creation With Blue-green, White-tipped Icing Waves Swimming With Fish And Sailboats, Seals And Sea Flowers. But I Push My Way Through The Crowd To Confirm What I Knew At First Sight. As Surely As The Embroidery Stitches In Annie's Gown Were Done By Cinna's Hand, The Frosted Flowers On The Cake Were Done By Peeta's.

Aim Higher In Case You Fall Short.

Your Favorite Colour . . . It's Green?" "that's Right." Then I Think Of Something To Add. "and Yours Is Orange." "orange?" He Seems Unconvinced. "not Bright Orange. But Soft. Like The Sunset," I Say. "at Least, That's What You Told Me Once." "oh." He Closes His Eyes Briefly, Maybe Trying To Conjure Up That Sunset, Then Nods His Head. "thank You." But More Words Tumble Out. "you're A Painter. You're A Baker. You Like To Sleep With The Windows Open. You Never Take Sugar In Your Tea. And You Always Double-knot Your Shoelaces.

I Vote Yes....for Prim.

Just Last Year I Wanted To Kill Him, But Now It Is My Duty To Save Him.

It Sends Out A Very Clear Message: "mess With Us And We'll Do Something Worse Than Kill You. We'll Kill Your Children.

Scores Only Matter If They’re Very Good, No One Pays Much Attention To The Bad Or Mediocre Ones.

I'll Tell Them How I Survive It. I'll Tell Them That On Bad Mornings, It Feels Impossible To Take Pleasure In Anything Because I'm Afraid It Could Be Taken Away. That's When I Make A List In My Head Of Every Act Of Goodness I've Seen Someone Do. It's Like A Game. Repetitive. Even A Little Tedious After More Than Twenty Years. But There Are Much Worse Games To Play.

Hey, Effie, Watch This!" Says Peeta. He Tosses His Fork Over His Shoulder And Literally Licks His Plate Clean Whit His Tongue Making Loud, Satisfied Sounds. Then He Blows A Kiss Out To Her In General And Calls, "we Miss You, Effie!

And Then, When He’s Been Underwater So Long I Feel Certain He’s Drowned, His Head Pops Up Right Next To Me And I Start. “don’t Do That,” I Say. “what? Come Up Or Stay Under?” He Says. “either. Neither. Whatever

Its Not In My Nature To Go Down Without A Fight Even When Things Seem Insurmountable

They Don't Know That I'm Already Asking For The Moon.

Make Sure They Remember You.

Haymitch Abernathy

Peeta And I Had Adjoining Cells In The Capitol. We're Very Familiar With Each Other's Screams.” Annie, Who's On Johanna's Other Side, Does That Thing Where She Covers Her Ears And Exits Reality. Finnick Shoots Johanna An Angry Look As His Arm Encircles Annie. “what? My Head Doctor Says I'm Not Supposed To Censor My Thoughts. It's Part Of My Therapy,” Replies Johanna.

Fine. I'll Train. But I'm Going To The Stinking Capitol If I Have To Kill A Crew And Fly There Myself." Says Johanna. "probably Best Not To Bring That Up In Training," I Say. "but It's Nice To Know I'll Have A Ride.

I Do Think You're Mad And I'll Still Go With You.

The Berries. I Realize The Answer To Who I Am Lies In That Handful Of Poisonous Fruit. If I Held Them Out To Save Peeta Because I Knew I Would Be Shunned If I Came Back Without Him, Then I Am Despicable. If I Held Them Out Because I Loved Him, I Am Still Self-centered, Although Forgivable. But If I Held Them Out To Defy The Capitol, I Am Someone Of Worth. The Trouble Is, I Don't Know Exactly What Was Going On Inside Me At That Moment.

Yeah, We Wouldn't Want To Lose Our Little Mockingjay When She's Finally Begun To Sing.

Haymitch In My Head Full-time. Horrifying

How Are You Managing? And Don't Say You're Fine." It's True. Whatever The Opposite Of Fine Is, That's What I Am.

Isn't It Strange That I Know You'd Risk Your Life To Save Mine, But I Don't Even Know What Your Favorite Color Is?

"although Who Knows? Maybe This Will Be It, Katniss." "what?" I Ask. "the Time It Sticks. Maybe We Are Witnessing The Evolution Of The Human Race. Think About That." And Then He Asks Me If I'd Like To Perform On A New Singing Program He's Launching In A Few Weeks. Something Upbeat Would Be Good. He'll Send The Crew To My House.

What Say You, Luxa?" Said Vikus. "what Can I Say, Vikus? Can I Return To Our People And Tell Them I Withdrew From The Quest When Our Survival Hangs In The Balance?" Said Luxa Bitterly. "of Course You Cannot, Luxa. This Is Why He Times It So," Said Henry. "you Could Choose To - " Started Vikus. "i Could Choose! I Could Choose!" Retorted Luxa. " Do Not Offer Me A Choice When You Know None Exits!" She And Henry Turned Their Backs On Vikus.

What Will Break Me Into A Million Pieces So That I Am Beyond Repair, Beyond Usefulness?

So At Least Half The Victors Have Instructed Their Mentors To Request You As An Ally. I Know It Can't Be Your Sunny Personality.” “they Saw Her Shoot,” Says Peeta With A Smile. “actually, I Saw Her Shoot, For Real, For The First Time. I'm About To Put In A Formal Request Myself.” “you're That Good?” Haymitch Asks Me.

Orange? Like Effie's Hair?" I Say. "a Bit More Muted," He Says. "more Like Sunset.

I Roll My Eyes. "so When Did I Become So Special? When They Carted Me Off To The Capitol?" "no, About Six Months Before That. Right After New Year's. We Were In The Hob, Eating Some Slop Of Greasy Sae's. And Darius Was Teasing You About Trading A Rabbit For One Of His Kisses. And I Realized...i Minded.

Do It. Before They Send Those Mutts Back Or Something. I Don't Want To Die Like Cato," He Says. “then You Shoot Me," I Say Furiously, Shoving The Weapons Back At Him. "you Shoot Me And Go Home And Live With It!" And As I Say It, I Know Death Right Here, Right Now Would Be The Easier Of The Two.

And Then It Happens. Up And Down The Row, The Victors Begin To Join Hands. Some Right Away, Like The Morphlings, Or Wiress And Beetee. Others Unsure But Caught Up In The Demands Of Those Around Them, Like Brutus And Enobaria. By The Time The Anthem Plays Its Final Strains, All Twenty-four Of Us Stand In One Unbroken Line In What Must Be The First Public Show Of Unity Among The Districts Since The Dark Days. You Can See The Realization Of This As The Screens Begin To Pop Into Blackness. It's Too Late, Though. In The Confusion They Didn't Cut Us Off In Time. Everyone Has Seen.

I Wish They Were All Dead And We Were, Too. It Would Be Best." Well, There's No Good Response To That. I Can Hardly Dispute It Since I Was Walking Around With A Syringe To Kill Peeta When I Found Them. Do I Really Want Him Dead? What I Want...what I Want Is To Have Him Back.

My Mother Just Wanted Me To Forget It. So, Of Course, Every Word Was Immediately, Irrevocably Branded Into My Brain.

I Don't Care If You Got Knocked Up. I Can Still Rip Your Throat Out

This Was The Door To Both Sustenance And Sanity. And We Were Each Other's Key.

It's Strange To Be So Physically Close To Someone Who's So Distant

‎i'm Not Going Anywhere. I'm Going To Stay Right Here And Cause All Kinds Of Trouble.

I Know What Blood Poisoning Is, Katniss," Says Peeta. "even If My Mother Isn't A Healer." I'm Jolted Back In Time, To Another Wound, Another Set Of Bandages. "you Said That Same Thing To Me In The First Hunger Games. Real Or Not Real?" "real," He Says. "and You Risked Your Life Getting The Medicine That Saved Me?" "real." I Shrug. "you Were The Reason I Was Alive To Do It.

Her Name's Prim. She's Just Twelve. And I Love Her More Than Anything.

This Is No Place For A Girl On Fire.

Making Knots. Making Knots. No Word. Making Knots. Tick-tock. This Is A Clock. Do Not Think Of Gale. Do Not Think Of Peeta. Making Knots.

Finnick:" Good To See You, Peeta." Peeta:" You Be Nice To Her, Finnick. Or I Might Try And Take Her Away From You." It Could Be A Joke, If The Tone Wasn't So Cold. Everything It Conveys Is Wrong. The Open Distrust Of Finnick, The Implication That Peeta Has His Eye On Annie, That Annie Could Desert Finnick, That I Do Not Even Exist. Finnick:"oh Peeta," Says Finnick Lightly. "don't Make Me Sorry I Restarted Your Heart.

How About You, Mockingjay? You Feel Totally Safe?” “oh, Yeah. Right Up Until I Got Shot,” I Say.

Maybe I'd Think That, Too, Caesar," Says Petta Bitterly, "if It Weren't For The Baby." There. He's Done It Again.

Look How We Take Your Children And Sacrifice Them And There’s Nothing You Can Do. If You Lift A Finger, We Will Destroy Every Last One Of You. Just As We Did In District Thirteen.

I Also Want To Tell Him How Much I Already Miss Him. But That Wouldn't Be Fair On My Part.

Our Romance Became A Key Strategy For Our Survival In The Arena. Only It Wasn't Just A Strategy For Peeta.

I Wish Peeta Were Here To Hold Me, Until I Remember I'm Not Supposed To Wish That Anymore. I Have Chosen Gale And The Rebellion, And A Future With Peeta Is The Capitol's Design, Not Mine.

At The Moment, The Choice Would Be Simple. I Can Survive Just Fine Without Either Of Them.

All Those Months Of Taking It For Granted That Peeta Thought I Was Wonderful Are Over. Finally, He Can See Me For Who I Really Am. Violent. Distrustful. Manipulative. Deadly. And I Hate Him For It.

The Main Thing I Feel Is A Sense Of Relief. That I Can Give Up This Game. That The Question Of Whether I Can Succeed In This Venture Has Been Answered, Even If That Answer Is A Resounding No. That If Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures, I Am Free To Act As Desperately As I Want.

Desperate Measures

I Have Not Wept Since The Death Of My Parents," Said Luxa Quietly. "but I Am Thought To Be Unnatural In This Respect.

I Shift On To My Side And Find Myself Looking Directly Into Gale's Eyes. For An Instant The World Recedes And There Is Just His Flushed Face, His Pulse Visible At His Temple, His Lips Slightly Parted As He Tries To Catch His Breath.

I Look At Peeta And He Gives Me A Sad Smile. I Hear Haymitch's Voice. "you Could Do A Lot Worse." At This Moment, It's Impossible To Imagine How I Could Do Any Better. The Gift...it Is Perfect. So When I Rise Up On My Tiptoe To Kiss Him, It Doesn't Seem Forced At All.

Then I Dive Into My Tent Before I Do Something Stupid Like Cry.

It’s The Final Word In Camouflage. Forget Chucking Weights Around. Peeta Should Have Gone Into His Private Session With The Gamemakers And Painted Himself Into A Tree. Or A Boulder. Or A Muddy Bank Full Of Weeds.

So, In A Way, My Name Being Drawn In The Reaping Was A Real Piece Of Luck," Says Peeta.

As I Descend The Stairs, I Can’t Help Brushing My Fingers Along The Unblemished White Marble Walls. So Cold And Beautiful. Even In The Capitol, There’s Nothing To Match The Magnificence Of This Old Building. But There Is No Give To The Surface - Only My Flesh Yields, My Warmth Taken. Stone Conquers People Every Time.

Then I Know Prim Is Right, That Snow Cannot Afford To Waste Peeta's Life, Especially Now, While The Mockingjay Causes So Much Havoc. He's Killed Cinna Already. Destroyed My Home. My Family, Gale, And Even Haymitch Are Out Of His Reach. Peeta's All He Has Left. "so, What Do You Think They'll Do To Him?" I Ask. Prim Sound About A Thousand Years Old When She Speaks."whatever It Takes To Break You.

Time And Tragedy Have Forced Her To Grow Too Quickly, At Least For My Taste, Into A Young Woman Who Stitches Bleeding Wounds And Knows Our Mother Can Hear Only So Much.

Go To Sleep," He Says Softly. His Hand Brushes The Lose Strands Of My Hair Off My Forehead. Unlike The Staged Kisses And Caresses So Far, This Gesture Seems Natural And Comforting. I Don't Want Him To Stop And He Doesn't. He's Still Stroking My Hair When I Fall Asleep.

You Call That A Kiss?

Never Having Been In Love, This Is Going To Be A Real Trick. I Think Of My Parents. The Way My Father Never Failed To Bring Her Gifts From The Woods. The Way My Mother's Face Would Light Up At The Sound Of His Boots At The Door. The Way She Almost Stopped Living When He Died.

They're Betting On How Long I'll Live!' I Burst Out. 'they're Not My Friends!

The Walls Of This Elevator Are Made Of Crystal So That You Can Watch The People On The Ground Floor Shrink To Ants As You Shoot Up Into The Air. It's Exhilarating And I'm Tempted To Ask Effie Trinket If We Can Ride It Again, But Somehow That Seems Childish.

We Each Get Fifteen Minutes Before The Gamemakers To Amaze Them With Our Skills, But I Don't Know What Any Of Us Might Have To Show Them. There's A Lot Of Kidding About It At Lunch. What We Might Do. Sing, Dance, Strip, Tell Jokes. Mags, Who I Can Understand A Little Better Now, Decides She's Just Going To Take A Nap.

I'm Not Allowed To Bet, But If I Could, My Money Would Be On You.

I Trusted Him. I Put What Was Precious In Haymitch's Hands. & He Has Betrayed Me

Kind People Have A Way Of Working Their Way Inside Me And Rooting There.

Katniss....he's Still Trying To Keep You Alive.

But Collective Thinking Is Usually Short-lived. We're Fickle, Stupid Beings With Poor Memories And A Great Gift For Self-destruction.

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William Lloyd Garrison

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