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The Teen Years Are Extremely Serious And Everything Matters And Every Insult Really Hurts. I Know There Are Cliques And Bullying. And You Don't Yet understand That It Will All Go Away.

-Steve Martin

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The Teen Years Are

Steve Martin

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The Teen Years Are Extremely Serious And Everything Matters And Every Insult Really Hurts. I Know There Are Cliques And Bullying. And You Don't Yet understand That It Will All Go Away.

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I Would Get Records By Earl Scruggs... I Would Tune My Banjo Down And I'd Pick Out The Songs Note By Note. Learned How To Play That Way. I Persevered. There Was A Book Written By Pete Seeger, Who Showed You Some Basic Strumming And Some Basic Picking... And I Kind Of Worked Out My Own Style Of Playing.

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So Much Emotion Can Be Brought In An Animated Film That's Very Hard To Get In A Live-action Film. I Haven't Quite Put My Finger On Why, But It Might Be Because The Characters Can Make Facial Expression That, If You Made Them In A Movie, They'd Call Them Corny.

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Thankfully, Perseverance Is A Good Substitute For Talent.

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I Just Downloaded Eleven Hundred Books Onto My Kindle, And Now I Can’t Lift It.

Always...no Wait...never.

When Someone Less Capable Is Ahead Of Me, I Am Not Pleased. It Makes Me Insane.

Acting Has Helped Me Understand People, Not Only Because You Are Acting As A Character, But Also Because You Are Watching Other Actors Work. That Really Helps You Identify In Life When Someone Is Acting, Not Being True.

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I Am A Wild And Crazy Guy!

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As Much As I Remember, I Just Thought, I Want To Sing A Song That Starts Normal And Ends Crazy.

All I've Ever Wanted Was An Honest Week's Pay For An Honest Day's Work.

She Looked Down Again And I Was Stymied. I Sat. Oh, This Was Enough To Make Me Love Her, Because I Was Right With Her, Understanding Every Second And Longing To Step In. I Didn’t Even Need To Know The Specific That Was Troubling Her, Because To Me Her Halting Voice Easily Stood For The General Woe That Hangs In The Air, Even On Life’s Happiest Days.

I Believe Ronald Reagan Can Make This Country What It Once Was... An Arctic Region Covered With Ice.

To Have Someone Play Off And Be With A Band Is More Pleasurable.

They Want Me On The Television Shows Now Because I Did So Well On Celebrity Assholes.

Mirabelle Is Not Affected By A Man’s Failures To Approach Her, As Her Own Self-depreciating Attitude Never Allows The Idea That He Would In The First Place.

There Is Something Going On Now In Mexico That I Happen To Think Is Cruelty To Animals. What I'm Talking About, Of Course, Is Cat Juggling.

[her] Mind Blackens. The Blackness Is Not A Thought, But If It Could Be Pressed Into A Thought, If A Chemical From A Dropper Could Be Dripped Onto It Causing Its Color And Essence To Become Visible, It Would Take The Shape Of This Sentence: Why Does No One Want Me?

Boy, Those French: They Have A Different Word For Everything!

You Can't Really Conduct Your Life By One Or Two Phrases.

I Just Wanted To Be In Show Business. I Didn't Care If I Was Going To Be An Actor Or A Magician Or What. Comedy Was A Point Of The Least Resistance, Really. And On The Simplest Level, I Loved Comedy.

... You're Nuts But You're Welcome Here.

Mirabelle Is Attractive; It's Just That She Is Never The First Or Second Girl Chosen.

It Was Easier To Sell A Painting That Was Not For Sale.

Lots Of Women Are Getting Involved. They're Not Satisfied Just Being Passengers Anymore.

As A Human Being On Earth, You Can't Imagine Friendship Not Being Important In Some Other Solar System Or Some Other Planet, Or Some Other Context Of Beings That Are Conscious. We Even See It In Animals. It Is Important For People On Earth To Reach Out Or Reach Into Someone.

When I Die, Now Don't Think That I'm A Nut, Don't Want No Fancy Funeral, Just One Like Old King Tut.

A Girl Who Is Willing To Give Every Ounce Of Herself To Someone, Who Could Never Betray Her Lover, Who Never Suspects Maliciousness Of Anyone, And Whose Sexuality Sleeps In Her, Waiting To Be Stirred.

When The Person Beside You Is Making You Alert And Keen And The Idea Of Being With Anyone Else Is Not Imaginable.

The Banjo Is Such A Happy Instrument--you Can't Play A Sad Song On The Banjo - It Always Comes Out So Cheerful.

I'm Not Trying To Be A Big Shot Or Anything Like That, But I Get My Drinks Half Price.

You Know, You're Really Nobody In L.a. Unless You Live In A House With A Really Big Door.

College Totally Changed My Life. It Changed What I Believe And What I Think About Everything. I Majored In Philosophy.

Through The Years, I Have Learned There Is No Harm In Charging Oneself Up With Delusions Between Moments Of Valid Inspiration.

There Are Few Takers For The Quiet Heart.

I Like All Kinds Of Music. I Listen To Abigail Washburn, The Punch Brothers, And Marc Johnson, The Great Clawhammer Player. I Also Listen A Lot To Sirius Radio, There's A Lot Of Bluegrass There.

Halle Berry Is Here, Whose Win Last Year Broke Down Barriers For Unbelievably Hot Women.

First The Doctor Told Me The Good News: I Was Going To Have A Disease Named After Me.

If You Saw Her In These Moments, You Might Think She Was Collecting Her Thoughts In Order To Go Forward. But I See It Another Way: Her Mind Is Being Overwhelmed By Two Processes That Must Simultaneously Proceed At Full Steam. One Is To Deal With And Live In The Present World. The Other Is To Re-experience And Mourn Something That Happened Long Ago. It Is As Though Her Lightness Pulls Her Toward Heaven, But The Extra Gravity Around Her Keeps Her Earthbound.

I've Run Into People In My Life Who Were So Dramatic; People Who Are So Extreme And So Frustrating To Be Around That You End Up Thinking About Them And Talking About Them For Literally Years After Your Experience With Them Is Over.

The Only Thing That Bothers Me Is If I'm In A Restaurant And I'm Eating And Someone Says, 'hey, Mind If I Smoke?' I Always Say, 'no. Mind If I Fart?

I Was Very Vulnerable To Criticism For Many Years. I Could Read A Bad Review And Remember It My Whole Life.

The Greatest Thing You Can Do Is Surprise Yourself.

He Gave Her His Phone Number, In A Peculiar Reversal Of Dating Procedure. She Might Have Considered Kissing Him, Even After The Horrible First Date, But He Just Didn’t Seem To Know What To Do. However, Jeremy Does Have One Outstanding Quality. He Likes Her. And This Quality In A Person Makes Them Infinitely Interesting To The Person Who Is Being Liked.

If You've Got A Dollar And You Spend 29 Cents On A Loaf Of Bread, You've Got 71 Cents Left; But If You've Got Seventeen Grand And You Spend 29 Cents On A Loaf Of Bread, You've Still Got Seventeen Grand. There's A Math Lesson For You.

When I Was In College, I Was Debating To Try My Hand At Show Business, Or To Become A Professor. I Just Thought Of The Risk Of Not Going Into Show Business And Always Wondering If I Would've Had A Chance. Because That's Where My Real Heart Was.

Acting Is Collaborative Because You Are Working With Another Actor, And It's Almost Like A Two-man Juggling Team. You Have To Really Be In Sync.

It's Not The Size Of The Nose That Matters, It's What's Inside That Counts.

A Day With Out Sun Shine Is Like..........night

I Was Raised With "laurel And Hardy" And "i Love Lucy" And Jerry Lewis, And I Just Loved It. And I Had A Friend In High School And We Would Just Laugh All Day And Put On Skits. You Know, It's The Andy Kaufman Thing Or The Marty Short Thing Where You're Performing In Your Bedroom For Yourself.

I'm 48. For A While After 'the Jerk' (movie) I Had A Feeling Of Failure. I Was A Little Scared. First People Discover You And They Love You. You Get Big And Then You Fail. And People Are Glad That You Fail. But I've Always Come Back And I've Started To Trust Myself.

...the Divided World Of Aspen, Where Locals With A Sense Of Entitlement Were Pitted Against Developers With A Sense Of Condominiums.

I Can Understand The Drug Thing. So They Feel That It's More Important To Take The Drugs Than To Do A Good Show For The People.

There's No Better Way To Learn Something Than To Learn It In Front Of An Audience. Your Terror Drives You.

I Didn't Come From A Wealthy Family. I Had No Money. Maybe It Goes Back To Naivete Which Is Your Greatest Asset When You're Young. If I Was Starting In Comedy Today And If It Didn't Work The First Time, I'd Probably Quit. But I Kept At It, Kept At It.

I Cannot Smell Mothballs Because It's So Difficult To Get Their Little Legs Apart.

What Is A Movie Star? A Movie Star Is Many Things. They Can Be Tall, Short, Thin, Or Skinny. They Can Be Democrats... Or Skinny.

You Have To Get Comfortable [with Your Work], You Really Have To Know What You're Doing, And It Has To Be Almost Boring To You To Be Able To Do It Well.

I'm Enamored With The Art World. Anytime You Look At Anything That's Considered Artistic, There's A Commercial World Around It: The Ballet, Opera, Any Kind Of Music. It Can't Exist Without It.

In My Banjo Show With The Steep Canyon Rangers, I Do Do Comedy During That Show. It'd Be Absurd Just To Stand There Mute And Play 25 Banjo Songs.

Some People Have A Way With Words, And Other People...oh, Uh, Not Have Way.

Love Is A Promise Delivered Already Broken.

His View Of The World Is One That Keeps His Blood Pressure Low, Sweeping The Cholesterol From His Relaxed, Freeway-sized Arteries. Everyone Knows He Is Going To Live Till Age Ninety, Although The Question That Goes Begging Is, “for What?

The Environment Changed With Martha Stewart And Enron.

I Feel Good About Being Able To Take Bluegrass On To Television Like 'letterman' And 'the View,' And I've Heard Nice Things About Being Able To Do That. I Really Haven't Felt Any Negativity Toward Me Or My Music.

Acting Keeps Me Alert To People, And Life. I Don't Know, There's Something About Going To Work Early In The Morning, And Having To Stay Alert And Concentrated. Maybe That Keeps Your Mind Alive.

No Matter How Many Times People Say It - 'oh, I'm Just Writing This For Myself' 'oh, I'm Just Doing This For Myself' - Nobody's Doing It For Themselves! You're Doing It For An Audience. So Whether I'm Performing Or Writing A Book Or Playing Music, It's Definitely To Be Put Out There And To Be Received In Some Way, Definitely.

I Don't Think Comic Timing Is The Same As Music Timing, But I Definitely Find That I've Learned From Just Writing In General That Songs Can Be Narrative Without Having A Story.

I Was Always Very Shy But As I Get Older I Think, What Am I Being Shy For? You Just Grow Weary Of Your Own Hang-ups.

Home To Me Is When Someone Comes Up To Me And Says, "can I Get A Selfie?" No. It's Where Your Wife And Your Family Are. It's The Emotional Place Where You Feel Like You're Not Away From It.

Were They Beautiful? We Were All Beautiful. We Were In Our Twenties.

The Streets Of L.a. Undulate Over Short Hills As Though A Finger Is Poking The Landscape From Underneath ... Laid Over This Crosshatch Are Streets Meandering On The Diagonal Creating A Multitude Of Ways To Get From One Place To Another By Traveling Along The Hypotenuse. These Are The Avenues Of The Tryst Which Enable Acting Student A To Travel The Eighteen Miles Across Town To Acting Student B's Garage Apartment In Nine Minutes Flat After A Hot-blooded Phone Call At Midnight.

You Know When You're Telling These Little Stories? Here's A Good Idea: Have A Point. It Makes It So Much More Interesting For The Listener!

I Was Not Naturally Talented. I Didn't Sing, Dance Or Act, Though Working Around That Minor Detail Made Me Inventive.

Writing Is Something I Took Up Rather Than Anything I Had An Inclination Toward. I Like Acting -delivering Someone Else's Message - But Writing Is More Of An Accomplishment.

Anyone Who's Ever Worked With Meryl Streep Always Says The Same Thing: Can That Woman Act! And What's With All The Hitler Memorabilia?

Stand-up Life Is Really Hard. At One Point, I Got So Paralyzed I Could Write Five Screenplays Before I Could Write Three Jokes For Stand-up. Later, I've Finally Allowed Myself To Relax Quite A Bit, To Think I Can Do It Because I've Done It In The Past. The Pressure To Come Up With The Material Is The Same But The Anxiety About Whether I Can Do It Is Gone.

There's A Big Difference Between The National Book Awards And The Academy Awards. At The Academy Awards You Can Feel The Greed And Envy And Ego. Whereas The National Book Awards Are In New York.

I Thought If I Had A Twitter Feed And Say I Had A Following Of A 100,000, That Means 100,000 Of Them Would Be Interested In My Book. It Was Logical, But It Didn't Turn Out To Be True. It Turned Out If I Had A Twitter Feed Of A 100,000, Four Of Them Were Interested In My Book.

I Had Loved Magic Tricks From The Time I Was Six Or Seven. I Bought Books On Magic. I Did Magic Acts For My Parents And Their Friends. I Was Aiming For Show Business From Early Days, And Magic Was The Poor Man's Way Of Getting In: You Buy A Trick For $2, And You've Got An Act.

I Find Animated Movies Very Touching. They Reach An Audience That's Hard To Get With A Live-action Film.

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