Background Image

...

The Problem With The Press Is That They Can't Tell The Difference Between A Bicycle Crash And The End Of Civilization.

-George Bernard Shaw

...

Please Wait....
Translating....

The Problem With The

George Bernard Shaw

...

The Problem With The Press Is That They Can't Tell The Difference Between A Bicycle Crash And The End Of Civilization.

Views: 10

Topic

More From George Bernard Shaw

I Find That The Moment I Let A Woman Make Friends With Me, She Becomes Jealous, Exacting, Suspicious, And A Damned Nuisance. I Find That The Moment I Let Myself Make Friends With A Woman, I Become Selfish And Tyrannical.

Beware Of The Man Who Does Not Return Your Blow: He Neither Forgives You Nor Allows You To Forgive Yourself.

The Heretic Is Always Better Dead. And Mortal Eyes Cannot Distinguish The Saint From The Heretic.

We Want A Few Mad People Now. See Where The Sane Ones Have Landed Us!

I Sing, Not Arms And The Hero, But The Philosophic Man: He Who Seeks In Contemplation To Discover The Inner Will Of The World, Ininvention To Discover The Means Of Fulfilling That Will, And In Action To Do That Will By The So-discovered Means.

Once The Divinity We Worshipped Made Itself Visible And Comprehensible, We Crucified It.

Capitalism Has Destroyed Our Belief In Any Effective Power But That Of Self Interest Backed By Force. But Even Capitalist Cynicism Will Admit That However Unconscionable We May Be When Our Own Interests Are Affected, We Can Be Most Indignantly Virtuous At The Expense Of Others.

Why Should We Take Advice On Sex From The Pope? If He Knows Anything About It, He Shouldn't!

All Roads End At The Grave, Which Is The Gate To Nothingness.

Vitality Is A Woman Is A Blind Fury Of Creation.

You Must Not Suppose, Because I Am A Man Of Letters, That I Never Tried To Earn An Honest Living.

I Am Enclosing Two Tickets To The First Night Of My New Play; Bring A Friend... If You Have One.

You Cannot Learn To Skate Without Making Yourself Ridiculous - The Ice Of Life Is Slippery.

Live In Contact With Dreams And You Will Get Something Of Their Charm: Live In Contact With Facts And You Will Get Something Of Their Brutality. I Wish I Could Find A Country To Live In Where The Facts Were Not Brutal And The Dreams Not Real.

Perhaps The Greatest Social Service That Can Be Rendered By Anybody To The Country And To Mankind Is To Bring Up A Family. But Here Again, Because There Is Nothing To Sell, There Is A Very General Disposition To Regard A Married Woman's Work As No Work At All, And To Take It As A Matter Of Course That She Should Not Be Paid For It.

An Actress Is Not A Lady; At Least, When She Is, She Is Not An Actress.

They Tell Me That So-and-so, Who Does Not Write Prefaces, Is No Charlatan. Well, I Am. I First Caught The Ear Of The British Public On A Cart In Hyde Park, To The Blaring Of Brass Bands,and This . . . Because . . . I Am A Natural-born Mountebank.

My Mother Married A Very Good Man ... And She Is Not At All Keen On My Doing The Same.

Well, Sir, You Never Can Tell. That's A Principle In Life With Me, Sir, If You'll Excuse My Having Such A Thing.

If You Begin By Sacrificing Yourself To Those You Love, You Will End By Hating Those To Whom You Have Sacrificed Yourself.

What Use Are Cartridges In Battle? I Always Carry Chocolate Instead.

Do Not Try To Live Forever. You Will Not Succeed.

The More Things A Man Is Ashamed Of, The More Respectable He Is.

The Technical History Of Modern Harmony Is A History Of Growth Of Toleration By The Human Ear Of Chords That At First Sounded Discordant And Senseless To The Main Body Of Contemporary Professional Musicians.

Instead Of Otello Being An Italian Opera Written In The Style Of Shakespeare, Othello Is A Play Written By Shakespeare In The Style Of Italian Opera.

You Accepted Allah Or You Had Your Throat Cut By Someone Who Did Accept Him, And Who Went To Paradise For Having Sent You To Hell.

I Was Taught When I Was Young That If People Would Only Love One Another, All Would Be Well With The World. I Found When I Tried To Put That Into Practice, Not Only Were Other People Seldom Lovable But I Wasn't Very Lovable Myself.

You Can Rave About Stravinsky Without The Slightest Risk Of Being Classified As A Lunatic By The Next Generation .

I Must ... Warn My Readers That My Attacks Are Directed Against Themselves, Not Against My Stage Figures.

Ireland, Sir, For Good Or Evil, Is Like No Other Place Under Heaven, And No Man Can Touch Its Sod Or Breathe Its Air Without Becoming Better Or Worse.

Becoming Better

I Lay My Eternal Curse On Whomsoever Shall Now Or At Any Time Hereafter Make Schoolbooks Of My Works And Make Me Hated As Shakespeare Is Hated. My Plays Were Not Designed As Instruments Of Torture. All The Schools That Lust After Them Get This Answer, And Will Never Get Any Other.

A Man Ought To Be Able To Be Fond Of His Wife Without Making A Fool Of Himself About Her.

If The Announcer Can Produce The Impression That He Is A Gentleman, He May Pronounce As He Pleases.

If Associations To Control Burglary And Murder Were Tolerated We Should Take It For Granted That The Members Should All Be Burglers And Murderers.

An Englishman Thinks He Is Moral When He Is Only Uncomfortable.

A Man's Interest In The World Is Only The Overflow From His Interest In Himself. When You Are A Child Your Vessel Is Not Yet Full;so You Care For Nothing But Your Own Affairs. When You Grow Up, Your Vessel Overflows; And You Are A Politician, A Philosopher, Or An Explorer And Adventurer. In Old Age The Vessel Dries Up: There Is No Overflow: You Are A Child Again.

Wise Kings Wear Shabby Clothes, And Leave The Gold Lace To The Drum Major.

Greatness Is One Of The Sensations Of Littleness

Ye Poor Posterity, Think Not That Ye Are The First. Other Fools Before Ye Have Seen The Sun Rise And Set, And The Moon Change Her Shape And Her Hour. As They Were So Ye Are; And Yet Not So Great; For The Pyramids My People Built Stand To This Day; Whilst The Dustheaps On Which Ye Slave, And Which Ye Call Empires, Scatter In The Wind Even As Ye Pile Your Dead Sons' Bodies On Them To Make Yet More Dust.

In Gambling The Many Must Lose In Order That The Few May Win.

Let No One Suppose That The Words Doctor And Patient Can Disguise From The Parties The Fact That They Are Employer And Employee.

There Is Nothing In Religion But Fiction.

A Sensitive Boy's Humiliations May Be Very Good Fun For Ordinary Thick-skinned Grown-ups; But To The Boy Himself Theyareso Acute, So Ignominious, That He Cannot Confess Themcannot But Deny Them Passionately.

If At Age 20 You Are Not A Communist Then You Have No Heart. If At Age 30 You Are Not A Capitalist Then You Have No Brains.

What The World Calls Originality Is Only An Unaccustomed Method Of Tickling It.

General Consultant To Mankind.

Marry Ann; And At The End Of A Week You'll Find No More Inspiration In Her Than In A Plate Of Muffins.

Life Is Not Meant To Be Easy, My Child; But Take Courage: It Can Be Delightful.

I Find It Easy To Forgive The Man Who Invented A Devilish Instrument Like Dynamite, But How Can One Ever Forgive The Diabolical Mind That Invented The Nobel Prize In Literature?

Principles Without Programs Are Platitudes.

No Man Fully Capable Of His Own Language Ever Masters Another.

It Is The Mark Of A Truly Intelligent Person To Be Moved By Statistics.

A Dinner! How Horrible! I Am To Be Made The Pretext For Killing All Those Wretched Animals And Birds, And Fish! Thank You For Nothing. Now If It Were To Be A Fast Instead Of A Feast; Say A Solemn Three Days' Abstention From Corpses In My Honour, I Could At Least Pretend To Believe That It Was Disinterested. Blood Sacrifices Are Not In My Line

A Book Is Like A Child: It Is Easier To Bring It Into The World Than To Control It When It Is Launched There.

All Censorships Exist To Prevent Anyone From Challenging Current Conceptions And Existing Institutions. All Progress Is Initiated By Challenging Current Conceptions, And Executed By Supplanting Existing Institutions. Consequently, The First Condition Of Progress Is The Removal Of Censorship.

The Most Sublime Courage I Have Ever Witnessed Has Been Among That Class Too Poor To Know They Possessed It, And Too Humble For The World To Discover It.

My Schooling Not Only Failed To Teach Me What It Professed To Be Teaching, But Prevented Me From Being Educated To An Extent Which Infuriates Me When I Think Of All I Might Have Learned At Home By Myself.

The Secret To Success Is To Offend The Greatest Number Of People.

Congratulations

My Only Policy Is To Profess Evil And Do Good.

Patriotism Is Your Conviction That This Country Is Superior To All Others Because You Were Born In It.

Those Who Admire Modern Civilization Usually Identify It With The Steam Engine And The Electric Telegraph.

There Is A Disease To Which Plays As Well As Men Become Liable With Advancing Years. In Men It Is Called Doting, In Plays Dating.the More Topical The Play The More It Dates.

No Severity Of Punishment Deters When Detection Is Uncertain, As It Always Must Be.

Though All Society Is Founded On Intolerance, All Improvement Is Founded On Tolerance.

Let Wife And Child Perish, And Lay Bricks For Your Last Crust, Rather Than Part With An Iota Of Your [copy]rights.

As People Get Their Opinions So Largely From The Newspapers They Read... But The Press Is Not Free, The Newspapers Are Owned By Rich Men.

The Only Way For A Woman To Provide For Herself Decently Is For Her To Be Good To Some Man That Can Afford To Be Good To Her.

Only On Paper Has Humanity Yet Achieved Glory, Beauty, Truth, Knowledge, Virtue, And Abiding Love.

A Man Thinking Or Working Is Always Alone, Let Him Be Where He Will.

Life Is A First Draft... With No Rewrite.

A Man Of Genius Is Not A Man Who Sees More Than Other Men Do. On The Contrary, It Is Very Often Found That He Is Absentminded Andobserves Much Less Than Other People.... Why Is It That The Public Have Such An Exaggerated Respect For Him--after He Is Dead? The Reason Is That The Man Of Genius Understands The Importance Of The Few Things He Sees.

The Fickleness Of The Women I Love Is Only Equalled By The Infernal Constancy Of The Women Who Love Me.

Heartbreak Is Life Educating Us.

But A Mother Is Like A Broomstick Or Like The Sun In The Heavens, It Does Not Matter Which As Far As One's Knowledge Of Her Is Concerned: The Broomstick Is There And The Sun Is There; And Whether The Child Is Beaten By It Or Warmed And Enlightened By It, It Accepts It As A Fact In Nature, And Does Not Conceive It As Having Had Youth, Passions, And Weaknesses, Or As Still Growing, Yearning, Suffering, And Learning.

A Government That Robs Peter To Pay Paul Can Always Depend On The Support Of Paul.

We Should Have Had Socialism Already, But For The Socialists, Am Quite Willing To Drop The Name If Dropping It Will Help Me To Get The Thing.

The Only Service A Friend Can Really Render Is To Keep Up Your Courage By Holding Up To You A Mirror In Which You Can See A Noble Image Of Yourself.

Brains Are Not Everything.

The First Prison I Ever Saw Had Inscribed On It Cease To Do Evil: Learn To Do Well; But As The Inscription Was On The Outside, The Prisoners Could Not Read It.

It Is Not Pleasure That Makes Life Worth Living. It Is Life That Makes Pleasure Worth Having.

Life Worth Living

You Can Be A Thorough-going Neo-darwinian Without Imagination, Metaphysics, Poetry, Conscience, Or Decency. For 'natural Selection' Has No Moral Significance: It Deals With That Part Of Evolution Which Has No Purpose, No Intelligence, And Might More Appropriately Be Called Accidental Selection, Or Better Still, Unnatural Selection, Since Nothing Is More Unnatural Than An Accident. If It Could Be Proved That The Whole Universe Had Been Produced By Such Selection, Only Fools And Rascals Could Bear To Live.

In The Right Key One Can Say Anything. In The Wrong Key, Nothing: The Only Delicate Part Is The Establishment Of The Key.

The Nation's Morals Are Like Its Teeth: The More Decayed They Are The More It Hurts To Touch Them.

Assassination On The Scaffold Is The Worst Form Of Assassination.

Even The Youngest Of Us May Be Wrong Sometimes.

You See Things; And You Say, ‘why?’ But I Dream Things That Never Were; And I Say, ‘why Not?

Our Political Experiment Of Democracy, The Last Refuge Of Cheap Misgovernment.

Make It A Rule Never To Give A Child A Book You Would Not Read Yourself.

Everything I Eat Has Been Proved By Some Doctor Or Other To Be A Deadly Poison, And Everything I Don't Eat Has Been Proved To Be Indispensable For Life. But I Go Marching On.

Oh, Come! That Boot Is On The Other Leg. Why Should You Call Me To Account For Eating Decently? If I Battened On The Scorched Corpses Of Animals, You Might Well Ask Me Why I Did That

Vegetarian Diet

My Heart, My Heart, Be Whole And Free: Love Is Thine Only Enemy.

Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions, Not With Bad Ones. All Men Mean Well.

I No Longer Desire Happiness: Life Is Nobler Than That.

I Enjoy Convalescence. It Is The Part That Makes The Illness Worth While.

We All Go About Longing For Love: It Is The First Need Of Our Natures, The Loudest Cry Of Our Hearts.

Imprisonment Is As Irrevocable As Death.

The Price Of Ability Does Not Depend On Merit But On Supply And Demand.

Liquor Is The Chloroform Which Enables The Poor Man To Endure The Painful Operation Of Living.

England And America Are Two Countries Separated By The Same Language.

It Is Always Necessary To Overstate A Cast Startlingly To Make People Sit Up And Listen To It, And To Frighten Them Into Acting On It.

What Is Life But A Series Of Inspired Follies.

Americans Adore Me And Will Go On Adoring Me Until I Say Something Nice About Them.

There Is Nothing So Bad Or So Good That You Will Not Find Englishmen Doing It; But You Will Never Find An Englishman In The Wrong. He Does Everything On Principle. He Fights You On Patriotic Principles; He Robs You On Business Principles; He Enslaves You On Imperial Principles; He Bullies You On Manly Principles; He Supports His King On Loyal Principles And Cuts Off His King's Head On Republican Principles.

Perhaps I Had Better Inform My Protestant Readers That The Famous Dogma Of Papal Infallibility Is By Far The Most Modest Pretension Of The Kind In Existence. Compared With Our Infallible Democracies, Our Infallible Medical Councils, Our Infallible Astronomers, Our Infallible Judges, And Our Infallible Parliaments, The Pope Is On His Knees In The Dust Confessing His Ignorance Before The Throne Of God, Asking Only That As To Certain Historical Matters On Which He Has Clearly More Sources Of Information Open To Him Than Anyone Else His Decision Shall Be Taken As Final.

Except During The Nine Months Before He Draws His First Breath, No Man Manages His Affairs As Well As A Tree Does.

The Camera Can Represent Flesh So Superbly That, If I Dared, I Would Never Photograph A Figure Without Asking That Figure To Take Its Clothes Off.

When A Heretic Wishes To Avoid Martyrdom He Speaks Of "orthodoxy, True And False" And Demonstrates That The True Is His Heresy.

Statistics Show That Of Those Who Contract The Habit Of Eating, Very Few Survive.

If We Have Come To Think That The Nursery And The Kitchen Are The Natural Sphere Of A Woman, We Have Done So Exactly As English Children Come To Think That A Cage Is The Natural Sphere Of A Parrot: Because They Have Never Seen One Anywhere Else.

You're Only A Beginner; And What You Think Is Love, And Interest, And All That, Is Not Real Love At All: Three Quarters Of It Is Only Unsatisfied Curiosity.

I Never Climbed Any Ladder: I Have Achieved Eminence By Sheer Gravitation.

Men Trifle With Their Business And Their Politics But Never Trifle With Their Games. It Brings Truth Home To Them. They Cannot Pretend They Have Won When They Have Lost Nor That They Had A Magnificent Drive When They Foozled It. The Englishman Is At His Best On The Links And At His Worst In The Cabinet.

Plato Long Ago Pointed Out The Importance Of Being Governed By Men With Sufficient Sense Of Responsibility And Comprehension Of Public Duties To Be Very Reluctant To Undertake The Work Of Governing.

In My Dreams Is A Country Where The State Is The Church And The Church The People: Three In One And One In Three. It Is A Commonwealth In Which Work Is Play And Play Is Life: Three In One And One In Three. It Is A Temple In Which The Priest Is The Worshiper And The Worshiper The Worshipped: Three In One And One In Three. It Is A Godhead In Which All Life Is Human And All Humanity Divine: Three In One And One In Three.

Our Laws Make Law Impossible; Our Liberties Destroy All Freedom; Our Property Is Organized Robbery; Our Morality An Impudent Hypocrisy; Our Wisdom Is Administered By Inexperienced Or Mal-experienced Dupes; Our Power Wielded By Cowards And Weaklings; And Our Honour False In All Its Points. I Am An Enemy Of The Existing Order For Good Reasons

The Whole World Is Strewn With Snares, Traps, Gins And Pitfalls For The Capture Of Men By Women.

Revolutionary Moments Attract Those Who Are Not Good Enough For Established Institutions As Well As Those Who Are Too Good For Them.

Not Good Enough

Love Is A Simple Thing And A Deep Thing: It Is An Act Of Life And Not An Illusion. Art Is An Illusion.

I Am Justified. For I Chose Wisdom And The Knowledge Of Good And Evil ; And Now There Is No Evil; And Wisdom And Good Are One. It Is Enough.

Every Profession Is A Conspiracy Against The Laity.

A Man Who Desires To Get Married Should Know Everything Or Nothing.

Importance Of Being Earnest

When Our Relatives Are At Home, We Have To Think Of All Their Good Points Or It Would Be Impossible To Endure Them.

A Modern Gentleman [rich Person] Is Necessarily The Enemy Of His Country. Even In War He Does Not Fight To Defend It, But To Prevent His Power Of Preying On It From Passing To A Foreigner.

Every Doctor Will Allow A Colleague To Decimate A Whole Countryside Sooner Than Violate The Bond Of Professional Etiquette By Giving Him Away.

I've Posed Nude For A Photographer In The Manner Of Rodin's Thinker, But I Merely Looked Constipated.

Those Who Won't Hesitate To Vivisect, Won't Hesitate To Lie About It As Well.

Reading Made Don Quixote A Gentleman, But Believing What He Read Made Him Mad.

A Woman Whose Face Looked As If It Had Been Made Of Sugar And Someone Had Licked It.

The Real Brahms Is Nothing More Than A Sentimental Voluptuary

Liberty Means Responsibility. That Is Why Most Men Dread It.

All Dress Is Fancy Dress, Is It Not, Except Our Natural Skins?

We Must Not Stay As We Are, Doing Always What Was Done Last Time, Or We Shall Stick In The Mud. Yet Neither Must We Undertake A New World As Catastrophic Utopians, And Wreck Our Civilization In Our Hurry To Mend It.

Remember That I Too Am Mortal.

Give Women The Vote, And In Five Years There Will Be A Crushing Tax On Bachelors.

A Love Affair Should Always Be A Honeymoon. And The Only Way To Make Sure Of That Is To Keep Changing The Man; For The Same Man Can Never Keep It Up.

The Best Reformers The World Has Ever Seen Are Those Who Commence On Themselves.

When You Loved Me I Gave You The Whole Sun And Stars To Play With. I Gave You Eternity In A Single Moment, Strength Of The Mountains In One Clasp Of Your Arms, And The Volume Of All The Seas In One Impulse Of Your Soul.

Stop Being Jews And Start Being Human Beings.

I Hate Performers Who Debase Great Works Of Art; I Long For Their Annihilation.

The Art Of Government Is The Organisation Of Idolatry.

Man Is Unique In That He Has Plans, Purpose And Goals Which Require The Need For Criteria Of Choice. The Need For Ethical Value Is Within Man Whose Future May Largely Be Determined By The Choice He Make

If 'pygmalion' Is Not Good Enough For Your Friends With Its Own Verbal Music, Their Talent Must Be Altogether Extraordinary.

Not Good Enough

If You Take Too Long In Deciding What To Do With Your Life, You'll Find You've Done It.

Both Optimists And Pessimists Contribute To Society. The Optimist Invents The Aeroplane, The Pessimist The Parachute.

Never Waste Jealousy On A Real Man: It Is The Imaginary Man That Supplants Us All In The Long Run.

Taxes Are The Chief Business Of A Conqueror Of The World.

This Is The True Joy In Life, The Being Used For A Purpose Recognized By Yourself As A Mighty One.

The Moment We Want To Believe Something, We Suddenly See All The Arguments For It, And Become Blind To The Arguments Against It.

You Don't Expect Me To Know What To Say About A Play When I Don't Know Who The Author Is, Do You? . . . If It's By A Good Author, It's A Good Play, Naturally. That Stands To Reason.

All Progress Depends Upon The Unreasonable Person.

Napoleon: What Shall We Do With This Soldier, Giuseppe? Everything He Says Is Wrong. Giuseppe: Make Him A General, Excellency, And Then Everything He Says Will Be Right.

Effectiveness Of Assertion Is The Alpha And Omega Of Style.

Alpha And Omega

Every Man Deserves To Be Judged In The Context Of His Times.

Dogmatic Toleration Is Nonsense: I Would No More Tolerate The Teaching Of Calvinism To Children If I Had Power To Persecute It Than The British Raj Tolerated Suttee In India. Every Civilized Authority Must Draw A Line Between The Tolerable And The Intolerable.

I Am Very Sorry, But I Cannot Learn Languages. I Have Tried Hard, Only To Find That Men Of Ordinary Capacity Can Learn Sanskrit In Less Time That It Takes Me To Buy A German Dictionary

Those Who Do Not Know How To Live Must Make A Merit Of Dying.

It Is Dangerous To Be Sincere Unless You Are Also Stupid.

It's Just As Unpleasant To Get More Than You Bargain For As To Get Less.

Hell Is A Place Where You Have Nothing To Do But Amuse Yourself.

Physically There Is Nothing To Distinguish Human Society From The Farm-yard Except That Children Are More Troublesome And Costly Than Chickens And Calves And That Men And Women Are Not So Completely Enslaved As Farm Stock.

Rebecca [west] Can Handle A Pen As Brilliantly As Ever I Could And Much More Savagely.

Women Are Called Womanly Only When They Regard Themselves As Existing Solely For The Use Of Men.

Youth, Which Is Forgiven Everything, Forgives Itself Nothing: Age, Which Forgives Itself Everything, Is Forgiven Nothing.

The More I See Of The Moneyed Classes, The More I Understand The Guillotine.

If All The Statisticians In The World Were Laid Head To Toe, They Wouldn't Be Able To Reach A Conclusion

The Roulette Table Pays Nobody Except Him That Keeps It. Nevertheless A Passion For Gaming Is Common, Though A Passion For Keeping Roulette Tables Is Unknown.

Thus, I Blush To Add, You Can Not Be A Philosopher And A Good Man, Though You May Be A Philosopher And A Great One.

God Made The World As An Artist And That Is Why The World Must Learn From Its Artists.

A Vegetarian Is Not A Person Who Lives On Vegetables, Any More Than A Catholic Is A Person Who Lives On Cats.

If The Wicked Flourish And The Fittest Survive, Nature Must Be The God Of Rascals.

Like Fingerprints, All Marriages Are Different.

Man Gives Every Reason For His Conduct Save One, Every Excuse For His Crimes Save One, Every Plea For His Safety Save One; And That One Is His Cowardice

The Great Dramatist Has Something Better To Do Than To Amuse Either Himself Or His Audience. He Has To Interpret Life.

Something Better

It Is Monstrous That Custom Should Force Us To Display Our Faces Ostentatiously, However Worn And Wrinkled And Mean They May Be, Whilst Carefully Concealing All Our Other Parts, However Shapely And Well Preserved.

What Is Self-control? It Is Nothing But A Highly Developed Vital Sense, Dominating And Regulating The Mere Appetites. To Overlook The Very Existence Of This Supreme Sense; To Miss The Obvious Inference That It Is The Quality That Distinguishes The Fittest To Survive.

The Notion That Inspiration Is Something That Happened Thousands Of Years Ago, And Was Then Finished And Done With. . . The Theory That God Retired From Business At That Period And Has Not Been Heard From Since, Is As Silly As It Is Blasphemous.

We Live In An Atmosphere Of Shame. We Are Ashamed Of Everything That Is Real About Us; Ashamed Of Ourselves, Of Our Relatives, Of Our Incomes, Of Our Accents, Of Our Opinions, Of Our Experience, Just As We Are Ashamed Of Our Naked Skins.

Vulgarity In A King Flatters The Majority Of The Nation.

In Truth , Mankind Cannot Be Saved From Without, By Schoolmasters Or Any Other Sort Of Masters: It Can Only Be Lamed And Enslaved By Them. It Is Said That If You Wash A Cat It Will Never Again Wash Itself. This May Or May Not Be True : What Is Certain Is That If You Teach A Man Anything He Will Never Learn It; And If You Cure Him Of A Disease He Will Be Unable To Cure Himself The Next Time It Attacks Him.

To Endure The Pain Of Living, We All Drug Ourselves More Or Less With Gin, With Literature, With Superstitions, With Romance, With Idealism, Political, Sentimental, And Moral, With Every Possible Preparation Of That Universal Hashish: Imagination.

The Art Of Government Is The Organization Of Idolatry. The Bureaucracy Consists Of Functionaries; The Aristocracy, Of Idols; The Democracy, Of Idolaters. The Populace Cannot Understand The Bureaucracy: It Can Only Worship The National Idols.

Do Not Mistake Your Objection To Defeat For An Objection To Fighting, Your Objection To Being A Slave For An Objection To Slavery, Your Objection To Not Being As Rich As Your Neighbor For An Objection To Poverty. The Cowardly, The Insubordinate, And The Envious Share Your Objections.

When Asked Which Dog Wins, He Reflected For A Moment And Replied, "the One I Feed The Most."

Native American

Assassination Is The Extreme Form Of Censorship; And It Seems Hard To Justify An Incitement To It On Anti-censorial Principles.

The Man With A Toothache Thinks Everyone Happy Whose Teeth Are Sound. The Poverty-stricken Man Makes The Same Mistake About The Rich Man.

Every Englishman Believes That Handel Now Occupies An Important Position In Heaven. If So, Le Bon Dieu Must Feel Toward Him Very Much As Louis Treize Felt Toward Richelieu.

What We Are Confronted With Now Is A Growing Perception That If We Desire A Certain Type Of Civilization And Culture We Must Exterminate The Sort Of People Who Do Not Fit Into It.

Happiness And Beauty Are By-products.

Happiness And Beauty

The Single Biggest Problem In Communication Is The Illusion That It Has Taken Place.

Funny Inspirational

Happy Is The Man Who Can Make A Living By His Hobby

He Who Confuses Political Liberty With Freedom And Political Equality With Similarity Has Never Thought For Five Minutes About Either.

Hell Is Not All Paved With Bad Intentions.

Schools And Schoolmasters, As We Have Them Today, Are Not Popular As Places Of Education And Teachers, But Rather Prisons And Turnkeys In Which Children Are Kept To Prevent Them Disturbing And Chaperoning Their Parent.

People Get Nothing Out Of Books But What They Bring To Them.

All Progress Depends On The Unreasonable Man.

As To Spelling The Very Frequent Word Though With Six Letters Instead Of Two, It Is Impossible To Discuss It, As It Is Outside The Range Of Common Sanity. In Comparison Such A Monstrosity As Phlegm For Flem Is Merely Disgusting.

The Way To Deal With Worldly People Is To Frighten Them By Repeating Their Scandalous Whisperings Aloud.

A Learned Man Is An Idler Who Kills Time By Study.

I Am Highly Susceptible To The Force Of All Truly Religious Music, Especially To The Music Of My Own Church, The Church Of Shelley, Michelangelo, And Beethoven.

The Liar's Punishment Is Not In The Least That He Is Not Believed, But That He Cannot Believe Anyone Else.

Trending Author

Annette Funicello

Aretha Franklin

Category