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The Exhibitionist Loves To Flirt With Shame

-Mason Cooley

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The Exhibitionist Loves To

Mason Cooley

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The Exhibitionist Loves To Flirt With Shame

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Dancers Dance Through Their Pain I Shrink From Mine.

Imprudence Relies On Luck, Prudence On Method. That Gives Prudence Less Edge Than It Expects.

I Am The Center Of The World, But The Control Panel Seems To Be Somewhere Else.

As A Comforter, Philosophy Cannot Compete With A Good Dinner.

Writing An Upbeat Aphorism Is A Temptation, But Decorum Forbids.

Critic's Delight: Scolding The Mighty Dead.

First Literature Came To Refer Only To Itself, The Literary Theory.

Literary Theory

Masks Are What They Seem To Be; Not So The Faces Beneath Them.

Consciousness Is Our Only Reprieve From Time.

Never Trust The Judgment Of An Enthusiastic Man; Never Trust The Promises Of A Lazy One.

I Do Not Regret The Folly Of My Youth, But The Timidity.

Home Again, I Can Groan, Scratch, And Talk To Myself.

I Keep Renaming My Motives, But Continue Doing The Same Things.

Mathematics: Silent Harmonies. Music: Sounding Numbers.

Mars And Venus Are At It Again. This Time, Hephaestus Is Standing By With A Private Detective, A Photographer, And A Lawyer.

I Am Now Old Enough To Make Common Cause With My Predecessors Against My Successors.

To Avoid Taking Responsibility, I Become Unresponsive But Hang On Until The Other Person Leaves Me.

Critics Are More Committed To The Rules Of Art Than Artists Are.

Alone, I Am Satisfied With Myself. With Others, I Am Beset By Troubling Comparisons.

Some Crave Grief Like Strong Drink.

When I Prayed For Success, I Forgot To Ask For Sound Sleep And Good Digestion.

My Strengths Make Me Contemptuous. My Weaknesses Make Me Charitable.

Asceticism And Celibacy Can Conceal Many Incapacities.

Full Of Troubles, The Mind Is Still The Only Garden Of Delight.

The Muse Is Blind As Cupid And Skittish As Diana.

Sincerity Guarantees Nothing But Itself.

Nature Knows No Difference Between Weeds And Flowers.

Ladies And Gentlemen Are Supposed To Be Looked After By Others, Like Children And Pets.

Clothes Make A Statement. Costumes Tell A Story.

Analysis Is More Likely To Adjust Evidence Than To Adjust Itself.

Curiosity Engenders Both Science And Scandal.

With Decrepitude, Longevity Has Overshot The Mark.

Aimless Drifting Also Fulfills An Intention.

The Facts, Even The Real Ones, Must Be Imagined Before They Can Be Stated.

After Ages Of Bombast, The Rhetoric Of Virtue Has Become Ironic And Shy.

Fear Of My Cruel Impulses Makes Me Kind.

Literature Gives Us A Memory Of Lives We Did Not Lead.

Dignity Takes Alarm At The Unexpected Sound Of Laughter.

Everyone Fears And Courts His Own Demon.

Civilization Creates Discontents; Barbarism Creates Quick Endings.

The Insignificance Of Man Is A Congenial Theme; My Own Insignificance Is A Sore Point.

Arrogance Rides Triumphantly Through The Gates, Barely Glancing At The Old Woman About To Cut The Rope And Spring Shut The Trap.

I Change My Opinions Often, But Not My Way Of Thinking.

Facts Do Not Give Advice.

To Avoid Eye Contact, Kiss.

If We Knew Enough, Fortune Would Turn Out To Be Nature.

Outside Literature, High-flown Sentiments Are Merely Exasperating.

Never Invite To Dinner: Those Who Won't Decide Until The Last Minute; Those Who Come More Than Half An Hour Late; Those Who Want To Bring Along Two Or Three Friends; Drunks; Monologists; Those Who Stay Until Three O'clock In The Morning; Those Who Think That Conversation Means Having An Argument; Those Who Take A High Moral Tone; Those Who Are Stupid, Ugly, Or Dull. Enforcement Of These Rules Will Enable One To Eat Alone Every Night In Comfort.

Sleaze Is A Point By Point Refutation Of Elegance.

Intelligence Without Power Cannibalizes Itself.

Now Defined As Art, The Totem Has Lost Cult, Taboo, And Custom.

Show Enough Regret, And Your Refusal Will Inspire Gratitude.

I Would Like To Be A Figment Of My Own Imagination, But Belly And Bowels Will Not Permit.

When Science Drove The Gods Out Of Nature, They Took Refuge In Poetry And The Porticos Of Civic Buildings.

Men And Women Would Be Even More Unhappy If They Really Understood One Another.

Fortuna Likes To Find A Crowd And Follow It.

Addicts Turn Their Pleasures Into Vengeful Gods.

Self-congratulation Pleases Only The Speaker.

Congratulations

The Sorrow Of Not Being Movie Stars Overwhelms Millions.

Logic Teaches Rules For Presentation, Not Thinking.

Old Age Likes Indecency. It's A Sign Of Life.

Age Must Give Way To Youth, No Doubt. But Not Yet, Not Yet.

The Tranquility Of My Room Partakes Too Much Of Forest Lawn.

Wit Saves Us From Being Swallowed Whole By Life.

Thinking About The Universe Has Now Been Handed Over To Specialists. The Rest Of Us Merely Read About It.

The Puritan Sours His Pleasures By Disguising Them As Duties.

Why Do We Never Expect Dull People To Be Rascals?

Health Can Be Squandered, But Not Stored Up.

To Be Sexy, Nudes Need A Little Underwear.

A Laughing Lear Would Be Monstrous. Not So A Laughing Romeo And Juliet.

Self-analysis Always Cheats.

Necessity Makes Heroes Of Us All.

God May Be A Human Creation, But He Goes His Way, Not Ours.

To Understand Someone, Find Out How He Spends His Money.

Dirty Old Men, Ignoring Society, Continue To Follow Nature.

An Adolescent Is Both An Impulsive Child And A Self-starting Adult.

I May Forget My Dignity, But You May Not.

My Love Grows Wide And Shallow In An Effort To Spread My Losses.

The Negative Always Wins At Last, But I Like It None The Better For That.

In The Labyrinth Of A Difficult Text, We Find Unmarked Forks In The Path, Detours, Blind Alleys, Loops That Deliver Us Back To Our Point Of Entry, And Finally The Monster Who Whispers An Unintelligible Truth In Our Ears.

Wealth Makes The Laws That Poverty Must Obey.

Man Invented The Gods. Then The Gods Went Off On Their Own, But Not Far.

Even Alone We Go On Justifying Ourselves.

Laughter And Tears May Not Persuade, But They Cannot Be Refuted.

The Best Propaganda Omits Rather Than Invents

A Well-paid Occupation Is Seldom Spoken Of As "rewarding.

Prudence Does Not Save Us, But Shows Us Pictures Of Our Destroyers.

Illusions Are Hazardous, And So Are Disillusions.

Disillusionment

Reading Gives Us Someplace To Go When We Have To Stay Where We Are.

Pornography And Cooking Shows Have Created Two New Spectator Sports.

The Beloved Is The Ultimate Fetish.

Indifference Is An Excellent Substitute For Patience.

Listening To People Keeps Them Entertained.

We Worship The Aesthetic, But We Do Not Have Faith In It.

In Middle Age, I Practiced Feeling Old, But The Real Thing Has Been A Rude Surprise.

In The Great Cities, Winter Glitters With Art And Feasting. But Poetry, The Country Cousin, Sees Only The Dearth Of The Fields.

The Lyric Deals With Love And Sorrow, The Aphorism With Contradiction And Deceit.

Many Gloat Over Their Own Troubles.

Procrastination Makes Easy Things Hard, Hard Things Harder.

Procrastination

Nostalgia Paints A Smile On The Stony Face Of The Past.

Human Nature Is A Scoundrel's Favorite Explanation.

Middle Age Went By While I Was Mourning For My Lost Youth.

The Self-righteous Rule Out The Possibility That They Are What Has Gone Wrong.

To Postpone Unpleasantness Is Human; To Forget It Is Divine.

Don't Stare Into A Mirror When You Are Trying To Solve A Problem.

Hatred Of The Mother Is Familiar, But The Mother's Hatred Still Comes As A Surprise.

When I Am Bored With Myself, I Try To Find Someone To Listen To Me.

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The Family Is On Its Way Out; Couples Go Next; Then No More Keeping Cats Or Parrots.

Wisdom Is Founded On Memory; Happiness On Forgetfulness.

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Life Is Struggle And Sleep.

Kindness Eases Everything Almost As Much As Money Does.

Scholarship Can Find Little To Say About The Obvious.

We Often Mistake The Original Part Of Ourselves For A Weakness.

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Old Age Learns About Less After A Lifetime Of More.

Natural Man, In Our Current Version, Is A Disgruntled Adolescent.

Travelers Never Think That They Are The Foreigners.

The Writer Is Always Courted By Invitations From The All-too- Familiar.

Your Vanity And My Vanity Will Never Be Friends.

As A Child I Was Told By My Parents That I Was Happy, But I Did Not Believe Them.

Funerals Prove That Someone Is Really Gone.

Wisdom Has Lost Repute Because It So Often Applies To A State Of Affairs That No Longer Exists.

The Egg Is The Symbol Of Perfection. Do You Want An Egg?

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Imagination Awakens Ambition, Then Causes It To Lose Its Way.

Treat Unhappiness As A Defect And Fewer Would Embrace It.

Office Politics Are Bloody-minded, But Weak On Content.

Chastity Is Now Treated As A Sexual Problem.

Fears And Lies Intensify Consciousness.

Bad Faith Makes The Most Of Every Ambiguity.

A Frog In Love Would Not Be Enchanted To Learn That Her Beloved Had Turned Into Prince Charming.

Good Manners Can Render Even Virtue Tolerable.

The Haiku Lets Meaning Float; The Aphorism Pins It Down.

Methodology Gives Those With No Ideas Something To Do.

Even In Rapture, Part Of The Mind Watches.

Being Enthusiastic Settles Nothing.

Rescue Someone Unwilling To Look After Himself, And He Will Cling To You Like A Dangerous Illness.

I Deplore My Shortcomings, But Plan To Keep Them.

Journalism Never Admits That Nothing Much Is Happening.

Art Seduces, But Does Not Exploit.

Was There A Little Time Between The Invention Of Language And The Coming Of True And False?

Until I Am Ready To Lose Weight, I Cannot See How Fat I Am.

Do Not Wait For A Reason To Be Happy.

Reading A Great Book Causes Jolts And Frights.

The Real Reality Is Always Just Around The Corner.

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I Pursue Pleasure, But Stingily, Suspiciously.

The Morose One Refuses To Smile Even When He Has Just Had His Teeth Cleaned.

Always Clamping Down On Excitement Is Not Self-control But Fear.

Like Other High Subjects, The Law Gives No Ground To Common Sense.

Tales Of Adultery Are Much Improved By Period Costumes.

Drunks Conjure An Endless Drama From Their Bottles.

I Must Like My Profession, Since I Can Hardly Distinguish Myself From It.

Moderation In All Things Is Best, But It's Pretty Hard To Get Excited About It.

Universal Truths Have Become An Embarrassment, But They Won't Quite Go Away.

I Seldom Remember My Father, But I Sneeze And Rub My Nose The Way He Did. I Also Love My Son With Grief And Anger, As He Did.

The Man Of Sensibility Is Too Busy Talking About His Feelings To Have Time For Good Deeds.

The Only Peace Is Being Out Of Earshot.

I Win On My Merits; My Opponents Win By Cheating.

People Who Expect Deference Resent Mere Civility.

I Criticize Myself Ruthlessly, But Never Mention The Faults Of Which I Am Truly Ashamed.

When A Paradox Is Widely Believed, It Is No Longer Recognized As A Paradox.

Without A Little Negligence, Life Would Be Intolerable.

Living Too Long Exacts A Painful Price.

Self-pity Dries Up Our Sympathy For Others.

If We Think About The Obvious Long Enough, It Dissolves.

When Courtesy Fails, Be Nasty, Brutish, And Short.

Giving Out Crowns To Everyone Will Not Make A Nation Of Kings.

Enjoy The Insult As You Deliver It, Before You Learn Its Cost.

As Children, Our Protests Availed Little. As Adults, The Same.

Do As You Like--if You Know What It Is.

I Answered My Father's Demands For Sympathy With Silence.

People Invent Gods To Explain Their Suffering.

The Etiquette Of Romantic Love Is As Elaborate As That Surrounding The Emperor Of China.

Scholars Dream Of Finding Small Facts Pregnant With Great Progeny.

Paradox Implies That Stating A Contradiction Disposes Of It.

Scepticism Is Always A Back Road Leading To Some Credo Or Other.

Creativity Makes A Leap, Then Looks To See Where It Is.

Like Other Secret Lovers, Many Speak Mockingly About Popular Culture To Conceal Their Passion For It.

Old Men Feel A Slightly Reluctant Affection For One Another.

Imagination Has Rules, But We Can Only Guess What They Are.

A Budget Takes The Fun Out Of Money.

Looking Backward At What Has Been Lost, I Feel Sad, Then Indifferent, And At Last Relieved.

Lack Of Reciprocity Ruins Friendships, But Makes Love Affairs Exciting For A Time.

The Gods Are Watching, But Idly, Yawning.

Courage, Determination, And Hard Work Are All Very Nice, But Not So Nice As An Oil Well In The Back Yard.

All History And Art Are Against Us, But We Still Expect Happiness In Love.

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A Real Idea Keeps Changing And Appears In Many Places.

Children Pay Little Attention To Their Parents' Teachings, But Reproduce Their Characters Faithfully

Like Love, Grief Fades In And Out.

I Resist Change Even As I Call For It.

Sorrow Also Fulfills Desire. Example: The Soaps.

Placing The Extraordinary At The Center Of The Ordinary, As Realism Does, Is A Great Comfort To Us Stay-at-homes.

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