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Stacy Schiff Is That Rare Combination: A First-rate Historian And A Brilliant Storyteller. Using A Wide Range Of Sources, She Spins Straw Into Gold, Conjuring The World Of Ptolemaic Egypt In Full Vibrant Color, And Returning The Voice Of One Of The Most Powerful, Fascinating, And Maligned Women In History. Cleopatra Is Impossible To Put Down.

-Rick Riordan

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Stacy Schiff Is That

Rick Riordan

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Stacy Schiff Is That Rare Combination: A First-rate Historian And A Brilliant Storyteller. Using A Wide Range Of Sources, She Spins Straw Into Gold, Conjuring The World Of Ptolemaic Egypt In Full Vibrant Color, And Returning The Voice Of One Of The Most Powerful, Fascinating, And Maligned Women In History. Cleopatra Is Impossible To Put Down.

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He Gave Me The Brochure. It Was About The Hunters Of Artemis. The Front Read, A Wise Choice For Your Future! Inside Were Pictures Of Young Maidens Doing Hunter Stuff, Chasing Monsters, Shooting Bows. There Were Captions Like: Health Benefits: Immortality And What It Means For You! And A Boy-free Tomorrow! "i Found That In Annabeth's Backpack," Grover Said. I Stared At Him. "i Don't Understand." "well, It Seems To Me… Maybe Annabeth Was Thinking About Joining." I'd Like To Say I Took The News Well. The Truth Was, I Wanted To Strangle The Hunters Of Artemis One Eternal Maiden At A Time.

Nothing Lasts Forever, Not Even The Best Machines. And Everything Can Be Reused. - Hephaestus

Leo Grabbed The Neasrest Thing He Could Find- A Porta-potty Seat- And Threw It At The Face. Leve Me Alone!

The Eidolons Started Pounding On The Door. 'who Is It?' Leo Called. 'valdez!' 'valdez Who?

I Saw 'the 39 Clues' As A Potential Vehicle For Doing Some Education In A Fun Way - To Take Some Of These Amazing Stories From History, Dust Them Off And Make Them Alive.

Why Won't You Drown?" He Wailed, Pummeling Me With His Fists. "i'm Poseidon's Son," I Said. "curse That Upstart! I Was Here First!

I Stepped Forward. Call Me Old-fashioned, But I Wanted To Keep His Focus On Me And Not Annabeth. I Think It’s Polite For A Guy To Protect His Girlfriend From Instant Incineration.

Honestly, I Thought I Was Going To Be A Kite Forever, Suffocating Inside A Little Feathery Prison. And He Had The Nerve To Make Fun!

Are You Crazy?" "probably

With My Sister Perched On My Arm, I Walked To The Elevator. A Business Man With A Rolling Suitcase Was Waiting By The Doors. His Eyes Widened As He Saw Me. I Must’ve Looked Pretty Strange—a Tall Black Kid In Dirty, Ragged Egyptian Clothes, With A Weird Box Tucked Under One Arm And A Bird Of Prey Perched On The Other. “how’s It Going?” I Said. “i’ll Take The Stairs.” He Hurried Off.

June Cackled With Delight, Muttering, "whoops!" As A Car Almost Killed Them.

Love Is Powerful. It Can Bring The Gods To Their Knees.

A Person's Shadow Stood For His Legacy, His Impact On The World. Some People Cast Hardly Any Shadow At All. Some Cast Long, Deep Shadows That Endured For Centuries.

The Last Time I'd Seen The Minotaur, He'd Been Wearing Nothing But His Tighty Whities. I Don't Know Why. Maybe He'd Been Shaken Out Of Bed To Chase Me.

Now The Tattoos," Zia Announced. "brilliant!" I Said. "on Your Tongue," She Added. "excuse Me?

The Best People Have The Rottenest Luck

That Was So Completely Unfair That I Told Tantalus To Go Chase A Donut, Which Didn't Help His Mood.

I Remembered The Myth About Andromeda And How She Had Been Chained To A Rock By Her Own Parents As A Sacrifice To A Sea Monster. Maybe She'd Gotten Too Many F's On Her Report Card Or Something.

Alabaster, You Told Me Earlier That Heroes Don't Die. You May Be Right, But I Can Tell You One Thing." Claymore Looked The Boy In The Eyes. "i'm Not A Hero.

So Mortals Tend To See Only What They Can Understand.

I Tell Aspiring Writers That You Have To Find What You Must Write. When You Find It, You Will Know, Because The Subject Matter Won’t Let You Go. It’s Not Enough To Write Simply Because You Think It Would Be Neat To Be Published. You Have To Be Compelled To Write. If You’re Not, Nothing Else That You Do Matters.

Mugged By My Own Mother.

How Old Is She Now?" He Asked. "hard To Say. She Was A Tree For A While. Now She's Immortal.

So, You Wrecked Alcatraz Island, Made Mount St. Helens Explode, And Displaced Half A Million People, But At Least You're Safe." "yep, That Pretty Much Covers It.

Glancing Back I Got My First Clear Look At The Monster. He Was Seven Feet Tall, Easy, His Arms And Legs Like Something From The Cover Of Muscle Man Magazine-bulging Biceps And Triceps And A Bunch Of Other 'ceps, All Stuffed Like Baseballs Under Vein-webbed Skin. He Wore No Clothes Except Underwear-i Mean, Bright White Fruit Of The Looms.

Very Well! It Shall Be As You Say. But My Son, Pray This Works. I Am Praying. I'm Talking To You, Right? Oh...yes. Good Point. Amphitrite - Incoming!

I Can See Hope Inside It." Rachel Ran Her Fingers Over The Ceramic Designs. "so Fragile.

I'm Not Good With Children," The God Confessed. "or People. Well, Any Organic Life Forms, Really.

Leo Dropped Into The Pool And Approched The Cage. "hola, Tia. Little Bit Of Trouble?" She [hera] Crossed Her Arms And Sighed In Exasperation. "don't Inspect Me Like I'm One Of Your Machines, Leo Valdez. Get Me Out Of Here!

Die Human, Die!! Die Nasty Polluting Person!!!!' Yelled Grover. I Turned Him So He Faced Me. He Kept On Clicking His Plastic Gun Towards Me As If I Was Part Of The Game.

She Sacrificed Her Life To Make Things Right," Mitchell Grumbled. "she[silena Beuregard] Was A Hero

Make Things Right

Because I Know You, Percy Jackson. In Many Ways, You Are Impulsive, But When It Comes To Your Friends, You Are As Constant As A Compass Needle. You Are Unswervingly Loyal, And You Inspire Loyalty. You Are The Glue That Will Unite The Seven.

That’s Us,” He Said. “those Five Nuts Right There.” Which One Is Me?” I Asked. The Little Deformed One,” Zoe Suggested. Oh, Shut Up.

It Wasn't Exactly Like Talking, But It Went Something Like This: Could You Give Us A Ride North, Percy Asked, Like As Close To Portland As Possible? Eat Seals, The Whale Responded. Are You Seals? No, Percy Admitted. I've Got A Man Satchel Full Of Macrobiotic Beef Jerky, Though. The Whale Shuddered. Promise Not To Feed Me This, And I Will Take You North. Deal.

So...your Name Means Mr.underwear." -frank

Oh, Did You Expect Me To Play Fair?" Cupid Laughed. "i Am The God Of Love. I Am Never Fair.

You're A Stalker With Hooves." -percy Jackson

Well, Actually It Carried Cadmus. Europa Fell Off And Died Along The Way, But That's Not Important.' It Was Probably Important To Her.

Poseidon Grinned. "you're Doing Well With Those New Cabins, By The Way. I Suppose This Means I Can Claim All Those Other Sons And Daughters Of Mine And Send You Some Siblings Next Summer." "ha-ha." Poseidon Reeled In His Empty Line. I Shifted My Feet. "um, You Were Kidding, Right?" Poseidon Gave Me One Of His Inside-joke Winks, And I Still Didn't Know Whether He Was Serious Or Not.

Keep A Demon Busy, I Thought. Right. Maybe He Fancies A Game Of Tiddlywinks.

Save Yourselves!" Percy Warned. "it Is Too Late For Us!" Then He Gasped And Pointed To The Spot Where Frank Was Hiding. "oh No! Frank Is Turning Into A Crazy Dolphin!" Nothing Happened. "i Said," Percy Repeated, "frank Is Turning Into A Crazy Dolphin." Frank Stumbled Out Of Nowhere, Making A Big Show Of Grabbing His Throat. "oh No," He Said, Like He Was Reading From A Teleprompter, "i Am Turning Into A Crazy Dolphin.

This Is Graceland. Home Of The Most Famous Musician In The World.” “michael Jackson Lived Here?” “no, Dummy,” Carter Said. “elvis Presley.

You Can Tell The Future?' 'more Like The Future Mugs Me From Time To Time.' Rachel Said 'i Speak Prophecies. The Oracle Spirit Kind Of Hijacks Me Once In A While, And Speaks Important Stuff That Doesn't Make Any Sense To Anybody. But Yeah, The Prophecies Tell The Future.

Me? I Slept Like The Dead, Which I Hoped Wasn’t A Sign Of Things To Come.

The Way To Beat Luke," He Said. "if I'm Right, It's The Only Way You'll Stand A Chance." I Took A Deep Breath. "okay. I'm Listening." Nico Glanced Inside My Room. His Eyebrows Furrowed. "is That...is That Blue Birthday Cake?" He Sounded Hungry, Maybe A Little Wistful. I Wondered If The Poor Kid Had Ever Had A Birthday Party, Or If He'd Ever Even Been Invited To One. :come Inside For Cake And Ice Cream," I Said. "it Sounds Like We've Got A Lot To Talk About.

The Cafe Windows Wrapped All The Way Around The Observation Floor, Which Gave Us A Beautiful Panoramic View Of The Skeleton Army That Had Come To Kill Us.

Happy Birthday!' I Yelled, 'now, Shut Up!

A Tiny Dark Object Came Sailing Out Of The Window And Landed At The Giant's Feet. Polybotes Yelled, "grenade!" He Covered His Face. His Troops Hit The Ground. When The Thing Did Not Explode, Polybotes Bent Down Cautiously And Picked It Up. He Roared In Outrage. "a Ding Dong? You Dare Insult Me With A Ding Dong?" He Threw The Cake Back At The Shop, And It Vaporized In The Light.

Ever Hold Your Hand Over A Torch (sorry, A Flashlight For You Americans).

My Glowing Form Was So Heavy, Its Feet Sank Into The Top Of The Tank. “sekhmet!” I Yelled. The Lioness Whirled And Snarled, Trying To Locate My Voice. “up Here, Kitty!” I Called. She Spotted Me And Her Ears Went Back. “horus?” ‘unless You Know Another Guy With A Falcon Head.

Seriously, Who Has Monogrammed Pajamas?

Percy Is The Most Powerful Demigod I've Ever Met. No Offense To You Guys But It's True.

Your Head Is Full Of Kelp.

Enemy Giants Moved Towards The Breech, And Tyson Picked Up The Fallen Warrior’s Club. He Yelled Something To His Fellow Blacksmiths – Probably ‘for Poseidon!’ – But With His Mouth Full Of Peanut Butter It Sounded Like, ‘puh Pteh Bun.’ His Brethren All Grabbed Hammers And Chisels, Yelled, ‘peanut Butter!’ And Charged Behind Tyson Into Battle.

I Don’t Leave Her Speechless Very Often. I Have To Enjoy Those Rare Moments.

My Name Is Zia Rashid.” She Tilted Her Head As If Listening. Right On Cue, The Entire Building Rumbled. Dust Sprinkled From The Ceiling, And The Slithering Sounds Of Scorpion Doubled In Volume Behind Us. “and Right Now,” Zia Continued, Sounding A Bit Disappointed, “i Must Save Your Miserable Lives.

All I Could Think To Say Was, "the Lakers Are My Home Team!

Five Shall Go West To The Goddess In Chains, One Shall Be Lost In The Land Without Rain, The Bane Of Olympus Shows The Trail, Campers And Hunters Combined Prevail, The Titan's Curse Must One Withstand, And One Shall Perish By A Parent's Hand

Go Chase A Donut. -percy Jackson.

Gods Forbid If She Ever Broke Up With Him. She'd Never Be Able To Visit The Sea Again Without Remembering Her Broken Heart. Annabeth About Percy

We Don’t Have Much Time. Mel Will Be Out Of The Restroom Soon.” “you’ve Got A Magician Named Mel?

Artemis Smiled. "you Have Done Well, My Lieutenant. You Have Made Me Proud, And All Those Hunters Who Perished In My Service Will Never Be Forgotten. They Will Achieve Elysium, I Am Sure." She Glared Pointedly At Hades. He Shrugged. "probably." Artemis Glared At Him Some More. Okay," Hades Grumbled. "i'll Streamline Their Application Process.

When She Kissed Me, I Had The Feeling My Brain Was Melting Right Through My Body.

You Have To Rise Above The Squabbling And Chaos, And Keep Believing. You Have To Always Keep Your Goals In Mind.” -hera, Goddess Of Marriage

Thanks For Not Freaking Out," I Said. "oh, I'm Freaking Out," Paul Promised, His Eyes Wide. "i Just Think It's Awesome!

I Nodded, Looking At Rachel With Respect. "you Hit The Lord Of The Titans In The Eye With A Blue Plastic Hairbrush.

Calm Down, Horus Said. "don't Tell Me To Calm Down!" Bast Frowned. "i Didn't." "talking To Him!" I Pointed At My Forehead.

Percy Yelled. "what's Going- Gah! Shrimpzilla!

And In The Fountain Squatted A Giant Crab. I’m Not Talking ‘giant’ Like $7.99 All-you-can-eat Alaskan King Crab. I’m Talking ‘giant’ Like Bigger Than The Fountain.

Elections Only Happen In Two Ways," Reyna Said. "either The Legion Raises Someone On A Shield After A Major Success On The Battlefield-and We Haven't Had Any Major Battles-or We Hold A Ballot On The Evening Of June 24, At The Feast Of Fortuna. That's In Five Days." Percy Frowned. "you Have A Feast For Tuna?

'are You Guys Busy?' Juniper Asked. 'well,' I Said, 'we're In The Middle Of This Game Against A Bunch Of Monsters And We're Trying Not To Die.' 'we're Not Busy,' Annabeth Said.

I Gave Her A Smile That I Hoped Conveyed Something Like: Hey, You Know I’m On Your Side. Gods Are Such Jerks! But What Can You Do? Probably My Expression Actually Conveyed: It’s Not My Fault! Please Do Not Kill Me!

You, Sir, Are A Ray Of Sunshine. -percy Jackson

Ray Of Sunshine

My Modus Operandi Hasn't Really Changed That Much From When I Was An English Teacher. I Wanted My Students To Leave My Classroom Loving Reading And Wanting To Read More, And If They Left My Classroom Thinking That Reading Is Boring, Then I Haven't Done My Job.

Hello!” The Girl In The Blood-red Dress Beamed At Leo. “are You Dionysus?” There Was Only One Answer To That. “yes!” Leo Yelped. “absolutely. I Am Dionysus.

Annabeth’s Hand Slipped Into Mine. Under Different Circumstances I Would’ve Been Embarrassed, But Here In The Dark I Was Glad To Know Where She Was. It Was About The Only Thing I Was Sure Of.

Nut Shrugged. "set Had Always Been Set, For Better Or Worse. But He Is Still Part Of Our Family. It Is Difficult To Lose Any Member Of Your Family . . . Is It Not?

But Not Like This: Not With The House Just An Afterimage, And My Mom A Spirit, And My Dad...recycled." "carter Kane, Chapter 41

I Thought About All The Things I Was Suddenly Able To Do—like Fight With A Sword And Summon A Magical Shell Of Armor. Those Were Not Things I Covered In Home School.

Naturally, Coach Hedge Went Ballistic; But Percy Found It Hard To Take The Satyr Seriously Since He Was Barely Five Feet Tall. "never In My Life!" Coach Bellowed, Waving His Bat And Knocking Over A Plate Of Apples. "against The Rules! Irresponsible!" "coach," Annabeth Said, "it Was An Accident. We Were Talking, And We Fell Asleep." "besides," Percy Said, "you're Starting To Sound Like Terminus." Hedge Narrowed His Eyes. "is That An Insult, Jackson? 'cause I'll—i'll Terminus You, Buddy!

Looking Up In The Sky, I Saw The Stars Were Brighter Now. They Made A Pattern I Had Never Noticed Before- A Gleaming Constellation That Looked A Lot Like A Girls Figure- A Girl With A Bow, Running Across The Sky. "let The World Honor You, My Huntress. Live Forever In The Stars.

It Wasn’t Easy Looking Dignified Wearing A Bed Sheet And A Purple Cape.

'harry Potter' Opened So Many Doors For Young Adult Literature. It Really Did Convince The Publishing Industry That Writing For Children Was A Viable Enterprise. And It Also Convinced A Lot Of People That Kids Will Read If We Give Them Books That They Care About And Love.

Suspecting And Knowing Are Not The Same.

People Usually Asked Her If She Had A Belly Button. Of Course She Had A Belly Button. She Couldn't Explain How. She Didn't Really Want To Know.

Life Is Only Precious Because It Ends, Kid. Take It From A God. You Mortals Don't Know How Lucky You Are

It Was If The City Knew About Percy's Dream Of Gaea. It Knew That The Earth Goddess Intended On Razing All Human Civilization, And This City, Which Had Stood For Thousands If Years, Was Saying Back At Her: You Wanna Dissolve This City, Dirt Face? Give It A Shot. In Other Words, It Was The Coach Hedge Of Mortal Cities- Only Taller.

Wisdom's Daughter Walks Alone. That Didn't Just Mean Without Other People, Annabeth Realized. It Meant Without Any Special Powers.

Coach Hedge Grunted Like He Was Pleased To Have An Excuse. He Unclipped The Megaphone From His Belt And Continued Giving Directions, But His Voice Came Out Like Darth Vader's. The Kids Cracked Up. The Coach Tried Again, But This Time The Megaphone Blared: "the Cow Says Moo!

We Were Alone In A Strange Mansion With A Baboon, A Crocodile, And A Weird Cat. And Apparently, The Entire World Was In Danger. I Looked At Sadie. “what Do We Do Now?

Wouldn't That Put A Twist In Your Toga?

The Others Strapped Themselves Below - Except For Coach Hedge, Who Insisted On Clinging To The Forward Rail, Yelling, "yeah! Bring It On, Lake!

You Are One Freaking Awesome Baboon.

You Never Know!” Neith Snapped. “the Point Is, I’ll Survive The Apocalypse. I Can Live Off The Land!” She Jabbed A Finger At Me. “did You Know The Palm Tree Has Six Different Edible Parts?” “um—” “and I’ll Never Be Bored,” Neith Continued, “since I’m Also The Goddess Of Weaving. I Have Enough Twine For A Millennium Of Macramé!” I Had No Reply, As I Wasn’t Sure What Macramé Was.

Now, My Brethren!" Poseidon's Voice Was So Loud I Wasn't Sure If I Was Hearing It From The Smoke Image Or From All The Way Across Town. "strike For Olympus!

The Cyclopes Growled, "i Don't See Very Well Since The Last Hero Poked My Eye Out, But You're... No... Lady... Cyclopes!

I Imagined Having That Bronzed Dragon In Our Fight Against The Titan Lord Kronos. His Monsters Would Think Twice About Attacking Camp If They Have To Face That Thing. On The Other Hand, If The Dragon Decided To Go Berserk Again And Attack The Campers-that Would Pretty Much Stink.

Travis: I Didn’t Know They Made Permanent Makeup. I Looked Like A Clown For A Month. Connor: Yeah. They Put A Curse On Me So That No Matter What I Wore, My Clothes Were Two Sizes Too Small And I Felt Like A Geek. Travis: You Are A Geek.

Thalia Had Been Turned Into A Pine Tree When She Was 12. Me... Well, I Was Doing My Best Not To Follow Her Example. I Had Nightmares About What Poseidon Might Turn Me Into If I Were Ever In The Verge Of Death—plankton, Maybe. Or A Floating Patch Of Kelp.

Mythologically Speaking, If There's Anything I Hate Worse Than Trios Of Old Ladies, It's Bulls. Last Summer, I Fought The Minotaur On Top Of Half-blood Hill. This Time What I Saw Up There Was Even Worse: Two Bulls. And Not Just Regular Bulls - Bronze Ones The Size Of Elephants. And Even That Wasn't Bad Enough. Naturally They Had To Breathe Fire, Too.

Frank Stared At Her. "but You Throw Ding Dongs At Monsters." Iris Looked Horrified. "oh, They're Not Ding Dongs." She Rummaged Under The Counter And Brought Out A Package Of Chocolate Covered Cakes That Looked Exactly Like Ding Dongs. "these Are Gluten-free, No-sugar-added, Vitamin-enriched, Soy-free, Goat-milk-and-seaweed-based Cupcake Simulations." "all Natural!" Fleecy Chimed In. "i Stand Corrected." Frank Suddenly Felt As Queasy As Percy.

If I Were A Flowerpot, I Would've Checked My Hair. ~carter Kane

No Matter How Many Times Percy Killed Them And Watched Them Crumble To Powder, They Just Kept Re-forming Like Large Evil Dust Bunnies.

And, Whoa!" He Turned To Mr.d. "your The Wine Dude? No Way!" Mr.d Turned Hi Eyes Away From Me And Gave Nico A Look Of Loathing. "the Wine Dude?" "dionysus, Right? Oh, Wow! I've Got Your Figurine!" "my Figurine." "in My Game, Mythomagic. And Holofoil Card, Too! And Even Though You've Only Got Like Five Hundred Attack Points And Everybody Thinks Your The Lamest God Card, I Totally Think Your Powers Are Sweet!" "ah." Mr.d Seemed Truly Perplexed, Which Probably Saved My Life. "well, That's...gratifying.

Why Would Roman Gods Want To Date Chinese Canadians?

Wow," Thalia Muttered. "apollo Is Hot." "he's The Sun God," I Said. "that's Not What I Meant.

I Think The More You Understand Myths, The More You Understand The Roots Of Our Culture And The More Things Will Resonate. Do You Have To Know Them? No, But Certainly It Is Nice To Recognise How Deeply These Things Are Embedded In Our Literature, Our Art.

Even His Hair Was Bigger—a Massive Globe Of Blue-black Frizz So Thick That His Lobster-claw Horns Appeared To Be Drowning As They Tried To Swim Their Way To The Surface. “is That Why They Named You Aphros?” Leo Asked As They Glided Down The Path From The Cave. “because Of The Afro?” Aphros Scowled. “what Do You Mean?” “nothing,” Leo Said Quickly.

Humans Don't Exist On The Same Level As Immortals. They Can't Even Be Hurt By Our Weapons. But You,percy - You Are Part God,part Human.you Live In Both Worlds.you Can Be Harmed By Both,and You Can Affect Both. That's What Makes Heroes So Special.

Marvelous,” She Said. “tell Me About This Tapestry.” Arachne’s Lips Curled Over Her Mandibles. “why Do You Care? You're About To Die.” “well, Yes,” Annabeth Said. “but The Way You Captured The Light Is Amazing. Did You Use Real Gold Thread For The Sunbeams?

Brother Dear,” I Said, “did Your Soul Leave Your Body While Amos Was Talking, Or Did You Actually Hear Him? Egyptian Gods Real. Red Lord Bad. Red Lord’s Birthday: Very Soon, Very Bad. House Of Life: Fussy Magicians Who Hate Our Family Because Dad Was A Bit Of A Rebel, Whom You Could Take A Lesson From. Which Leaves Us—just Us—with Dad Missing, An Evil God About To Destroy The World, And An Uncle Who Just Jumped Off The Building—and I Can’t Actually Blame Him.” I Took A Breath. [yes, Carter, I Do Have To Breathe Occasionally.]

Can We Just Call Them Storm Spirits?” Leo Asked. “venti Makes Them Sound Like Evil Espresso Drinks.

I Will Feast On Enemies Of Ra Until My Belly Is Full!” “charming,” Sadie Whispered.

A Vampire!" I Stammered. Then I Noticed Her Legs. Below The Cheerleader Skirt, Her Left Leg Was Brown And Shaggy With A Donkey's Hoof. Her Right Leg Was Shaped Like A Human Leg Was It Was Made Of Bronze. "uhh, A Vampire With-" "don't Mention The Legs!" Tammi Snapped. "it's Rude To Make Fun.

Hera: Ohh, Thalia Grace, When I Get Out Of Here, You'll Be Sorry You Were Ever Born. Thalia: Save It! You've Been Nothing But A Curse To Every Child Of Zeus For Ages. You Sent A Bunch Of Intestinally Challenged Cows After My Friend Annabeth Hera: She Was Disrespectful! Thalia: You Dropped A Statue On My Legs. Hera: It Was An Accident! Thalia: And You Took My Brother

You’re That Lady,” Leo Said. “the One Who Was Named After Caribbean Music.” Her Eyes Glinted Murderously. “caribbean Music.” “yeah. Reggae?” Leo Shook His Head. “merengue? Hold On, I’ll Get It.” He Snapped His Fingers. “calypso!

Don't Worry, Be Hapi.

He Just Raised The Dead With Coke And Cheeseburgers

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

My Resolve, My Anger, Even My Grief Gave Me Confidence

I Remembered The Last Time Annabeth And I Had Parted Ways, When She'd Given Me A Kiss For Luck In Mount St. Helens. This Time, All I Got Was The Hat.

Normally My Sister, Sadie, Or Some Of Our Other Initiates From Brooklyn House Would've Come With Me. But They Were All At The First Nome, In Egypt, For A Weeklong Training Session On Controlling Cheese Demons(yes, They're A Real Thing; Believe Me, You Don't Want To Know)

Selling One's Book To Hollywood Is Rather Like Selling Someone Your House. After It's Sold, It Isn't Yours Anymore. They Can Paint It A Different Color, Tear It Down And Build Something New, Or Do Anything They Want.

Beautiful,' Jason Exclaimed. 'piper, You... You're A Knockout.

Hazel Squinted. "how Far?" "just Over The River And Through The Woods." Percy Raised An Eyebrow. "seriously? To Grandmother's House We Go?" Frank Cleared His Throat. "yeah, Anyway.

Reyna Sent Me To Get Percy," Frank Said. "did Octavian Accept You?" "yeah," Percy Said. "he Slaughtered My Panda.

Weapons Are Allowed. Dirty Tricks Are Expected. But Try Not To Kill Anybody!” Tantalus Smiled At Us Like We Were All Naughty Children. “any Killing Will Result In Harsh Punishment. No S’mores At The Campfire For A Week! Now Ready Your Chariots!

Your Lifeline...oh, The Burning Stick. Right." Leo Resisted The Urge To Set His Hand Ablaze And Yell: Bwah Ha Ha!

Tyson Charged At The Cyclops Leader, Ma Gasket, Her Chain-mail Dress Spattered With Mud And Decorated With Broken Spears. She Gawked At Tyson And Started To Say, “who—?” 463/508 Tyson Hit Her In The Head So Hard, She Spun In A Circle And Landed On Her Rump. “bad Cyclops Lady!” He Bell Owed. “general Tyson Says Go Away!” He Hit Her Again, And Ma Gasket Broke Into Dust.

Great. I've Made A Friend.

He Was Making A Brave Attempt, But Jason Could See The Sadness Lingering In His Eyes. Something Had Happened To Him... Something To Do With Calypso.

Love Was The Most Savage Monster Of All.

There Are Parties And Then There Are Huge Major Blowout Parties. And Then There Are Olympian Parties. If You Ever Get A Choice Go For The Olympian.

Apparently, Word Of The Chicken Man Incident Hadn’t Spread Quite Yet.

Just Keep Moving! We're Almost There." "almost Where?" Juno Chuckled. "all Roads Lead There Child. You Should Know That" "detention?" Percy Asked. "rome, Child, The Old Woman Said. "rome

Blowfish, Did You Say?" "ah, No. Blofis, Actually." "oh, I See," Poseidon Said. "a Shame. I Quite Like Blowfish.

There!" Apollo Pointed. "long Island, Dead Ahead. Let's Slow Down, Dear. 'dead' Is Only An Expression.

Then Something Occurred To Me. "get Closer," I Told Blackjack. He Whinnied In Protest. "just Within Shouting Distance," I Said. "i Need To Talk To The Statue." Now I'm Sure You've Lost It, Boss, Blackjack Said

With Her Braided Hair And White Dress, She Seemed To Glow In The Moonlight.

Everybody Loves To Show Up At The Party Once All The Hard Work Is Done.

Trantulus Casually Roasted A Marshmallow And Reached Out For It But The Marshmallow Commited Sucide And Dived Into The Flames.

Swords Can’t Solve Every Problem.

Many Of The Best Traps Are Simple. You Just Have To Think About It, And Hope Your Victim Doesn't.

It's Always Hard To Wrap Up A Series. The Longer I Spend With The Characters, The More They Become Like Friends.

I Don't Recommend Shadow Travel If You're Scared Of: A) The Dark B) Cold Shivers Up Your Spine C) Strange Noises D) Going So Fast You Feel Like Your Face Is Peeling Off In Other Words, I Thought It Was Awesome.

The Next Microsecond, As The Water Erupted Around Me, I Realized Too Late That I Should've Brought The Entire Twenty-first Nome To Help Me.

Our Secret Weapon, Khione! We're Not Just A Bunch Of Demigods. We're A Team.

Tyson Thought Annabeth Was Just About The Coolest Thing Since Peanut Butter, And He Seriously Loved Peanut Butter.

Heroes Like You Always Have A Weak Spot. We Just Have To Find It, And Then We Can Kill You. Won't That Be Lovely? Have A Cheese 'n' Wiener!

Imitation Is Flattery

Shut Up, Me,” Leo Said Aloud. “what?” Piper Asked. “nothing,” He Said. “long Night. I Think I’m Hallucinating. It’s Cool.” Sitting In Front, Leo Couldn’t See Their Faces, But He Assumed From Their Silence That His Friends Were Not Pleased To Have A Sleepless, Hallucinating Dragon Driver. “just Joking.” Leo Decided It Might Be Good To Change The Subject.

We Had Enough Quite Enough Snobbery In This World Without Exporting It To The Hereafter.

I Looked Into His Eyes, And I Realized He Was The Same Man I'd Seen In My Dreams. His Face Might Be Totally Different, But The Same Soul Was In There, The Same Intelligence And All The Sadness.

Caught In A Bad Romance. Whoaaa-oh-ooooh!" Nellie Wailed Along To The Xm Radio Blaring From The Enormous Speakers. "can I Uncover My Ears Now?" Dan Called From The Back, Where He Was Reclined Across The Leather Seat. "has Nellie Stopped Her Lady Gag Me Impression?

My Mother Was Gone. The Whole World Should Be Black And Cold. Nothing Should Look Beautiful.

He Touched The Screen As If Trying To Reach Through With His Hand. "you're A Wonderful Young Lady. I Don't Tell You That Often Enough. You Remind Me So Much Of Your Mother. She'd Be Proud. And Grandpa Tom" --he Chuckled-- "he Always Said You'd Be The Most Powerful Voice In Our Family. You're Going To Outshine Me Some Day, You Know. They're Going To Remember Me As Piper Mclean's Father, And That's The Best Legacy I Can Imagine.

Everyone Thinks You've Been Kidnapped," He Said. "we've Been Scouring The Ship. When Coach Hedge Finds Out- Oh, Gods, You've Been Here All Night?" "frank!" Annabeth's Ears Were As Red As Strawberries. "we Just Came Down Here To Talk. We Fell Asleep. Accidentally. That's It." "kissed A Couple Of Times," Percy Said. Annabeth Glared At Him. "not Helping!

I Had Weird Dreams Full Of Barnyard Animals. Most Of Them Wanted To Kill Me. The Rest Wanted Food.

And Yes,percy,of Course They Are Now In Our United States. Look At Your Symbol,the Eagle Of Zeus. Look At The Statue Of Prometheus In Rockefeller Center,the Greek Facades Of Our Government Builidings In Washington. I Defy You To Find Any American City Where The Olympians Are Not Proeminently Displayed, In Multiple Places. Like It Or Not-and Believe Me,plenty Of People Weren't Very Found Of Rome,either-america Is Now The Heart Of The Flame. It Is The Great Power Of The West.and So Olympus Is Here.and We Are Here.

Now, I Figured That The Built-up Gas In Most Boys' Locker Rooms Was Enough To Cause An Explosion, So I Wasn't Surprised When The Flaming Dodgeball Ignited A Huge Whooooooom!

No One Can Hate You With More Intensity Than Someone Who Used To Love You.

When Luke Had Descended Into The River Styx, He Would've Had To Focus On Something Important That Would Hold Him To His Mortal Life. Otherwise He Would've Dissolved. I Had Seen Annabeth, And I Had A Feeling He Had Too. He Had Pictured That Scene Hestia Showed Me—of Himself In The Good Old Days With Thalia And Annabeth, When He Promised They Would Be A Family. Hurting Annabeth In Battle Had Shocked Him Into Remembering That Promise. It Had Allowed His Mortal Conscience To Take Over Again, And Defeat Kronos. His Weak Spot—his Achilles Heel—had Saved Us All

In The Duat, Anubis Looked As He Always Had, With His Tousled Dark Hair And Lovely Brown Eyes, But I’d Never Seen Him Filled With Such Rage. I Realized That Anyone Who Dared To Hurt Me Would Suffer His Full Wrath, And Walt Wasn’t Going To Hold Him Back.

Mrs. O' Leary Is My Pet. I Couldn't Let You Stick A Sword In Her Rump, Now, Could I? That Might've Scared Her.

Annabeth Recognized Something Else In Her Face, Too - In The Hard Set Of Her Mouth And The Deliberate Way She Raised Her Chin Like She Was Ready To Accept Any Challenge. Reyna Was Forcing A Look Of Courage, While Holding Back A Mixture Of Hopefulness And Worry And Fear That She Couldn't Show In Public. Annabeth Knew That Expression. She Saw It Every Time She Looked In A Mirror.

Why Can't You Place A Blessing Like That On Us?" I Asked. "it Only Works On Wild Animals." "so It Would Only Affect Percy," Annabeth Reasoned. "hey!" I Protested.

This Is Leo. I'm The... What's My Title? Am I Like, Admiral, Or Captain, Or..." "repair Boy." "very Funny, Piper.

You Mix Greek And Roman, You Know What You Get? You Get Bam!

I’m A Cat. I Respect The Sanctity Of Sleep.

They Chose The Olive" "they Must Really Like Olives" "forget It" "now If She Invented Pizza That I Can Understand" -percy To Annabeth In The Lightning Theif

I, Horus, Son Of Osiris, Claim The Throne Of The Heavens As My Birthright!" He Shouted."what Was Once Mine Shall Be Mine Again.is There Anyone Who Would Challenge Me?" The Gods Flickered And Glowed. A Few Scowled. One Muttered Something That Sounded Like "cheese", Although That Could've Been My Imagination.

I Survive All Those Battles," She Growled, "and I Get Defeated By A Stupid Chunk Of Rock!

Something Inside Me Clicked, Like An Engine Shifting Into Higher Gear. My Thinking Suddenly Became Faster And Clearer. The Anger And Fear Didn't Go Away, But I Realized They Weren't Important. They Weren't Going To Help Me.

A Guy In Greek Armor Drew His Sword And Charged, But Slipped In A Puddle Of Pina Colada.

Wisdom's Daughter Walks Alone, The Mark Of Athena Burns Through Rome.

Their Goal Was In Sight. They Had A Titan With A Very Loud Kitten On Their Side. That Had To Count For Something.

We'd Spent Maybe Ten Minutes Together, During Which Time I'd Accidentally Swung A Sword At Her, She'd Saved My Life, And I'd Run Away Chased By A Band Of Supernatural Killing Machines. You Know, Your Typical Chance Meeting.

I Have Some Extra Costumes-" "no!" Ephialtes Snapped, And For Once Percy Was In Agreement.

Stupid Sixteen Year Old Kid Falling From The Sky! I'm Late!

Our Problems Started In Dallas, When The Fire-breathing Sheep Destroyed The King Tut Exhibit.

Do You Always Try To Kill People When They Blow Their Nose?

Think Positive Girl, Or The World Ends.

You Deal With Mythological Stuff For A Few Years, You Learn That Paradises Are Usually Places Where You Get Killed.

She Pulled Away. “i Missed You, Percy.” Percy Wanted To Tell Her The Same Thing, But It Seemed Too Small A Comment. While He Had Been On The Roman Side, He’d Kept Himself Alive Almost Solely By Thinking Of Annabeth. I Missed You Didn’t Really Cover That.

I Think That Kids Have A Greater Capacity For Processing Things Than We Give Them Credit For.

He Could't Have Survied A Hundred Foot Drop. I'm Sorry Annabeth.

Most People Call It The Book Of The Dead,” He Told Me. “rich Egyptians Were Always Buried With A Copy, So They Could Have Directions Through The Duat To The Land Of The Dead. It’s Like An Idiot’s Guide To The Afterlife.

[my Mom's] Funny That Way, Celebrating Special Occasions With Blue Food. I Think It's Her Way Of Saying Anything Is Possible. Percy Can Pass Seventh Grade. Waffles Can Be Blue. Little Miracles Like That.

I'm Just A Kid, Chiron," I Said Miserably. "what Good Is One Lousy Hero Against Something Like Kronos?" Chiron Managed A Smile. '"what Good Is One Lousy Hero'? Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain Said Something Like That To Me Once, Just Before He Single-handedly Changed The Course Of Your Civil War.

You Must Forge Your Own Path For It To Mean Anything.

"you Are Okay?" He Asked. "not Eaten By Monsters?" "not Even A Little Bit." I Showed Him That I Still Had Both Arms And Both Legs, And Tyson Clapped Happily. "yay!" He Said. "now We Can Eat Peanut Butter Sandwiches And Ride Fish Ponies! We Can Fight Monsters And See Annabeth And Make Things Go Boom!" I Hoped He Didn't Mean All At The Same Time, But I Told Him Absolutely, We'd Have A Lot Of Fun This Summer.

I Could Hear Hopefulness In Her Voice, But Also Doubt. She Was Waiting For Me To Admit The Obvious: I’d Forgotten. I Was Toast. I Was Boyfriend Roadkill.

Leo Scratched His Head. “well I Dunno About Enchiladas-“ “enceladus,” Piper Corrected. “whatever. But Old Potty Face Mentioned Another Name. Porpoise Fear, Or Something?” “porphyrion?” Piper Asked. ”he Was The Giant King, I Think.

Like Some Helpful Person (hi, Mom) Has Tried To "'clean'" It, And Suddenly You Can't Find Anything?

Desjardins Was Literally Fuming. His Tattered Robes Still Smoked From Battle. (carter Says I Shouldn’t Mention That His Pink Boxer Shorts Were Showing, But They Were!)

Bob Says Hello," He Told The Stars. The Argo Ii Sailed Into The Night.

Lightning Thief Was Good But The Sea Of Monsters Is Better And Has More Action!

Aphros Nodded, A Glint Of Pride In His Eyes. “we Have Trained All The Famous Mer-heroes! Name A Famous Mer-hero, And We Have Trained Him Or Her!” “oh, Sure,” Leo Said. “like…um, The Little Mermaid?” Aphros Frowned. “who? No! Like Triton, Glaucus, Weissmuller, And Bill!” “oh. ”leo Had No Idea Who Any Of Those People Were. “you Trained Bill? Impressive.

I Looked At The Campers, All Of Them Grim And Determined. I Tried Not To Feel Like This Was The Last Time I'd Ever See Them All Together. 'you're The Greatest Heroes Of This Millennium,' I Told Them. 'it Doesn't Matter How Many Monsters Come At You. Fight Bravely, And We Will Win.' I Raised Riptide And Shouted, 'for Olympus!' They Shouted In Response, And Our Forty Voices Echoed Off The Buildings Of Midtown.

Her Secret Fear? Maybe She Didn't Tried Hard Enough.

If You've Ever Tried Ba Travel, I Wouldn't Recommend It-- Unless Of Course You Fancy Turning Into A Phantom Chicken And Rafting Uncontrollably Through The Currents Of The Duat.

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Douglas William Jerrold

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