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Really Good Comedians, You Know, When They Go On Stage, They Don't Really Care What The Audience - They're Fearless, You Know? They're So Comfortable That They Don't Care. They Don't Have That Neediness Where They Need The Laughs.

-Aziz Ansari

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Really Good Comedians, You

Aziz Ansari

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Really Good Comedians, You Know, When They Go On Stage, They Don't Really Care What The Audience - They're Fearless, You Know? They're So Comfortable That They Don't Care. They Don't Have That Neediness Where They Need The Laughs.

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I Went To A Place Recently I Think Is One Of The Most F**ked Up Places I've Ever Been To. I'm Convinced This Place Is The Epitome Of American Excess, Of American Greed. I'm Talking About A Place Called Cold Stone Creamery. Whoa. If You Have Not Been There, The Basic Gist Of Cold Stone Is That They Take Ice Cream And Then They Just Go Ape Sh*t With It.

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You Should Really Treat Stand-up Like You Would A Play. It's A One-man Play.

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Once You Become A Comedian, You Accept That People Are Just Going To Yell Stuff At You.

I've Never Done Online Dating.

Any Jokes I Make I Try To Make Sure It's On Story And Helps The Characters And Makes Sense With The Movie.

Most People Would Say 'the Deets', But I Say 'the Tails'. Just Another Example Of Innovation.

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The Four Sweetest Words In The English Language — 'you Wore Me Down.'

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Acting Is A Plum Gig, And Then Animation Is An Even More Plum Gig.

Others Fear What The Morrow May Bring. I Am Afraid Of What Happened Yesterday.

If It's Possible, I Binge. There Are Other Shows, Like 'the Americans' And 'game Of Thrones,' I Watch And Have To Wait A Week.

When I Tour, It's Like, Well, Like A Food Tour As Much As A Comedy Tour. I Try To Eat At All The Weird Places, The Obscure Barbecue Joints, Burger Places. There Are A Few Spots In L.a. That I'm Obsessed With - One Of Them Is The Taco Zone Taco Truck On Alvarado. There Are Secret Off-menu Items That Are Amazing.

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Instead Of Yelling Your Opinion, Or Telling People To Shut Up, Or Engaging In This Clickbait-internet Culture, Have A Dialogue With Someone And Ask People Questions And Listen To What They Have To Say.

Come Cook Food With Me And Do Nothing.

If Your Job Was Remotely Interesting, There Would Be A Show On A&e About It.

I Think When People Talk About Improvising It Turns Into This Silly Thing Like, "oh There's Like A Hula Hoop There And I'm Like 'oh What's Going On Here? Is This A Really Big Ring?'"

My Dad Grew Up Basically In A Hut In Taiwan Without Enough Food To Eat. And Within One Generation His Son In America Gets To Do A Comedy Show About Whatever He Wants.

With Stand-up, It's More Interesting To Hear About People's Failures Than Their Successes.

Every Time I've Done Comedy In, Like, Traditional Comedy Clubs, There's Always These Comedians That Do Really Well With Audiences But That The Other Comedians Hate Because They're Just, You Know, Doing Kind Of Cheap Stuff Like Dancing Around Or Doing, Like, Very Kind Of Base Sex Humor A Lot, And Stuff Like That.

I'm In A Situation With This Girl That's As Hopeless As Overthrowing The Bush Administration.

I Have No Interest In Art. Let Me Clarify — I Have No Interest In Non-nude Images.

I Have An Amazing Metabolism. I'm Sure That'll Be Gone One Day. But I Like To Exercise, Too, So I Don't Think I'll Ever Get Really Fat.

When You Meet Someone You Really Like And Connect With, I Think That's Very Special, And Not To Be Taken For Granted.

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Frank B. Kellogg

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