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Love And I Once Had A Great Relationship, But I Fear We've Broken Up. It Cheated On Me, Wrecked My Heart, And Then Went On To Date Other People. A Lot Of Other People. And I Can't Stand To Watch It, Since Love's Going To Cheat On Them Too.

-David Levithan

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Love And I Once

David Levithan

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Love And I Once Had A Great Relationship, But I Fear We've Broken Up. It Cheated On Me, Wrecked My Heart, And Then Went On To Date Other People. A Lot Of Other People. And I Can't Stand To Watch It, Since Love's Going To Cheat On Them Too.

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And I, Who Have Never Thought In Terms Of A Life, Think To Myself That I Could Make A Life Out Of This.

We Are So Used To Releasing Words, We Don't Know What To Do With Them If They Stay. No Matter How Many Times We Let Them Go, They Come Back. The Words That Matter Always Stay.

The Truth Feels Different From Other Things. The Closest You Can Come To Describing It Is That It Feels Like Taking A Perfect Breath.

I Don’t Want To Throw Everything Away For Something Uncertain.

It Was The Most Amazing Feeling In The World. To Know That Something Right Happened, And To Know That It Had Happened Not Through Luck Or Command But Simply Because It Was Right.

When Things Break, It's Not The Actual Breaking That Prevents Them From Getting Back Together Again. It's Because A Little Piece Gets Lost -- The Two Remaining Ends Couldn't Fit Together Even If They Wanted To. The Whole Shape Has Changed.

...he Hopes That Maybe It'll Make People A Little Less Scared Of Two Boys Kissing Than They Were Before, And A Little More Welcoming To The Idea That All People Are, In Fact, Born Equal, No Matter Who They Kiss Or Screw, No Matter What Dreams They Have Or Love They Give.

In Small Letters, Someone Has Written Never Forget On One Of The Slats. I Know It's Supposed To Be A Pledge, But It Feels Like A Curse. Don't We Have To Forget Some Of It? Don't We Have To Forget This Feeling? If We Don't, How Will We Live?

I Try To Convince Myself That It's The Alcohol Talking. But Alcohol Can't Talk. It Just Sits There. It Can't Even Get Itself Out Of The Bottle.

Do You Know When You Cross Against Traffic? You Look Down The Street And See A Car Coming, But You Know You Can Get Across Before It Gets To You. So Even Though There’s A Don’t Walk Sign, You Cross Anyway. And There’s Always A Split Second When You Turn And See That Car Coming, And You Know That If You Don’t Continue Moving, It Will All Be Over. That’s How I Feel A Lot Of The Time. I Know I’ll Make It Across. I Always Make It Across. But The Car Is Always There, And I Always Stop To Watch It Coming.

After Tiny Has Tried Ballerina Pose, Swing-batter-batter Pose, Pump-up-the-jam Pose, And Top-of-the-mountain-sound-of-music Pose In The Reflection Of The Bean, He Walks Us To A Bench Overlooking Lake Shore Drive.

Readers Embrace All Kinds Of Characters As Long As They Are Written With Emotional Truth.

Maybe Your History Just Repeats And Repeats Until It Batters You Enough To Snap The Seams That Hold You Together

Little Less Than A Promise, And A Little More Than A Chance.

But I Had A Feeling I Wasn't Supposed To Find Her That Way. She Was Not A Needle. This Was Not A Haystack. We Were People, And People Had Ways Of Finding Each Other.

It's Like You're A Character In This Book That Everyone Around You Is Writing, And Suddenly You Have To Say, 'i'm Sorry, But This Role Isn't Right For Me'. And You Have To Start Writing Your Own Life And Doing Your Own Thing.

All This Hoping For Something- Or Someone- That's Maybe Hopeless. I'm Having A Hard Time Processing What I Am Supposed To Believe, Or If I'm Even Supposed To. There Is Too Much Information, And I Don't Like A Lot Of It.

Hoping For Something

I Want To Take Back At Least Half Of The “i Love You”s, Because I Didn’t Mean Them As Much As The Other Ones.

Anchor, V.: I Drift, I Drift, I Drift, You Stay.

This Is As Much A Part Of My Story As Anything Else. Friendship Is Love As Much As Any Romance.

For Whatever Reason, We Like To Focus On The 2 Percent That's Different, And Most Of The Conflict In The World Comes From That.

The Important Thing Is For The Characters To Feel Real, And To Be Given The Humanity They Are Due. That Granting Of Humanity Is What Separates A Full Portrait From A Stereotype.

Simon: That's Disgusting! Me: What's Disgusting? Simon: You Know. You Put Your Thing In The Place Where He, Um, Defecates.

There Is No Word For The Recipient Of The Love. There Is Only A Word For The Giver. There Is The Assumption That Lovers Come In Pairs.

The Assumption Of The Word Reunion Is That, Once You're Together Again, You Are United. Two As One. Pulling Close To Someone Is Only A Temporary Symbol. It's The Way You Breathe With Each Other That's The Telltale Sign.

Things Are Going So Well. We’re Volleying Words Back And Forth. Everything She Says, I Have Something I Can Say Back. We’re Sparking, And Part Of Me Just Wants To Sit Back And Watch. We’re Clicking. Not Because A Part Of Me Is Fitting Into A Part Of Her. But Because Our Words Are Clicking Into Each Other To Form Sentences And Our Sentences Are Clicking Into Each Other To Form Dialogue And Our Dialogue Is Clicking Together To Form This Scene From This Ongoing Movie That’s As Comfortable As It Is Unrehearsed.

It Will Affect Me In Ways I Can't Even Begin To Get My Mind Around. This Day Is A Dark Crater. There Is No Room For Songs. The Songs Are Wrong. Every Song Is Wrong. And I Don't Know What To Do Without Music.

Maybe There Is Hope In The Fragments, That What Is Lost Can Always Be Filled In By Someone Who Knows.

I Wake Up Feverish, Sore, Uncomfortable. Is It Sickness Or Is It Heartbreak? I Can't Tell. The Thermometer Says I'm Normal, But I'm Clearly Not.

I Don’t Want You To Think I Got Through This Undamaged, Okay? But I’m Learning To Live With It. Because Otherwise, The Damage Is All You Are.

The Older You Get, The Wiser You Are - This Is True. But You Also Question What Use This Wisdom Is.y

I Want You To Be Honest With Me. Even If It Hurts. Although I Would Prefer For It Not To Hurt.

There Is No Word For Our Kind Of Friendship. Two People Who Don't See Each Other A Lot, But Can Make Each Other Effortlessly Happy

What A Strange Phrase — –not Seeing Other People. As If It’s Been Constructed To Be A Lie. We See Other People All The Time. The Question Is What We Do About It.

I Never Felt The Urge To Jump Off A Bridge, But There Are Times I Have Wanted To Jump Out Of My Life, Out Of My Skin.

Love Me Less, But Love Me For A Long Time

Fate Has A Strange Way Of Making Plans.

Every Single Answer Starts With The Phrase 'i Don't Know.' But Most Of The Time She Does Know, If I Give Her The Time And The Space In Which To Answer.

I Should Talk To Him I Know I Should Talk To Him. But I Do Not Talk To Him. I Watch After Him From Afar And Love Him.

I Know From Experience That Beneath Every Peripheral Girl Is A Central Truth. She’s Hiding Hers Away, But At The Same Time She Wants Me To See It.

The Minute I Knew I Was In Love Was The Minute When There Was No Question About It.

You Never Let Things Go Unanswered For Too Long. Emails. Phone Calls. Questions. As If You Know The Waiting Is The Hardest Part For Me.

There Has To Be A Moment At The Beginning When You Wonder Whether You’re In Love With The Person Or In Love With The Feeling Of Love Itself.

I Don't Want To Steal Anybody's Story. I Very Much Want To Use The Stories That I Hear To Get Lost In My Mind, To Tell A Larger Story.

I Say Good-bye To Hope, But I Also Say Good-bye To Hope's Disappointment.

Isaac Knows How Stupid I Find These Things, And He Finds Them Just As Stupid As I Do. Like Lol. Now, If There's Anything Stupider Than Buddy Lists, It's Lol. If Anyone Ever Uses Lol With Me, I Rip My Computer Right Out Of The Wall And Smash It Over The Nearest Head. I Mean, It's Not Like Anyone's Laughing Out Loud About The Things They Lol. I Think It Should Be Spelled Loll, Like What A Lobotomized Person's Tongue Does. Loll. Loll. I Can't Think Any More. Loll. Loll!

We Always Loved To Say 'if I'd Had A Monday-morning Class, I Never Would Have Met You'. Or 'if You'd Been Reading Something Else, None Of This Would Have Happened'. We Didn't Believe In Fate, But We Believed In Serendipity. We Felt Very Lucky.

Indelible, Adj. That First Night, You Took Your Finger And Pointed To The Top Of My Head, Then Traced A Line Between My Eyes, Down My Nose, Over My Lips, My Chin, My Neck, To The Center Of My Chest. It Was So Surprising. I Knew I Would Never Mimic It. That One Gesture Would Be Yours Forever.

Here," She Said. "this Is For You." "i Didn't Really Get You Anything," I Sputtered. "i Mean, I Didn't Know That You Were Going To Be Here, And--" "don't Worry. It's Your Embarrassment At Not Having The Thought That Counts.

Because That's The Thing About Mean People: They Make You Think That The World Will Never Work, That There Are Divides That You Will Fall Into If You Approach. It Takes A Whole Lot Of Good People To Fill In The Breach Created By A Single Mean One.

Things Are Not Magical Because They've Been Conjured For Us By Some Outside Force. They Are Magical Because We Create Them.

Healthy, Adj. There Are Times When I'm Alone That I Think, This Is It. This Is Actually The Natural State. All I Need Are My Thoughts And My Small Acts Of Creation And My Ability To Go Or Do Whatever I Want To Go Or Do. I Am Myself, And That Is The Point. Pairing Is A Social Construction. It Is By No Means Necessary For Everyone To Do It. Maybe I'm Better Like This. Maybe I Could Live My Life In My Own World, And Then Simply Leave It When It's Time To Go.

Ted Is Smart And Good-looking, But He Doesn't Use It To Good Effect, Like A Rich Person That Never Gives To Charity.

I Want To Know Why This Is Such A Part Of Me. I Want To Know Why This Thing That Happened To Other People Has Happened So Much To Me. I Keep Looking For The Lesson.

Tiny: Did Someone Die? Me: Yeah, I Did. He Smiles Again At That. Tiny: Well, Then... Welcome To The Afterlife.

The Older I Get, The More I Lose My Ability To Breathe.

I Don’t Like It When You Use My Shampoo, Because Then Your Hair Smells Like Me, Not You.

He Is Both The Source Of My Happiness And The One I Want To Share It With.

... I Love Books About Freaks," Because I Am One. You Might Be, Too. Let's Be Freaks Together?

It's Not The Easy Things That Let You Get To Know A Person.

Just Because A Person Is Beautiful Doesn't Mean There's No Soul Beneath. Doesn't Mean That Person Hasn't Suffered Like Everyone Else, Doesn't Mean They Don't Hope To Still Be A Good Human Being In An Awful World.

You Are Happy Even If You Are Afraid To Admit It.

Her Mind Is An Unquiet One, Words And Thoughts And Impulses Constantly Crashing Into Each Other.

There Are Few Things Harder Than Being Born Into The Wrong Body.

There Is Certainty In A Ring. The Non-ending, The Non-beginning. The Ongoing. The Way It Holds On To You Not Because It's Fastened Or Stretched Or Adhered. It Holds On Because It Fits.

If Smart People Are Parodying It, That's A Sure Sign That Some Less Smart People Are Believing It.

The Key Is To Never Recognize These Imbalances. To Not Let The Dauntingness Daunt Us.

Me: Why Is It Upset? Shouldn't It Be Downset? Gideon: I Will File A Lawsuit Against The Dictionaries First Thing Tomorrow Morning. We're Going To Tear Merriam A New Asshole And Throw Webster Inside Of It.

Every Two People Cause And Intersection. Every Person Alters The World.

Let’s Make Plans,” I Ventured. And Sofia Smiled And Said, “no, Let’s Leave It To Chance.

They Don’t Have Silences Together; They Have Noise. Mostly His.

When You Need To Hold Onto Something, You Should. Whatever Gets You Through, Take It.

When I Am With You, There Is Nowhere Else I'd Rather Be. And I Am A Person Who Always Wants To Be Somewhere Else.

And Still, For All The Jealously, All The Doubt, Sometimes I Will Be Struck With A Kind Of Awe That We're Together. That Someone Like Me Could Find Someone Like You --- It Renders Me Wordless. Because Surely Words Would Conspire Against Such Luck, Would Protest The Unlikelihood Of Such A Turn Of Events.

We All Contain Mysteries, Especially When Seen From The Inside.

I Mean, What If Love Isn't A Yes-or-no Question? It's Not Either You're In Love Or You're Not. I Mean, Aren't There Different Levels? And Maybe These Things, Like Words And Expectations And Whatever, Don't Go On Top Of The Love. Maybe It's Like A Map, And They All Have Their Own Place, And Then When You See It From The Sky - Whoa.

I’ve Found That People Tend To Trust Other People Who Dress Like Them.

I Had A Sense Then Of How If We Truly Understood How Many Of The Unimportant Things We Do Will End Up Outliving Us, We'd Never Be Able To Go On.

Unimportant Things

You Ask Me What I'm Looking For, And I Outline You. You Don't Recognize The Shape, Offer Other Names. You Say My Time Will Come, And I Hope.

You Make It A Production. Slam Doors. Knock Things Over. Scream. But I Just Leave. Even If I'm Still Standing There, I Leave. I Am Refusing You. I Am Denying You. I Am An Adjective That Is Quickly Turning Into A Noun.

Our Moments Are Music, And Sometimes – Just Sometimes – We Can Catch Them And Put Them Into Some Lasting Form. If We Didn’t Have Music, I Don’t Think We Could Ever Be Truly Happy, And If We Didn’t Have Special Moments, We Would Never Find Music.

It Was Like Everyone Suddenly Knew What Mattered. Money Didn't Matter. Politics Didn't Matter. Tabloid News Didn't Matter. No-compassion Mattered. Calm Mattered. Respect Mattered. Did It Really Take Something Of This Magnitude To Make Us Realize This?

With Some Break-ups, All You Can Think About Afterwards Is How Badly It Ended And How Much The Other Person Hurt You. With Others, You Become Sentimental For The Good Times And Lose Track Of What Went Wrong.

My Main Piece Of Advice Would Be Dont Worry About Being Published - Just Write A Really Good Book, But Also Dont Be Afraid To Write A Bad Book. Give Yourself Permission To Fail, And Dont Be Afraid.

I Hate The Way You Talk To Me, And The Way You Cut Your Hair. I Hate The Way You Drive My Car. I Hate It When You Stare. I Hate Your Big Dumb Combat Boots, And The Way You Read My Mind. I Hate You So Much It Makes Me Sick; It Even Makes Me Rhyme. I Hate It, I Hate The Way You're Always Right. I Hate It When You Lie. I Hate It When You Make Me Laugh, Even Worse When You Make Me Cry. I Hate It When You're Not Around, And The Fact That You Didn't Call. But Mostly I Hate The Way I Don't Hate You. Not Even Close, Not Even A Little Bit, Not Even At All.

He’ll Have To Prove It To You. Every Day, He’ll Have To Prove He’s Worthy Of You. And If He Doesn’t, That’s It. But I Think He Will.

Me: You Know What Sucks About Love? O.w.g.: What? Me: That It's So Tied To The Truth.

There's No Way To Release Yourself From A Memory. It Ends When It Wants To End, Whether It's In A Flash Or Long After You've Begged It To Stop.

It Is Its Own Form Of Conversation -- You Can Learn A Lot About People From The Stories They Tell, But You Can Also Know Them From The Way They Sing Along, Whether They Like The Windows Up Or Down, If They Live By The Map Or By The World, If They Feel The Pull Of The Ocean.

Measure The Hope Of That Moment, That Feeling. Everything Else Will Be Measured Against It.

If You Start The Day Reading The Obituaries, You Live Your Day A Little Differently.

It Felt Good To Be Surrounded By Books, By All This Solid Knowledge, By These Objects That Could Be Ripped Page By Page But Couldn't Be Torn If The Pages All Held Together.

Moments Into Minutes. Minutes Into Hours. Hours Into Days. Days Into Years. Years Into Possibility. This Will Linger.

After Working For So Long On Being Sure Of Each Other, Sure Of This Thing, Suddenly We Were Unsure Again.

Freedom Is Also About What You Will Allow Yourself To Do.

Tiny: But There Is The Word, This Word Phil Wrayson Taught Me Once: Weltschmerz. It's The Depression You Feel When The World As It Is Does Not Line Up With The World As You Think It Should Be. I Live In A Big Goddamned Weltzschermz Ocean, You Know? And So Do You.

Love Weaves Itself From Hundreds Of Threads.

He Is Much Stronger Than I Think I Am. He Is Mischievous, Outgoing, Ready To Soar Through The Clouds, While I Often Feel Like The Cloud Itself.

Sometimes When You Hit Send, You Can Imagine The Message Going Straight Into The Person's Heart. But Other Times, Like This Time, It Feels Like The Words Are Merely Falling Into A Well.

Jesus Died For Our Sins," Noah Says Solemnly. "what?!?" I Reply, Choking Back My Thoughts. "i Was Just Seeing If You Were Listening.

There Is The Sudden. There Is The Eventual. And In Between, There Is The Living.

That No Matter What I Did, I Would Always Be Missing Something Else. And The Only Way To Live, The Only Way To Be Happy, Was To Make Sure The Things I Didn't Miss Meant More To Me Than The Things I Missed.

This Is The Thing They Don't Tell You About Being A Third Wheel - It's Not Like You're The Wheel That's Added On. You Were One Of The Original Two Wheels, But Suddenly You're Not So Important Anymore. The Relationship Drives Fine Without You.

I Had Made It Somewhere Special, And I'd Gotten There All On My Own. Nobody Had Given It To Me. Nobody Had Told Me To Do It. I'd Climbed And Climbed And Climbed, And This Was My Reward. To Watch Over The World, And To Be Alone With Myself. That, I Found, Was What I Needed.

We Wish We Could Have Been There For You. We Didn't Have Many Role Models Of Our Own--we Latched On To The Foolish Love Of Oscar Wilde And The Well-versed Longing Of Walt Whitman Because Nobody Else Was There To Show Us An Untortured Path. We Were Going To Be Your Role Models. We Were Going To Give You Art And Music And Confidence And Shelter And A Much Better World. Those Who Survived Lived To Do This. But We Haven't Been There For You. We've Been Here. Watching As You Become The Role Models.

But I Want To Feel Like Life Matters. I Had Something Real With You, But Then The Realness Scared Me. I Decided To Go For Other Things Instead.

And Maybe It Is Only By Finding Yourself That You Can Feel The True Intensity Of Becoming Close To Another Person.

Finding Yourself

That Strange, Twisted, Torn Love. That Conflict Between What Your Heart Knows Is Right And What Your Mind Is Told Is Right.

This Blue Shirt I Have Is Practically The Same Color As My Jeans, And Looking All-blue Is Something Only Cookie Monster Can Pull Off.

And I Told You: I Think Of A Photograph You Took Of Me, Up In Montreal. You Told Me To Jump In The Air, So In The Picture, My Feet Are Off The Ground. Later, I Asked You Why You Wanted Me To Do That, And You Told Me It Was The Only Way To Get Me To Forget About The Expression On My Face. You Were Right. I Am Completely Unposed, Completely Genuine. In My Mind’s Eye, I Picture Myself Like That, Reacting To You.

Every Relationship Has A Hard Part At The Beginning. This Is Our Hard Part. It's Not Like A Puzzle Piece Where There's An Instant Fit. With Relationships, You Have To Shape The Pieces On Each End Before They Go Perfectly Together.

What Separates Us From The Animals, What Separates Us From The Chaos, Is Our Ability To Mourn People We’ve Never Met.

Luckily, I Always Travel With A Book, Just In Case I Have To Wait On Line For Santa, Or Some Such Inconvenience.

I Have Become Very Good At Clearing Histories.

Me: Just Don't Ask About His Forty-three Ex-boyfriends, Okay? Or Ask Him About Why He's Carrying Around An Axe. Mom:... Me: I'm Kidding About The Axe Part.

Someday Your Prince Will Come," I Assure Him. "and The First Thing I'm Going To Say To Him Is, 'what Took You So Long?

A Guy Can Do Far Far Worse Than Surrounding Himself With People Who Restore His Faith In Humanity.

If This Continues, If This Goes On, Then When I Die, Your Memories Of Me Will Be My Greatest Accomplishment. You Memories Will Be My Most Lasting Impressions.

Lasting Impressions

I Can Honestly Say Ive Never Thought For A Second About Whether A Character Reflects Poorly On Any Group. All That Matters To Me Is That The Character Is True To My Belief In Who He Or She Is.

My Mother Said I Should Have A 'change Of Scenery.' The Word Scenery Made Be Think Of A Play. And As We Were Driving Around, It Made Sense That Way. Because No Matter How Much The Scenery Changed, We Were Still On The Same Stage.

Holden Caulfield Is The Embodiment Of What We Mean By The Phrase “young Adult” – Too Young To Be A Grown-up, But Too Wise To The World To Be Completely Innocent. He’s Caught In The In-between, And That In-between Is What All Young Adult Authors Write About.

Because Sometimes You Just Have To Dance Like A Madman In The Self-help Section Of Your Local Bookstore.

I Am Proud That I Defy Your Categories. I Am Proud That I Don't Fit Easily Into Any Box. I Am Proud Of All The Things I Am And All The Things I Can Be. Question Yourself Every Time You Think You Only See One Thing In Me.

Happiness Is So Rarely A Part Of My Vocabulary, Because For Me It's So Fleeting

In School, The Year Was The Marker. Fifth Grade. Senior Year Of High School. Sophomore Year Of College. Then After, The Jobs Were The Marker. That Office. This Desk. But Now That School Is Over And I've Been Working At The Same Place In The Same Office At The Same Desk For Longer Than I Can Truly Believe, I Realize: You Have Become The Marker. This Is Your Era. And It's Only If It Goes On And On That Will Have To Look For Other Ways To Identify The Time.

Now When I Have To Remember A Date, All I Have To Do Is Consult My Rap Sheet.

You See, Dash -- I Was Never The Girl In Your Head. And You Were Never The Boy In My Head. I Think We Both Knew That. It's Only When We Try To Make The Girl Or Boy In Our Head Real That The True Trouble Comes. I Did That With Carlos, And It Was A Bad Failure. Be Careful What You're Doing, Because No One Is Ever Who You Want Them To Be. And The Less You Really Know Them, The More Likely You Are To Confuse Them With The Girl Or Boy In Your Head.

I Know I Should Just Leave. Just Go. Because There's A Point Where A Mistake Turns Into A Big Mistake, And I Should Probably Come To My Senses Before I Get There.

This, I Think, Is How People Survive: Even When Horrible Things Have Been Done To Us, We Can Still Find Gratitude In One Another.

You Went And Broke Our Lives. You Are So Much Worse Than A Cheater. You Killed Something. And You Killed It When Its Back Was Turned.

We Found Out A Long Time Ago That We Weren’t Meant To Fall In Love With Each Other. But A Part Of Me Still Fell In Hope With Him.

Falling In Love

But If I Didn’t Want To Be Alone, Then Why Didn’t I Want To Be With Anyone Else?

Wants To Be Alone

It Was So Much Easier When I Didn't Want Anything. Not Getting What You Want Can Make You Cruel.

Getting What You Want

Seven Wonders Of The World And I Have To Ask For An Eighth Fill A Bottle With Some Prayers And Spend Them On Hope Create An Easy Route Just So I Can Complicate Send My Heart Down That Slippery Slope

I Never Have People Tell Me Their Stories. I Usually Have To Figure Them Out Myself. Because I Know That If People Tell Me Stories, They Will Expect Them To Be Remembered. And I Cannot Guarantee That. There Is No Way To Know If The Stories Stay After I'm Gone. And How Devastating Would It Be To Confide In Someone And Have The Confidence Disappear? I Don't Want To Be Responsible For That.

Guarantees That

I Measure The Moment In The Heartbeats I Skip

I Was Horribly Bookish, To The Point Of Coming Right Out And Saying It, Which I Knew Was Not Socially Acceptable. I Particularly Loved The Adjective Bookish, Which I Found Other People Used About As Often As Ramrod Or Chum Or Teetotaler.

But I Think We Both Knew, Even Then, That What We Had Was Something Even More Rare, And Even More Meaningful. I Was Going To Be His Friend, And Was Going To Show Him Possibilities. And He, In Turn, Would Become Someone I Could Trust More Than Myself.

I'm Not A Very Happy Person," I Told Him."but Sometimes I Can Trick Myself Into Thinking I Am.

I Have Always Been Aware Of How I Break. I Know What Kind Of Situations Will Break Me. I Know What Kind Of People Will Do It. I Know How Much It Will Hurt.

I Still Don’t Know If This Is A Good Quality Or A Bad One, To Be Able To Be In The Moment And Then Step Out Of It.

Underneath All That Denial, You're Someone Who's Deeply, Deeply Nice.

These Teenager Looks Aren't Going To Last Forever, And That There Are Much Better Foundation To Build A Life Upon Than How Attractive You Are.

There Comes A Time When The Body Takes Over The Life. There Comes A Time When The Body’s Urges, The Body’s Needs, Dictate The Life. You Have No Idea You Are Giving The Body The Key. But You Hand It Over. And Then It’s In Control. You Mess With The Wiring And The Wiring Takes Charge.

I Have Already Spent Roughly Five Thousand Hours Asleep Next To You. This Has To Mean Something.

Are You A Vegetarian?' I Ask, Based On The Evidence In Front Of Me. She Nods. 'why?' 'because I Have This Theory That When We Die, Every Animal That We've Eaten Has A Chance At Eating Us Back. So If You're A Carnivore And You Add Up All The Animals You've Eaten--well, That's A Long Time In Purgatory, Being Chewed.' 'really?' She Laughs. 'no. I'm Just Sick Of The Question. I Mean, I'm A Vegetarian Because I Think It's Wrong To Eat Other Sentient Creatures. And It Sucks For The Environment.

You Existed. You Existed Now As A Fractal. Definition: A Fractal Is Generally A Rough Or Fragmented Geometric Shape That Can Be Broken Into Parts, Each Of Which Is (at Least Approximately) A Reduced-size Copy Of The Whole. Maybe I Was A Fractal. Maybe The Photographer Was A Fractal. Maybe We Were All Fractals.

Geometric Shapes

I'm Not In Love With You.

Everyone In Our School Has Afterschool Activities. Mine Is Going Home.

Maybe Language Is Kind, Giving Us These Double Meanings. Maybe It's Trying To Teach Us A Lesson, That We Can Always Be Two Things At Once.

When We’re Alone Together, I’m The Destination. When I’m Here In Her Life At School, I’m The Disruption.

But We Comforted Ourselves With What We Really Meant To Say, Which Was: "i Don't Normally Feel This Good About What I'm Doing." Measure The Hope Of That Moment, That Feeling. Everything Else Will Be Measured Against It.

If You Want To Be Loved, Be A Lovable. It's A Good Place To Start.

I See Nick's Number. I Debate Whether To Assign A Name To His Number. If I Commit To That, Then I Will Truly Be Heartbroken If He Never Calls Me Again; My Heart Will Knot Each And Every Time I Use This Phone And See His Name In There. I Would Probably End Up Having To Trash The Phone Entirely.

Love Is The Higher Law.

When Distractions Are Manifold, It's Best To Remember What You Are Supposed To Be Doing.

The Most Understandable Thing In The World Should Be How Minutes Lead To Hours, How Hours Lead To Days, How Days Can Make A Year. And Yet, This Neat Progression Can Still Be Surprising.

It's Almost Heartening To Think That The Attachment You Have Can Define Your Perception As Much As Any Other Influence.

We Hold Hands As We Walk Through Town. If Anybody Notices, Nobody Cares. I Know We All Like To Think Of The Heart As The Center Of The Body But At This Moment, Every Conscious Part Of Me Is In The Hand That He Holds. It Is Through That Hand, That Feeling, That I Experience Everything Else.

He Never Wears A Watch (his Own Rebellion Against Time, Against Watching).

If You Tell Me, I Will Leave You Alone," I Said. "and If You Don't Tell Me, I Am Going To Grab The Nearest Ghostwritten James Patterson Romance Novel And I Am Going To Follow You Through This Store Reading It Out Loud Until You Relent. Would You Prefer Me To Read From Daphne's Three Tender Months With Harold Or Cindy And John's House Of Everlasting Love? I Guarantee, Your Sanity And Your Indie Street Cred Won't Last A Chapter. And They Are Very, Very Short Chapters." Now I Could See The Fright Beneath The Defiance.

Willyoupleasebequiet: Are You Ready? Bluejeanbaby: For What? Willyoupleasebequiet: The Future Willyoupleasebequiet: Because I Think It Just Started

This Is Why We Call People Exes, I Guess - Because The Paths That Cross In The Middle End Up Separating At The End. It's Too Easy To See An X As A Cross-out. It's Not, Because There's No Way To Cross Out Something Like That. The X Is A Diagram Of Two Paths.

It Was A Mistake," You Said. But The Cruel Thing Was, It Felt Like The Mistake Was Mine, For Trusting You.

Maybe Tonight You're Scared Of Falling, And Maybe There's Somebody Here Or Somewhere Else You're Thinking About, Worrying Over, Fretting Over, Trying To Figure Out If You Want To Fall, Or How And When You're Gonna Land, And I Gotta Tell You, Friends, To Stop Thinking About The Landing, Because It's All About Falling.

We Gather The Things We Learned, And They Don't Nearly Add Up To Fill The Space Of A Life. You Will Miss The Taste Of Froot Loops. You Will Miss The Sound Of Traffic. You Will Miss Your Back Against His. You Will Miss Him Stealing The Sheets. Do Not Ignore These Things.

I Want To Talk To You And Be Random With You And Be Ridiculous With You.

I Have Never Had Anybody Talk To Me Like This. This Is Not A Flirty Sixth-grade Phone Call Or Bantering With Friends Or Words Passed In A Note. I Feel That If My Soul Could Talk It Would Talk Like This.

Because When Something Happens, She's The Person I Want To Tell. The Most Basic Indicator Of Love.

I Find My Greatest Strengths In Wanting Ti Be Strong. I Find My Greatest Bravery In Deciding To Be Brave.

No, Really,' I Said. 'i Think She's Great. And I Honestly Like Her About Twenty More Times Now Than I Did When We Were Dating. But Love Needs To Have A Future. And Sofia And I Don't Have A Future. We've Just Had A Good Time Sharing The Present, That's All.

Every You, Every Me. Fractals. Fractures.

There Was A Time Before You But I Can't Remember It Now A Time Before Your Beauty And I Were Formally Introduced I'm Sure I Lived Without You But I Don't Remember How Can't Imagine Living Without These Feelings You've Produced Just One Glance And My Life Was Redrawn Just One Word And My Vocabulary Changed I Asked The Time And You Said 'what's The Hurry?' You Asked My Name And I Almost Forgot

Why Do We Even Bother? Why Do We Make Ourselves So Open To Such Easy Damage? Is It All Loneliness? Is It All Fear? Or Is It Just To Experience Those Narcotic Moments Of Belonging With Someone Else?

Life Goes On Is A Redundancy. Life Is Defined By Its Going On.

Even When I Detach, I Care. You Can Be Separate From A Thing And Still Care About It. If I Wanted To Detach Completely, I Would Move My Body Away. I Would Stop The Conversation Midsentence. I Would Leave The Bed. Instead, I Hover Over It For A Second. I Glance Off In Another Direction. But I Always Glance Back At You.

Why Won't They Leave Me Alone? Don't They Realize I Have A Tinder Heart And A Paper Body And That Any Spark Will Turn Me Straight To Ash?

I Can't Pretend To Know What Love Is. It Just Is.

My Pride Shut Me Up, My Hurt Shut Me Down, And Together They Ganged Up On My Hope And Let Her Get Away.

Sometimes The Space Between Knowing What To Do And Actually Doing It Is A Very Short Walk. Other Times It Is An Impossible Expanse.

And When He Catches Me Off Guard And Says 'i Love You' I Catch Him Off Guard And Say 'i Need Your Help.

You Can't Know What It Is Like For Us Now--you Will Always Be One Step Behind. Be Thankful For That. You Can't Know What It Was Like For Us Then--you Will Always Be One Step Ahead. Be Thankful For That, Too.

When Dawn Looked At Vic, She Saw Vic Exactly As He Wanted To Be Seen. Whereas Vic's Parents Couldn't Help Seeing Who He Used To Be, And So Many Friends And Strangers Couldn't Help Seeing Who He Didn't Want To Be Anymore, Dawn Only Saw Him. Call It A Blur If You Want, But Dawn Didn't See A Blur. She Saw A Very Distinct, Very Clear Person.

The World, Right Now, Is Only Us.

I Couldn't Remember Ordinary Moments, Only The Ones That Had Made An Impression. Ordinary Moments Were The Ones That Fell Away First.

It’s As Simple As That. Simple And Complicated, As Most True Things Are.

This Is The Hard Part About Having Best Friends That I Feel No Attachment To -- I Don't Give Them Any Benefit Of The Doubt. And Being Best Friends Is Always About The Benefit Of The Doubt.

I Was Starting To Think I Was Making Up Memories, Just To Have Answers. Our Brain Does That Sometimes. Or At Least Mine Does.

Deep Down? That Sounds Like Settling To Me. You Shouldn't Have To Venture Deep Down In Order To Get To Love.

There's No Way For Them To Take Away My Sadness, But They Can Make Sure I Am Not Empty Of All The Other Feelings.

It’s Up To You, Not Fate. True. But It Was Also Up To Lily. That Was The Trickiest Part.

This Is What I Never Allowed Myself To Need. And Of Course What I've Been Needing All Along.

The World Loves Stupid Labels. I Wish We Got To Choose Our Own.

We Love And We Feel And We Try And We Hope.

Dissonance, N. Nights When I Need To Sleep And You Can't. Days When I Want To Talk To You And You Won't. Hours When Every Noise You Make Interferes With My Silence. Weeks When There Is A Buzzing In The Air, And We Both Pretend We Don't Here It.

Some Days Are Like This. And The Only Way To Get Through Them Is To Remember That They Are Only One Day, And That Every Day Ends.

Laughter Rarely Lasts Longer Than A Few Seconds, It's True. But How Enjoyable Those Few Seconds Are.

Why Is It So Much Easier To Talk To A Stranger? Why Do We Feel We Need To Disconnect In Order To Connect? If I Wrote "dear Sofia" Or "dear Boomer" Or "dear Lily's Great-aunt" At The Top Of This Postcard, Wouldn't That Change The Words That Followed? Of Course It Would. But The Question Is: When I Wrote "dear Lily," Was That Just A Version Of "dear Myself"? I Know It Was More Than That. But It Was Also Less Than That, Too

If We Actually Thought About Every Decision We Made, We'd Be Paralyzed ... You Have To Decide Which Decisions You're Actually Going To Make, And Then You Have To Let The Rest Of Them Go.

The World Is Quieter Now. It Is Never Quiet, But It Can Get Quieter. What Strange Creatures We Are, To Find Silence Peaceful, When Permanent Silence Is The Thing We Most Dread. Nighttime Is Not That. Nighttime Still Rustles, Still Creaks And Whispers And Trembles In Its Throat. It Is Not Darkness We Fear, But Our Own Helplessness Within It. How Merciful To Have Been Granted The Other Senses.

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Oskar Schindler

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