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Let Every Fart Count As A Peal Of Thunder For Liberty. Let Every Fart Remind The Nation Of How Much It Has Let Pass Out Of Its Control. It Is A Small Gesture, But One That Can Be Very Effective - Especially In A Large Crowd. So Fart, And If You Must, Fart Often. But Always Fart Without Apology. Fart For Freedom, Fart For Liberty - And Fart Proudly.

-Benjamin Franklin

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Let Every Fart Count

Benjamin Franklin

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Let Every Fart Count As A Peal Of Thunder For Liberty. Let Every Fart Remind The Nation Of How Much It Has Let Pass Out Of Its Control. It Is A Small Gesture, But One That Can Be Very Effective - Especially In A Large Crowd. So Fart, And If You Must, Fart Often. But Always Fart Without Apology. Fart For Freedom, Fart For Liberty - And Fart Proudly.

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He's Gone, And Forgot Nothing But To Say Farewell To His Creditors

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What Signifies Philosophy That Does Not Apply To Some Use? May We Not Learn From Hence, That Black Clothes Are Not So Fit To Wear In A Hot Sunny Climate Or Season, As White Ones; Because In Such Cloaths The Body Is More Heated By The Sun When We Walk Abroad, And Are At The Same Time Heated By The Exercise, Which Double Heat Is Apt To Bring On Putrid Dangerous Fevers? The Soldiers And Seamen, Who Must March And Labour In The Sun, Should In The East Or West Indies Have An Uniform Of White?

Your Argument Is Sound, Nothing But Sound.

Those Who Would Give Up Liberty For Safety Deserve Neither.

Are You Angry That Others Disappoint You? Remember You Cannot Depend Upon Yourself.

Now I've A Sheep And A Cow, Every Body Bids Me Good Morrow.

The Borrower Is A Slave To The Lender And The Debtor To The Creditor.

The Heart Of A Fool Is In His Mouth, But The Mouth Of A Wise Man Is In His Heart.

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But The Most Dangerous Hypocrite In A Common-wealth, Is One Who Leaves The Gospel For The Sake Of The Law: A Man Compounded Of Law And Gospel, Is Able To Cheat A Whole Country With His Religion, And Then Destroy Them Under Colour Of Law: And Here The Clergy Are In Great Danger Of Being Deceiv'd, And The People Of Being Deceiv'd By The Clergy, Until The Monster Arrives To Such Power And Wealth, That He Is Out Of The Reach Of Both, And Can Oppress The People Without Their Own Blind Assistance.

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That There Is One God, Who Made All Things. That He Governs The World By His Providence. That He Might Be Worshipped By Adoration, Prayer, And Thanksgiving. But That The Most Acceptable Service Of God Is Doing Good To Man. That The Soul Is Immortal. And That God Will Certainly Reward Virtue And Punish Vice, Either Here Or Hereafter.

Knowledge Of The Investment Is Most Profitable

If You Ride A Horse, Sit Close And Tight, If You Ride A Man, Sit Easy And Light.

I Looked Around For God's Judgments, But Saw No Signs Of Them.

You Will Discover 3 Trustworthy Mates, An Aged Wife, An Aged Canine, And Ready Dollars.

Be Not Niggardly Of What Costs Thee Nothing, As Courtesy, Counsel, & Countenance.

Sloth, Like Rust, Consumes Faster Than Labor Wears, While The Used Key Is Always Bright.

He That's Content Hath Enough.

The Refusal Of King George To Allow The Colonies To Operate An Honest Money System, Which Freed The Ordinary Man From Clutches Of The Money Manipulators Was Probably The Prime Cause Of The Revolution.

He That Cannot Obey, Cannot Command.

All Who Think Cannot But See There Is A Sanction Like That Of Religion Which Binds Us In Partnership In The Serious Work Of The World.

[e]very Man Who Comes Among Us, And Takes Up A Piece Of Land, Becomes A Citizen, And By Our Constitution Has A Voice In Elections, And A Share In The Government Of The Country.

Buy What Thou Hast No Need Of And Ere Long Thou Shalt Sell Thy Necessities.

Ben Franklin Was A Little Stout Later In Life And It Was Said That In Paris A Young Woman, Tapping Him On His Protruding Abdomen, Said,"dr. Franklin, If This Were On A Woman, We'd Know What To Think." And Franklin Replied,"half An Hour Ago, Mademoiselle, It Was On A Woman, And Now What Do You Think?"

Speak Little, Do Much.

Despair Ruins Some, Presumption Many.

Wise Men Don't Need Advice. Fools Won't Take It.

Let Thy Discontents Be Thy Secrets; If The World Knows Them 'twill Despise Thee And Increase Them.

Strive To Be The Best And You May Succeed: He May Well Win The Race That Runs By Himself.

When Men And Woman Die, As Poets Sung, His Heart's The Last Part Moves, Her Last, The Tongue.

When The Well Is Dry, We Know The Worth Of Water.

If Better Is Possible, Good Is Not Enough

If Your Riches Are Yours, Why Don't You Take Them With You To The Other World?

Why Ruin A Young Girl's Life When You Can Make An Older Women So Very Happy !

If You'd Be Wealthy, Think Of Saving, More Than Of Getting: The Indies Have Not Made Spain Rich, Because Her Outgoes Equal Her Incomes.

Only A Virtuous People Are Capable Of Freedom.

Admiration Is The Daughter Of Ignorance.

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We Are Not Certain, We Are Never Certain. If We Were We Could Reach Some Conclusions, And We Could, At Last, Make Others Take Us Seriously. In This World Nothing Can Be Said To Be Certain, Except Death And Taxes.

The Best Thing To Give To Your Enemy Is Forgiveness; To An Opponent, Tolerance; To A Friend, Your Heart; To Your Child, A Good Example; To A Father, Deference; To Your Mother, Conduct That Will Make Her Proud Of You; To Yourself, Respect; To All Others, Charity.

He Who Gives Up Freedom For Safety Deserves Neither.

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It Is A Strange Anomaly That Men Could Be Careful To Insure Their Houses, Their Ships, Their Merchandise, And Yet Neglect To Insure Their Lives - Surely The Most Important Of All To Their Families, And More Subject To Loss.

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O Lazy Bones! Dost Thou Think God Would Have Given Thee Arms And Legs, If He Had Not Design'd Thou Should'st Use Them?

Contentment Makes A Poor Person Rich And Discontent Makes A Rich Person Poor.

Here You Would Know, And Enjoy, What Prosperity Will Way Of Washington. For A Thousand Leagues Have Nearly The Same Effect With A Thousand Years.

But They Have Two Other Rights; Those Of Sitting When They Please, And As Long As They Please, In Which Methinks They Have The Advantage Of Your Parliament; For They Cannot Be Dissolved By The Breath Of A Minister, Or Sent Packing As You Were The Other Day, When It Was Your Earnest Desire To Have Remained Longer Together.

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The Generous Mind Least Regards Money, And Yet Most Feels The Want Of It.

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Either Write Something Worth Reading Or Do Something Worth Writing.

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Those Who Are Content Have Enough; Those That Complain, Have Too Much.

Hear Reason, Or She'll Make You Feel Her.

An Undutiful Daughter Will Prove An Unmanageable Wife.

Don't Go To The Doctor With Every Distemper, Nor To The Lawyer With Every Quarrel, Nor To The Pot For Every Thirst.

We Should Make The Poor Uncomfortable And Kick Them Out Of Poverty.

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When You Taste Honey, Remember Gall.

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Necessity Never Made A Good Bargain.

Let No Pleasure Tempt Thee, No Profit Allure Thee, No Persuasion Move Thee, To Do Anything Which Thou Knowest To Be Evil; So Shalt Thou Always Live Jollity; For A Good Conscience Is A Continual Christmas.

Teach Your Child To Hold His Tongue; He'll Learn Fast Enough To Speak.

Cunning Proceeds From Want Of Capacity.

Genius Is The Ability To Hold One's Vision Steady Until It Becomes Reality

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In 1736 I Lost One Of My Sons, A Fine Boy Of Four Years Old, By The Small-pox, Taken In The Common Way. I Long Regretted Bitterly, And Still Regret That I Had Not Given It To Him By Inoculation. This I Mention For The Sake Of Parents Who Omit That Operation, On The Supposition That They Should Never Forgive Themselves If A Child Died Under It; My Example Showing That The Regret May Be The Same Either Way, And That, Therefore, The Safer Should Be Chosen.

Graft Good Fruit All, Or Graft Not At All.

The Exact Quantity And Quality Being Found Out, Is To Be Kept To Constantly.

Quantity And Quality

Lend Money To An Enemy, And Thou Will Gain Him, To A Friend And Thou Will Lose Him.

Epitaph On A Scolding Wife By Her Husband: Here My Poor Bridget's Corpse Doth Lie, She Is At Rest - And So Am I!

Men's Minds Do Not Die With Their Bodies But Are Made More Happy Or Miserable After This Life According To Their Actions.

Nothing Brings More Pain Than Too Much Pleasure; Nothing More Bondage Than Too Much Liberty.

Industry, Perseverance, And Frugality Make Fortune Yield.

I Would Rather Have It Said, 'he Lived Usefully,' Than, 'he Died Rich.'

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The Nearest I Can Make It Out, "love Your Enemies" Means, "hate Your Friends"

What I Am To Be, I Am Now Becoming.

Diligence Is The Mother Of Good Luck, And God Gives All Things To Industry. Work While It Is Called Today, For You Know Not How Much You May Be Hindered By Tomorrow. One Today Is Worth Two Tomorrows; Never Leave That Till Tomorrow Which You Can Do To-day.

Procrastination

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He That Scatters Thorns, Let Him Not Go Barefoot.

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Pride Gets Into The Coach, And Shame Mounts Behind.

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When Men Are Employed They Are Best Contented.

Those Who Would Trade In Their Freedom For Their Protection Deserve Neither.

Fond Pride Of Dress Is Sure A Very Curse

Learn Of The Skillful; He That Teaches Himself, Has A Fool For His Master.

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An Egg To Day Is Better Than A Hen To-morrow.

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Tis Easy To See, Hard To Foresee.

The Golden Age Was Never The Present Age.

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Alas, I Know If I Ever Became Truly Humble, I Would Be Proud Of It.

I Didn't Fail The Test, I Just Found 100 Ways To Do It Wrong.

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If This Lady Is Pleased To Spend Her Days With Franklin, He Would Be Just As Pleased To Spend His Nights With Her.

Nothing Great Comes Without Enthusiasm.

He Who Will Not Be Counseled Cannot Be Helped.

By Failing To Prepare, You Are Preparing To Fail.

Great Talkers Should Be Cropt, For They've No Need Of Ears.

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