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If Doubtful Whether To End With "yours Faithfully," Or "yours Truly," Or "yours Most Truly," &c. (there Are At Least A Dozen Varieties, Before You Reach "yours Affectionately"), Refer To Your Correspondent's Last Letter, And Make Your Winding-up At Least As Friendly As His: In Fact, Even If A Shade More Friendly, It Will Do No Harm!

-Lewis Carroll

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If Doubtful Whether To

Lewis Carroll

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If Doubtful Whether To End With "yours Faithfully," Or "yours Truly," Or "yours Most Truly," &c. (there Are At Least A Dozen Varieties, Before You Reach "yours Affectionately"), Refer To Your Correspondent's Last Letter, And Make Your Winding-up At Least As Friendly As His: In Fact, Even If A Shade More Friendly, It Will Do No Harm!

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"try Another Subtraction Sum. Take A Bone From A Dog: What Remains?" [asked The Red Queen] Alice Considered. "the Bone Wouldn't Remain, Of Course, If I Took It-and The Dog Wouldn't Remain; It Would Come To Bite Me-and I'm Sure I Shouldn't Remain!" "then You Think Nothing Would Remain?" Said The Red Queen. "i Think That's The Answer." "wrong, As Usual," Said The Red Queen, "the Dog's Temper Would Remain."

Why, What A Temper You Are In!

You're Thinking About Something, My Dear, And That Makes You Forget To Talk. I Can't Tell You Just Now What The Moral Of That Is, But I Shall Remember It In A Bit." "perhaps It Hasn't One," Alice Ventured To Remark. "tut, Tut, Child!" Said The Duchess. "everything's Got A Moral, If Only You Can Find It.

The Hurrier I Go, The Behinder I Get.

Fading, With The Night, The Memory Of A Dead Love, And The Withered Leaves Of A Blighted Hope, And The Sickly Repinings And Moody Regrets That Numb The Best Energies Of The Soul: And Rising, Broadening, Rolling Upward Like A Living Flood, The Manly Resolve, And The Dauntless Will, And The Heavenward Gaze Of Faith-the Substance Of Things Hoped For, The Evidence Of Things Not Seen!

Alice Came To A Fork In The Road. 'which Road Do I Take?' She Asked. 'where Do You Want To Go?' Responded The Cheshire Cat. 'i Don't Know,' Alice Answered. 'then,' Said The Cat, 'it Doesn't Matter.

Be Sure The Safest Rule Is That We Should Not Dare To Live In Any Scene In Which We Dare Not Die.

The Rule Is, Jam Tomorrow And Jam Yesterday-but Never Jam Today It Must Come Sometime To Jam Today, Alice Objected No It Can't Said The Queen It's Jame Every Other Day. Today Isn't Any Other Day, You Know

"she Can't Do Sums A Bit!" The Queens Said Together, With Great Emphasis. "can You Do Sums?" Alice Said, Turning Suddenly On The White Queen, For She Didn't Like Being Found Fault With So Much. The Queen Gasped And Shut Her Eyes. "i Can Do Addition, If You Give Me Time-but I Can Do Subtraction, Under Any Circumstances!"

One Thing Was Certain, That The White Kitten Had Had Nothing To Do With It-- It Was The Black Kitten's Fault Entirely.

Cheshire Cat: If I Were Looking For A White Rabbit, I'd Ask The Mad Hatter. Alice: The Mad Hatter? Oh, No No No... Cheshire Cat: Or, You Could Ask The March Hare, In That Direction. Alice: Oh, Thank You. I Think I'll See Him... Cheshire Cat: Of Course, He's Mad, Too. Alice: But I Don't Want To Go Among Mad People. Cheshire Cat: Oh, You Can't Help That. Most Everyone's Mad Here. [laughs Maniacally; Starts To Disappear] Cheshire Cat: You May Have Noticed That I'm Not All There Myself.

The Master Was An Old Turtle--we Used To Call Him Tortoise--' Why Did You Call Him Tortoise, If He Wasn't One?' Alice Asked. We Called Him Tortoise Because He Taught Us,' Said The Mock Turtle Angrily; 'really You Are Very Dull!' You Ought To Be Ashamed Of Yourself For Asking Such A Simple Question,' Added The Gryphon; And Then They Both Sat Silent And Looked At Poor Alice, Who Felt Ready To Sink Into The Earth.

If You Want To Inspire Confidence, Give Plenty Of Statistics. It Does Not Matter That They Should Be Accurate, Or Even Intelligible, As Long As There Is Enough Of Them.

Do Not, Oh Do Not Indulge Such A Wild Idea That A Newspaper Might Err! If So What Have We To Trust In This Age Of Sham?

In Another Moment Down Went Alice After It, Never Once Considering How In The World She Was To Get Out Again.

Alice Had Begun With 'let's Pretend We're Kings And Queens;' And Her Sister, Who Liked Being Exact, Had Argued That They Couldn't, Because There Were Only Two Of Them, And Alice Hand Been Reduced At Last To Say, 'well, You Can Be One Of Them Then, And I'll Be The Rest.

Lastly, She Pictured To Herself How This Same Little Sister Of Hers Would, In The After-time, Be Herself A Grown Woman; And How She Would Keep, Through All Her Riper Years, The Simple And Loving Heart Of Her Childhood: And How She Would Gather About Her Other Little Children, And Make Their Eyes Bright And Eager With Many A Strange Tale, Perhaps Even With The Dream Of Wonderland Of Long Ago: And How She Would Feel With All Their Simple Sorrows, And Find A Pleasure In All Their Simple Joys, Remembering Her Own Child-life, And The Happy Summer Days.

Charles Lutwidge Dodgson's Life In Space-time Colored His Liberated Life Of The Imagination.

A Minute Goes By So Fearfully Quick. You Might As Well Try To Stop A Bandersnatch!

Yet What Are All Such Gaieties To Me Whose Thoughts Are Full Of Indices And Surds?

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I Have Proved By Actual Trial That A Letter, That Takes An Hour To Write, Takes Only About 3 Minutes To Read!

Then You Should Say What You Mean," The March Hare Went On. "i Do," Alice Hastily Replied; "at Least--at Least I Mean What I Say--that's The Same Thing, You Know." "not The Same Thing A Bit!" Said The Hatter. "you Might Just As Well Say That "i See What I Eat" Is The Same Thing As "i Eat What I See"!

If You Set To Work To Believe Everything, You Will Tire Out The Believing-muscles Of Your Mind, And Then You'll Be So Weak You Won't Be Able To Believe The Simplest True Things.

'i Beg Your Pardon?' Alice Said With A Puzzled Air. 'i'm Not Offended,' Said Humpty Dumpty.

The Sun Was Shining On The Sea, Shining With All His Might: He Did His Very Best To Make The Billows Smooth And Bright-- And This Was Odd, Because It Was The Middle Of The Night.

Who Can Tell Whether The Parallelogram, Which In Our Ignorance We Have Defined And Drawn, And The Whole Of Whose Properties We Profess To Know, May Not Be All The While Panting For Exterior Angles, Sympathetic With The Interior, Or Sullenly Repining At The Fact That It Cannot Be Inscribed In A Circle?

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Do Let's Pretend That I'm A Hungry Hyena, And You're A Bone!

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I'm Doubtful About The Temper Of Your Flamingo. Shall I Try The Experiment?

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He Was Part Of My Dream, Of Course -- But Then I Was Part Of His Dream, Too.

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My View Of Life Is, That It's Next To Impossible To Convince Anybody Of Anything.

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Is Life Itself A Dream, I Wonder?

To The Looking-glass World It Was Alice That Said 'i've A Sceptre In Hand, I've A Crown On My Head. Let The Looking-glass Creatures, Whatever They Be, Come And Dine With The Red Queen, The White Queen, And Me.

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Well, When One's Lost, I Suppose It's Good Advice To Stay Where You Are Until Someone Finds You.

Off With Their Heads!

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If You Limit Your Actions In Life To Things That Nobody Can Possibly Find Fault With, You Will Not Do Much!

Courtesy Is A Small Act But It Packs A Mighty Wallop.

You Can't Be That Good; You Work For Me.

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I Can't Go Back To Yesterday - Because I Was A Different Person Then.

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"take Some More Tea," The March Hare Said To Alice, Very Earnestly. "i've Had Nothing Yet," Alice Replied In An Offended Tone, "so I Can't Take More."

Burning With Curiosity

Alice Had Got So Much Into The Way Of Expecting Nothing But Out-of-the-way Things To Happen, That It Seemed Quite Dull And Stupid For Life To Go On In The Common Way.

'o Tiger-lily,' Said Alice... 'i Wish You Could Talk!' 'we Can Talk,' Said The Tiger-lily: 'when There's Anybody Worth Talking To."

Once She Remembered Trying To Box Her Own Ears For Having Cheated Herself In A Game Of Croquet She Was Playing Against Herself, For This Curious Child Was Very Fond Of Pretending To Be Two People.

I Don't Believe There's An Atom Of Meaning In It.

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It Is A Very Inconvenient Habit Of Kittens (alice Had Once Made The Remark) That, Whatever You Say To Them, They Always Purr: "if They Would Only Purr For 'yes,' And Mew For 'no,; Or Any Rule Of That Sort," She Had Said, "so That One Could Keep Up A Conversation! But How Can You Talk With A Person If They Always Say The Same Thing?

Where One Is Hopelessly Undecided As To What To Say, There (as Confucius Would Have Said, If They Had Given Him The Opportunity) Silence Is Golden.

Can You Row?" The Sheep Asked, Handing Her A Pair Of Knitting-needles As She Spoke. "yes, A Little--but Not On Land--and Not With Needles--" Alice Was Beginning To Say.

She's Stark Raving Mad!

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'and How, Who Am I? I Will Remember, If I Can! I'm Determined To Do It!' But Being Determined Didn't Help Much.

Forbid The Day When Vivisection Shall Be Practised In Every College And School, And When The Man Of Science, Looking Forth Over A World Which Will Then Own No Other Sway Than His, Shall Exult In The Thought That He Has Made Of This Fair Earth, If Not A Heaven, At Least A Hell For Animals.

You Won't Make Yourself A Bit Realer By Crying.

Through The Looking Glass

So Young A Child Ought To Know Which Way She's Going, Even If She Doesn't Know Her Own Name!

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She Was A Little Startled By Seeing The Cheshire Cat Sitting On A Bough Of A Tree A Few Yards Off. The Cat Only Grinned When It Saw Alice.

That Which Chiefly Causes The Failure Of A Dinner-party, Is The Running Short--not Of Meat, Nor Yet Of Drink, But Of Conversation.

We Haven't Any And You're Too Young.

Alice In Wonderland Book

Alice In Wonderland Tea

You Evidently Do Not Suffer From "quotation-hunger" As I Do! I Get All The Dictionaries Of Quotations I Can Meet With, As I Always Want To Know Where A Quotation Comes From.

It's A Large As Life And Twice As Natural

Through The Looking Glass

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You're Thinking About Something, My Dear, And That Makes You Forget To Talk.

If He Smiled Much More, The Ends Of His Mouth Might Meet Behind, And Then I Don't Know What Would Happen To His Head! I'm Afraid It Would Come Off!

When I Used To Read Fairy-tales, I Fancied That Kind Of Thing Never Happened, And Now Here I Am In The Middle Of One!

Take My Friends And My Home - As An Outcast I'll Roam: Take The Money I Have In The Bank: It Is Just What I Wish, But Deprive Me Of Fish, And My Life Would Indeed Be Blank.

You Could Not See A Cloud, Because No Cloud Was In The Sky: No Birds Were Flying Overhead - There Were No Birds To Fly.

I Wish I Dared Dispense With All Costume. Naked Children Are So Perfectly Pure And Lovely; But Mrs. Grundy Would Be Furious - It Would Never Do.

Whatever Is Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Well.

But Then, Shall I Never Get Any Older Than I Am Now? That'll Be A Comfort, One Way -- Never To Be An Old Woman -- But Then -- Always To Have Lessons To Learn!

I Wish I Hadn't Cried So Much!” Said Alice, As She Swam About, Trying To Find Her Way Out. I Shall Be Punished For It Now, I Suppose, By Being Drowned In My Own Tears !

Whenever The Horse Stopped (which It Did Very Often), He Fell Off In Front; And, Whenever It Went On Again (which It Generally Did Rather Suddenly), He Fell Off Behind. Otherwise He Kept On Pretty Well, Except That He Had A Habit Of Now And Then Falling Off Sideways; And, As He Generally Did This On The Side On Which Alice Was Walking, She Soon Found That It Was The Best Plan Not To Walk Quite Close To The Horse.

All In The Golden Afternoon Full Leisurely We Glide; For Both Our Oars, With Little Skill, By Little Arms Are Plied, While Little Hands Make Vain Pretence Our Wanderings To Guide.

She Generally Gave Herself Very Good Advice, (though She Very Seldom Followed It).

I Have Seen So Many Extraordinary Things, Nothing Seems Extraordinary Any More

Extraordinary Things

Always Speak The Truth, Think Before You Speak, And Write It Down Afterwards.

Well That Was The Silliest Tea Party I Ever Went To! I Am Never Going Back There Again!

I Have Had Prayers Answered - Most Strangely So Sometimes - But I Think Our Heavenly Father's Loving-kindness Has Been Even More Evident In What He Has Refused Me.

Who Sail On Stormy Seas; And That's The Way I Get My Bread -- A Trifle, If You Please.

If I Was Not Assured By The Best Authority On Earth That The World Is To Be Destroyed By Fire, I Should Conclude That The Day Of Destruction Is At Hand, But Brought On By Means Of An Agent Very Opposite To That Of Heat.

Read The Directions And Directly You Will Be Directed In The Right Direction.

Right Direction

I Cannot Even Pretend To Feel As Much Interest In Boys As In Girls.

Do You Suppose She's A Wildflower?

No Discussion Between Two Persons Can Be Of Any Use, Until Each Knows Clearly What It Is That The Other Asserts.

You're Entirely Bonkers. But I'll Tell You A Secret... All The Best People Are!

I Wonder If The Snow Loves The Trees And Fields, That It Kisses Them So Gently? And Then It Covers Them Up Snug, You Know, With A White Quilt; And Perhaps It Says "go To Sleep, Darlings, Till The Summer Comes Again.

Still, As Christmas-tide Comes Round, They Remember It Again - Echo Still The Joyful Sound "peace On Earth, Good-will To Men!"

And How Do You Know That You're Mad?

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She [alice] Went On "and How Do You Know That You're Mad?" "to Begin With," Said The Cat, "a Dog's Not Mad. You Grant That?" "i Suppose So," Said Alice. "well, Then," The Cat Went On, "you See, A Dog Growls When It's Angry, And Wags It's Tail When It's Pleased. Now I Growl When I'm Pleased, And Wag My Tail When I'm Angry. Therefore I'm Mad."

Without A Plan, It Doesn't Matter Which Way You're Going.

I Wish I Could Manage To Be Glad! Only I Never Can Remember The Rule. You Must Be Very Happy, Living In This Wood, And Being Glad Whenever You Like!

There's No Use In Comparing One's Feelings Between One Day And The Next; You Must Allow A Reasonable Interval, For The Direction Of Change To Show Itself.

Better Say Nothing At All. Language Is Worth A Thousand Pounds A Word!

Which Way You Ought To Go Depends On Where You Want To Get To.

Here Is A Golden Rule.... Write Legibly. The Average Temper Of The Human Race Would Be Perceptibly Sweetened, If Everybody Obeyedthis Rule!

Alice Tried Another Question. "what Sort Of People Live About Here?" "in That Direction," The Cat Said, Waving Its Right Paw Round, "lives A Hatter: And In That Direction," Waving The Other Paw, "lives A March Hare. Visit Either You Like: They're Both Mad." "but I Don't Want To Go Among Mad People," Alice Remarked. "oh, You Can't Help That," Said The Cat: "we're All Mad Here. I'm Mad. You're Mad." "how Do You Know I'm Mad?" Said Alice. "you Must Be," Said The Cat, "or You Wouldn't Have Come Here."

She Who Saves A Single Soul, Saves The Universe.

It’s A Miserable Story!” Said Bruno. “it Begins Miserably, And It Ends Miserablier. I Think I Shall Cry. Sylvie, Please Lend Me Your Handkerchief.” “i Haven’t Got It With Me,” Sylvie Whispered. “then I Won’t Cry,” Said Bruno Manfully.

When She Thought It Over Afterwards It Occurred To Her That She Ought To Have Wondered At This, But At The Time It All Seemed Quite Natural

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So She Was Considering In Her Own Mind...whether The Pleasure Of Making A Daisy-chain Would Be Worth The Trouble Of Getting Up & Picking The Daisies.

So She Sat On With Closed Eyes, And Half Believed Herself In Wonderland, Though She Knew She Had But To Open Them Again, And All Would Change To Dull Reality.

It Was For Bringing The Cook Tulip-roots Instead Of Onions.

Mad Hatter: “why Is A Raven Like A Writing-desk?” “have You Guessed The Riddle Yet?” The Hatter Said, Turning To Alice Again. “no, I Give It Up,” Alice Replied: “what’s The Answer?” “i Haven’t The Slightest Idea,” Said The Hatter

In A Wonderland They Lie, Dreaming As The Days Go By

I Wonder If I've Been Changed In The Night. Let Me Think. Was I The Same When I Got Up This Morning? I Almost Think I Can Remember Feeling A Little Different. But If I'm Not The Same, The Next Question Is 'who In The World Am I?' Ah, That's The Great Puzzle!

You Are Old Father William,' The Young Man Said, 'and Your Hair Has Become Very White; And Yet You Incessantly Stand On Your Head-do You Think, At Your Age, It Is Right?

She's In That State Of Mind That She Wants To Deny Something Only She Doesn't Know What To Deny!

I Believe This Thought, Of The Possibility Of Death - If Calmly Realised, And Steadily Faced Would Be One Of The Best Possible Tests As To Our Going To Any Scene Of Amusement Being Right Or Wrong.

It'll Be No Use Their Putting Their Heads Down And Saying "come Up Again, Dear!" I Shall Only Look Up And Say "who Am I Then? Tell Me That First, And Then, If I Like Being That Person, I'll Come Up: If Not, I'll Stay Down Here Till I'm Somebody Else"--but, Oh Dear!' Cried Alice, With A Sudden Burst Of Tears, 'i Do Wish They Would Put Their Heads Down! I Am So Very Tired Of Being All Alone Here!

I Give Myself Very Good Advice, But I Very Seldom Follow It.

You Shouldn't Make Jokes If It Makes You So Unhappy.

Keep Your Temper, Said The Caterpillar.

What Do You Suppose Is The Use Of A Child Without Any Meaning? Even A Joke Should Have Some Meaning-- And A Child's More Imporant Than A Joke, I Hope. You Couldn't Deny That, Even If You Tried With Both Hands.

I Dare Say You Never Even Spoke To Time!" "perhaps Not," Alice Cautiously Replied; "but I Know I Have To Beat Time When I Listen To Music." "ah! That Accounts For It," Said The Hatter. "he Won't Stand A Beating. Now, If Only You Kept On Good Terms With Him, He'd Do Almost Anything You Like With The Clock.

Photography Is My One Recreation And I Think It Should Be Done Well.

When I Come Upon Anything-in Logic Or In Any Other Hard Subject-that Entirely Puzzles Me, I Find It A Capital Plan To Talk It Over, Aloud, Even When I Am All Alone. One Can Explain Things So Clearly To One's Self! And Then, You Know, One Is So Patient With One's Self: One Never Gets Irritated At One's Own Stupidity!

I Can't Explain Myself, I'm Afraid, Sir,' Said Alice, 'because I'm Not Myself You See.

Through The Looking Glass

In Fact, Now I Come To Think Of It, Do We Decide Questions, At All? We Decide Answers, No Doubt: But Surely The Questions Decide Us? It Is The Dog, You Know, That Wags The Tail--not The Tail That Wags The Dog.

"the Horror Of That Moment," The King Went On, "i Shall Never, Never Forget!" "you Will, Though," The Queen Said, "if You Don't Make A Memorandum Of It."

I Can Explain All The Poems That Were Ever Invented - And A Good Many That Haven't Been Invented Just Yet.

Through The Looking Glass

How Puzzling All These Changes Are! I'm Never Sure What I'm Going To Be, From One Minute To Another.

Soup Of The Evening, Beautiful Soup! Soup Of The Evening, Beautiful Soup! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Soo--oop Of The E--e--evening, Beautiful, Beautiful Soup!

The Proper Definition Of A Man Is An Animal That Writes Letters.

Come, My Child," I Said, Trying To Lead Her Away. "wish Good-bye To The Poor Hare, And Come And Look For Blackberries." "good-bye, Poor Hare!" Sylvie Obediently Repeated, Looking Over Her Shoulder At It As We Turned Away. And Then, All In A Moment, Her Self-command Gave Way. Pulling Her Hand Out Of Mine, She Ran Back To Where The Dead Hare Was Lying, And Flung Herself Down At Its Side In Such An Agony Of Grief As I Could Hardly Have Believed Possible In So Young A Child. "oh, My Darling, My Darling!" She Moaned, Over And Over Again. "and God Meant Your Life To Be So Beautiful!

I Confess I Do Not Admire Naked Boys. They Always Seem To Me To Need Clothes, Whereas One Hardly Sees Why The Lovely Forms Of Girls Should Ever Be Covered Up.

Curiouser And Curiouser.

To Me It Seems That To Give Happiness Is A Far Nobler Goal That To Attain It: And That What We Exist For Is Much More A Matter Of Relations To Others Than A Matter Of Individual Progress: Much More A Matter Of Helping Others To Heaven Than Of Getting There Ourselves.

Everybody Has Won, And All Must Have Prizes.

Alice Adventures In Wonderland

This Piece Of Rudeness Was More Than Alice Could Bear: She Got Up In Great Disgust, And Walked Off; The Dormouse Fell Asleep Instantly, And Neither Of The Others Took The Least Notice Of Her Going, Though She Looked Back Once Or Twice, Half Hoping That They Would Call After Her: The Last Time She Saw Them, They Were Trying To Put The Dormouse Into The Teapot. At Any Rate I'll Never Go There Again!' Said Alice As She Picked Her Way Through The Wood. "it's The Stupidest Tea-party I Ever Was At In All My Life!

I Try To Believe In As Many As Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast. Count Them, Alice. One, There Are Drinks That Make You Shrink. Two, There Are Foods That Make You Grow. Three, Animals Can Talk. Four, Cats Can Disappear. Five, There Is A Place Called Underland. Six, I Can Slay The Jabberwocky.

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May We Not Then Sometimes Define Insanity As An Inability To Distinguish Which Is The Waking And Which The Sleeping Life? We Often Dream Without The Least Suspicion Of Unreality: 'sleep Hath Its Own World', And It Is Often As Lifelike As The Other.

Will You, Won't You, Will You, Won't You, Will You Join The Dance?

If You Do Not Know Where You Want To Go, It Doesn't Matter Which Path You Take.

If You’ll Believe In Me, I’ll Believe In You.

If You Don't Know Where You're Going Any Road Will Do

When I Use A Word,’ Humpty Dumpty Said In Rather A Scornful Tone, ‘it Means Just What I Choose It To Mean — Neither More Nor Less.’ ’the Question Is,’ Said Alice, ‘whether You Can Make Words Mean So Many Different Things.’ ’the Question Is,’ Said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which Is To Be Master — That’s All.

And As To Being In A Fright, Allow Me To Remark That Ghosts Have Just As Good A Right In Every Way, To Fear The Light, As Men To Fear The Dark.

One Of The Secrets Of Life Is That All That Is Really Worth The Doing Is What We Do For Others.

I'll Try If I Know All The Things I Used To Know. Let Me See: Four Times Five Is Twelve, And Four Times Six Is Thirteen, And Four Times Seven Is - Oh Dear! I Shall Never Get To Twenty At That Rate!

Do You Know, I Always Thought Unicorns Were Fabulous Monsters, Too? I Never Saw One Alive Before!" Well, Now That We Have Seen Each Other," Said The Unicorn, "if You'll Believe In Me, I'll Believe In You.

Would You Be A Poet Before You've Been To School? Ah, Well! I Hardly Thought You So Absolute A Fool.

Sometimes I've Believed As Many As Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast.

A Thick Stick In One's Hand Makes People Respectful.

There Is A Place. Like No Place On Earth. A Land Full Of Wonder, Mystery, And Danger! Some Say To Survive It: You Need To Be As Mad As A Hatter. Which Luckily I Am.

This Was Charming, No Doubt; But They Shortly Found Out That The Captain They Trusted So Well Had Only One Notion For Crossing The Ocean, And That Was To Tingle His Bell.

'have Some Wine,' The March Hare Said In An Encouraging Tone. Alice Looked Around The Table, But There Was Nothing On It But Tea. 'i Don't See Any Wine,' She Remarked. 'there Isn't Any,' Said The March Hare.

"in My Youth," Said His Father, "i Look To The Law, And Argued Each Case With My Wife; And The Muscular Strength, Which It Gave To My Jaw Has Lasted The Rest Of My Life."

...those Serpents! There's No Pleasing Them!

Domestic Violence

The Caterpillar And Alice Looked At Each Other For Some Time In Silence: At Last The Caterpillar Took The Hookah Out Of Its Mouth.

A Tale Begun In Other Days, When Summer Suns Were Glowing - A Simple Chime, That Served To Time The Rhythm Of Your Rowing - Whose Echoes Live In Memory Yet, Though Envious Years Would Say 'forget.

In Proceeding To The Dining-room, The Gentleman Gives One Arm To The Lady He Escorts--it Is Unusual To Offer Both.

Twenty Thousand Thieves Landed At Hastings. These Founders Of The House Of Lords Were Greedy And Ferocious Dragoons, Sons Of Greedy And Ferocious Pirates... Such, However, Is The Illusion Of Antiquity And Wealth, That Decent And Dignified Men Now Existing, Boast Their Descent From These Filthy Thieves, Who Showed A Far Juster Conviction Of Their Own Merits, By Assuming For Their Types The Swine, Goat, Jackal, Leopard, Wolf, And Snake, Which They Severally Resembled.

Reeling And Writhing Of Course, To Begin With,' The Mock Turtle Replied, 'and The Different Branches Of Arithmetic-ambition, Distraction, Uglification, And Derision.

That's The Reason They're Called Lessons, Because They Lesson From Day To Day.

If It Had Grown Up, It Would Have Made A Dreadfully Ugly Child; But It Makes Rather A Handsome Pig, I Think.

But I Was Thinking Of A Way To Feed Oneself On Batter, And So Go On From Day To Day Getting A Little Fatter.

Who In The World Am I? Ah, That's The Great Puzzle.

But, I Nearly Forgot, You Must Close Your Eyes Otherwise You Won't See Anything.

Why Is It That People With The Most Narrow Of Minds Seem To Have The Widest Of Mouths?

If I Had A World Of My Own, Everything Would Be Nonsense.

Contrariwise, If It Was So, It Might Be; And If It Were So, It Would Be; But As It Isn't, It Ain't. That's Logic.

Mathematical Logic

If You Drink Much From A Bottle Marked 'poison' It Is Certain To Disagree With You Sooner Or Later.

Words Mean More Than We Mean To Express When We Use Them: So A Whole Book Ought To Mean A Great Deal More Than The Writer Meant.

You May Charge Me With Murder--or Want Of Sense-- (we Are All Of Us Weak At Times): But The Slightest Approach To A False Pretence Was Never Among My Crimes!

Everything Is Funny, If You Can Laugh At It.

She Felt A Little Nervous About This; 'for It Might End, You Know,' Said Alice To Herself, 'in My Going Out Altogether, Like A Candle. I Wonder What I Should Be Like Then?' And She Tried To Fancy What The Flame Of A Candle Looks Like After The Candle Is Blown Out, For She Could Not Remember Ever Having Seen Such A Thing.

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