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You Have To Be Careful Who You Let Define Your Good.
-Lois McMaster Bujold
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You Have To Be

Lois McMaster Bujold
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You Have To Be Careful Who You Let Define Your Good.

Understanding the Quote: "you have to be careful who you let define your good...."

This quote by Lois McMaster Bujold reflects deeply on the theme of be careful. It connects to the universal human journey of purpose, motivation, and reflection. Often categorized under Be Careful, Careful, the quote offers insight, emotional clarity, and intellectual inspiration to readers worldwide.

Whether you’re a student exploring new ideas, a leader trying to motivate your team, or someone seeking direction in life — this quote provides value. It resonates because it’s more than words — it’s a bridge between experience and wisdom. It shows how Lois McMaster Bujold interprets life's core challenges and triumphs.

Lessons From the Quote

This quote teaches resilience and focus. It reminds readers that no matter where they stand in life, reflection and self-awareness lead to growth. Each word has meaning, and when studied, it becomes clear how impactful thoughtful language can be.

About Lois McMaster Bujold

Lois McMaster Bujold is celebrated for insightful thoughts on be careful and careful. Their legacy lives on through writings that guide, comfort, and inspire. Discover more on their profile page.

Actionable Takeaways

  • Reflect on how this quote applies to your current life path.
  • Share the message with someone who needs inspiration.
  • Write your thoughts on this quote in a journal or blog post.
  • Use it as a daily affirmation or reminder.

Closing Thoughts

Quotes like this endure because they capture universal truths. They comfort us in solitude and empower us in groups. Carry this quote forward — live by its wisdom, share its message, and keep its essence alive.

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Only The Saints Would Joke So About The Gods, Because It Was Either Joke Or Scream, And They Alone Knew It Was All The Same To The Gods.
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The Will To Be Stupid Is A Very Powerful Force, But There Are Always Alternatives.
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Whether You Function As Welders Or Inspectors, The Laws Of Physics Are Implacable Lie-detectors. You May Fool Men. You Will Never Fool The Metal.
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The Rule For Finding Plots For Character-centered Novels, Which Is To Ask: 'so What's The Worst Possible Thing I Can Do To *this* Guy?' And Then Do It.
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An Honor Is Not Diminished For Being Shared.
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Wikipedia Is So Dangerous. You Go Online To Look Up The Definition Of Eclampsia, And Three Hours Later You Find Yourself Reading This Earnest Explanation Of Tentacle Porn In [japanese] Anime.
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[koudelka] Looked Back, "you?! I Know You! You Trust Beyond Reason!" [cordelia] Met His Eyes Steadily, "yes, It's How I Get Results Beyond Hope, As You May Recall.
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They Stared At Her Curiously, And She Caught Snatches Of Conversation In Two Or Three Languages. It Wasn't Hard To Guess Their Content, And She Smiled A Bit Primly. Youth, It Appeared, Was Full Of Illusions As To How Much Sexual Energy Two People Might Have To Spare While Hiking Forty Or So Kilometers A Day, Concussed, Stunned, Diseased, On Poor Food And Little Sleep, Alternating Caring For A Wounded Man With Avoiding Becoming Dinner For Every Carnivore Within Range - And With A Coup To Plan For The End.
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Miles Exhaled Carefully, Faint With Rage And Reminded Grief. He Does Not Know, He Told Himself. He Cannot Know... "ivan, One Of These Days Somebody Is Going To Pull Out A Weapon And Plug You, And You're Going To Die In Bewilderment, Crying, "what Did I Say? What Did I Say?" "what Did I Say?" Asked Ivan Indignantly.
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If Power Was An Illusion, Wasn't Weakness Necessarily One Also?
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You Can Say A Lot In A Little Time, If You Stick To Words Of One Syllable.
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Escapist Literature Gets A Bad Rap. But I Think Escape Is Important For A Lot Of People In A Lot Of Places.
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I'm Very Interested In The Impact Of Biotechnology On The Way People Live.
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Never Do Yourself, What You Can Con Professionals Into Doing For You.
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I Am Who I Choose To Be. I Have Always Been What I Chose, Though Not Always What I Pleased.
We Should Have Taken Our Chances Back Then, When We Were Young And Beautiful And Didn't Even Know It.
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If You're Trying To Take A Roomful Of People By Surprise, It's A Lot Easier To Hit Your Targets If You Don't Yell Going Through The Door.
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I've Always Thought Tests Are A Gift. And Great Tests Are A Great Gift. To Fail The Test Is A Misfortune. But To Refuse The Test Is To Refuse The Gift, And Something Worse, More Irrevocable, Than Misfortune.
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A True Vor, Miles Told Himself Severely, Does Not Bury His Face In His Liegewoman's Breasts And Cry--even If He Is At A Convenient Height For It.
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Growing Up, I Have Discovered Over Time, Is Rather Like Housework: Never Finished.
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Never Underestimate The Human Capacity For Wishful Thinking And Willful Blindness,' Said Miles. Such As A Whole Society Of People Who Became So Wrapped Up In Avoiding Death, They Forgot To Be Alive?
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I'm The One That's Got To Die When It's Time For Me To Die, So Let Me Live My Life The Way I Want To.” - Jimi Hendrix, “the Dead Cannot Cry Out For Justice. It Is A Duty Of The Living To Do So For Them.
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One Learns Better Than To Hand One's Choices To Fear. With Age, With Every Wound And Scar, One Learns.
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Cecil Flashed A Grin. "quite. Plus Your Rather Irritating Habit Of Treating Your Superior Officers As Your, Ah..." Cecil Paused, Apparently Groping Again For Just The Right Word. "equals?" Miles Hazarded. "cattle," Cecil Corrected Judiciously.
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I Am Increasingly Convinced That Technological Culture Is The Entire Root Of Women's Liberation.
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If You Make It Plain You Like People, It's Hard For Them To Resist Liking You Back.
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Seems Like Half My Anxiety Dreams Are About Airports.
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A Price Is Something You Get. A Cost Is Something You Lose.
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It's An Ancient And Honorable Term For The Final Step In Any Engineering Project. Turn It On, See If It Smokes.
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One Foot In Front Of The Other, Wasn't That The Grownup Way Of Solving Problems? Surely He Ought To Be A Grownup At His Age.
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The Imperial Service Could Win A War Without Coffee, But Would Prefer Not To Have To.
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This Is The Most Important Thing I Will Ever Say To You. The Human Mind Is The Ultimate Testing Device. You Can Take All The Notes You Want On The Technical Data, Anything You Forget You Can Look Up Again, But This Must Be Engraved On Your Hearts In Letters Of Fire. There Is Nothing, Nothing, Nothing, More Important To Me In The Men And Women I Train Than Their Absolute Personal Integrity. Whether You Function As Welders Or Inspectors, The Laws Of Physics Are Implacable Lie Detectors. You May Fool Men. You Will Never Fool Metal. That’s All.
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A Stunning First Impression Was Not The Same Thing As Love At First Sight. But Surely It Was An Invitation To Consider The Matter.
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All The Worry People Expend Over Not Existing After They Die, Yet Nary A One Ever Seems To Spare A Moment To Worry About Not Having Existed Before They Were Conceived. Or At All. After All, One Sperm Over And We Would Have Been Our Sisters, And We'd Never Have Been Missed.
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I'm Sorry. I Can Love You. I Can Grieve For You, Or With You. I Can Share Your Pain. But I Cannot Judge You.
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I Spent My 20s Working In Patient Care At A Large University Hospital, An Experience That Has Informed All My Work And Has Given Me A Lot Of Human Observation To Draw On.
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On The Sixth Day God Saw He Couldn't Do It All, So He Created Engineers
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Not That I Haven't Leaped Up Into The Blinding Light Of Competence Now And Then. It's Sustaining The Altitude That Defeats Me.
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This Is Important! But You Have To Stay Absolutely Cool. I May Be Completely Off-base, And Panicking Prematurely." "i Don't Think So. I Think You're Panicking Post-maturely. In Fact, If You Were Panicking Any Later It Would Be Practically Posthumously. I've Been Panicking For Days.
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The Gods Give No Gifts Without Hooks Embedded.
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Change Is Possible.' 'change Is Inevitable.
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When I Go Down Into The Ground At Last, As God Is My Judge, I Pray My Best-beloved May Have Better To Say Of Me Than, "he Didn't Hit Me."
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Well, What Is A Blessing But A Curse From Another Point Of View?
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Punishment
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Party
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Teaching
Learning
Reality
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I'd Storm Heaven For You, If I Knew Where It Was.
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Men
Iron
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Voice
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Adulthood Isn't An Award They'll Give You For Being A Good Child. You Can Waste Years, Trying To Get Someone To Give That Respect To You, As Though It Were A Sort Of Promotion Or Raise In Pay. If Only You Do Enough, If Only You Are Good Enough. No. You Have To Just Take It. Give It To Yourself, I Suppose. Say, I'm Sorry You Feel Like That And Walk Away. But That's Hard
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Maturity
Don't Wish To Be Normal. Wish To Be Yourself. To The Hilt. Find Out What You're Best At, And Develop It, And Hopscotch Your Weaknesses. Wish To Be Great At Whatever You Are.
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Life
Being Yourself
When The Time Comes To Leap In Faith Whether You Have Your Eyes Open Or Closed Or Scream All The Way Down Or Not Makes No Practical Difference.
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Differences
Way
You Couldn't Be That Good And Not Know It, Somewhere In Your Secret Heart, However Much You'd Been Abused Into Affecting Public Humility.
Heart
Humility
Secret
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The World Demands I Make Good Choices On No Information, And Then Blames My Maidenhood For My Mistakes, As If My Maidenhood Were Responsible For My Ignorance. Ignorance Is Not Stupidity, But It Might As Well Be. And I Do Not Like Feeling Stupid.
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Ignorance
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Happiness
Pain
Fall
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Do It Yourself
Universe
Oh, Was That Liquor Of Yours A Stimulant?" Asked Elena. "i Wondered Why He Didn't Fall Asleep." "couldn't You Tell?" Chuckled Mayhew. "not Really." Miles Twisted His Head To Take In Elena's Upside-down Worried Face, And Smile In Weak Reassurance. Sparkly Black And Purple Whirlpools Clouded His Vision. Mayhew's Laughter Faded. "my God," He Said Hollowly, "you Mean He's Like That All The Time?
Laughter
Fall
Mean
I Think 99 Percent Of Women's Lib Comes From Technology Making Different Kinds Of Lives Possible, And Then The Social Adjustment Follows The Technology - It Doesn't Precede It.
Technology
Thinking
Different
Adversity Does Teach Who Your Real Friends Are.
Friendship
Real
Adversity
Miles Is... Miles; Close To A Force Of Nature, Climbing Up Out Of His Own Pages And Escaping Subordination To Any Opinion Of Mine.
Escaping
Climbing Up
Pages
Never Argue With A Pedant Over Nomenclature. It Wastes Your Time And Annoys The Pedant.
Nomenclature
Waste
Pedants
Aim High. You May Still Miss The Target, But At Least You Won't Shoot Your Foot Off.
Feet
Missing
Target
When You Can’t Do Something Truly Useful, You Tend To Vent The Pent Up Energy In Something Useless But Available, Like Snappy Dressing.
Civilization
Energy
Useless
I Have A Catch-phrase To Describe My Plot-generation Technique -- 'what's The Worst Possible Thing I Can Do To These People?'
People
Technique
Plot
Like Integrity, Love Of Life Was Not A Subject To Be Studied, It Was A Contagion To Be Caught. And You Had To Catch It From Someone Who Had It.
Integrity
Love Life
Caught
Most People Go Through Their Whole Lives Without Killing Anybody. False Argument.
People
Argument
Killing
War Is Not Its Own End, Except In Some Catastrophic Slide Into Absolute Damnation. It's Peace That's Wanted. Some Better Peace Than The One You Started With.
Peace
War
Damnation
Miles Clutched Quinn's Elbow. "don't Panic." "i'm Not Panicking," Quinn Observed, "i'm Watching You Panic. It's More Entertaining .
Elbows
Panic
Miles
I've Always Tried To Write The Kind Of Book I Most Loved To Read: Character-centered Adventure.
Book
Writing
Adventure
Yes," Vorkosigan Agreed, "i Could Take Over The Universe With This Army If I Could Ever Get All Their Weapons Pointed In The Same Direction.
Army
Weapons
If I Could
Utterly Bleak And Black Is Not The Sum Of Realism. All The Other Colors Are Real, Too.
Real
Color
Black
Some Prices Are Just Too High, No Matter How Much You May Want The Prize. The One Thing You Can't Trade For Your Heart's Desire Is Your Heart.
Life
Heart
Desire
If The Truth Doesn't Save Us, What Does That Say About Us?
Honesty
Doe
Ifs
Hi, I'm A Hero, But I Can't Tell You Why. It's Classified.
Hero
I Can
Your Father Calls You To His Court. You Need Not Pack. You Go Garbed In Glorious Raiment. He Waits Eagerly By His Palace Doors To Welcome You, And Has Prepared A Place At The High Table, By His Side, In The Company Of The Great-souled, Honored, And Best-beloved.
Love
Father
Doors
I've Described My Usual Writing Process As Scrambling From Peak To Peak On Inspiration Through Foggy Valleys Of Despised Logic. Inspiration Is Better When You Can Get It.
Inspiration
Writing
Usual
I Don't Confuse Greatness With Perfection. To Be Great Anyhow Is The Higher Achievement.
Greatness
Perfection
Achievement
Think Of The Glory. Think Of Your Reputation. Think How Great It'll Look On Your Next Resume." On My Cenotaph, You Mean. Nobody Will Be Able To Collect Enough Of My Scattered Atoms To Bury. You Going To Cover My Funeral Expenses, Son?" Splendidly. Banners, Dancing Girls, And Enough Beer To Float Your Coffin To Valhalla." - Miles Coaxing Ky Tung To Agree To An Almost Suicidal Mission
Girl
Suicidal
Mean
I Do Think, Half Of What We Call Madness Is Just Some Poor Slob Dealing With Pain By A Strategy That Annoys The People Around Him.
Pain
Thinking
People
If You Can't Be Seven Feet Tall, Be Seven Feet Smart.
Smart
Feet
Seven
Honesty Is The Only Way With Anyone, When You'll Be So Close As To Be Living Inside Each Other's Skins.
Love
Honesty
Real
Events May Be Horrible Or Inescapable. Men Have Always A Choice - If Not Whether, Then How, They May Endure.
Men
Choices
Events
Endure Pain, Find Joy, And Make Your Own Meaning, Because The Universe Certainly Isn't Going To Supply It.
Pain
Joy
Endure
People Give Themselves To You, In Their Talking, And In Other Ways, If You Are Quiet And Patient And Let Them, And Not In Such A Damned Rush To Give Yourself To Them You Go Bat-blind And Deaf.
Talking
People
Giving
In Mysticism, Knowledge Cannot Be Separated From A Certain Way Of Life Which Becomes Its Living Manifestation. To Acquire Mystical Knowledge Means To Undergo A Transformation; One Could Even Say That The Knowledge Is The Transformation. Scientific Knowledge, On The Other Hand, Can Often Stay Abstract And Theoretical. Thus Most Of Today’s Physicists Do Not Seem To Realize The Philosophical, Cultural And Spiritual Implications Of Their Theories.
Spiritual
Philosophical
Mean
The Most Important Thing About Quests, He Decided, Was Not In Finding What You Went Looking For, But In Finding What You Never Could Have Imagined Before You Ventured Forth.
Important
Quests
Findings
I Am An Atheist, Myself. A Simple Faith, But A Great Comfort To Me, In These Last Days.
Atheist
Simple
Atheism
The Real Unforgivable Acts Are Committed By Calm Men In Beautiful Green Silk Rooms, Who Deal Death Wholesale, By The Shipload, Without Lust, Without Anger, Or Desire, Or Any Redeeming Emotion To Excuse Them But Cold Fear Of Some Pretended Future. But The Crimes They Hope To Prevent In That Future Are Imaginary. The Ones They Commit In The Present - They Are Real.
Beautiful
Real
Men
Have You Ever Heard The Phrase, Living Well Is The Best Revenge?" "where I Come From, Someone's Head In A Bag Is Generally Considered The Best Revenge
Revenge
Bags
Phrases
Colonel Otto, Do You Have A, Perhaps, Fuller And More Detailed Account Than Your Preliminary One Of Why My Imperial Security Building Is Now Largely An Underground Installation? From A Technical Perspective.
Perspective
Building
Accounts
Some People Grow Into Their Dreams, Instead Of Out Of Them.
Dream
People
Grows
There Is No More Hollow Feeling Than To Stand With Your Honor Shattered At Your Feet While Soaring Public Reputation Wraps You In Rewards. That's Soul-destroying. The Other Way Around Is Merely Very, Very Irritating.
Feet
Soul
Feelings
His Outflung Hands Traced Over The Threads Of His Rug, Passed Loop By Loop Through Some Patient Woman's Hands. Or Maybe She Hadn't Been Patient. Maybe She'd Been Tired, Or Irritated, Or Distracted, Or Hungry, Or Angry. Maybe She Had Been Dying. But Her Hands Had Kept Moving, All The Same.
Moving
Tired
Hands
Real Destiny Takes Everything-the Last Drop Of Blood, And Strip Out Your Veins To Be Sure-and Gives It Back Doubled. Quadrupled. A Thousand-fold! But You Can't Give Halves. You Have To Give It All. I Know. I Swear. I've Come Back From The Dead To Speak The Truth To You. Real Destiny Gives You A Mountain Of Life, And Puts You On Top Of It.
Real
Destiny
Blood
I Don’t Duel, Boy. I Kill As A Soldier Kills, Which Is As A Butcher Kills, As Quickly, Efficiently, And With As Least Risk To Myself As I Can Arrange.
Boys
Soldier
Risk
As The Week Wore On, Ivan Contemplated The Merits Of Inertia As A Problem-solving Technique With Growing Favor
Technique
Growing
Favors
Mia Maz Glanced Aside In Concern At His Muffled Snort. "are You All Right?" "yes. Sorry," He Whispered. "i'm Just Having An Attack Of Limericks." Her Eyes Widened, And She Bit Her Lip; Only Her Deepening Dimple Betrayed Her. "shhh," She Said, With Feeling.
Sorry
Eye
Feelings
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