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I'm Calm," Rachel Insisted. "every Time I'm Around You, Some Monsters Attack Us. What's To Be Nervous About?" "look," I Said. "i'm Sorry About The Band Room. I Hope They Didn't Kick You Our Or Anything." "nah. They Asked Me A Lot Of Questions About You. I Played Dumb." "was It Hard?" Annabeth Asked.

-Rick Riordan

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I'm Calm," Rachel Insisted.

Rick Riordan

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I'm Calm," Rachel Insisted. "every Time I'm Around You, Some Monsters Attack Us. What's To Be Nervous About?" "look," I Said. "i'm Sorry About The Band Room. I Hope They Didn't Kick You Our Or Anything." "nah. They Asked Me A Lot Of Questions About You. I Played Dumb." "was It Hard?" Annabeth Asked.

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Percy Jackson And The Olympians

One The Next Corner Stood A Cinder Block Restaurant With A Hand-painted Sign That Read Chicken & Waffles. There Was A Queue Of Twenty People Outside. “you Americans Have The Strangest Taste. What Planet Is This?

I Racked My Brain Trying To Remember The Names Of All Of Nut’s Five Children. Bit Difficult Without My Brother, The Human Wikipedia, Around To Keep Track Of Such Trivia For Me.

It's Just Annabeth Mom Jeez!

The Metal Blade Hit Her Shoulder And Passed Cleanthrough Her Body As If She Were Made Of Water. Hisss!

Somewhere Behind Me, Zia Yelled, "hippo!" Which I Thought Was A Little Late. ~carter Kane

Traitor!" Hera Shouted. "you Meddlesome, D-list Goddess! You Aren't Worthy To Pour My Wine, Much Less Rule The World.

A Legacy That Powerful Does Not Disappear. Next To The Egyptians, The Greeks And Romans Were Babies. Our Modern Nations Like Great Britain And America? Blinks Of An Eye...the Very Oldest Root Of Civilization, At Least Of Western Civilization, Is Egypt. Look At The Pyramid On The Dollar Bill. Look At The Washington Monument—the World’s Largest Egyptian Obelisk. Egypt Is Still.......very Much Alive.

It Was Like Percy Had Faced Death Before, Like He Knew About Grief. What Mattered Was Listening. You Didn’t Need To Say You Were Sorry. The Only Thing That Helped Was Moving On—moving Forward.

I Didn’t Know Baboons Could Drive Recreational Vehicles, But Khufu Did Okay. When I Woke Up Around Dawn, He Was Navigating Through The Early Morning Rush Hour In Houston, Baring His Fangs And Barking A Lot, And None Of The Other Drivers Seemed To Notice Anything Out Of The Ordinary.

Oh, No Way," Leo Said. "we've Been Sitting In A Cave And You Get The Luxury Tent? Somebody Give Me Hypothermia. I Want Hot Chocolate And A Parka!

Do You Always Try To Kill People When They Blow Their Nose?

Knowledge Isn't Always Good For You.

But Grover’s Voice Was Already Growing Fainter. ‘sweet Dreams. Don’t Let Me Die!

I Do Not Know How Much They See Through The Mist. I Doubt It Would Matter To Them If They Knew The Truth. Sometimes Mortals Can Be More Horrible Than Monsters.

Oh, Did You Expect Me To Play Fair?" Cupid Laughed. "i Am The God Of Love. I Am Never Fair.

It Isn’t Easy Being A Brilliant Inventor, Always Alone. Always Misunderstood. Easy To Turn Bitter, Make Horrible Mistakes. People Are More Difficult To Work With Than Machines. And When You Break A Person, He Can’t Be Fixed. -hephaestus

Suspecting And Knowing Are Not The Same.

Never Seen Jason Fly Before," Percy Grumbled. "he Looks Like A Blond Superman

That Is Exactly How People Beat Chinese Handcuffs. They Turn Into Iguanas.

Oh, My Dear! I’m Afraid You’ve Mistaken Me For Someone Else! My Name Is Rhea Silvia. I Was The Mother To Romulus And Remus, Thousands Of Years Ago. But You’re So Kind To Think I Look As Young As The 1950s.

See, Bad Things Happen To Me On Field Trips. Like At My Fifth-grade School, When We Went To The Saratoga Battlefield, I Had This Accident With A Revolutionary War Cannon. I Wasn't Aiming For The School Bus, But Of Course I Got Expelled Anyway. - Percy Jackson

Back When I Taught Middle School And Wrote Adult Mysteries, My Students Often Asked Me Why I Wasn't Writing For Kids. I Never Had A Good Answer For Them. It Took Me A Long Time To Realize They Were Right.

Stop!" Narcissus Got To His Feet. "this Is Not Right! This Person Is Obviously Not Awesome, So He Must Be..." He Struggled For The Right Words. It Had Probably Been A Long Time Since He'd Talked About Anything Other Than Himself. "he Must Be Tricking Us." Apparently Narcissus Wasn't Completely Stupid.

We'de Have To Get In And Get Out The Hard Way; And If We Made A Mistake, There Was No Telling What Sort Of Curse We'de Unleash: Monster Guardians, Plagues, Fires, Exploding Donkeys(don't Laugh; They're Bad News).

I Found Myself Staring At Her, Which Was Stupid Since I'd Seen Her A Billion Times. Still, She Seemed So Much More Mature. It Was Kind Of Intimidating. I Mean, Sure, She'd Always Been Cute, But She Was Starting To Be Seriously Beautiful.

A Little Slower, Sweetheart. Cape Cod Is Freezing Over.

I May Be Biased, But I Think Jackals Are Cute And Cuddly, Even If They Were Known For Digging Up Graves In Ancient Egypt.

How Old Is She Now?" He Asked. "hard To Say. She Was A Tree For A While. Now She's Immortal.

Meat!" He Said Scornfully. "i'm A Vegetarian." You Eat Cheese Enchiladas And Aluminum Cans," I Reminded Him. Those Are Vegetables.

Leo: "so...giants Who Can Throw Mountains. Friendly Wolves That Will Eat Us If We Show Weakness. Evil Espresso Drinks. Gotcha. Maybe This Isn't The Best Time To Bring Up My Psycho Babysitter." Piper: "is That Another Joke?

I Do Like To Wrap Things Up And Leave Some Things To The Readers' Imagination.

What About A Compromise? I’ll Kill Them First, And If It Turns Out They Were Friendly, I’ll Apologize.

The Telkine Growled And Muttered As He Tapped On His Keyboard. Maybe He Was Messaging His Friends On Uglyface.com

Aphrodite Strikes Again, Huh? You're Gonna Be The Best-dressed Warrior In Town, Beauty Queen.

I Pulled Out Riptide.

But How Did You Know Where We Were?" Annabeth Asked. Advanced Planning, My Dear. I Figured You Would Wash Up Near Miami If You Made It Out Of The Sea Of Monsters Alive. Almost Everything Strange Washes Up Near Miami.

"let Us Find The Dam Snack Bar," Zoe Said. "we Should Eat While We Can." Grover Cracked A Smile. "the Dam Snack Bar?" Zoe Blinked. "yes. What Is Funny?" "nothing," Grover Said, Trying To Keep A Straight Face. "i Could Use Some Dam French Fries." Even Thalia Smiled At That. "and I Need To Use The Dam Restroom."... I Started Cracking Up, And Thalia And Grover Joined In, While Zoe Just Looked At Us "i Do Not Understand." "i Want To Use The Dam Water Fountain," Grover Said. "and..." Thalia Tried To Catch Her Breath. "i Want To Buy A Dam T-shirt."

What Are You?” She Demanded. “my Dad? Osiris? Are You Even Alive?” Dad Looked At Anubis. “what Did I Tell You About Her? Fiercer Than Ammit, I Said.” “you Didn’t Need To Tell Me That.” Anubis’s Face Was Grave. “i’ve Learned To Fear That Sharp Tongue.” Sadie Looked Outraged. “excuse Me?

Want A Cookie,' Ra Said. 'what Kind?' 'weasel Cookie.' I'm Here To Tell You, That Comment About Weasel Cookies Probably Saved The Known Universe.

All Right, Cupcakes. You Are About To See The Grand Canyon. Try Not To Break It. The Skywalk Can Hold The Weight Of Seventy Jumbo Jets, To You Featherweights Should Be Safe Out There. If Possible, Try To Avoid Pushing Each Other Over The Edge, As That Would Cause Me Extra Paperwork.

Pushing Each Other

Gods Forbid If She Ever Broke Up With Him. She'd Never Be Able To Visit The Sea Again Without Remembering Her Broken Heart. Annabeth About Percy

Great,” Percy Said. “i Always Wanted To Be Glue.

She Had To Face The Fact That She Couldn't Protect Everyone She Loved. She Couldn't Solve Every Problem.

Caesar Broke The Law When He Crossed The Rubicon," Frank Said. "great Leaders Have To Think Out Side The Box Sometimes.

Is Tyson Okay?" I Asked. The Question Seemed To Take My Dad By Surprise. He's Fine. Doing Much Better Than I Expected. Though "peanut Butter" Is A Strange Battle Cry. "you Let Him Fight?" Stop Changing The Subject! You Realize What You Are Asking Me To Do? My Palace Will Be Destroyed. "and Olympus Might Be Saved." Do You Have Any Idea How Long I've Worked On Remodeling This Palace? The Game Room Alone Took Six Hundred Years. "dad—" Very Well! It Shall Be As You Say. But My Son, Pray This Works. "i Am Praying. I'm Talking To You, Right?" Oh . . . Yes. Good Point.

What’s The Point Of Being A Magician If You Can’t Wave Your Wand And Make The People You Care About Feel Better?

I Know You'll Do What's Best For Annabeth." "how Can You Be Sure?" "because She'd Do The Same For You.

God Alert!" Blackjack Yelled. "it's The Wine Dude! Mr. D Sighed In Exasperation. "the Next Person, Or Horse, Who Calls Me The 'wine Dude' Will End Up In A Bottle Of Merlot!

The Wind Blowing Through My Ripped Clothes Was So Cold That I Felt Like A Percysicle.

I Caught Bast’s Arm When She Was A Few Steps From The Bank. “stay Away From The Water.” She Frowned. “carter, I’m A Cat. I’m Not Going For A Swim. But If You Want To Summon A River Goddess, You Really Need To Do It At The Riverbank.

We Are Servants Of Ma’at—order And Justice. We Don’t Kill Our Enemies For Things They Might Do In The Future.

Oh My God, I Am So Awesome!" Leo Bellowed. "so Awesome!" Echo Yelled Back. "he Is Funny," A Nymph Ventured. "and Cute, In A Scrawny Way," Another Said. "scrawny?" Leo Asked. "baby I Invented Scrawny. Scrawny Is The New Sizzling Hot.

We’re Burning,” Sadie Pointed Out Helpfully. “noticed!” I Yelled Back.

Wait Just A Minute," Ares Growled. He Pointed At Thalia And Me. "these Two Are Dangerous. It'd Be Much Safer, While We've Got Them Here—" "ares," Poseidon Interrupted, "they Are Worthy Heroes. We Will Not Blast My Son To Bits." "nor My Daughter," Zeus Grumbled. "she Has Done Well.

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I Turned To Annabeth And Shook My Head In Exasperation. “always Hercules. What Is It With Hercules?” Annabeth Shrugged. “he Had A Great Publicist.

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Leo: I'm Almost Out Of Gas! Woah, That Came Out Wrong. I Meant The Burning Kind!

In Person, If Possible, Anubis Was Even More Drop-dead Gorgeous. [oh . . . Ha, Ha. I Didn't Catch The Pun, But Thank You, Carter. God Of The Dead, Drop-dead Gorgeous. Yes, Hilarious. Now, May I Continue?]

Drop Dead Gorgeous

Imagine Jumping Into A Pit Of Boiling Acid. Now Multiply That Pain Times Fifty." -percy

Everybody Loves To Show Up At The Party Once All The Hard Work Is Done.

You Think It's Okay That We're Eating Rudolph?" "dude," Percy Said, "i Could Eat Prancer And Blitzen, Too. I'm Hungry.

I Suppose With So Many Things Suddenly Getting Better, The Things That Were Still Missing Hurt Even Worse.

Being A Hero Doesn’t Mean You’re Invincible. It Just Means That You’re Brave Enough To Stand Up And Do What’s Needed.

Nico, I've Seen A Lot Of Brave Things. But What You Just Did? That Was Maybe The Bravest.

If You Don't Like It You Can Kiss My Quiver

Writing Is Like A Sport - You Only Get Better If You Practice

Percy: Don't I Get A Kiss For Luck? It's Kind Of A Tradition, Right? Annabeth: Come Back Alive, Seaweed Brain. Then We'll See.

Thanks For Not Freaking Out," I Said. "oh, I'm Freaking Out," Paul Promised, His Eyes Wide. "i Just Think It's Awesome!

Zia," I Said, "that's A Goddess. She Defeated Bast. What Chance Do You Have?" Zia Held Up Her Staff And The Carved Lion's Head Burst Into Flames - A Small Red Fireball So Bright, It Lit The Entire Room. "i Am A Scribe In The House Of Life, Sadie Kane. I Am Trained To Fight Gods.

All I Could Think Of Was That The Teachers Must've Found The Illegal Stash Of Candy I'd Been Selling Out Of My Dorms Room. Or Maybe They'd Realized I Got My Essay On Tom Sawyer From The Internet Without Ever Reading The Book And Now They Were Going To Take Away My Grade. Or Worse, They Were Going To Make Me Read The Book.

Dreams Like Podcast. Downloading Truth In My Ears. They Tell Me Cool Stuff.

I Survive All Those Battles," She Growled, "and I Get Defeated By A Stupid Chunk Of Rock!

I Think I Write For Reluctant Readers. Of Course I Want Everyone To Enjoy My Books, But If The Kids In The Back Row Who Normally Don't Pick Up A Book Are Engaged With What I'm Writing, Along With The Kids Who Are Big Readers Anyway, Then I Really Feel Like I've Done My Job.

Sometimes Wisdom Came From Strange Places, Even From Giant Teenaged Goldfish.

Oh, I Wouldn't Say Love Always Makes You Happy. Sometimes It Makes You Incredibly Sad.

Is That Me?,' Leo Said. 'like Me--having This Dream--looking At Me Having A Dream?

Piper!” Frank Yelled. “counter Those Empousai! We Need Some Chaos.” “thought You’d Never Ask.” She Started Catcalling At The Female Demons: “your Makeup Is Smeared! Your Friend Called You Ugly! That One Is Making A Face Behind Your Back!

Percy Looked At Coach Hedge And Frank. “a Trap?” “probably,” Frank Said. “she’s Not Mortal,” Hedge Said, Sniffing The Air. “probably Some Kind Of Goat-eating, Demigod-destroying Fiend From Tartarus.” “no Doubt,” Percy Agreed. “awesome.” Hedge Grinned. “let’s Go.

I Will Not Have A Sea Creature Destroyed, If I Can Help It. And I Can Help It.

That's Because We Keep Weapons Int The Attic, Silly Boy. Do You Think This Is The First Time Monsters Have Attacked Our Family?" "weapons," Frank Grumbled. "right. I've Never Handled Weapons Before." Grandmother's Nostrils Flared. "was That Sarcasm, Fai Zhang?" "yes, Grandmother." "good. There May Be Hope For You Yet.

"something Was Wrong With Luke," Annabeth Muttered, Poking At The Fire With Her Knife. "did You Notice The Way He Was Acting?" "he Looked Pretty Pleased To Me," I Said. "like He'd Spent A Nice Day Torturing Heroes." "that's Not True! There Was Something Wrong With Him. He Looked... Nervous. He Told His Monsters To Spare Me. He Wanted To Tell Me Something." "probably, 'hi, Annabeth! Sit Here With Me And Watch While I Tear Your Friends Apart. It'll Be Fun!"

What If It Lines Up Like It Did In The Trojan War ... Athena Versus Poseidon?" "i Don't Know. But I Just Know That I'll Be Fighting Next To You." "why?" "because You're My Friend, Seaweed Brain. Any More Stupid Questions?

Leo Fell In Love With Every Girl He Saw-as Long As She Was Completely Out Of His League.

Nothing Like Adhd And A Good Fight To The Death To Make Time Fly

Eat Bitter, Taste Sweet," Frank Said. "i Hate That Proverb." "but It's True. What Do They Call It These Days---no Pain, No Gain? Same Concept. You Do The Easy Thing, The Appealing Thing, The Peaceful Thing, Mostly It Turns Out Sour In The End. But If You Take The Hard Path---ah, That's How You Reap The Sweet Rewards. Duty. Sacrifice. They Mean Something.

What? You Run? Coward! Stand Still And Die!” Percy Had No Intention Of Doing That.

Our Camels Plodded Along. Katrina Tried To Kiss, Or Possibly Spit On Hindenburg, And Hindenburg Farted In Response. I Found This A Depressing Commentary On Boy-girl Relationships.

I Have Lightning And Wind Powers," Jason Reminded Him. "piper Can Turn Beautiful And Charm People Into Giving Her Bmws. You're No More A Freak Than We Are. And, Hey, Maybe You Can Fly, Too. Like Jump Off A Building And Yell 'flame On!'" Leo Snorted. "if I Did That, You Would See A Flaming Kid Falling To His Death, And I Would Be Yelling Something A Little Stronger Than 'flame On!

Ceres Wanted A United Front In The Plant War." "the Plant War," Percy Said. "you're Going To Arm All The Little Grapes With Tiny Assault Rifles?

Two U.s. Marine Skeletons Guarded The Doors. They Grinned Down At Us, Rocket-propelled Grenade Launchers Held Across Their Chests. "you Know," Grover Mumbled, "i Bet Hades Doesn't Have Trouble With Door-to-door Salesman.

Is It Fair Your Life Burns So Short And Bright? Death Had Asked. "no Such Thing As Fair," Frank Told Himself. "if I'm Going To Burn, It Might As Well Be Bright.

Life Is Only Precious Because It Ends, Kid. Take It From A God. You Mortals Don't Know How Lucky You Are

Frank Stared At Him. "unfair? You Can Breathe Underwater And Blow Up Glaciers And Summon Freaking Hurricanes-and It's Unfair That I Can Be An Elephant?" Percy Considered. "okay. I Guess You Got A Point. But The Next Time I Say You're Totally Beast-" "just Shut Up," Frank Said. "please." Percy Cracked A Smile.

Behold!" Percy Shouted. "the God's Chosen Beverage. Tremble Before The Horror Of Diet Coke!

Coach Hedge Grunted Like He Was Pleased To Have An Excuse. He Unclipped The Megaphone From His Belt And Continued Giving Directions, But His Voice Came Out Like Darth Vader's. The Kids Cracked Up. The Coach Tried Again, But This Time The Megaphone Blared: "the Cow Says Moo!

When He Pulled Away, He Smiled Kindly At Me. I Felt So Good, I'll Admit I Teared Up A Little. I Guess Until That Moment I Hadn't Allowed Myself To Realize Just How Terrified I Had Been The Last Few Days. "dad-" "shhh," He Said. "no Hero Is Above Fear, Percy. And You Have Risen Above Every Hero. Not Even Hercules-

I Stared At The River Far Below. "why Did You Park Us On The Mountain? Why Not Closer?" Bast Shrugged, As If This Hadn't Occurred To Her. "cats Like To Get As High Up As Possible. In Case We Have To Pounce On Something." "great," I Said. "so If We Have To Pounce, We're All Set.

Shut Up, Me,” Leo Said Aloud. “what?” Piper Asked. “nothing,” He Said. “long Night. I Think I’m Hallucinating. It’s Cool.” Sitting In Front, Leo Couldn’t See Their Faces, But He Assumed From Their Silence That His Friends Were Not Pleased To Have A Sleepless, Hallucinating Dragon Driver. “just Joking.” Leo Decided It Might Be Good To Change The Subject.

Tell Me When It's Over " Thalia Said. Her Eyes Were Shut Tight. The Statue Was Holding On To Us So We Couldn't Fall But Still Thalia Clutched His Arm Like It Was The Most Important Thing In The World. "everything's Fine " I Promised. "are... Are We Very High " I Looked Down. Below Us A Range Of Snowy Mountains Zipped By. I Stretched Out My Foot And Kicked Snow Off One Of The Peaks. "nah " I Said. "not That High.

There’s Nothing Here,” Carter Said. “what Do You Want?” I Asked. “we’ve Got Wax, Some Toilet Papyrus, An Ugly Statue.

No, No,” Leo Said. “rainbows. Very Macho.

Oh You Two Look Delicious," Bast Said, Licking Her Lips. "no, No-er, I Mean Wonderful. Now, Off You Go!

Oh, Dear Hazel.” Aphrodite Folded Her Fan. “such Optimism, Yet You Have Heartrending Days Ahead Of You. Of Course War Is Coming. Love And War Always Go Together. They Are The Peaks Of Human Emotion! Evil And Good, Beauty And Ugliness.

The Sign Was Spray-painted In Arabic And English, Probably From Some Attempt By The Farmer To Sell His Wares In The Market. The English Read: Dates-best Price. Cold Bebsi. "bebsi?" I Asked. "pepsi," Walt Said. "i Read About It On The Internet. There's No 'p' In Arabic. Everyone Here Calls The Soda Bebsi." "so You Have To Have Bebsi With Your Bizza?" "brobably.

So Mortals Tend To See Only What They Can Understand.

She Glared At Me Like She Was About To Punch Me, But Then She Did Something That Surprised Me Even More. She Kissed Me. "be Careful Seaweed Brain." She Said Putting On Her Invisible Cap And Disappearing. I Probably Would Have Sat There All Day, Trying To Remember My Name, But Then The Sea Demons Came.

On A Basketball Court, Five Players Were In The Middle Of An Intense Game. They Wore Assortment Of Jerseys From Different American Teams, And They All Seemed Keen To Win—grunting And Snarling At Each Other, Stealing The Ball And Pushing. Oh…and The Players Were All Baboons.

Just Curious How Much I'm Going For These Days," Leo Said. "i Mean, I Can Understand Not Being As Pricey As Percy Or Jason, Maybe...but Am I Worth, Like, Two Franks, Or Three Franks?

Sometimes Things Don't End Okay.

Swords Can’t Solve Every Problem.

Coach Hedge Shouted, 'let The Movie Star Go, You Big Ugly Cupcake! Or I'm Gonna Plant My Hoof Right Up Your...

Annabeth Looked At Me. " We Have To Get Out Of Here." " You Think I Want To Be In The Girls' Restroom?" " I Mean The Ship, Percy! We Have To Get Off The Ship." " Smells Bad," Tyson Agreed. " And Dogs Eat All The Eggs. Annabeth Is Right. We Must Leave The Restroom And The Ship.

You Must Carry On My Spirit. It Can No Longer Be Carried By A God. It Must Be Taken Up By All Of You. - Pan

But This Plan Of Yous!' Tawaret Shuddered, Causing A Tsunami Of Jiggling Hippo Flesh.

But Beauty Is About Finding The Right Fit, The Most Natural Fit, To Be Perfect, You Have To Feel Perfect About Yourself --- Avoid Trying To Be Something You're Not. For A Goddess, That's Especially Hard. We Can Change So Easily. -aphrodite

We’re Staying Together,” He Promised. “you’re Not Getting Away From Me. Never Again.” Only Then Did She Understand What Would Happen. A One-way Trip. A Very Hard Fall. ”as Long As We’re Together,” She Said. She Heard Nico And Hazel Still Screaming For Help. She Saw Sunlight Far, Far Above- Maybe The Last Sunlight She Would Ever See. Then Percy Let Go Of His Ledge, And Together, Holding Hands, He And Annabeth Fell Into The Endless Darkness.

If I'm Going To Burn, It Might As Well Be Bright.

They [percy And Annabeth] Held The Doors Shut As The Elevator Shuddered And The Music Played, While Somewhere Below Them, A Titan And A Giant Sacrificed Their Lives For Their Escape.

His Lion And Hippo Legs Twitched. I Wondered If Netherworld Monsters Dreamed Of Chasing Rabbits.

Calm Down, Horus Said. "don't Tell Me To Calm Down!" Bast Frowned. "i Didn't." "talking To Him!" I Pointed At My Forehead.

Right,” I Said. “so The Baboon, The Crocodile…any Other Pets I Should Know About?” Amos Thought For A Moment. “visible Ones? No, I Think That’s It.

I Have Moments Like That Alot, When My Brain Falls Asleep Or Something, And The Next Thing I Know I've Missed Something, As If A Puzzle Piece Fell Out Of The Universe And Left Me Staring At The Blank Place Behind It. -- Percy Jackson

I Need To Talk To Clarisse," Annabeth Said. I Stared At Her As If She'd Just Said "i Need To Eat A Large, Smelly Boot." "what For?

Sometimes It Is Better To Have Someone You Mistrust Close To You, So That You Can Keep An Eye On Him - Chiron

I’ll Leave You Guys To Get Acquainted. Somebody Show Leo To Dinner When It’s Time?” “i Got It,” One Of The Girls Said. Nyssa, Leo Remembered. She Wore Camo Pants, A Tank Top That Showed Off Her Buff Arms, And A Red Bandanna Over Her Mop Of Dark Hair. Except For The Smiley-face Band-aid On Her Chin, She Looked Like One Of Those Female Action Heroes, Like Any Second She Was Going To Grab A Machine Gun And Start Mowing Down Evil Aliens. “cool,” Leo Said. “i Always Wanted A Sister Who Could Beat Me Up.

How Flattering,” I Grumbled. “my Soul Glows.

Um ,sorry. I Cant Read The Last Line." "fish. Have You Stolen Any Fish From The Holy Lakes?" "i Lived In Kansas..so ..no

We Were Just Looking At Maps.

Frank Imitated The Voice Of Vitellius: 'they're Wimps! Back In My Day, We Died All The Time, And We Liked It!

He Warned Me The Greediest Wishes Cause The Greatest Sorrows.

All Da Ladies Love Leo!!

Enemy Giants Moved Towards The Breech, And Tyson Picked Up The Fallen Warrior’s Club. He Yelled Something To His Fellow Blacksmiths – Probably ‘for Poseidon!’ – But With His Mouth Full Of Peanut Butter It Sounded Like, ‘puh Pteh Bun.’ His Brethren All Grabbed Hammers And Chisels, Yelled, ‘peanut Butter!’ And Charged Behind Tyson Into Battle.

For Thousands Of Years, You Humans Have Been Throwing In Everything As You Come Across--hopes, Dreams, Wishes That Never Came True. Irresponsible Waste Management, If You Ask Me.

And Yes,percy,of Course They Are Now In Our United States. Look At Your Symbol,the Eagle Of Zeus. Look At The Statue Of Prometheus In Rockefeller Center,the Greek Facades Of Our Government Builidings In Washington. I Defy You To Find Any American City Where The Olympians Are Not Proeminently Displayed, In Multiple Places. Like It Or Not-and Believe Me,plenty Of People Weren't Very Found Of Rome,either-america Is Now The Heart Of The Flame. It Is The Great Power Of The West.and So Olympus Is Here.and We Are Here.

How Did You Die?" "we Er....drowned In A Bathtub." "all Three Of You?" "it Was A Big Bathtub.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

If There Were Ever Any Half-bloods Who Needed To Worry About That, It Was Thalia And Me. I Wondered If Maybe I Should've Sent Poseidon That Seashell Pattern Tie For Father's Day After All. --percy Jackson

The Baboon Is Driving,” I Noted. “should I Be Worried?

Amos Sipped His Coffee. The Faraway Look On His Face Reminded Me Of My Dad. “i Don’t Want To Scare You.” “too Late.

As A Magician, You Must Think About Chaos And Order. Those Are The Two Forces That Control The Universe.

He Was Slumped Over, Blood Trickling From The Side Of His Mouth. I Shook His Furry Hip, Thinking, No! Even If You Are Half Barnyard Animal, You're My Best Friend And I Don't Want You To Die!

He Looked Like Those Paintings Of Baby Angels - What Do You Call Them, Hubbubs? No Cherubs. That's It. He Looked Like A Cherub Who'd Turned Middle-aged In A Trailer Park.

She Led The Way. Eyeless Sockets Of The Dead Seemed To Stare At Them As They Passed. "these Are Cool," Dan Decided. "maybe I Could-" "no, Dan," Amy Said. "you Can't Collect Human Bones." "awww.

Who Are You And Why Are You My Cat?

You Said Your Mom Is The Goddess Of Balance," I Reminded Him. "the Minor Gods Deserve Better, Ethan, But Total Destruction Isn't Balance. Kronos Doesn't Build. He Only Destroys.

The Store Had A Hand-painted Sign The Read: Moose Pass Gas. "that's Just Wrong," Frank Said.

We’ve Arrived,” Leo Announced. “time To Split.” Frank Groaned. “can We Leave Valdez In Croatia?

We Can’t Make A Portal—” “we’ve Got A Flying Boat,” Carter Offered.

Maybe That's Why He Had Started To Fear Suffocation. It Wasn't So Much Drowning In The Earth Or Sea But The Feeling That He Was Sinking Into Too Many Expectations, Literally Getting In Over His Head. Wow...when He Started Having Thoughts Like That, He Knew He'd Been Spending Too Much Time With Annabeth.

Thalia Blushed. "hi, Lord Apollo." Zeus's Girl, Yes? Makes You My Half Sister. Used To Be A Tree, Didn't You? Glad You're Back. I Hate It When Pretty Girls Turn Into Trees. Man, I Remember One Time—

The Real Story Of The Fleece: There Were These Two Children Of Zeus, Cadmus And Europa, Okay? They Were About To Get Offered Up As Human Sacrifices, When They Prayed To Zeus To Save Them. So Zeus Sent This Magical Flying Ram With Golden Wool, Which Picked Them Up In Greece And Carried Them All The Way To Colchis In Asia Minor. Well, Actually It Carried Cadmus. Europa Fell Off And Died Along The Way, But That's Not Important." "it Was Probably Important To Her.

Patterns Repeat Themselves In History

You Deal With Mythological Stuff For A Few Years, You Learn That Paradises Are Usually Places Where You Get Killed.

Sadie Kane Here. If You're Listening To This, Congratulations, You Survived Doomsday.

Congratulations

I Found That Things Weren't Going Well Upstairs. Carter Was A Crumpled Heap Of Chicken Warrior On The Slope Of The Pyramid.

Poseidon Raised His Eyebrows As They Shook Hands. “blowfish, Did You Say?” "ah, No. Blofis, Actually.” "oh, I See,” Poseidon Said. “a Shame. I Quite Like Blowfish. I Am Poseidon.” "poseidon? That’s An Interesting Name.” "yes, I Like It. I’ve Gone By Other Names, But I Do Prefer Poseidon.” "like The God Of The Sea.” "very Much Like That, Yes.

Erre Es Korakas, Blinky!" Dionysus Cursed. "i Will Have Your Soul!

And You, Percy, Are My Favorite Son.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians

Are You Kidding?" She Looked At Me As If I'd Just Dropped From The Moon. Her Cheeks Were Bright Red. "what's The Problem Now?" I Demanded. "me, Go With You To The...the 'thrill Ride Of Love'? How Embarrassing Is That? What If Somebody Saw Me?" "who's Going To See You?" But My Face Was Burning Now, Too. Leave It To A Girl To Make Everything Complicated. "fine," I Told Her. "i'll Do It Myself." But When I Started Down The Side Of The Pool, She Followed Me, Muttering About How Boys Always Messed Things Up.

I Am Committed To Writing Appropriate Books For The Middle Grades. This Means No Bad Language, No Gratuitous Or Explicit Violence, And No Sexual Content Beyond What You Might Find In A Pg-rated Movie – Expressions Of Who Likes Whom, Holding Hands, And Perhaps The Occasional Kiss. The Idea That We Should Treat Sexual Orientation Itself As An Adults-only Topic, However, Is Absurd. Non-heterosexual Children Exist. To Pretend They Do Not, To Fail To Recognize That They Have Needs For Support And Validation Like Any Child, Would Be Bad Teaching, Bad Writing, And Bad Citizenship.

Never Bet Against A Cat.

People Are More Difficult To Work With Than Machines. And When You Break A Person, He Can't Be Fixed.

Bes Had Indeed Put On His Ugly Outfit. He Climbed Onto The Roof Of The Limbo And Stood There, Legs Planted, Arms Akimbo, Like Superman-exept With Only The Underwear. I Wasn't Sure What To Say Except: "put Some Clothes On!" "these Children Are Under My Protection," Bes Insisted. "i Don't Know You," I Said, "i Never Met You Before Today." "nonsense. You Expressly Asked For My Attention." "i Didn't Ask For The Speedo Patrol!

Great. I've Made A Friend.

Egypt Is The First Nome. New York Is The Twenty-first. What’s The Last One, The Three-hundred-and-sixtieth?” “that Would Be Antarctica,” Zia Said. “a Punishment Assignment. Nothing There But A Couple Of Cold Magicians And Some Magic Penguins.” “magic Penguins?” “don’t Ask.

They Would Find This House Of Hades. They'd Take The Doors Of Death. And By The Gods, If Leo Had To Design A Grabber Arm Long Enough To Snatch Percy And Annabeth Out Of Tartarus, Then That's What He Would Do. Nemesis Wanted Him To Wreak Vengeance On Gaea? Leo Would Be Happy To Oblige. He Was Going To Make Gaea Sorry She Had Ever Messed With Leo Valdez. "yeah." He Took One Last Look At The Cityscape Of Rome, Turning Bloodred In The Sunset. "festus, Raise The Sails. We've Got Some Friends To Save.

It Is A Costly Thing, Looking On The True Face Of Love.

It's Hard To Enjoy Practical Jokes When Your Whole Life Feels Like One.

[hazel] Hissed In Frustration. 'i Hate Eidolons. I Thought Piper Made Them Promise To Stay Away.' 'oh...' Frank Said, Like He'd Just Had His Own Daily Happy Thought. 'piper Made Them Promise To Stay Off The Ship And Not Possess Any Of Us. But If They Followed Us, And Used Other Bodies To Attack Us, Then They're Not Technically Breaking Their Vow...' 'great,' Leo Muttered. 'eidolons Who Are Also Lawyers. Now I Really Want To Kill Them.

Hazel Frowned. "why That One?" "you Don't See The Ghost?" Frank Asked. "ghost?" Nico Asked. Okay... If Frank Was Seeing A Ghost That The Underworld Kids Couldn't See, Something Was Definitely Wrong.

We Speak With One Voice,” Walt Said. “especially On This Matter. No One Hurts Sadie Kane.

You Both Passed Out,” Percy Said. “i Don’t Know Why, But Ella Told Me Not To Worry About It. She Said You Were…sharing?” “sharing,” Ella Agreed. She Crouched In The Stern, Preening Her Wing Feathers With Her Teeth, Which Didn’t Look Like A Very Effective Form Of Personal Hygiene. She Spit Out Some Red Fluff. “sharing Is Good. No More Blackouts. Biggest American Blackout, August 14, 2003. Hazel Shared. No More Blackouts.” Percy Scratched His Head. “yeah…we’ve Been Having Conversations Like That All Night. I Still Don’t Know What She’s Talking About.

Kids Are Baby Goats. They're Cute And They Have Redeeming Social Value. You Are Definitely Not Kids.

He Looked Like An Evil Male Model, Showing Off What The Fashionable College Age Villain Was Wearing To Harvard This Year.

Hazel!” He Yelled. “that Box! Open It!” She Hesitated, Then Saw The Box He Meant. Te Label Read Warning. Do Not Open. “open It!” Leo Yelled Again.

We’re On The Moon,” Sadie Murmured. “el Paso, Texas,” Bast Corrected.

Leo Waited While The Fish Centaur Put Away His Supplies. Aphros's Lobster-claw Horns Kept Swimming Around In His Thick Hair, And Leo Had To Resist The Urge To Try And Rescue Them.

Fair... You'd Be Amazed How Often I Hear That Word, Frank Zhang,and How Meaningless It Is. Is It Fair Your Life Will Burn So Short And Bright? Was It Fair When I Guided Your Mother To The Underworld? No, Not Fair. And Yet It Was Her Time. There Is No Fairness In Death. If You Free Me, I Will Do My Duty.

Aphrodite: Pfft. That's Not The Point. Follow Your Heart. Percy: But... I Don't Know Where It's Going. My Heart, I Mean.

Yes,' She Said. 'the Great Prophecy Has Begun.' Pandemonium Broke Out.

As An Author, I Don't Really Think Too Much About Being A Celebrity. It's Not Like Being A Movie Star Or A Tv Star. It's Not As If People Recognize Me When I Walk Down The Street. That Hardly Ever Happens, And It's Just As Well. But It Is Great When People Know My Books, When I Walk Through An Airport And See Them In The Bookstore, Or When I See Someone Reading A Book On A Plane Or On A Train, And It's Something I've Written. That's A Wonderful Feeling.

I’ve Met Plenty Of Embarrassing Parents, But Kronos, The Evil Titan Lord Who Wanted To Destroy Western Civilization? Not The Kind Of Dad You Invited To School For Career Day.

"boys," Annabeth Interrupted, "i'm Sure You Both Would've Been Wonderful At Killing Each Other. But Right Now You Need Some Rest."

Seven Half-bloods Shall Answer The Call To Storm Or Fire The World Must Fall An Oath To Keep With A Final Breath And Foes Bear Arms To The Doors Of Death

Bring It On, Pinecone Face!

Did You Bring Me A Rat?" "he Has No Time For Rats, George." "no Time For Rats? That's Just Sad.

So, If I Looked Him Up On Google Maps-

You're Cute When You're Worried, Your Eyebrows Get All Scrunched Together.

Warning: The Following Is A Transcript Of A Digital Recording. In Certain Places, The Audio Quality Was Poor, So Some Words And Phrases Represent The Author's Best Guesses. Where Possible, Illustrations Of Important Symbols Mentioned In The Recording Have Been Added. Background Noises Such As Scuffling, Hitting, And Cursing By The Two Speakers Have Not Been Transcribed The Author Makes No Claims For The Authenticity Of The Recording. It Seems Impossible That The Two Young Narrators Are Telling The Truth, But You, The Reader, Must Decide For Yourself.

Background Noise

He Issued Orders To Us: Demigods Who Come To Us For Aid Are No Longer To Be Tolerated. We Are To Crush Your Little Mortal Faces.' There Was An Uncomfortable Silence. 'that Sounds...extreme,' Jason Ventured.

Percy Imagined What That Would Be Like: Getting An Apartment In This Tiny Replica Of Rome, Protected By The Legion And Terminus The Ocd Border God. He Imagined Holding Hands With Annabeth At A Cafe. Maybe When They Were Older, Watching Their Own Kid Chase Seagulls Across The Forum.

I Had Nightmares About What Poseidon Might Turn Me Into If I Were On The Verge Of Death-plankton Maybe." -percy Jackson

Percy Smiled At Her - That Sarcastic Troublemaker Smile That Had Annoyed Her For Years But Eventually Had Become Endearing. His Sea-green Eyes Were As Gorgeous As She Remembered. His Dark Hair Was Swept To One Side, Like He'd Just Come From A Walk On The Beach. He Looked Even Better Than He Had Six Months Ago - Tanner And Taller, Leaner And More Muscular. Percy Threw His Arms Around Her. They Kissed And For A Moment Nothing Else Mattered. An Asteroid Could Have Hit The Planet And Wiped Out All Life, And Annabeth Wouldn't Have Cared.

I Thought Maybe He Was Seeing Another Tree. - Juniper

He Understood How Dangerous Oaths Could Be. But Leo Didn't Care. "i'm Coming Back For You, Calypso," He Said To The Night Wind. "i Swear It On The River Styx.

You Can Tell The Future?' 'more Like The Future Mugs Me From Time To Time.' Rachel Said 'i Speak Prophecies. The Oracle Spirit Kind Of Hijacks Me Once In A While, And Speaks Important Stuff That Doesn't Make Any Sense To Anybody. But Yeah, The Prophecies Tell The Future.

Annabeth Thalia And I Hadn't Seen Each Other In Months But Between The Blizzard And The Thought Of What We Were About To Do We Were Too Nervous To Talk Much. Except For My Mom. She Talks More When She's Nervous. By The Time We Finally Got To Westover Hall It Was Getting Dark And She'd Told Annabeth And Thalia Every Embarrassing Baby Story There Was To Tell About Me.

Hey! Guy With Scary Eyes?" Madison Called Out. "you Know What A Moose Does When Someone Insults Her Family?" Ivan Raised His Eyebrows. "she Does This." Madison Crouched Down And Charged Ivan. Her Head Hit Him In The Stomach.

Nico Danced Around Like He Needed To Use The Restroom. "does Zeus Really Have Lightning Bolts That Do Six Hundred Damage? Does He Get Extra Movement Points For—" "nico, Shut Up!" Bianca Put Her Hands To Her Face. "this Is Not Your Stupid Mythomagic Game, Okay? There Are No Gods!

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