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I Had Never Thought I Could Love Another Person This Much. I Also Never Thought I’d Live In Such Fear Of Losing Another Person. Was This How Everyone In Love Felt? Did They All Cling Tightly To Their Beloved And Wake Up Terrified In The Middle Of The Night, Afraid Of Being Alone? Was That An Inevitable Way Of Life When You Loved So Deeply? Or Was It Just Those Of Us Who Walked On A Precipice Who Lived In Such Panic?

-Richelle Mead

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I Had Never Thought

Richelle Mead

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I Had Never Thought I Could Love Another Person This Much. I Also Never Thought I’d Live In Such Fear Of Losing Another Person. Was This How Everyone In Love Felt? Did They All Cling Tightly To Their Beloved And Wake Up Terrified In The Middle Of The Night, Afraid Of Being Alone? Was That An Inevitable Way Of Life When You Loved So Deeply? Or Was It Just Those Of Us Who Walked On A Precipice Who Lived In Such Panic?

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Keeping Love Buried Was A Lot Like Jeeping Anger Pent Up, I'd Learned. It Just Ate You Up Insides Until You Wanted To Scream Or Kick Something.

I Loved You!" He Yelled. He Jumped Up Out Of His Chair So Quickly I Never Saw It Coming. "i Loved You, And You Destroyed Me. You Took My Heart And Ripped It Up.

It's Worth It. It's Worth Giving Up The Sun And Magic.

God Might Work On Mysterious Ways, But Hell Worked On Efficient Ones.

Adrian Stood There Leaning Against The Doorframe, Watching Me With His Heart In His Eyes. In My Chest, My Own Heart Was Breaking. On My Cheek, The Lily Reminded Me Who I Was.

Can You Ever Get Off For Good Behavior?" He Joked. I Gave Him What I Hoped Was A Seductive Smile As I Found My Seat. "sure," I Called Over My Shoulder. "if I Was Ever Good.

Are You Sleepwalking?' A Voice Asked Behind Me. "i Was Testing Dorm Security," I Said. "it Sucks.

I Eyed Dimitri, Recalling A Shadow In My Periphery Back In The Ballroom. "you Followed When I Jumped In Front Of Lissa, Didn't You? Who Were You Going For? Me Or Her?" He Studied Me For Several Long Seconds. He Could Have Lied. He Could Have Given The Easy Answer By Saying He'd Intended To Push Both Of Us Out Of The Way-if That Was Even Possible, Which I Didn't Recall. But Dimitri Didn't Lie. "i Don't Know, Roza. I Don't Know.

You’re A Terrible Liar, Sage, But I’m Still Touched You’d Attempt It For My Sake. A For Effort.

Rose Only Hangs Out With Guys And Psychopaths," Said Mia. "well," He Said Cheerfully, "since I'm Both A Psychopath And A Guy, That Would Explain Why We're Such Good Friends.

We're Going On A, Um, Windmill Tour Later This Week." If I'd Wanted To Shut Them All Up, I'd Definitely Succeeded. They All Looked Stunned. Adrian Spoke First. "i'm Going To Assume That Means He's Flying You To Amsterdam On His Private Jet. If So, I'd Like To Come Along. But Not For The Windmills.

Melbourne, I Always Knew You'd Need To Learn About This Kind Of Thing. I 'd Just Kind Of Hoped You'd Learn It On A Real Guy.

I Don’t Know How You Do It. You Aren’t Even Blond. I Mean, Maybe A Little, But Mostly You’re A Brunette. I Just Don’t See Guys Going For That.” “yeah, Well, Some People Are Into Kinky Stuff, I Guess.

Sage?" Adrian Lightly Touched My Arm, And I Jumped At The Feel Of His Fingertips Against My Skin. "you Okay?" "i Don't Know," I Said Softly. "i Just Thought Of Something Crazy." "welcome To My World.

I Had To Be The Next Family Alchemist. My Sister... Well, She's Older, And Usually It's The Oldest Kid Who Has To Do The Job. But, She's Kind Of... Worthless. -sydney To Rose

I Disconnected As A Sleepy Seth Stepped Out Of The Bedroom. “who’s Dante? Was That A Collect Call To The Inferno?” “they Won’t Accept The Charges,” I Murmured.

I Saw Endless Depths Of Brown, The Depths I'd Fallen Into So Many Times. No Red Rings. Dimitri...was Not A Strigoi. And He Was Weeping.

Wait Until Next Time," He Warned. "i'll Do Things That'll Make You Lose Control Within Seconds.

When She Left For A Third Time And Returned With A Giant Box, I Started To Get Irate. "what Is This?" I Demanded, Taking It From Her. It Felt Like It Had Bricks In It. "grandmother Needs You To Carry Some Things," Paul Told Me. "yes," I Said Through Gritted Teeth. "i Sort Of Figured That Out Fifty Pounds Ago.

Please Don’t Get Sentimental,” Said Jerome. “it’s Nauseating.

But The Humans Weren't What Made My Steps Falter As I Walked Through Grass That Had Turned Bright Green With Summer's Touch. It Was Dimitri. Always Dimitri. Dimitri, The Man I Loved. Dimitri, The Strigoi I Wanted To Save. Dimitri, The Monster I'd Most Likely Have To Kill. The Love We'd Shared Always Burned Within Me, No Matter How Often I Told Myself To Move On, No Matter How Much The World Did Think I'd Move On. He Was Always With Me, Always On My Mind, Always Making Me Question Myself.

That Was Ridiculous," I Told Dorian, Once She'd Left. "she's Not The Kind Of Person To Fall For Your Flirting." "on The Contrary," Said Dorian. "she's Exactly The Kind Of Person To Fall For It. I Understand These Warrior Maids, You Know. They Live Such Harsh, Cold Lives, Always Trying To Keep Up With The Men... When Really, They Just Need Someone To Make Them Feel Like A Woman. And That, Of Course, Is An Area In Which I Excel. Why, If I'd Had Ten Minutes Alone With Her—

That’s The Last Time You’re Going To Kiss Me,” I Warned When It Ended. He Smiled Knowingly, And In His Eyes, I Could See His Own Memories Of That Night. “so You Say.

I Didn’t Get Her Cutting At All. She’d Done It Sporadically, Ever Since The Accident And It Scared Me Each Time. She'd Try To Explain It To Me, How She Didn't Want To Die—she Just Needed To Get It Out Somehow. She Felt So Much Emotionally, She Would Say, That A Physical Outlet—physical Pain—was The Only Way To Make The Internal Pain Go Away. It Was The Only Way She Could Control It.

Not Me. Give Me Honesty Anytime.

He Nodded Toward The Sub. "this Is Going To Be A Blow-off Day." I Dragged My Mind Away From Magical Intrigue. After Being Homeschooled For Most Of My Life, Some Parts Of The "normal" School World Was A Mystery. "what Does That Mean, Exactly." "usually Teacher Leave Subs A Lesson Plan, Telling Them What To Do. I Saw Ms. Terwilliger Left. It Said, 'distract Them.

How Do You Say Goodbye To Someone Who Isn't Exactly Gone.

Is It Really So Terrible Being Around Us?" I Blushed. "no," I Said. "but . . . It's Complicated. I've Been Taught Certain Things My Entire Life. Those Are Hard To Shake." "the Greatest Changes In History Have Come Because People Were Able To Shake Off What Others Told Them To Do.

Sometimes You Wake Up From A Dream. Sometimes You Wake Up In A Dream. And Sometimes, Every Once In A While, You Wake Up In Someone Else's Dream.

Bless You, Daugher Of Man," Carter Said, His Eyes Luminous And Almost Silver Now. He Leaned Down And Kissed My Forehead. I Closed My Eyes And Caught My Breath. His Lips Were Both Burning Hot And Icy Cold.

We Cannot Road Trip To Paris.

But Each Time You Use Spirit, You're More Likely To Go Crazy.” “already Crazy About You, Sage.

You Are An Exceptional, Talented, And Brilliant Young Woman. Do Not Ever Let Anyone Make You Feel Like You’re Less. Do Not Ever Let Anyone Make You Feel Invisible. Do Not Let Anyone—not Even A Teacher Who Constantly Sends You For Coffee—push You Around.

Moroi Shied From The Sunlight But As I Watched Sydney, I Knew Without A Doubt That Humans Had Been Made For The Sun.

Abe Swept In, Resplendent In A Gray And Yellow Suit That Coordinated Bafflingly Well With Adrian's Paint Job.

How Do You Prove We Exist? Maybe We Don't.

Whether It's Simply Some Fierce Animal Joining Of Mates Or A Sublime Merging Of Souls, She Is Mine, And I Am Hers.

I Can't Shut My Brain Off. It's Like A Hamster Wheel." ~ Justin

If You Touch Me, I Said Pleasantly, "i'll Provide You With The Ability To See If You Can Heal Yourself. Then We'd See How Bad Ass You Really Are."

I Certainly Hadn't Expected To Walk Away From Today's Trip With Joint Custody Of A Miniature Dragon.

His Eyes, I’d Long Since Discovered, Could Be As Eloquent And Expressive As His Pen. The Messages They Sent Me Now Hardly Seemed Decent For A Public Setting.

And I Told You, I'm Not Going To Pursue Another Man's Girlfriend. You Want To Talk Honor. There It Is In Its Purest Form

He Froze, And For One Moment, We Stood Locked In Time. I Could Feel The Silk Of His Shirt Against My Skin And The Warmth Of His Body. The Lingering Scent Of The Overpriced Cologne He Wore Floated Around Me. No Smoke For A Change. I’d Always Told Him The Cologne Couldn’t Be Worth What He Spent, But Suddenly, I Reconsidered. It Was Amazing.

Shouldn't That Be Flipped Right-side Up?" I Asked. "no," She Said, Eyes On The Cards. After Several Moments Of Heavy Silence, Said, "you Will Destroy That Which Is Undead." I Waited About Thirty Seconds For Her To Continue, But She Didn't. "wait, That's It?" She Nodded. "that's What The Cards Say To Me.

Love Is Rarely Flawless,” Carter Pointed Out. “humans Delude Themselves By Thinking It Has To Be. It Is The Imperfection That Makes Love Perfect.

You Were Wrong. She Really Is The New General In Town." I Smiled Back, Hoping He Wasn't Aware Of My Body's Reaction To Us Standing So Close. "maybe. But, It's Okay. You Can Still Be Colonel." He Arched An Eyebrow. "oh? Did You Demote Yourself? Colonel's Right Below General. What's That Make You?" I Reached Into My Pocket And Triumphantly Flashed The Cr-v Keys I'd Swiped When We'd Come Back Inside. "the Driver," I Said.

I'm Backing Down Now. I Really Do Love You. That's Why I'm Doing This.

Vampire Academy

No, No. It's Always A Good Time For You To Call, Roza.

What Were You Thinking?" I Demanded Once We Were Moving To The Music. I Was Trying To Ignore His Hands. "do You Know How Much Trouble You May Have Gotten Me In?" Adrian Grinned. "nah. They All Feel Bad For You. You'll Achieve Martyrdom After Dancing With A Mean, Wicked Vampire. Job Security With The Alchemists.

And I Could See His Internal Struggle Become An All Out War. "it Wouldn't Have Made A Difference. Not With Adrian Involved," He Said..... "i Meant It. I Won't Be That Guy Rose. I Won't Be That Man That Takes Someone Else's Girlfriend.

You Understand Your Responsibilities Better Than Guardians Twice Your Age. You'll Do What You Have To Do To Succeed.

I Couldn't Stop Staring At The Cave, Back Where Dimitri Was, Back Where Half Of My Soul Was.

My Commentary's Hilarious, Not Witty.

It Was One Thing To Accept I Couldn't Have Dimitri. It Was Something Entirely Different To Realize Someone Else Could.

He Anxiously Touched His Hair. "i Think My Hair Gel's Frozen.

Only What?” I Asked. I Could Barely Hear My Own Voice. He Turned His Gaze Back To Me, Firm And Unflinching. “only… More Human.” And That Was It. All The Anger And Sorrow Vanished. There Was Nothing In Me. Nothing At All. I Was Empty. “get Out,” I Said.

I Was So Tired Of Being Told Reasonable, Practical Things Whenever Something Went Wrong With My Life.

You And I Have Been Through Too Much Together. We're Too Close, Too Connected. I Wasn't That Crazy On Spirit When I Said You're My Flame In The Dark. We Chase Away The Shadows Around Each Other. Our Backgrounds Don't Matter. What We Have Is Bigger Than That. I Love You, And Beneath All That Logic, Calculation, And Superstition, I Know You Love Me Too.

I'm Always At Least Ten Minutes Early.

I Left Her There Crying As I Walked Toward The Gate. A Piece Of My Soul Had Died When Dimitri Had Fallen. Turning My Back On Her Now, I Felt Another Piece Die As Well. Soon There Wouldn't Be Anything Left Inside Me.

Even When I Was Dizzy With Vodka, That Smile Never Failed To Make My Heart Speed Up.

I Saw Something In His Pretty Green Eyes That I Had Never Seen Before: Anger. They Were Like Emerald Fire

Morois Are Born..but Strigois Are Made..!

Hey, A Guy Can Hope. I Mean, It’s Not Impossible That A Car Full Of Scantily Clad Sorority Girls Might Break Down Outside And Need My Help.” “that’s True,” I Said. “maybe I Can Put A Sign Out Front That Says, ‘attention All Girls: Free Help Here.’” “‘attention All Hot Girls,’” He Corrected, Straightening Up. “right,” I Said, Trying Not To Roll My Eyes. “that’s An Important Distinction.” He Pointed At Me With The Pool Stick. “speaking Of Hot, I Like That Uniform.” This Time, I Did Roll My Eyes.

Georgina," He Murmured, Pulling Me Closer. "you Are The World.

I Want Your Opinion.ʺ ʺthat,ʺ Adrian Said, ʺis Not Something I Hear A Lot.ʺ

Mistress, I Have Never Asked Anything Of You In My Servitude. But Now, I Beg You This: Do Not Make Me Keep Passing These Adolescent Sentiments Back And Forth All Night.

Since I’m Presuming You Don’t Mean You Finally Bought Him A Leash, Let Me Say Simply That There Is A Big Difference Between Allowing An Animal To Ravage You And Allowing Yourself To Be Ravaged. One Is Common. The Other Is Art. It Is Planned. Crafted, Even. Only Capable Of Being Done By A Master.

Adrian Frowned. 'is That A Noose?' 'it's A Tie!' I Cried, Trying Not To Feel Offended. He Laughed, Clearly Delighted At This. 'my Mistake.

Sorry, Ms. Terwilliger. I'm Flattered That You Think I'm Such An Upstanding Person, But I'm Already Caught Up In One Epic Battle Of Good Versus Evil. I Don't Need Another.

You Can't Save Everyone, Though God Knows You Try.

Most Good Things Come With The Risk Of Something Bad.

We Can Take Her. Besides, He Deserves Someone Who Doesn't Shop At Gap Kids. -rose To Lissa On Mia And Aaron

Do You Think That's, Like, Real Bacon?" I Whispered To Sydney And Dimitri. "and Not Like Squirrel Or Something?" "looks Real To Me," Said Dimitri. "i'd Say So Too", Said Sydney "though, I Guarantee It's From Their Own Pigs And Not A Grocery Store." Dimitri Laughed At Whatever Expression Crossed My Face. "i Always Love Seeing What Worries You. Strigoi? No. Questionable Food? Yes.

I’m Not Dangerous,” I Breathed. He Brought His Face Toward Mine. “you Are To Me.” And Somehow, Against All Reason, We Were Kissing.

...and Motioned Me Toward A Spot Next To A Middle-aged Moroi In A Very Formal And Very Designer Black Suit. The Suit Screamed, I'm Sorry The Queen Is Dead, And I'm Going To Look Fashionable While Showing My Grief

John Cusack Is Standing Over There.” I Followed His Incredulous Gaze To Where A Man Very Like Mr. Cusack Did Indeed Stand, Smoking A Cigarette As He Leaned Against A Building. I Sighed. “that’s Not John Cusack. That’s Jerome.” “seriously?” “yup. I Told You He Looked Like John Cusack.” “keyword: Looked. That Guy Doesn’t Look Like Him. That Guy Is Him.

Aw You'd Never Hurt Me. My Face Is Too Pretty. -adrian Ivashkov

Aren't You Failing English?" I Asked. Angeline Flushed. "it's Not My Fault." "even I Know You Can't Write An Article On Wikipedia And Then Use It As A Source In Your Own Essay." Sydney Had Been Torn Between Horror And Hysterics When She Told Me. "i Took 'primary Source' To A Whole New Level!" Honestly, It Was A Wonder We'd Gotten By For So Long Without Angeline. Life Must Have Been So Boring Before Her.

He Smiled, And It Lit Up His Whole Face.

If Not For Me Being Stoned And Clinging To A Taco, It Would Have Been Terribly Romantic.

Come On,"he Said, Gesturing Toward The Exit. "let's Take A Walk." "where?" "it Doesn't Matter. We Just Need You Calmed Down Or You'll Be In No Shape To Fight." "yeah? Are You Afraid Of My Possibly Insane Dark Side Coming Out?" "no, I'm Afraid Of Your Normal Rose Hathaway Side Coming Out, The One That Isn't Afraid To Jump In Without Thinking When She Believes Something Is Right." I Gave Him A Dry Look. "is There Are A Difference?" "yes. The Second One Scares Me.

I Hadn't Gotten Far When I Ran Into Mason. Good God. Men Everywhere.

Jill Was Tall And Slim, Like Most Moroi. With That Figure Came A Modest Chest. Angeline's Chest...was Not So Modest.

Are We Going To New Orleans?" "no", She Said, Backing Out Of The Spot. "we're Going To West Virginia." "i Assume By 'west Virginia,' You Actually Mean 'hawaii,'" I Said. "or Some Place Equally Exciting.

I, Had An Excellent Instructor. One That You Currently Have Locked Up. If You Want To Talk About Skills Going To Waste, Then Go Look In Your Own Jail.

I’d Seen Him Fight Before, But It Never Got Old. He Was Captivating. He Never Stopped Moving. Every Action Was Graceful And Lethal. He Was A Dancer Of Death.

Knowing Lissa Missed Me Hurt Almost More Than If She'd Completely Written Me Off. I'd Never Wanted To Hurt Her. Even When I'd Resented Her For Feeling Like She Was Controlling My Life, I'd Never Hated Her. I Loved Her Like A Sister And Couldn't Stand The Thought Of Her Suffering Now On My Behalf. How Had Things Gotten So Screwed Up Between Us?

No, I Can Just Read You. Finally. I Can't Believe How Blind I Was. I Can't Believe I Never Noticed. Victor's Comment...he Was Right." She Glanced Off At The Sunset, Then Turned Her Gaze Back On Me. A Flash Of Anger, Both In Her Feelings And Her Eyes, Hit Me. "why Didn't You Tell Me?" She Cried. "why Didn't You Tell Me You Loved Dimitri?

The Guardians Wouldn't Abandon The Last Dragomir. And I Wouldn't Have Abandoned Lissa Even If There Were A Million Dragomirs.

You’ll Know Her By A Crown Of Stars And Flowers, And Then When You Take Her To Your Bed And Claim Her, You Will Swear Your Loyalty To Me.

I Tried To Be A Better Person For Her– But It Was To Impress Her, To Get Her To Want Me. But When I’m Around You, I Want To Be Better Because… Well, Because It Feels Right. Because I Want To. You Make Me Want To Become Something Greater Than Myself. I Want To Excel. You Inspire Me In Every Act, Every Word, Every Glance. I Look At You, And You’re Like… Like Light Made Into Flesh. […] You Have No Clue How Beautiful You Are Or How Brightly You Shine.

I Don't Know. This College Would Probably Have The Same Problem The Last One Did." I Frowned. "what's That?" "homework." "adrian," Growled His Father. "it's Okay," Said Adrian Breezily. He Rested His Arm Casually On The Table. "i Don't Really Need A Job Or Extra Money. After Rose And I Get Married, The Kids And I'll Just Live Off Of Her Guardian Paycheck.

Call Me Crazy For Asking This, But, Um, Are Lissa And I Going With You?" "no" "no?" "no.

Mmm. O Positive, My Favorite.

What Do You Think Dimitri? Is This A Good Idea, Dimitri? Please Give Us Your Blessing So That We Can Fall Down And Worship You, Dimitri.

Weirdly, An Image Of Adrian’s Love Painting Came Back To Me. I Thought Of The Jagged Red Streak, Slashing Through The Blackness, Ripping It Apart. Staring At Jill And Her Inconsolable Pain, I Suddenly Understood His Art A Little Bit Better.

Dmitri Was At A Total Loss. It Was A Common Reaction For People When I Agreed To Do Something Reasonable.

Adrian Suddenly Made An Abrupt Turn Onto A Side Street We'd Nearly Driven Past. I Jerked Upright As He Clipped The Curb. "what Are You Doing? Think About Your Tires!

What Are You, Rose Hathaway? Are You Real? You're A Dream Within A Dream. I'm Afraid Touching You Will Make Me Wake Up. You'll Disappear.

My Smile Faded, And I Suddenly Felt Confused. My Heart Leapt In My Chest. "why Would You Do That For Me?" "what Wouldn't I Do For You?

Um, Thanks,” She Said. It Was Nice To See One Woman Finally Immune To That Accent. That Wasn’t To Say Rose Wasn’t A Sucker For Accents. She Just Preferred Hers From The Other Side Of Europe.

Brayden Met My Eyes. His Were Hazel, Almost Like Eddie’s But With A Little Green. Not As Much Green As Adrian’s, Of Course. No One’s Eyes Were That Amazingly Green.

Wow. What'd He Do To Deserve That? Rescue Orphans From A Burning Building? If So, You Might Want To Make Sure He Didn't Set The Building On Fire In The First Place.

Too Bad. Family Members Hit You By Accident. Psychopathic Whores Tend To Come Back For More.

You…you Got Rid Of That Dress Fast," I Pointed Out Between Heavy Breaths. "i Thought You Liked It." "i Do Like It," He Said. His Breathing Was As Heavy As Mine. "i Love It." And Then He Took Me To The Bed.

He's An Angel. Isn't He Supposed To Love Everyone, Even The Damned? Especially When Said Damned Are His Drinking Buddies.

Eddie Was Intensely Dedicated Too. Adrian Sometimes Called Him Mini-dimitri

When Love And Jealousy Collide On The Slopes, Winter Break Turns Deadly

Love And Jealousy

How Do You Know It Was The Blighted Pile? Did You Recognize Maiwenn’s Gift?” “no, But There Was A Marble Bust Of Dorian In There, Which I Figured Must Have Been His Kingdom’s ‘humble’ Gift.

Maybe Instead Of Stalking Her, You Should Go Out With Someone Else." He Sighed. "you Don't Think I've Tried? How Can Anyone Compare? You Might Not Believe This, But There Is No One Like Ageline At This School.

I Find Prostitutes Vastly Important.

You And Me Are Going To Have So Much Fun, Rose. Picking Out Curtains, Doing Each Other's Hair, Telling Ghost Stories.

Thanks For Looking Out For Her, Sage. You're Okay. For A Human." I Almost Laughed. "thanks." "you Can Say It Too, You Know." I Walked Over To Latte And Paused. "say What?" "that I'm Okay...for A Vampire," He Explained. I Shook My Head, Still Smiling. "you'll Have A Hard Time Getting Any Alchemist To Admit That. But I Can Say You're Okay For An Irreverent Party Boy With Occasional Moments Of Brilliance." "brilliant? You Think I'm Brilliant?" He Threw His Hands Skyward. "you Hear That, World? Sage Says I'm Brilliant.

It Doesn’t Matter,” Said Adrian, Smiling. He Rested A Hand On My Shoulder. “some Things Are Worth The Trouble.

I Nodded. "yup. What I Did Was Tantamount To Treason In Their Eyes." "i Don't Know What 'tantamount' Means, But It Sounds Pretty Serious.

Sorry, Sage. Last I Checked, You Aren’t An Expert In Social Matters..." "at Least I Take Action. You? You Let The World Go By Without You. You Have No Spine. You Don’t Fight Back." “you Don’t Know The First Thing About Me, Adrian Ivashkov. I Fight Back Plenty.

I Know How You Guys Feel About Us. I'm Not Stupid, And Believe Me, I've Tried To Get You Out Of My Head. But There Isn't Enough Liquor Or Art Or Any Other Distraction In The World To Do It. I Had To Stop Going To Wolfe's Because It Was Too Hard Being That Close To You, Even If It Was All Just Pretend Fighting. I Couldn't Stand The Touching. It Was Agonizing Because It Meant Something To Me－and I Knew It Meant Nothing To You. I Kept Telling Myself To Stay Away Altogether, And Then I'd Find Excuses… Like The Car… Anything To Be Around You Again.

People Who Are Crazy Rarely Question Whether They're Crazy.

But When The Other End Of The Line Picked Up, It Was His Voicemail That Answered, Not The Man Himself. "i Know How Devastated You Must Be To Miss Me," His Cheery Voice Said, "but Leave A Message, And I'll Try To Ease Your Agony As Soon As Possible.

It’s Kahlua, Sage. Packed With Sugar And Coffee Flavor.

Hey Show Some Respect. They’re Real People With Names. Carla And Krissy” He Frowned. “or Was It Missy?

The Choices We Made Today Were Templates For The Future.

One Day She's Throwing A Book At Me. The Next, We're Making Out Behind The Library.

Also, I Didn’t Trust Any Guy Who Used More Styling Products Than I Did.

So. Are You Guys Here To Convert Me Or Sell Me Siding?

Both Christian And Adrian Had Worried There Would Be Some Piece Of Strigoi Left In Him, But Their Fears Had Been About Violence And Bloodshed. No One Would Have Guessed This: That Living As A Strigoi Had Hardened His Heart, Killing Any Chance Of Him Loving Anyone. Killing Any Chance Of Him Loving Me. And I Was Pretty Sure That If That Was The Case, Then Part Of Me Would Die Too.

What Happened? Did A House Fall On Your Sister?" I Asked. Maybe There Was A Benefit To Our Language Barrier. She Pursed Her Lips. "you Can't Stay Here Much Longer," She Said. My Mouth Dropped Open. "you...you Speak English?" She Snorted. "of Course.

Just Friends, Just Friends. Standing There In The Bookstore, Watching Seth Walk Away, I Half Wondered How Anyone Could Still Use That Line. But I Knew Why, Of Course. It Was Used Because People Still Believed It. Or At Least They Wanted To.

Sydney: Ever Had That Happen? Once You Can’t Have Something, You Want It That Much More.” Adrian: “yes. It Happens All The Time.

He Looked Up At Me With Angelic Eyes. "doing What?" "you Know What. You're Luring Me In. You Know I Can't Resist-

We Can't Do This Without You," I Managed At Last. "everyone Talks About My Powers, But You're The Badass Here.

My Boyfriend Was Insanely Sexy, Vampire Or Not, And I Couldn't Keep My Hands Off Him.

I Took A Deep Breath. "are You Free Tonight?" There Was A Long, Pregnant Pause. "what About The Man In The Dream?" He Finally Asked. "there Is No Man In The Dream.

Well," He Said, Clearly Enjoying My Confusion. "it Was Actually For Two Souls, Since You And Seth Were Both Saved. But Even If It Wasn't, It Still Would've Been Worth It. Do You Know The Price Of One Soul, Georgina? It's Beyond Rubies And Diamonds, Beyond Any Mortal Reckoning. If It Had Taken Me Centuries, If It Had Taken A Dozen More Angels To Help Me, It All Would Have Been Worth It.

You Can Put On As Many Airs As You Want, But In The End, That Dress Is The Same As You: An Old, Cheap Design Dressed Up To Look Like Its Worth More Than It Is.

It Won't Be That Simple Though, Will It?' She Sounded Wise Beyond Her Years. 'things Are Going To Get Worse Before They Get Better, Aren't They?

You Can't Force Love, I Realized. It's There Or It Isn't. If It's Not There, You've Got To Be Able To Admit It. If It Is There, You've Got To Do Whatever It Takes To Protect The Ones You Love.

I Crossed My Arms Over My Chest. "are You Lost, Little Girl? The Elementary School's Over On West Campus." A Pink Flush Spread Over Her Cheeks. "don't You Ever Touch Me Again. You Screw With Me, I'll Screw You Right Back." Oh Man, What An Opening That Was.

If I Propose, You'll Know It. For One Thing, I'll Be Hyperventilating.

Would He Have Said He Loved Me? I Would Ask Myself That For The Rest Of My Life.

Dimitri Belikov

This Isn’t A Game. We Don’t Want Mediocre Employees Who Can Keep The Status Quo. We Want Souls. We Want To Win. And You’ve Spent Most Of Your Time Here Being Mediocre.

You Guys Didn't Really Think You Could Go Off On A Party Weekend Without Me, Did You? Especially Here Of All Places—" He Froze And It Was One Of Those Rare Moments When Adrian Ivashkov Was Caught Totally And Completely Off Guard. "did You Know," He Said Slowly, "that Victor Dashkov Is Sitting On Your Bed?" "yeah," I Said. "it Was Kind Of A Shock To Us Too.

When You Say ‘old Friend,’ Are We Talking, Like...since The Ice Age?” “no. Of Course Not.” “oh.” “it’s Only Been About Four Hundred Years.” “ah. Yes. Only Four Hundred.” A Wry Expression Spread Over His Face. “being With You Is A Continual Experiment In Perspective. Among Other Things.

I Looked At You... And Saw Your Goodness, Your Hope, And Your Faith. Those Are What Make You Beautiful. So, So Beautiful. So It Was't My Hair?

Then It's Settled," I Said. "we'll Do A Dream Conference Call." That Love And Rapture Faltered. "wait. How Is It Settled? How Did We Go From Me Declaring My Love For You To Me Being Okay With A Dream?" "it's Adrian Ivashkov Logic. Don't Try To Understand It. Just Roll With It.

About Time," Christian Said. "lissa And Adrian Get The Market Share On Worrying About You, But They're Not The Only Ones. And Someone Needs To Put Adrian In His Place, You Know. I Can't Do It All The Time." "thanks. It Kills Me To Say This, But I Missed You Too. No One's Sarcasm Compares To Yours In Russia.

Love In The Real World Doesn’t Usually Work Out The Way Stories Make Us Think It Should. We Don’t Always Get Fairy-tale Endings. People Split Up And Move On. Just Because You Love Someone Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Love Someone Else.” - Georgina To Brandy

Metaphors. This Was The Cost Of Making Out With An Artist.

We All Screw Up. Everyone Makes Mistakes. That’s What She Did. It Was Bad Judgment, That’s All. You Don’t Cut Off The People You Love For Mistakes Like That.

What Hope Is There?" I Asked. "if Even Angels Fall, What Hope Is There For The Rest Of Us?

My Muse Is An Ungrateful Harlot Who’s Abandoned Me To Actually Come Up With My Own Plots.

There Was No "me" In Alchemy. Well, Phonetically There Was, But That Wasn't The Point.

I Looked Around At Us All: Me In My Nightgown, Kiyo Bare-chested, Dorian In His Extravagant Robes, And Tim In His Native Getup. God, I Muttered, Standing Up, We All Look Like The Village People.

I've Lost Someone, Too; Someone I Loved. I Know How You Feel." - Does It Get Easier? "yes. But You'll Never Be The Same Again.

Sure," Said Adrian. "i Bet Going In There And Kicking Down The Door Will Change Their Minds. Take Rose With You, And You Guys'll Make A Really Good Impression.

He Shook His Head. “no. Because There's No One Else Out There Who Understands You Like I Do.” I Waited For More. “that's It? You're Not Going To Elaborate On What That Means?” Those Green Eyes Held Me. “i Don't Think I Need To.

I Felt My Heart Breaking All Over Again. Why? Why Had This Happened To Us? Why Was The Universe So Cruel?

He Shook His Head In Mock Sympathy. "i Tell You, Sage. Sometimes I Think I Am The One Who Needs To Take Out The Restraining Order On You.

For A Moment, I Was Captivated As I Studied Them Side By Side. My Mother: The Perfect Picture Of Guardian Excellence And Decorum. My Father: Always Capable Of Achieving His Goals, No Matter How Twisted The Means. Uneasily, I Began To Understand How I’d Inherited My Bizarre Personality.

Any Life Worth Living Is Going To Have Risks

Life Worth Living

Not Everything About Me Is Cute." "that's True, Some Things Are Cute. The Rest Are Sexy. Astonishing, Agonizingly Sexy. It's A Wonder I Can Get Anything Done At All, When All I Ever Think About Is The Way Your Lips Taste Or How Your Fingertips Feel On My Skin Or How Your Legs Are..." "adrian, Shut Up.

See? There It Is Again. My Flame In The Dark.

That's What Humanity Is: A Series Of Successes And Failures, A Testing Of One's Own Nature And Aptitude. Neither The Body Nor The Soul Can Sustain Such A State. Eventually It Consumes A Person

Feel Guilty. Mourn This. But Move On. Don't Let It Destroy You. Forgive Yourself.

Of Course I Can Climb It. I'm Practically A Progidy In Pe," I Pointed Out. "the Question Is, Can You, Mr Smoker?

‎she Didn't Understand What It Was Like To Be Filled With A Love So Strong That It Made Your Chest Ache—a Love You Could Only Feel And Not Express. Keeping Love Buried Was A Lot Like Keeping Anger Pent Up, I'd Learned. It Just Ate You Up Inside Until You Wanted To Scream Or Kick Something.

Ooh. Top Secret Angel Business, Huh? What’re You Going To Do? Dance On A Pinhead? Lobby For National Cute Puppy Day?

People Get Too Caught Up In What They Don't Have And Get Bogged Down As A Result. There's Joy In The Present. It's Important To Just Make The Most Of The These Moments We Have. Keep An Eye On The Future, But Don't Forget To Enjoy Now.

I'll Find You. There Is No Place In This World You Can Hide From Me. I'm Watching. Love, Dimitri

His Warmth Was All Around Me, As Was His Love, And Again, I Felt That Completeness. I Had That Missing Piece Of My Word Back. The Soul That Complemented Mine. My Match. My Equal. Not Only That, I Had My Life Back -my Own Life. I Would Protect Lissa, I Would Serve, But I Was Finally My Own Person.

You Are The Most Beautiful Creature I Have Ever Seen Walking This Earth. You Have No Clue Of How Beautiful You Are Or How Brightly You Shine.

You've Asked Me Out Tons Of Times." "not Really. I've Made Inappropriate Suggestions And Frequently Pushed For Nudity. But I've Never Asked You Out On A Real Date.

Her Eyes Flicked Over The Cards, Looked At Dimitri, Then Looked Back At The Cards. Her Expression Was Blank. "you Will Lose What You Value Most, So Treasure It While You Can." She Pointed To The Wheel Of Fortune Card. "the Wheel Is Turning, Always Turning.

Donʹt Worry Now About What You Canʹt Change. Rest When You Can So Youʹll Be Ready For Tomorrowʹs Battles

Maybe Everyone Else Thinks Your Aversion To Food Is Cute- But Not Me. I've Watched You Watch Jill. Here's Some Tough Love: You Will Never, Ever Have Her Body. Ever. It's Impossible. She's Moroi. You're Human. That's Biology. You Have A Great One, One That Most Humans Would Kill For- And You'd Look Even Better If You Put On A Little Weight. Five Pounds Would Be A Good Start. Hide The Ribs. Get A Bigger Bra Size

I Can't Wait Until This Show Gets On The Road," He Said. "you And Me Are Going To Have So Much Fun, Rose. Picking Out Curtains, Doing Each Other's Hair, Telling Ghost Stories..." The Reference To "ghost Stories" Hit A Little Closer To Home Than I Was Comfortable With. Not That Choosing Curtains Or Brushing Christian's Hair Was Much More Appealing.

If Victor Was Frightened By Dimitri's Threat, He Didn't Show It. His Jade Green Eyes Glanced Between The Two Of Us. "you Two Are A Match Made In Heaven. Or Somewhere.

I Used To Think You Were Weak And Just Didn't Fight Back ... But Now, Honestly, I Think You're Actually Pretty Tough. It Takes A Hell Of A Lot Of Strength To Not Complain And Lash Out.

By The Way, My Name's Rose Hathaway. I'm Seventeen Years Old, Training To Protect And Kill Vampires, In Love With A Completely Unsuitable Guy, And Have A Best Friend Whose Weird Magic Could Drive Her Crazy. Hey, No One Said High School Was Easy.

Since When Do We Even Play Games?” “since When Don’t We Play Games? Games Of Life, Games Of Death. Games Of Love, Of Hope, Of Chance, Of Despair, And Of All The Myriad Wonders In Between.” I Rolled My Eyes At The Newcomer. “hello, Carter.

It Turns Out Dimitri Had A Friend, Who Had A Friend, And Despite The Best Security In The Moroi World, We Managed To Get Into The Court's Prison Facilities.

Did You Know That It's A Lot Harder To Put Organs Back In The Body Than It Is To Get Them Out?

My Captivity With Dimitri. The Way His Mouth—so, So Warm, Despite His Cold Skin—had Kissed Mine. The Feel Of His Fangs Pressing Into My Neck And The Sweet Bliss That Followed... He Looked Exactly The Same Too, With That Chalky White Pallor And Red-ringed Eyes That So Conflicted With The Soft, Chin-length Brown Hair And Otherwise Gorgeous Lines Of His Face. He Even Had A Leather Duster On.

What's Going On?" He Asked, Looking From Face To Face. "i Was Having A Good Dream." "i Need You," Said Lissa. "i Hear That From Women A Lot," Said Adrian. Christian Made A Gagging Sound, But The Faintest Glimmer Of A Smile Crossed Eddie's Lips, Despite His Otherwise Tough Guardian-stance.

Maybe Under All That Guilt And Certainty That He Couldn't Love Again, He Still Wanted Me. I Would Have Liked To Have Found Out. But I Didn't Have The Time. Instead, I Punched Him.

I Do Usually Stay In The Fantasy/sci-fi Range, I Suppose, But It Has Many, Many Subgenres That I'd Love To Continue Exploring.

You Have An Interesting Set Of Morals," He Observed. "breaking Out Of Jail Is Okay. But Steal A Car, And You Sound Totally Outraged.

Guys Do Ridiculous Things For Love." Adrian Reached Into His Pocket And Held Up A Pack Of Cigarettes. "do You Know How Badly I Want One Of These Right Now? Yet I Suffer, Rose. All For You.

I Wanted Him. I Arched My Back, Fully Aware Of How Vulnerable That Made Me And That I Was Giving Him An Invitation. He Accepted It And Laid Me Back Against The Table, Bringing His Body Down On Top Of Mine. That Crushing Kiss Of His Moved From My Mouth To The Nape Of My Neck. He Pushed Down The Edge Of My Dress And The Bra Strap Underneath, Exposing My Shoulder And Giving His Lips More Skin To Conquer.

Well, She Was Talking To Me. That's Enough To Make Anyone Lose Their Temper. And I Accused Her Of Sleeping With My Dad Because He Was The Soundest Evolutionary Choice.

Rose Hathaway: "you See Something You Like?" Dimitri Belikov: "get Dressed.

Throughout History, People With New Ideas—who Think Differently And Try To Change Things—have Always Been Called Troublemakers.

Love Doesn’t Stop People From Betraying Each Other

I Lifted The Lid And Found A Piece Of Bread And Some Water—and A Rat That Quickly Darted Off The Tray. Talk About Adding Insult To Injury.

Insult To Injury

Dreams, Dreams. I Walk Them; I Live Them. I Delude Myself With Them. It's A Wonder I Can Spot Reality Anymore.

I'm Guessing Whatever 'ways' You Have In Mind Aren't Jill-appropriate Either." "put Your Books Away And I'll Show You.

We've Had To Deal With So Many Complications. We're Still Dealing With Them. And What Can We Do? Nothing - Well, Unless We Take Your Side's Point Of View And Make Deals With The Devil. But Why? Why Can't We Make Deals With God? People Do All The Time. 'god, If You Do This For Me, I Promise To Be Good.' Stuff Like That. Yeah, But I Don't See Any Contracts Like You Guys Have. No Hard Evidence That It Works. How Come We Can Only Get Things We Want By Being Bad? Why Can't We Get Them By Being Good?

That's Smart. Once Sonya's Able To Talk, We'll Need To Move." He Smiled. "sydney's Turning Into A Battle Mastermind." "hey, She's Not In Charge Here," I Teased. "she's Just A Soldier." "right." He Lightly Brushed His Fingers Against My Cheek. "sorry, Captain." "general," I Corrected, Catching My Breath At That Brief Touch.

Vampires. Honestly, They're Like Children Sometimes.

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