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I Felt Like Someone Had Ripped My Heart Out And Tossed It Across The Other Side Of The Room. There Was A Burning, Agonizing Pain In My Chest, And I Had No Idea How It Could Ever Be Filled. It Was One Thing To Accept That I Couldn't Have Dimitri. It Was Something Entirely Different To Realize Someone Else Could.

-Richelle Mead

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I Felt Like Someone

Richelle Mead

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I Felt Like Someone Had Ripped My Heart Out And Tossed It Across The Other Side Of The Room. There Was A Burning, Agonizing Pain In My Chest, And I Had No Idea How It Could Ever Be Filled. It Was One Thing To Accept That I Couldn't Have Dimitri. It Was Something Entirely Different To Realize Someone Else Could.

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Where Are We Going?" Asked Victor. "if I'm Allowed To Ask." I Squirmed Around In My Seat So That I Could Look Him In The Eye. "that's What You're Going To Tell Us. As Hard As It Is To Believe, We Didn't Do All That Just Because We Missed Your Pleasant Company." "that Is Hard To Believe.

A Ghostly Smile Flickered Across His Face. "if You Weren't So Psychotic, You'd Be Fun To Hang Around." "funny, I Feel That Way About You Too." He Didn't Say Anything Else, But The Smile Grew, And He Walked Away.

Dreams, Dreams. I Walk Them; I Live Them. I Delude Myself With Them. It's A Wonder I Can Spot Reality Anymore.

Don't Be Too Hasty," She Warned. "conserve Your Strength. If You're Too Eager To Fight The Undead, You May Find Yourselves Joining Them. Then You'd Never See Us Again, And We'd Be Very Sad." "yes," Said Christian. "i'd Cry Into My Pillow Every Night." I Resisted The Urge To Kick Him. "well, I Couldn't Visit If I Was Strigoi, Yeah, But Hopefully I'd Just Die A Normal Death. Then I Could Come See You As A Ghost.

It's Like Living In A Retirement Home! Clarence Is Taking A Nap Right Now, And He Eats At Five. It's So Boring." "you've Only Been Here For Two Days." "and That's Been More Than Enough. The Only Thing Keeping Me Alive Is That He Keeps A Hefty Supply Of Liquor On Hand. But At The Rate I'm Going, That'll Be Gone By The Weekend. Jesus Christ, I'm Climbing The Walls." His Eyes Fell On The Cross At My Neck. "oh. Sorry. No Offense To Jesus.

That Memory Made A Lump Form In My Throat As I Remembered His Face, Serious And Gorgeous, Those Brown Eyes Intense And Passionate As He Spoke Up For Me And Convinced The Others Of My Value.

Roza, My Self-control Is Ten Times Stronger Than Yours." I Opened My Eyes, Shifting To Look Into His. I Brushed His Hair Back And Smiled, Certain My Heart Would Expand And Expand Until There Was Nothing Left Of Me. "oh Yeah? That's Not The Impression I Just Got." "wait Until Next Time," He Warned. "i'll Do Things That'll Make You Lose Control Within Seconds.

For Every Bad Thing In Life, There Are More Good Things To Tip The Balance.

Maybe Under All That Guilt And Certainty That He Couldn't Love Again, He Still Wanted Me. I Would Have Liked To Have Found Out. But I Didn't Have The Time. Instead, I Punched Him.

Worry About Staying Alive First. Then Worry About How You're Going To Live.

Cool,” I Said. “you Can Im With The Council From Campus. Maybe You Can Command People To Do Your Homework.

Conversation Was Irrelevant. Only Pie Mattered.

Dimitri: "they Weren't Supposed To Let You In."rose: "yeah. Well, I Kind Of Found A Work-around."dimitri: "of Course You Did."- Dimitri Belikov And Rose Hathaway (spirit Bound)

You're New Here, Aren't You?" Rolan Asked. "rose Is Visiting. She's A Friend Of The Family." Viktoria Said. "ah," He Said. "now I Remember Hearing About You. I Had No Idea Such A Fierce Strigoi Killer Would Be So Beautiful." "it's Part Of The Job Description," I Said Dryly.

Rose, I Cheat At Cards And Buy Liquor For Minors. But I Would Never, Ever Force You Into Something You Don't Want.

Once When I Was Ninth Grade I Had To Write A Paper On A Poem. One Of The Lines Was"if Your Eyes Weren't Open You Wouldn't Know The Difference Between Dreaming And Waking' It Hadn't Meant Meant Much To Me At The Time. After All There'd Been A Guy In The Class That I Liked So How Could I Be Expected To Pay Attention To Literary Analysis? Now Three Year Later I Understand The Poem Perfectly.

Very Often The Things We Most Desire Come Only After Much Patience And Struggle.

Oh,” She Said. “you Can Rest Assured That I Will Kill Him. Mostly This Is To Emphasize What I Said Before: No More Time To Lounge Around And Decide With No Consequences. For Every Moment You Waste Deliberating Today, The Oak King Will Be In The Hands Of My Torturers, Experiencing The Most Excruciating Pain. Your Delay Extends That Agony.” “oh, Irony,” Murmured Dorian.

God, I Got Lucky. If I'd Hurt It, It Would Have Put Me Out Of Practice For A While.” Smiling, He Returned To His Chair. "i Know. You Kept Telling Me That While I Was Carrying You. You Were Very Upset.” "you...you Carried Me Here?” "after We Broke The Bench Apart And Freed Your Foot.” Man. I'd Missed Out On A Lot. The Only Thing Better Than Imagining Dimitri Carrying Me In His Arms Was Imagining Him Shirtless While Carrying Me In His Arms.

Really, Sage? A Date?” I Sighed. “yes, Adrian. A Date.” “a Real Date. Not, Like, Doing Homework Together,” He Added. “i Mean Like Where You Go Out To A Movie Or Something. And A Movie That’s Not Part Of A School Assignment. Or About Something Boring.” “a Real Date.

We Can Retreat And Retreat And Let Ourselves Get Backed Into Corners Forever,” She’d Said Once. “or We Can Go Out And Meet The Enemy At The Time And Place We Choose. Not Them.” Okay, Tasha, I Thought. Let’s See If Your Advice Gets Me Killed.

You Know I Love You, Right?” The Urge To Kiss Her Goodbye Was So Strong That I Almost Broke Our Rules. She Smiled, Beautiful And Golden In The Late Morning Light. “not As Much As I Love You.” “oh, Man. This Is My Dream Come True: Having An ‘i Love You More’ Debate. Here, I’ll Start. I Love You More. Your Turn.” Sydney Laughed And Opened The Door. “i’ve Taken Debate Classes. You’d Lose To My Logic.

Guys Do Ridiculous Things For Love." Adrian Reached Into His Pocket And Held Up A Pack Of Cigarettes. "do You Know How Badly I Want One Of These Right Now? Yet I Suffer, Rose. All For You.

Adrian Suddenly Made An Abrupt Turn Onto A Side Street We'd Nearly Driven Past. I Jerked Upright As He Clipped The Curb. "what Are You Doing? Think About Your Tires!

You Were Wrong. She Really Is The New General In Town." I Smiled Back, Hoping He Wasn't Aware Of My Body's Reaction To Us Standing So Close. "maybe. But, It's Okay. You Can Still Be Colonel." He Arched An Eyebrow. "oh? Did You Demote Yourself? Colonel's Right Below General. What's That Make You?" I Reached Into My Pocket And Triumphantly Flashed The Cr-v Keys I'd Swiped When We'd Come Back Inside. "the Driver," I Said.

This Is A Great Idea,” Said Trey. “you Kids Should Totaly Go See That Play. Make A Whole Day Of It. Grab Some Dinner And Hang Out At The Library Or Whatever It Is You Do For Fun.

I Couldn't Stop Staring At The Cave, Back Where Dimitri Was, Back Where Half Of My Soul Was.

How Was It That Adrian Ivashkov, Who Never Seemed To Take Anything Seriously Was The Only One Among These "responsible" People Who Paid Attention To Such Small Details? How Was He The Only One To Really Understand The Magnitude Of What I Was Feeling?

You Should Know Better.ʺ ʺiʹve Never Known Better,ʺ He Countered. ʺyou Should Know That.

It's A Fact That People Are Afraid Of What They Don't Understand. And Most Are Too Lazy Or Ignorant To Find Out More.

I Always Love It Whenever Rose Delivers One Of Her Witty One-liners—particularly When It’s A Completely Serious Situation. The Contrast Always Amuses Me, But Then, I’m Biased.

Itʹs Not Just The Dress Or The Hair. Itʹs You. Youʹre Beautiful. So Beautiful, It Hurts Me.ʺ

I Find Prostitutes Vastly Important.

I Looked Around At Us All: Me In My Nightgown, Kiyo Bare-chested, Dorian In His Extravagant Robes, And Tim In His Native Getup. God, I Muttered, Standing Up, We All Look Like The Village People.

I'll Find You. There Is No Place In This World You Can Hide From Me. I'm Watching. Love, Dimitri

I Have To Get Back There." I Said To Adrian. "into That Door." He Arched An Eyebrow. "what, Like Sneaking In? How Very Black Ops Of You. And Oh, You Know— Dangerous And Foolish." "i Know." I Said, Surprised At How Calm I Sounded As I Admitted That. "but I Have To Know Something, And This May Be My Only Chance." "then I'll Go With You In Case That Guy Comes Back," He Said With A Sigh. "never Let It Be Said Adrian Ivashkov Doesn't Help Damsels In Distress.

Nothing He Said Could Change What I Think Of You. I've Had My Mind Made Up About You For A Long Time... And It's All Good.

You Should've Just Gotten A Kids' Meal.” Adrian Told Me, Pointing To My Half-eaten Burger And Fries. “you Could've Saved Me A Lot Of Money. And Gotten A Toy.

Surely I Must Be A Princess In An Enchanted Sleep. Any Day Now, This Dream-no, Nightmare Would End, And I’d Get My Prince And Happy Ending.

How Do You Say Goodbye To Someone Who Isn't Exactly Gone.

Jailbait," He Declared, Leaping Up. "you're A Saint. A Goddess, Even.

I Was So Tired Of Being Told Reasonable, Practical Things Whenever Something Went Wrong With My Life.

Eddie Was Intensely Dedicated Too. Adrian Sometimes Called Him Mini-dimitri

We Can Be Together, Rose. Soon. We're Almost There. And Nothing Will Ever Keep Us Apart.

Plus, I Was About To Spend Six Weeks With Christian Ozera. He Was Sarcastic, Difficult, And Made Jokes About Everything. Actually, He Was A Lot Like Me. It Was Going To Be A Long Six Weeks.

Sometimes The Greatest Tests Of Our Strength Are Situations That Don't Seem So Obviously Dangerous. Sometimes Surviving Is The Hardest Thing Of All.

He Shook His Head. “no. Because There's No One Else Out There Who Understands You Like I Do.” I Waited For More. “that's It? You're Not Going To Elaborate On What That Means?” Those Green Eyes Held Me. “i Don't Think I Need To.

Taking A Deep Breathe, I Made One Of The Hardest Decisions Of My Life. I Walked Away.

Jerome Sighed And Set Down His Fork. "are You Still Doing That, Georgie? Don't I Suffer Enough Without Having To Endure The Humiliation Of A Succubus Who Moonlights As A Christmas Elf?" "you Always Said I Should Quit The Bookstore And Find Something Else To Do," I Reminded Him. "yes, But That Was Because I Thought You'd Go On To Do Something Respectable. Like Become A Stripper Or The Mayor's Mistress.

Eddie Became About One Percent Less Tense.

Is He Having A Party?" "dorian Is A Sociable King. He Likes Keeping People Around Him, Mostly So He Can Mock Them.

I Can't Wait Until This Show Gets On The Road," He Said. "you And Me Are Going To Have So Much Fun, Rose. Picking Out Curtains, Doing Each Other's Hair, Telling Ghost Stories..." The Reference To "ghost Stories" Hit A Little Closer To Home Than I Was Comfortable With. Not That Choosing Curtains Or Brushing Christian's Hair Was Much More Appealing.

You Have An Interesting Set Of Morals," He Observed. "breaking Out Of Jail Is Okay. But Steal A Car, And You Sound Totally Outraged.

You Want To Be An Alchemist So Badly? Don't Wait To React To The Immediate Problem. Plan Ahead. Look At The Big Picture And You Won't Ever Have To Deal With That Problem. Better To Save Yourself From A Major Catastrophe Than Drag Your Feet Over A Bunch Of Little Inconveniences.

It Was One Thing To Accept I Couldn't Have Dimitri. It Was Something Entirely Different To Realize Someone Else Could.

Just Because Things Don't Work Out, It Doesn't Mean There Aren't Other People You Can't Love. Love Is Too Big A Thing For You To Go Without It In Life.

Unbelievable," I Said. "first You Wanted To Hide Her Away To Keep You Alive. Now You Actually Want Her Out In The World To Use Her Compulsion For Your Own Psycho Plans.

He Smiled And Tapped My Nose. "two Thank-yous In As Many Days. I Don't Suppose I'll Get To See Any, Uh, Special Gratitude?" I Scoffed. "nope. You'll Just Have To Imagine It." He Gave Me A Half-hug And Released Me. "fair Enough. But I Have A Good Imagination.

Smiling, I Cut Across The Quadrangle Toward The Commons. I Felt Better About Life Than I Had In A Very Long Time. We Could Do This, Lissa And Me. We Could Do This Together.

I Like You Being The Sinner You Are. -adrian Ivashkov

The Question Was Which Spell Did I Make? Which Did I Have Time To Make? The Answer Was Eerily Simple. I Had Time To Make All Of Them.

I Know How Devastated You Must Be To Miss Me, But Leave A Message, And I'll Try To Ease Your Agony

What Was Love, Really? Flowers, Chocolate, And Poetry? Or Was It Something Else? Was It Being Able To Finish Someone's Jokes? Was It Having Absolute Faith That Someone Was There At Your Back? Was It Knowing Someone So Well That They Instantly Understood Why You Did The Things You Did—and Shared Those Same Beliefs?

That's What I Was Supposed To Say.

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I’d Said It Before And Meant It: Alive Or Undead, The Love Of My Life Was A Badass.

Love Of My Life

Hey Mason, Wipe That Drool Off You Face. If You're Going To Think About Me Naked, Do It On Your Own Time. -rose To Mason

Where Are The Dogs?" I Asked. "at Training," He Said. "i Have A Friend Who's An Expert Dog Trainer, And He's Giving Them Some Stealth Lessons. He Used To Work For A Local K-9 Unit." I Didn't Think It Was In The Chihuahua Genetic Code To Ever Be Stealthy.

You, Know I'm The Queen's Favorite Great Nephew, Well, Yeah I'm Her Only Great Nephew, But That's Not Important, I'd Still Be Her Favorite.

You Kill Me, Rose," He Said Melodramatically. "every Day Is Agony Without You. Empty. Alone. I Pine For You, Wondering If You're Even Still Alive.

He Leaned Closer To Me And Then Seemed Shocked As He Realized What He Was Doing. "why Would You Do That? Why Would You Do That For Me?

You Are An Exceptional, Talented, And Brilliant Young Woman. Do Not Ever Let Anyone Make You Feel Like You’re Less. Do Not Ever Let Anyone Make You Feel Invisible. Do Not Let Anyone—not Even A Teacher Who Constantly Sends You For Coffee—push You Around.

I Crossed My Arms Over My Chest. "are You Lost, Little Girl? The Elementary School's Over On West Campus." A Pink Flush Spread Over Her Cheeks. "don't You Ever Touch Me Again. You Screw With Me, I'll Screw You Right Back." Oh Man, What An Opening That Was.

Are You Some Kind Of Mutant Human? Like A Fire User? And I Use Mutant As A Compliment, You Know. I Wouldn’t Think Less Of You.

Compliments You

That’s The Last Time You’re Going To Kiss Me,” I Warned When It Ended. He Smiled Knowingly, And In His Eyes, I Could See His Own Memories Of That Night. “so You Say.

He Nodded Toward The Sub. "this Is Going To Be A Blow-off Day." I Dragged My Mind Away From Magical Intrigue. After Being Homeschooled For Most Of My Life, Some Parts Of The "normal" School World Was A Mystery. "what Does That Mean, Exactly." "usually Teacher Leave Subs A Lesson Plan, Telling Them What To Do. I Saw Ms. Terwilliger Left. It Said, 'distract Them.

You Know, Aunt Tasha Makes Jokes About How Youʹd Actually Be A Better Queen Than The Others, Except Sometimes . . . I Donʹt Think Sheʹs Joking.

Some Part Of You Will Always ... Fight To Cling To Life And Experience All It Has. That's Why You're So Reckless In The Things You Do. You Don't Hold Back Your Feelings, Your Passion, Your Anger. It Makes You Remarkable. It Makes You Dangerous

I Don't Believe In Soul Mates, Not Exactly. I Think It's Ridiculous To Think There's Only One Person Out There For Us. What If Your 'soul Mate' Lives In Zimbabwe? What If He Dies Young? I Also Think 'two Souls Becoming One' Is Ridiculous. You Need To Hold On To Yourself. But I Do Believe In Souls Being In Sync, Souls That Mirror Each Other.

Everyone Wanted What She Couldn't Have.

I Love Pity Parties. I Wish I'd Brought Hats.

I Don't Remember You Being This Reasonable Before, " Lissa Said. "it's Because Everyone Has Different Definitions Of 'reasonable. ' Mine's Just Misunderstood, That's All. " Christian's Voice Was Lofty. "i Think You Must Be Misunderstood A Lot, " She Laughed. His Eyes Held Hers, And The Smile On His Face Transformed Into Something Warmer And Softer. "well, I Hope This Isn't Misunderstood. Otherwise, I Might Get Punched. " Leaning Over, He Brought His Lips To Hers. Lissa Responded With No Hesitation Or Thought Whatsoever, Losing Herself In The Sweetness Of The Kiss.

Can't You Ever Get Off For Good Behavior?" "sure, If I Was Ever Good.

Hathaway!" Stan Barked, Coming From The Direction Of The Field. "nice Of You To Join Us. Get In There Now! You're Lucky You Aren't One Of The First Ones, " He Growled.people Were Even Making Bets About Whether You'd Show. " "really?" I Asked Cheerfully. "what Kind Of Odds Are There On That? Because I Can Still Change My Mind And Put Down My Own Bet. Make A Little Pocket Money.

Adrian Gave The Picture A Nod Of Approval Before Handing Me The Phone. "okay, Even I Can Admit That's Pretty Cute." I Found Myself Overanalyzing The Comment. What Had He Meant In Saying 'even He' Could Admit It? That I Was Cute For A Human? Or That I Had Just Met Some Kind Of Adrian Hot-girl Criteria?

Okay,' I Said Quietly. 'i'll Do Whatever You Say. Just Remember Not To Talk Down To Me. I'm Not Your Student Anymore. I'm Your Equal Now.' He Glanced Away From The Side Of The Road Just Long Enough To Give Me A Surprised Look. 'you've Always Been My Equal, Roza.

It Was The Most Convulted, Ridiculous Piece Of Logic I'd Heard In Awhile... It Was Something I Would Have Come Up With.

And Here I Thought You Had A Soft Spot For Reckless Young Girls.

And Than Suddenly He Was There, Charging Down The Hallway Like Death In A Cowboy Duster.

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Carter Leaned Toward Me And Brushed The Hair Away From The Side Of My Face. "don't Look Down Then," He Whispered.

He Was Almost Naked Too, But I Hadn't Quite Gotten To His Boxers Yet. (they Were Silk Because, Honestly What Else Would Adrian Wear?)

Seth Was A Wonderful Kisser. He Gave The Kind Of Kisses That Melted Into Your Mouth And Filled You With Sweetness. They Were Like Cotton Candy.

I Tried To Dredge Up The Same Reaction Other Girls Had Around Marcus, But Nothing Happened. No Matter How Hard I Tried, I Just Didn't Have That Same Attraction His Hair Was Too Blond, I Decided. And His Eyes Needed A Little More Green.

This Is Insane," I Said Blankly. "i'm The Instrument Of An All-powerful Primordial Deity's Wave Of Chaos And Destruction." "that's Kind Of Extreme" Said Dante Jovially. "it's Not Like You Work For Google Or Anything.

Didn’t Understand Love? Was She Crazy? If She Only Knew What I’d Sacrificed For Dimitri, What I’d Done To Be Where I Was Now . . . All For Love. She Was The One Who Couldn’t Understand. Love Wasn’t A Fling In A Back Room At A Party. It Was Something You Lived And Died For.

Yeah? Can You Draw A Skeleton Riding A Motorcycle With Flames Coming Out Of It? And I Want A Pirate Hat On The Skeleton. And A Parrot On His Shoulder. A Skeleton Parrot. Or Maybe A Ninja Skeleton Parrot? No, That Would Be Overkill. But It'd Be Cool If The Biker Skeleton Could Be Shooting Some Ninja Throwing Stars. That Are On Fire.

Rosemarie You Are Out Of Line

But What Are Loyalty And Caring Really Worth?" "to Me? Everything.

You're Burned Into My Mind Forever. There Is Nothing, Nothing In This World That Will Ever Change That." And It Was Memories Like That That Made It So Hard To Comprehend This Quest To Kill Him, Even If He Was A Strigoi. Yet...at The Same Time I Had To Destroy Him. I Needed To Remember Him As The Man Who'd Loved Me And Held Me In Bed. I Needed To Remember That That Man Would Not Want To Stay A Monster.

Nothing Happened Here, Okay? None Of This Did.” His Eyebrows Rose. “really? Because I Could Have Sworn That Something Happened When My Hand Was Between Your—” “no!” - Dorian And Eugenie

We Take Everything For Granted, But When I'm With Angeline, I See The World Through New Eyes. She Makes My World Better. It's Why She's So Great.

Adrian Suddenly Glanced Up At Me. Our Gazes Locked, And I Felt Like He Could Read My Mind. How Often Did He Think About That Kiss? And If He Really Was Crazy About Me, Did He Imagine More Than Just Kissing? Did He Fantasize About Me? What Kinds Of Things Did He Think About? His Lips On My Neck? His Hand On My Leg? And Was That Leg Bare . . . ?

Keeping Love Buried Was A Lot Like Jeeping Anger Pent Up, I'd Learned. It Just Ate You Up Insides Until You Wanted To Scream Or Kick Something.

You Destroy My Life Then Feed Me Inspirational Philosophy.

You…you Need To Move On,” I Managed. Yes, That Was A Sound Reason. “you Need To Find Someone Else. You Know I Don’t—that I Can’t. Well, You Know. You’re Wasting Your Time With Me.” He Remained Firm. “it’s My Time To Waste.

If You'd Teach Me To Swear In Russian, I Might Have A New Appreciation For It

The Answer Came To Me Before I'd Even Finished Asking Myself The Question. I Couldn't Be Mason's Girlfriend Because When I Imagined Someone Holding Me And Whispering Dirty Things In My Ear, He Had A Russian Accent.

Do You Think I'm Pretty? I Think You're Beautiful Beautiful? You Are So Beautiful, It Hurts Sometimes.

She Stared At Me With Concern A Few Moments Longer And Then Relaxed A Little. "okay. But If You Need Anything—" "i Know, I Know. Call On The Love Phone.

I Bet You Never Thought The Hardest Part Of Finding Your ‘saviorʹ Would Be Getting Her Mom To Let Her Stay Out Past Curfew.

Well, If The Excitement's Over, I Think I'll Take A Bath.' 'wow. The Harsh Lifestyle Of A Succubus. I Wish I Had Your Job.' 'hey, Our Side's Always Recruiting. You Might Need To Be A Little Prettier To Be An Incubus, Though. And A Little More Charming.' 'untrue. Mortal Women Go For Jerks. I See It All The Time.' 'touché.

Shouldn't That Be Flipped Right-side Up?" I Asked. "no," She Said, Eyes On The Cards. After Several Moments Of Heavy Silence, Said, "you Will Destroy That Which Is Undead." I Waited About Thirty Seconds For Her To Continue, But She Didn't. "wait, That's It?" She Nodded. "that's What The Cards Say To Me.

ʺwho′s A Spirit User?ʺ Said Robert. ʺformer Spirit User,ʺ Said Victor, ʺshe Became A Strigoi To Get Away From It.ʺ ʺyes . . . Always A Lure To That . . . Kill To Live, Live To Kill. Immortality And Freedom From These Chains, But Oh, What A Loss . . .ʺ Said Robert.

So Far I’m Not Seeing A Lot Of Difference Between Me And A Carnival Con-man.

She Didnʹt Know If She Could Carry On By Herself, But Then, She Realized That If This Wasnʹt A Dream—and Dear God, Did It Feel Real—there Was No Magic ʺstopʺ In Real Life. If She Couldnʹt Deal With Loneliness In A Dream, She Never Would Be Able To While Waking.

But When The Other End Of The Line Picked Up, It Was His Voicemail That Answered, Not The Man Himself. "i Know How Devastated You Must Be To Miss Me," His Cheery Voice Said, "but Leave A Message, And I'll Try To Ease Your Agony As Soon As Possible.

Adrian Stood There Leaning Against The Doorframe, Watching Me With His Heart In His Eyes. In My Chest, My Own Heart Was Breaking. On My Cheek, The Lily Reminded Me Who I Was.

You're Not As Much Of A Lost Cause As She Was. I Mean, With Her, I Had To Overcome Her Deep, Epic Love With A Russian Warlord. You And I Just Have To Overcome Hundreds Of Years' Worth Of Deeply Ingrained Prejudice And Taboo Between Our Two Races. Easy.

Setting Out Around Midnight, I Couldn't Help Shaking My Head, "we're The Goddamned Hottest Vampire Hunters Ever." I Muttered.

The Guardians Wouldn't Abandon The Last Dragomir. And I Wouldn't Have Abandoned Lissa Even If There Were A Million Dragomirs.

You Were Totally Unprepared For Her.” “that's For Damned Sure.

Avery Worries About Her, Too, So Lissa's In Good Hands. Avery's Pretty Amazing." I Gave Him A Scathing Look. "amazing? Do You Like Her Or Something?" I Hadn't Forgotten Avery's Comment About Leaving The Door Unlocked For Him. "of Course I Like Her. She's A Great Person." "no, I Mean Like. Not Like." "oh, I See," He Said, Rolling His Eyes. "we're Dealing With Elementary School Definitions Of 'like'.

At Long Last, She Gasped Out, "it’s Seth." "what Happened?" I Demanded. "is He Okay?" "he Ended It." Her Crying Renewed. "he Broke The Engagement And Told Me It Was Over.

I Can Pick A Lock. How Do You Think I Got Into My Parents' Liquor Cabinet In Middle School?

Adrian, I'm On A Date. Why Are You Here? On My Car?

"well, I'm Supposed To Be Crazy, Right?" [...] "and There Isn't Much I Wouldn't Do For You. The Stupider, The Better."

Knowing I Wasn't Going Anywhere, I Frantically Searched For Some Way To Help Her. A Dark Figure Caught My Eye. "christian!" I Yelled. He'd Been Staring At Lissa's Retreating Figure But Glanced Up At The Sound Of His Name. One Of My Escorts Shushed Me And Took My Arm. "be Quiet." I Ignored Her. "go After Her," I Called To Christian. "hurry." He Just Sat There, And I Suppressed A Groan. "go, You Idiot!" My Guardians Snapped At Me To Be Quiet Again, But Something Inside Of Christian Woke Up. Springing Up From His Lounging Position, He Tore Off In The Direction Lissa Had Traveled.

I'm Always At Least Ten Minutes Early.

Because It Gives Him And Excuse To Be Around Her--without Making It Look Like He Gave In First. That Way, He Can Still Seem Manly." "that's Ridiculous." Especially The Part About Christian Being Manly. "guys Do Ridiculous Things For Love.

What?" I Asked Uneasily. "why Are You Looking At Me Like That?" He Shook His Head, The Smile Rueful Now. "because Sometimes, A Person Can Get So Caught Up In The Details That They Miss The Whole. It's Not Just The Dress Or The Hair. It's You. You're Beautiful. So Beautiful, It Hurts Me.

We've Had To Deal With So Many Complications. We're Still Dealing With Them. And What Can We Do? Nothing - Well, Unless We Take Your Side's Point Of View And Make Deals With The Devil. But Why? Why Can't We Make Deals With God? People Do All The Time. 'god, If You Do This For Me, I Promise To Be Good.' Stuff Like That. Yeah, But I Don't See Any Contracts Like You Guys Have. No Hard Evidence That It Works. How Come We Can Only Get Things We Want By Being Bad? Why Can't We Get Them By Being Good?

Dorian Used To Watch You Like A Starving Man Who Wants Meat. Now He Looks At You Like He Wants Seconds.

He Watched As I Slipped One Of The Shoes On. "you Have A Guardian Angel." "i Don't Believe In Angels," I Told Him. "i Believe In What I Can Do For Myself." Well Then, You Have An Amazing Body." I Glanced Up At Him With A Questioning Look. "for Healing, I Mean. I Heard About The Accident.

Can We Go Back To The Part About Moroi Girls Hanging Out In La?" Asked Adrian Hopefully. "can You Direct Me To Some Of The…oh, Let’s Say, More Open-minded Ones?

I Didn’t Care About Anything Except Her And The Way Touching Her Drove Me Wild, Even As Her Calm And Steady Presence Soothed The Storms That Raged Within Me.

You And I Have Never Liked Each Other, Rose. If I’ve Got To Kill Someone, It Might As Well Be You.

Yeah According To My- Hey, Are You Staring At My Chest? -rose To Adrian

I Steeled Myself For The Next Response. I Knew It Was Going To Be One Of The Zen Life Lessons. [...] Instead He Kissed Me.

Kill Me, Doug. Just Kill Me Now. Put Me Out Of My Misery.” “christ, Kincaid, What Did You Say To Him?” Murmured Doug. “well,” I Told Doug, “i Ripped On His Fans And On How Long It Takes For His Books To Come Out.” Doug Stared At Me, His Expectations Exceeded. “then I Said—not Knowing Who He Was—that I’d Be Seth Mortensen’s Love Slave In Exchange For Advanced Copies Of His Books.

For A Moment, I Was Captivated As I Studied Them Side By Side. My Mother: The Perfect Picture Of Guardian Excellence And Decorum. My Father: Always Capable Of Achieving His Goals, No Matter How Twisted The Means. Uneasily, I Began To Understand How I’d Inherited My Bizarre Personality.

It Had To Be One Of The Weirdest Things In The Universe That Lissa Had Never Come Close To Suspecting My Feelings For Dimitri But That Adrian Had Figured It Out.

We Can Take Her. Besides, He Deserves Someone Who Doesn't Shop At Gap Kids. -rose To Lissa On Mia And Aaron

Also, I Didn’t Trust Any Guy Who Used More Styling Products Than I Did.

The World Of The Dead Wonʹt Give You Up A Second Time.

Don't Cut It," He Said Gruffly. "but No One'll See My Tattoos If I Don't." "wear It Up." -dimitri, Rose, Dimitri

Staring Into The Mirror, I Was Surprised To See A Haunted Look In My Brown Eyes. There Was Pain There, Pain And Loss That Even The Nicest Dress And Makeup Couldn't Hide.

My Life Didnʹt Need To Be On The Line For Me To Enjoy Dessert.

Wine's Terrible For Babies." Dorian Swept Into The Sitting Room To Join Me, Elegantly Arranging Himself On A Love Seat That Displayed His Purple Velvet Robes To Best Effect. "well Of Course It Is. I'd Never Dream Of Giving Wine To An Infant! What Do You Take Me For, A Barbarian? But For You... Well, It Might Go A Long Way To Make You A Little Less Jumpy. You've Been Positively Unbearable To Live Around. "i Can't Have It Either. It Affects The Babies In Utero.

Being With Him After So Long, After Everything We'd Endured...it Was Like Coming Home.

Her Eyes Flicked Over The Cards, Looked At Dimitri, Then Looked Back At The Cards. Her Expression Was Blank. "you Will Lose What You Value Most, So Treasure It While You Can." She Pointed To The Wheel Of Fortune Card. "the Wheel Is Turning, Always Turning.

His Eyes, I’d Long Since Discovered, Could Be As Eloquent And Expressive As His Pen. The Messages They Sent Me Now Hardly Seemed Decent For A Public Setting.

What’s Going On?” He Demanded. “the Usual, Old Man,” I Replied Cheerily. “danger, Insane Plans... You Know, The Stuff That Runs In Our Family.

But What I Found Most Interesting Was That Aaron Had Apparently Found A Way To Pass The Time Without Her. Beside Him, Holding His Hand, Was A Moroi Girl Who Looked About Eleven But Had To Be Older, Unless He'd Become A Pedophile During Our Absence.

He Anxiously Touched His Hair. "i Think My Hair Gel's Frozen.

The Incident With Dawn Hadn't Been One Of My Finer Moments. I Honestly Hadn't Expected To Break Any Bones When I Shoved Her Into A Tree. Still, The Incident Had Given Me A Dangerous Reputation. The Story Had Gained Legendary Status, And I Liked To Imagine That It Was Still Being Told Around Campfires Late At Night. Judging By The Look On The Girl's Face, It Was.

By The Way, My Name's Rose Hathaway. I'm Seventeen Years Old, Training To Protect And Kill Vampires, In Love With A Completely Unsuitable Guy, And Have A Best Friend Whose Weird Magic Could Drive Her Crazy. Hey, No One Said High School Was Easy.

I Sat There For Several Moments, Trying To Decide How Best I Should Respond. None Of The Advice I'd Gotten From The Books Or My Friends Really Prepared Me For How To Handle Discussions About Alternative Energy Sources. One Of The Books - One I'd Chosen Not To Finish - Had A Decidedly Male-centric View That Said Women Should Always Make Men Feel Important On Dates. I Suspected That Kristin And Julia's Advice Right Now Would Have Been To Laugh And Toss My Hair - And Not Let The Discussion Progress. But I Just Couldn't Do That. "you're Wrong," I Said.

All We Can Go On Is What We Think, How We See The World. If You Can't Trust Your Own Mind What Can You Trust?

You Said You Were A Victim. That's Why...that's Why Ultimately, You And I Aren't Matched For Each Other. In Spite Of Everything That's Happened, I've Never Though Of Myself That Way. Being A Victim Means You're Powerless. That You Won't Take Action. Always...always I've Done Something To Fight For Myself...for Others. No Matter What.

Sage," He Said. "what Are You Wearing?" I Sighed And Stared Down At The Dress. "i Know. It's Red. Don't Start. I'm Tired Of Hearing About It." "funny," He Said. "i Don't Think I Could Ever Get Tired Of Looking At It.

Propriety's Never Been Adrian's Strong Suit.

I Know I’m Not Supposed To Say This, But I Love You.

I’d Seen Him Fight Before, But It Never Got Old. He Was Captivating. He Never Stopped Moving. Every Action Was Graceful And Lethal. He Was A Dancer Of Death.

Adrian!you Used Compulsion On That Guy. That.... I Mean, It's....." "awesome?yeah,i Know

Do You Want Me To Call You Celery Stick Instead Of Cupcake Or Honey-pie? It Just Doesn’t Inspire The Same Warm And Fuzzy Feelings.

What Were You Thinking?" I Demanded Once We Were Moving To The Music. I Was Trying To Ignore His Hands. "do You Know How Much Trouble You May Have Gotten Me In?" Adrian Grinned. "nah. They All Feel Bad For You. You'll Achieve Martyrdom After Dancing With A Mean, Wicked Vampire. Job Security With The Alchemists.

Trey Scoffed. "between You And Me, Brayden's Probably The Last Guy In The World You Have To Worry About. I Think He's As Clueless As You Are. If I Didn't Care About Your Virtue So Much, I'd Actually Probably Give Him A Lecture On 'how' To Try Something." -trey, Pg. 70

Sydney Sighed And Stood Up, Smoothing Her Rumpled Clothes With Dismay. ʺi Need A Coffee Shop Or Something.ʺ ʺi Think I Saw One In A Cave Down The Road,ʺ I Said. That Almost Got A Smile From Her

Are You Crazy?" I Asked. He Gave Me The Same Wordless Look He Always Did When I Asked That Question.

What About You, Sage? I Know We Don't Have To Worry About You Violating The Dress Code. Did You Have Fun At Your Alchemist Spa This Weekend?

Moroi Shied From The Sunlight But As I Watched Sydney, I Knew Without A Doubt That Humans Had Been Made For The Sun.

The Love We'd Shared Always Burned Within Me, No Matter How Often I Told Myself To Move On, No Matter How Much The World Did Think I'd Moved On.

Mmm. O Positive, My Favorite.

It's Not My Fault So Much As My Genius.

I Hadn't Gotten Far When I Ran Into Mason. Good God. Men Everywhere.

I Didn't Just Get An Idea. I Got A Great Idea.

What If Following Her Heart Means Rose Could Lose Her Best Friend Forever?

What’s Wrong?” Asked Seth, Seeing My Frown. “that New Drummer. Alec. He Hit On Me Earlier, And Now He’s Moving In On Casey. I Think He’s One Of Those Guys Who Thinks Plying Girls With Liquor Is The Only Way To Get Laid.” “wait. I Thought I Was The Only Guy Who Knew That Secret.

Well, You've Finally Got A License To Kill. It's About Time.

The Three Cards Were The Moon, The Empress, And The Ace Of Cups. Ambrose Leaned Over My Shoulder To Peer At The Cards. "ooh,' He Said. "very Interesting." Rhonda Glanced Up At Him. "hush. You Don't Know What You're Talking About.

Most Good Things Come With The Risk Of Something Bad.

It Was Nice To See Someone Who Appreciated Her For Her Character, No Matter How Disgusted Christian Was By The Idea Of Anyone Dating His Aunt. And I Actually Kind Of Liked Seeing Christian So Obviously Tormented. It Was Good For Him.

I'd Never Expected My First Time To Be In A Cabin In The Woods, But I Realized The Place Didn't Matter. The Person Did. With Someone You Loved, You Could Be Anywhere, And It Would Be Incredible. Being In The Most Luxurious Bed In The World Wouldn't Matter If You Were With Someone You Didn't Love.

I Want Her To Be Happy. It's Worth Sacrificing Myself.

If He Wants To Tell You, He'll Tell You. End Of Story, Rose. Besides, You Certainly Keep Your Share Of Secrets Too. You Two Have A Lot In Common." "are You Kidding? He's Arrogant, Sarcastic, Likes To Intimidate People, And—oh." Okay. Maybe She Had A Point.

Please Don’t Get Sentimental,” Said Jerome. “it’s Nauseating.

I Don’t Know How You Do It. You Aren’t Even Blond. I Mean, Maybe A Little, But Mostly You’re A Brunette. I Just Don’t See Guys Going For That.” “yeah, Well, Some People Are Into Kinky Stuff, I Guess.

Can't You... I Don't. Find A Hobby Or Something?" "being Charming Is My Hobby.

Meant To Be Alone

Why On Earth Would You Buy A Car Like This If You Can't Drive A Stick? There Are Dozens Of Cars--new Cars--that Have Automatic Transmission. It'd Be A Million Times Easier." Adrian Shrugged. "i Like The Color. It Matches My Living Room.

Vampire Academy: Rose- See Something You Like? Dimitri- Get Dressed. Last Sacrifice: Rose- See Something You Like? Dimitri- Lots

It Doesn’t Matter,” Said Adrian, Smiling. He Rested A Hand On My Shoulder. “some Things Are Worth The Trouble.

How Is Angeline?” Asked Dimitri. “is She Improving?” Eddie And I Exchanged Glances. So Much For Avoiding Her Indiscretions. “improving How Exactly?” I Asked. “in Combat, In Following The Dress Code, Or In Keeping Her Hands To Herself?” “or In Turning Off Caps-lock?” Added Eddie. “you Noticed That Too?” I Asked. “hard Not To,” He Said.

My Nails Dug Into His Back, And He Trailed His Lips Down The Edge Of My Chin, Down The Center Of My Neck. He Kept Going Until He Reached The Bottom Of The Dress’s V-neck. I Let Out A Small Gasp, And He Kissed All Around The Neckline, Just Enough To Tease.

Piece Of Heaven?" "no, That Other Place I'm Going To Go To For Thinking What I'm Thinking.

Hey, Volusian, You Haven't Been Checking Me Out, Have You?" He Gave Me His Trademark Bland Stare. "i Assure You, Mistress, The Only Allure Your Bare Flesh Has For Me Is To Remind Me How Easy It Will Be To Slice Open." I Laughed. If Not For The Fact He Was Actually Serious, He'd Be So Much Fun.

I Want Your Opinion.ʺ ʺthat,ʺ Adrian Said, ʺis Not Something I Hear A Lot.ʺ

Love Is . . .” An Old Memory With Adrian Came Back To Me, And Some Of The Turbulent Emotion I Always Carried Within Me These Days Welled Up In My Chest. It Was Stupid, Feeling So Lovesick When He’d Been Gone Less Than A Day, But I Couldn’t Get Him Or The Ways He Described Love Out Of My Head. “. . . A Flame In The Dark. A Breath Of Warmth On A Winter’s Night. A Star That Guides You Home.

I'd Accepted A While Ago That There Were Too Many Reasons For Me To Even Think About Him Romantically Anymore. Every Once In A While, I Slipped A Little And Kind Of Wished He Would Too. It'd Have Been Nice To Know That He Still Wanted Me, That I Still Drove Him Crazy. Studying Him Now, I Realized He Might Not Ever Slip Because I Didn't Drive Him Crazy Anymore. It Was A Depressing Thought.

You've Always Been My Equal, Roza.

I Know How You Guys Feel About Us. I'm Not Stupid, And Believe Me, I've Tried To Get You Out Of My Head. But There Isn't Enough Liquor Or Art Or Any Other Distraction In The World To Do It. I Had To Stop Going To Wolfe's Because It Was Too Hard Being That Close To You, Even If It Was All Just Pretend Fighting. I Couldn't Stand The Touching. It Was Agonizing Because It Meant Something To Me－and I Knew It Meant Nothing To You. I Kept Telling Myself To Stay Away Altogether, And Then I'd Find Excuses… Like The Car… Anything To Be Around You Again.

Did You Follow Me From The Party?" "yes" "i Didn't Even Know You Were There." His Dark Clothes Indicated He Must Have Been On Guardian Duty At The Party. "so You Saw The Illustrious Janine Cause A Commotion By Dragging Me Out." "it Wasn't A Commotion. Hardly Anyone Noticed. I Saw Because I Was Watching You.

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