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I Believe The Fast Track To Atheism Is Reading The Bible. I've Read It Three Times All The Way Through. It's A Big Part Of Our Culture, A Big Part Of Our History. I Don't Just Read Things I Agree With.

-Penn Jillette

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I Believe The Fast

Penn Jillette

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I Believe The Fast Track To Atheism Is Reading The Bible. I've Read It Three Times All The Way Through. It's A Big Part Of Our Culture, A Big Part Of Our History. I Don't Just Read Things I Agree With.

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The Cliche Of The Nerdy Kid Who Doesn't Go Outside And Just Plays Games Is Completely Untrue. And It's Also True For The Nerdy Kid Who Studies Comic Books And Turns Into This Genius, And It Is Also True For The Nerdy Kid Who Listens To Every Nerdy Thing That Led Zeppelin Put Out. That Kind Of Obsession In A 16-year-old Is Not Ugly. It's Beautiful.

I Intend To Do The Penn & Teller Show Until They Pry My Cheesy Magic Wand From My Cold Dead Fingers.

I've Always Wanted To Make The World A More Rational Place. I'm Still Working On It.

I Never Wanted To Be A Magician. I Never Wanted To Be A Comedian. I Never Wanted To Be Onstage.

There Never Was A God. 'god Is Dead' Is A Halfway Measure I Won't Go With.

I Think One Of The Things About Donald Trump That's Interesting Is He Lives In A Rarified Atmosphere Where It's Possible That He Doesn't Get Enough Feedback, Enough People Rolling Their Eyes At Him. It's A Danger More In Show Business Than It Is With Wealth.

I Love Nuts. I'm For Nuts. I Am Nuts.

Before You Can Read, You Know The Difference Between A Story And Reality. And, Of Course, By The Time You're Old Enough To Do Any Real Damage With An Uzi, You've Learned That Difference.

I Had E-mail In 1984! I Had An E-mail Address Then, Which Means That All You Could Write To Was Steve Jobs And Bill Gates. There Were Three Of Us, Writing To Each Other.

Exploration Of Space Is Worth It Because Humans Need To Explore. Knowledge Is Always Good, And It's A Really Cool Thing To See.

I Have More Contact With People Who Consume, For Lack Of A Better Word, My Product Than Any Other Performers.

Everyone's Goals Are The Same With Very Small Differences. I Mean, The Goal Of A Socialist And The Goal Of A Libertarian Are Exactly The Same. The Goals Are Happiness And Security And Freedom, And You Balance Those.

Security And Freedom

Fear Is The Politicians Dance Partner.

The Whole World Is Pretending The Breakthrough Is In Technology. The Bottleneck Is Really In Art.

You Have In Vegas The Most Heterogeneous Audience You're Gonna Get Anywhere In The Country. In Boston, Chicago, Miami, You Know Who Goes To The Theater. In Vegas, You Have People Who Only See One Theater Show A Year, And It's In Vegas.

In My Private Life, I'm Not Around Any Drugs Or Alcohol.

When I Was 15, 16, 17 Years Old, I Spent Five Hours A Day Juggling, And I Probably Spent Six Hours A Day Seriously Listening To Music. And If I Were 16 Now, I Would Put That Time Into Playing Video Games.

Having A Hummer Is Stupid. It's Stupid To Waste That Much Gas. It's Stupid To Waste That Much Money On Gas. It's Stupid To Parade Your Insecurities On Public Roads. Hummers Are Stupid-looking.

I Came To Magic Absolutely Hating Magic On A Very, Very Deep Level.

There Is This Tremendous Amount Of Arrogance And Hubris, Where Somebody Can Look At Something For Five Minutes And Dismiss It. Whether You Talk About Gaming Or 20th Century Classical Music, You Can't Do It In Five Minutes. You Can't Listen To 'the Rite Of Spring' Once And Understand What Stravinsky Was All About.

I Didn't Learn Fire-eating To Conquer My Fears. I Learned Fire-eating Because I Desperately Wanted To Be In Show Business.

For The Most Part, Any Serious Magic Show Is Not Using Very Much Technology Newer Than Theatrical Lights.

I Do Believe That A Belief In God Is Crazy, But That Doesn't Mean That The People Who Believe In It Are Crazy. Those Are Two Different Things. Ideas Can Be Stupid And Crazy, And The People Who Hold Those Ideas Are Not Necessarily Stupid And Crazy.

'psycho' Is Fascinating Philosophically, Because The Point Of 'psycho' Is That Everything That's Bad Happens Because Of Love.

Thou Shalt Not Take Anything On Faith

Never Ascribe To Conspiracy That Which Can Be Attributed To Ignorance.

That Whole 99% Thing, They Are All In The 1% Of The World. Every One Of Them Pays A Cellphone Bill That Is The Yearly Income For A Family In Much Of The Rest Of The World.

I Don't Believe In Vengeance. Really, When All Is Said And Done, I Probably Don't Believe In Punishment.

Poker Has The Feeling Of A Sport, But You Don't Have To Do Push-ups.

'celebrity Apprentice' Has More Integrity And Is The Most Straightforward Show I've Ever Seen.

Straightforward

Two Things Have Always Been True About Human Beings. One, The World Is Always Getting Better. Two, The People Living At That Time Think It's Getting Worse.

My Whole Family Is Missing That Sports Gene. I Hope I Didn't Screw That Up By Marrying A Great Golfer.

Love And Respect All People. Hate And Destroy All Faith.

Love And Respect

I Don't Think I'm Made Of The Right Stuff To Be A Politician. I Think I'm Made To Be A Loose Cannon.

The Fact Is That Violence Gives You A Rush.

A Joke Is A Way To Say, 'i'm Going To Do Something Funny Now. If I Don't Get A Laugh At The End, I'm A Failure.'

I've Voted Libertarian As Long As I Can Remember, But I Don't Really Remember Much Before The Clintons And The Bushes. Those Clans Made A Lot Of Us Bugnutty.

I Have A Very Specific Definition Of Censorship. Censorship Must Be Done By The Government Or It's Not Censorship.

'christian' Used To Be A Throwaway Word. People Didn't Used To Use It Much. People Didn't Start Self-labeling Or Getting Labeled Christian Until The Last Part Of The 20th Century. Before That, You Might Identify As A Baptist, Or A Southern Baptist Or A Methodist. But There Wasn't One Identifier That Put You In A Fold With All The Other Believers.

Don't Waste Too Much Time Wishing, Hoping, And Being Envious; It'll Make You Bugnutty.

Technology Is Run By Sex, Because It's Very Important To People, Both Technology And Sex.

How I Was Brought Up And My Imaginary Friend Means More To Me Than Anything You Can Ever Say Or Do.

Imaginary Friend

My Parents Were Teetotalers And My Grandparents Were - It's All The Way Back. It's New English Puritanical Tradition.

You Have Two Choices With Obama. You Either Believe That He Is A Man Of Christ... Or You Think He's A Liar. And I'm Surprised By The Number Of Atheist Free Thinkers That Support Obama, And Their Argument Is Essentially, 'he's Lying About Being Religious 'cause You Have To Do That To Get Elected.' It's A Horrible Reason To Like Somebody.

Tv Networks Are Dying. The Death Throes Of Religion Give Us Jihads. The Death Throes Of Television Give Us Reality Shows.

I, My Own Damn Self, Am Not A Tea Party Supporter. I Disagree With Them On Social Liberties, Our Overseas Wars, Obama's Birthplace, Sarah Palin, And The Conspicuous Absence Of Tea At Their Rallies.

Luck Is Statistics Taken Personally.

Part Of The Experience Of Being Entertained Is Sitting Back And Plugging Into Someone Else's Vision.

A Lot Of People, To Attack An Outspoken Atheist, One Of The Things They'll Do Is Say, 'you Are As Bad As The Fundamentalist Christians.' And My Answer Is Always, 'i Hope So.'

I Mean, If I Believed, Beyond The Shadow Of A Doubt, That A Truck Was Coming At You, And You Didn’t Believe That Truck Was Bearing Down On You, There Is A Certain Point Where I Tackle You. And This Is More Important Than That.

Every Nut Who Kills People Has A Bible Lying Around.

If The Bible Were Published As Fiction, No Reviewer Would Give It A Passing Grade. There Are Some Vivid Scenes And Quotable Phrases But There's No Plot, No Structure, A Tremendous Amount Of Filler And The Characters Are Painfully One Dimensional. Whatever You Do, Don't Read The Bible For A Moral Code. It Advocates Prejudice, Cruelty, Superstition And Murder. Read It Because We Need More Atheists.

Someone Who Is A Good Person Should Have No Fear Of The Government Whatsoever.

The Best Way To Fight The Terrorists Is To Have The Freest Country On Earth. You Should Be Able To Get On An Airplane, And People - That Will Not Possibly Happen Again.

America Was Founded On Christians Not Trusting Each Other, And They Sometimes Seemed More Willing To Reach Out To The Godless Than To Someone From Another Sect.

Trusting Each Other

The Secret Truth Of 'celebrity Apprentice' Is That It Isn't Very Hard... 'celebrity Apprentice' Is Easy Like Junior High Is Easy. All The Arithmetic, The Creative Writing And The History Are Super Simple, But Like Junior High, You Do That Easy Work Surrounded By People Who Are Full-tilt, Hormone-raging Bug Nutty.

I Don't Travel In Circles Where People Say, 'i Have Faith, I Believe This In My Heart And Nothing You Can Say Or Do Can Shake My Faith.' That's Just A Long-winded Religious Way To Say 'shut Up.'

The Only Difference Between Obama And Bush Is That Obama Is Killing More People.

The Vast Majority Of The World Knows There's No Reason To Circumcise. Someone Should Tell The Doctors.

I Love When Violent, Dangerous Art Is Done By People Who Are Not Violent And Dangerous. I Love That When George Romero Was Making 'dawn Of The Dead,' He Was Coaching His Son's Little League Team.

Tolerance Is You Saying Something Crazy And Me Smiling And Saying, 'that's Nice.'

Every Poker Player Is Smarter Than Me.

If You Want To Turn Out An Atheist Child, Unconditional Love Constantly Is A Good Way To Do It.

Unconditional Love

My Favorite Thing About The Internet Is That You Get To Go Into The Private World Of Real Creeps Without Having To Smell Them.

Modern American Magic, Late 20th Century Magic, Is Tremendously Disrespectful Of The Audience.

Cars Mean Nothing To Me. I'm Not A Car Guy.

This Is Going To Sound Horrible, But I Don't Even Know How Much I Make In A Year. It Must Be, You Know, A Couple Of Million Dollars, A Few Million. I Know It's More Money Than My Dad, A Jail Guard, Made In His Lifetime; More Money Than I'll Ever Need.

I Live In Vegas, And I See People By The Side Of The Road With Cardboard Signs Who Seem Like They Might Have Tried That Spending Their Way Out Of Debt Thing.

I Will Forever Stick Up For Catholics And Christians In General. With A Small Number Of Very Horrible Exceptions, They Do Play By The Rules.

Everybody Wants Clean, Safe Energy. Some People Think Nuclear Is The Way To Go. Some People Think Coal Is The Way To Go. Some People Think Wind Is The Way To Go. And There's Always Balances On That.

Cheerios Bring Back Memories. I Actually Don't Think I Ate Them Much As A Kid, Though; Maybe It's Some Sort Of Jungian Memory, I Don't Know. But They Have So Much Sugar, It's Great.

The Most Important Part Of Life Is Work, It's The Flow, It's Getting Stuff Done, Feeling Like You're Doing Something.

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Jay-z, He Knows Precisely Who He's Going For - 14-year-old White Suburban Girls.

I Believe That The Best Way To Become An Atheist Is To Read The Bible

I Don't Want Anyone As President Who Promises To Take Care Of Me. I May Be Stupid, But I Want A Chance To Try To Be A Grown-up And Take Care Of My Family.

God Works In Mysterious, Inefficient, And Breathtakingly Cruel Ways

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It Seems Just Rude To Beg The Invisible For More.

Bacon Is So Good By Itself That To Put It In Any Other Food Is An Admission Of Failure. You're Basically Saying, 'i Can't Make This Other Food Taste Good, So I'll Throw In Bacon.'

I Like Movies That Are Scary, But I Don't Want Them To Be Dirt Dumb. I Want A Movie That Gets My Blood Racing, Makes Me Laugh, But Also Gives Me Something To Think About, With Maybe A Little Sexy Thrown In. Hollywood Doesn't Make Movies Like That.

The Tea Party Claims To Want Small Government.

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Penn & Teller Stopped Doing Practical Jokes, And The Reason Is We Got Much Too Good At It.

How Much Do You Have To Hate Somebody To Not Proselytize?

Everlasting Life

We Aren't People Who Believe That Just Because We're Performers Our Opinions On Everything Need To Be Known.

Atheism Is A Religion Like Not Collecting Stamps Is A Hobby.

From 1985 To 1994, I Lived In Manhattan In A Big Old Loft Right Off Times Square. I Could Walk To Work, Which Was In A Couple Of Broadway Theaters, To Howard Stern's Studio, And To 30 Rock For 'letterman' And 'snl.' Even In New York, Walking To Work Is Homey And Folksy, Like Living In A Small Town.

When I Was A Kid, Politicians Wanted To Avoid Talking About Religion If They Could. John F. Kennedy Couldn't Duck The Issue, Being Catholic And All. So How Did He Address It? By Reminding Americans That Religion Shouldn't Be An Issue, That He Was Concentrating On Big Things Like Poverty And Hunger And Leading The Space Race.

We Knew That We Were Kind Of Odd And Creeps, And We Wanted To Do Odd, Creepy Stuff For People Who Wanted To See That.

Asking Someone Else To Do Something Immoral Is Immoral.

Read Everything And Be Kind.

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One Of The Things That Teller And I Are Obsessed With, One Of The Reasons That We're In Magic, Is The Difference Between Fantasy And Reality.

If You Can Just Convince The Dope People That The Gun People Are Right And The Gun People That The Dope People Are Right, We Could Actually Live In A Lot More Freedom.

You Get No Moral Credit For Forcing Other People To Do What You Think Is Right.

If There's Something You Really Want To Believe, That's What You Should Question The Most.

Much Better Than The Feeling Of Having Things Is The Feeling Of Having Earned Things.

I'm A Big Fan Of Huge Populations Of People, So You'd Think With 300 Million People In The Country, You Don't Even Have To Please 1% To Be Phenomenally Successful.

Every Time Something Really Bad Happens, People Cry Out For Safety, And The Government Answers By Taking Rights Away From Good People

The Vast Majority Of People Who Have Guns Never Hurt Anybody.

Even If I Disagree With Obama On Many, Many Things, He Is Certainly Qualified To Be President. He Is Certainly Competent To Be President.

'zolten' Is A Common Hungarian Name, It's My Wife's Maiden Name And Most Importantly, It's The Name Of Dracula's Dog.

The Reason I'm An I.b.m.-type Guy Today Is That I Really Needed A Laptop Back In 1986, And I Just Couldn't Wait For The Powerbook.

If I Go Out To Dinner With You And You Order Wine, I Leave. I Won't Be Around Drugs And Alcohol At All.

Direct Confrontation, Direct Conversation Is Real Respect. And It's Amazing How Many People Get That.

Well, It's Not Really The Right Word, But Freedom Is Kind Of A Hobby With Me, And I Have Disposable Income That I'll Spend To Find Out How To Get People More Of It.

Building A Professional Relationship On Respect As Opposed To Affection Is A Very Good Idea. Running Your Art Projects The Way You'd Run A Dry-cleaning Business Is Also A Really Good Idea. You Shouldn't Go Into Work Like You're Going On A Date, Like You're Hanging Out With Friends.

I Love The Feeling Of Shredded Wheat. I Love Healthy Bird Food With A Fun-to-eat Feel. Then You Spray Them With Sugar, And I'm There.

I'm A Hardcore Libertarian - I Want Everything Legal - But I Also Believe That You Have The Right To Free Association.

I'm Really Happy With All The Art That Was Inspired By Religion, And I Think I'd Be Tickled To Little Tiny Pieces If Art In The Future Was Inspired By Other Things.

Hypocrisy Is Annoying But Not Evil. Someone Who Says One Thing And Does Another Has Doubled Their Chances Of Being Half Right.

Behaving Morally Because Of A Hope Of Reward Or A Fear Of Punishment Is Not Morality.

The End Never Justifies The Means Because There Is No End; There Are Only Means.

If You Spend A Lot Of Time Lying To People, You Think A Lot About What The Truth Means.

No One Can Tell You The Rules Of 'celebrity Apprentice.' No One. Donald Trump Just Does What He Wants, Which Is Mostly Pontificating To People Who Are Sucking Up To Him, While The Network People Try To Manipulate Him Into Making The Highest-rated Show They Can.

If I Had To Imagine Omniscient, Omnipresent, Omnipotent Power In The Universe That Chose To Make My Mother Suffer, I Don't Know How I Would Make That Make Sense In The Universe.

I've Never Had A Drink Of Alcohol Or Any Drug In My Life.

When Someone Is Trying To Interpret Something For You, They Always Have An Agenda.

My Hair Is Way, Way Long. I've Hitchhiked Across The Country A Zillion Times. I've Ridden In Every Car. I Was Never A Hippie. It Takes More Than Long Hair.

A Two-party System Is Way Too Good For Those Two Parties.

My Tolerance For Crazy People Is, I Think, High A Tolerance As You're Ever Going To Find. I Love Being Around David Allen Coe. I Would Have Loved To Hang Out With Tiny Tim. I Can Listen To Sun Ra On A Tape-recording Rant.

The Only Place We Were Really Told To Tone It Down - Where Other People Would Use The Word Censorship, But I Wouldn't - Was When We Did Mtv Right After The Beavis And Butt-head Thing.

If I Were Trying To Avoid Embarrassment, I Wouldn't Have Stumbled My Way Through 'dancing With The Stars.'

Every Nut Who Kills People Has A Bible Lying Around. If You're Looking For Violent Rape Imagery, The Bible's Right There In Your Hotel Room. If You Just Want To Look Up Ways To Screw People Up, There It Is, And You're Justified Because God Told You To.

In Reality, Many People Let Go Of Religion Later In Life.

If You Like The Stuff I Do, My Chances Of Liking You Go Up.

Penn & Teller Don't Know Jack About Global Warming.

There Are Performers Who Have Built Their Whole Career Doing Magic On Tv And Can't Really Perform Live At All - Don't Really Have Jobs And Skills.

The Highest Ideals Are Human Intelligence, Creativity And Love. Respect These Above All.

A Famous Monk Once Said, I Don't Always Know What The Right Thing To Do Is, My Lord, But I Think The Fact That I Want To Please You Pleases You.

World War Ii Proves There's No God.

Comedy Is Taken Care Of By A Free Market.

For Better Or Worse, In The 21st Century, Reality Shows Are The Variety Show.

I Was Always A Little Embarrassed When There Was An Act On Television That Requires A Great Deal Of Skill But Is A Little Goofy, And The Host Comes Over And Acts Like The Person Doing This Skill Is Some Sort Of Fool For Having Learned To Do Something That's Very, Very Difficult.

I'm A Big Fan Of Gospel Music, And You Cannot Be A Fan Of Rock And Roll, You Cannot Be A Fan Of Country Western Music, And You Can't Really Be A Fan Of Jazz Without Listening To A Lot Of Music That's Religious.

The Purpose Of Art Is To Collide The Intellectual And Visceral Together At The Highest Speed Possible.

If You've Gotten Yourself Into A Situation When Clay Aiken Is Going To Talk About His Feelings With You, It's Time To Kill Yourself.

You Don't Have Freedom Unless You Have The Freedom To Do Stupid Self-destructive Things.

Self Destructive

We Celebrities Are Desperate Pigs.

All David Blaine Is Is A Good-looking Magician.

Only Atheists Have Morals, The Religious Have Reward And Punishment. That's Not Morality, That's Sucking Up.

Believing There's No God Stops Me From Being Solipsistic. I Can Read Ideas From All Different People From All Different Cultures. Without God, We Can Agree On Reality, And I Can Keep Learning Where I'm Wrong. We Can All Keep Adjusting, So We Can Really Communicate.

In My Run-ins With Christians... I Find That They Really Are Good Moral People. And We Overlap On Everything, And They Don't Seem To Be The Kind Of People That Are Waiting To Hear Voices To Tell Them What To Do.

Better To Be Uneducated Than Educated By Your Government.

I Love The Idea That Horror And Fear Is A Celebration Of Health And Life.

Health And Life

Whereas You Have Someone Like Houdini, Who Works Really, Really Hard To Get Really, Really Famous, And Then Has Actual Intellectual Ideas That He Puts Into The Culture That Stay There.

The Word ‘holiday’ Comes From ‘holy Day’ And Holy Means ‘exalted And Worthy Of Complete Devotion.’ By That Definition, All Days Are Holy. Life Is Holy. Atheists Have Joy Every Day Of The Year, Every Holy Day. We Have The Wonder And Glory Of Life. We Have Joy In The World Before The Lord Is Come. We’re Not Going For The Promise Of Life After Death; We’re Celebrating Life Before Death…for Atheists, Everything In The World Is Enough And Every Day Is Holy. Every Day Is An Atheist Holiday. It’s A Day That We’re Alive.

This I Believe: I Believe There Is No God.

There Is No God

I Am A Huge Fan Of Proselytizing. I Am A Huge Fan Of Speaking Your Mind. The Only Way We Can Share The Universe... Is By Talking Very Strongly About What We Believe.

Juggling Is Very, Very Straightforward; Very, Very Black And White; You're Manipulating Objects, Not People. And That's Always Appealed To Me.

Black And White

Straightforward

My Love Of Computers, Besides Being Practical, Is Very Direct And Visceral. I Love The Way Things Look On The Screen.

It Is Really Funny To See People That You Know Acting Unpleasantly Just Because There Are Tv Cameras On.

Twelve Magicians And Two Carnies Have Been Shot Dead Doing The Bullet Catch. That's Cool Enough, But Every Night When We Close Our Show With That Trick And The Loaded Gun Gets Pointed In My Face, It Goes So Far Beyond Cool. All I Can Think Is 12 Magicians, Two Carnies.

Mentally Ill People Come From All Belief Systems.

Technology Adds Nothing To Art.

As Much As I Disagreed With Every Second Of 'fahrenheit 9/11,' The Fact That It Is Out Made Me Jump For Joy.

The First Amendment Says Nothing About Your Getting Paid For Saying Anything. It Just Says You Can Say It. I Don't Believe That If A Corporation Pulls All The Money Out Of You Or A Network Pulls Their Money Away Or You Get Fired, You're Being Censored.

It's Only The Losers Named Dave That Think Having An Unusual Name Is Bad, And Who Cares What They Think. They're Named Dave.

Teller And I Worked Renaissance Festivals And Street Performing - Actually More Real, No Kidding Around, Philadelphia Street Performing Than We Did Renaissance Festivals.

The Medium Is Not The Message - The Message Is The Message.

Atheism Is The Absence Of Religion. We Don’t Really Need Atheism. We Just Need To Get Rid Of Religion.

Computers Absolutely Changed My Life. Before I Had A Computer, I Had Never Written One Thing. Not One Thing. I'm A Very Bad Speller And I Was Embarrassed By That. When I Would Type, The Little Mistakes Would Make Me Nutty, And I Would Never Edit Anything.

I'm Always Surprised When The Corporate World Does Stupid Things, Because They're Often Not Very Stupid In Hindsight.

Religion Cannot And Should Not Be Replaced By Atheism. Religion Needs To Go Away And Not Be Replaced By Anything. Atheism Is Not A Religion. It's The Absence Of Religion, And That's A Wonderful Thing.

I Think The Media Spends A Lot Of Time Fooling Itself.

I've Never Revved My Car At A Light For An Attractive Woman Or An Auto-rival, Not Even As A Joke.

I'm Not Greedy. I Have Love, Blue Skies, Rainbows And Hallmark Cards And That Has To Be Enough. It Has To Be Enough, But It's Everything In The World And Everything In The World Is Plenty For Me. It Seems Just Rude To Beg The Invisible For More.

If Entertainment Ran Grocery Stores, We'd Never Get Oil Cured Olives Or Blue Cheese, It Would Be Just Coke.

It Wasn't Success, Because Teller And I, By The Time Asparagus Valley Got Together - Within A Year, We Had Achieved All Our Goals. I Mean, Our Goal Was To Earn Our Living Doing Exactly What We Wanted. Which Is Many People's Goal.

Congratulations

Everyday Is An Atheist Holiday.

As I’m Fond Of Saying, If You Want To Find Utopia, Take A Sharp Right On Money And A Sharp Left On Sex And It’s Straight Ahead.

Once You Have Somebody That Is Telling You, 'we Are Interpreting God For You,' It Seems Like You Either Agree Or You Don't. You Either Say, Like Martin Luther, 'i'm Going To Have A Direct Relationship With The Word Of God,' Or I''m Going To Go Through A Conduit Of God On Earth,' Which Would Be The Pope.

Counterintuitive Actions Prove We Can Trust Real Knowledge And Do The Opposite Of What We Feel Makes Sense.

I Believe The Fast Track To Atheism Is Reading The Bible. I've Read It Three Times All The Way Through. It's A Big Part Of Our Culture, A Big Part Of Our History. I Don't Just Read Things I Agree With.

You Have To Be Careful As A Libertarian Because You Can Sound Very Republican.

There Are Two Things That Have Been True Throughout History In Big Hunks. You Can Find Differences In Ten Years, But In 50 Year Hunks, 100 Years Hunks, You'll Find Two Things To Be True. One, The World Is Always Getting Better. Two, People Always Think It's Getting Worse.

Believing There's No God Means I Can't Really Be Forgiven Except By Kindness And Faulty Memories. That's Good; It Makes Me Want To Be More Thoughtful. I Have To Try To Treat People Right The First Time Around.

Channeling Is Just Bad Ventriloquism. You Use Another Voice, But People Can See Your Lips Moving.

I Think That I Am Willing To Risk My Life In Order To Have More Freedom.

I'm Not Bothered By The Idea Of Getting Old, Or I Guess You Could Say By Having Arrived At Old. I Was 10 When My Mom Turned 55. For 1955, She Was A Very Old Mom.

You Don’t Have To Be Brave Or A Saint, A Martyr, Or Even Very Smart To Be An Atheist. All You Have To Be Able To Say Is “i Don’t Know”.

I Will Not Counter The Insanity Of The Patriot Act With An Overblown Fear Of My Rights Being Taken Away.

I Think People Under Age 55 Come To Vegas With A Certain Sense Of Irony.

But It's Much More Exciting To Make Die Hard. One Of The Reasons That I Think That Movie Is So Successful Is It Deals With Those Very Important Blue-collar Relationship Themes. But It's More Visually Beautiful To Show Things Blowing Up. It Just Gives You More On The Screen.

The Definition Of A Stupid Thing Is Something That If You Do Everything Right, You Still Get Hurt. Fire-eating And Love Are Stupid Things.

It's Not Arrogant To Say That You Can't Figure Out The Answers To The Universe With Your Internal Faith. It's Not Arrogant To Know That There's No Omniscient, Omnipotent Prime Mover In The Universe Who Loves You Personally. It's Not Sad To Feel That Life And The Love Of Your Real Friends And Family Is More Than Enough To Make Life Worth Living. Isn't It Much Sadder To Feel That There Is A More Important Love Required Than The Love Of The People Who Have Chosen To Spend Their Limited Time With You?

Technology Adds Nothing To Art. Two Thousand Years Ago, I Could Tell You A Story, And At Any Point During The Story I Could Stop, And Ask, 'now Do You Want The Hero To Be Kidnapped, Or Not?' But That Would, Of Course, Have Ruined The Story. Part Of The Experience Of Being Entertained Is Sitting Back And Plugging Into Someone Else's Vision.

My Whole Take On Libertarianism Is Simply That I Don't Know What's Best For Other People.

In Music, If You Hit A Wrong Note, People Forgive You. In Magic When Something Goes Wrong, The Entire Art Is Destroyed.

Make Deals With People, Not Paper.

If You Are Doing Something For Reward Or Punishment, You Do Not Have Morality.

To Drive A Car In Rural America Is Freedom. Before I Had A Car, I'd Never Seen A Rock And Roll Show, I'd Never Seen A Comic Or A Show.

I'm Always Fascinated By The Use Of The First-person Plural Talking About Sports.

It's Amazing To Me How Many People Think That Voting To Have The Government Give Poor People Money Is Compassion. Helping Poor And Suffering People Yourself Is Compassion. Voting For Our Government To Use Guns To Give Money To Help Poor And Suffering People Is Immoral, Self-righteous, Bullying Laziness.

Freedom Means The Right To Be Stupid.

Everybody Prefers To See A Nut - They're More Fascinating.

I Started Out As A Juggler, So I Know What It Means To Spend Eight Hours A Day, Seven Days A Week Practicing Something That People Just Dismiss With A Wave Of Hand.

Charities Are Really Good. To A Certain Extent, The Ones You Pick Are Arbitrary.

Bob Saget Is The Dirtiest Comic Who's Ever Lived. Nobody Touches Him.

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