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General Irregularities Are Known In Time To Remedy Themselves. By The Constitution Of Ancient Egypt, The Priesthood Was Continually Increasing, Till At Length There Was No People Beside Themselves; The Establishment Was Then Dissolved, And The Number Of Priests Was Reduced And Limited. Thus Among Us, Writers Will, Perhaps, Be Multiplied, Till No Readers Will Be Found, And Then The Ambition Of Writing Must Necessarily Cease.

-Samuel Johnson

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General Irregularities Are Known

Samuel Johnson

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General Irregularities Are Known In Time To Remedy Themselves. By The Constitution Of Ancient Egypt, The Priesthood Was Continually Increasing, Till At Length There Was No People Beside Themselves; The Establishment Was Then Dissolved, And The Number Of Priests Was Reduced And Limited. Thus Among Us, Writers Will, Perhaps, Be Multiplied, Till No Readers Will Be Found, And Then The Ambition Of Writing Must Necessarily Cease.

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Your Aspirations Are Your Possibilities.

What Ever The Motive For The Insult, It Is Always Best To Overlook It; For Folly Doesn't Deserve Resentment, And Malice Is Punished By Neglect.

That Distrust Which Intrudes So Often On Your Mind Is A Mode Of Melancholy, Which, If It Be The Business Of A Wise Man To Be Happy, It Is Foolish To Indulge; And If It Be A Duty To Preserve Our Faculties Entire For Their Proper Use, It Is Criminal. Suspicion Is Very Often An Useless Pain.

Love Has No Great Influences Upon The Sum Of Life.

Men Who Stand In The Highest Ranks Of Society Seldom Hear Of Their Faults; If By Any Accident An Opprobrious Clamour Reaches Their Ears, Flattery Is Always At Hand To Pour In Her Opiates, To Quiet Conviction And Obtund Remorse.

Nobody Has The Right To Put Another Under Such A Difficulty That He Must Either Hurt The Person By Telling The Truth Or Hurt Himself By Telling What Is Not True.

Telling The Truth

Men Have Solicitude About Fame; And The Greater Share They Have Of It, The More Afraid They Are Of Losing It.

It Was Said Of Euripides, That Every Verse Was A Precept; And It May Be Said Of Shakespeare, That From His Works May Be Collected A System Of Civil And Economical Prudence.

There Is Little Peace Or Comfort In Life If We Are Always Anxious As To Future Events. He That Worries Himself With The Dread Of Possible Contingencies Will Never Be At Rest.

To Forget, Or Pretend To Do So, To Return A Borrowed Article, Is The Meanest Sort Of Petty Theft.

A Successful Author Is Equally In Danger Of The Diminution Of His Fame, Whether He Continues Or Ceases To Write.

All Argument Is Against It; But All Belief Is For It.

He To Whom Many Objects Of Pursuit Arise At The Same Time, Will Frequently Hesitate Between Different Desires Till A Rival Has Precluded Him, Or Change His Course As New Attractions Prevail, And Harass Himself Without Advancing.

Books That You May Carry To The Fire, And Hold Readily In Your Hand, Are The Most Useful After All.

Life, However Short, Is Made Still Shorter By Waste Of Time.

There Is No Kind Of Idleness By Which We Are So Easily Seduced As That Which Dignifies Itself By The Appearance Of Business.

Too Much Nicety Of Detail Disgusts The Greatest Part Of Readers, And To Throw A Multitude Of Particulars Under General Heads, And Lay Down Rules Of Extensive Comprehension, Is To Common Understandings Of Little Use.

Prudence Operates On Life In The Same Manner As Rule Of Composition; It Produces Vigilance Rather Than Elevation; Rather Prevents Loss Than Procures Advantage; And Often Miscarriages, But Seldom Reaches Either Power Or Honor.

There Seems To Be A Strange Affectation In Authors Of Appearing To Have Done Everything By Chance.

Critics, Like The Rest Of Mankind, Are Very Frequently Misled By Interest.

I Hope I Shall Never Be Deterred From Detecting What I Think A Cheat, By The Menaces Of A Ruffian.

The Blaze Of Reputation Cannot Be Blown Out, But It Often Dies In The Socket; A Very Few Names May Be Considered As Perpetual Lamps That Shine Unconsumed.

The History Of Mankind Is Little Else Than A Narrative Of Designs Which Have Failed And Hopes That Have Been Disappointed.

I Am Always Sorry When Any Language Is Lost, Because Languages Are The Pedigrees Of Nations.

A Man's Mind Grows Narrow In A Narrow Place.

Sleep Is A State In Which A Great Part Of Every Life Is Passed. No Animal Has Yet Been Discovered, Whose Existence Is Not Varied With Intervals Of Insensibility; And Some Late Philosophers Have Extended The Empire Of Sleep Over The Vegetable World.

In Traveling, A Man Must Carry Knowledge With Him, If He Would Bring Home Knowledge.

The Faults Of A Writer Of Acknowledged Excellence Are More Dangerous, Because The Influence Of His Example Is More Extensive; And The Interest Of Learning Requires That They Should Be Discovered And Stigmatized, Before They Have The Sanction Of Antiquity Conferred Upon Them, And Become Precedents Of Indisputable Authority.

It Is Better To Live Rich Than To Die Rich.

A Man Used To Vicissitudes Is Not Easily Dejected.

Round Numbers Are Always False.

Fears Of The Brave And Follies Of The Wise.

He That Writes May Be Considered As A Kind Of General Challenger, Whom Every One Has A Right To Attack; Since He Quits The Common Rank Of Life, Steps Forward Beyond The Lists, And Offers His Merit To The Public Judgement. To Commence Author Is To Claim Praise, And No Man Can Justly Aspire To Honour, But At The Hazard Of Disgrace.

Sir, He Throws Away His Money Without Thought And Without Merit. I Do Not Call A Tree Generous That Sheds Its Fruit At Every Breeze.

Large Offers And Sturdy Rejections Are Among The Most Common Topics Of Falsehood.

The True Measure Of A Man Is How He Treats Someone Who Can Do Him Absolutely No Good.

Hunting Was The Labour Of The Savages Of North America, But The Amusement Of The Gentlemen Of England.

Some Desire Is Necessary To Keep Life In Motion.

We Seldom Require More To The Happiness Of The Present Hour Than To Surpass Him That Stands Next Before Us.

There Are Few Things That We So Unwillingly Give Up, Even In Advanced Age, As The Supposition That We Still Have The Power Of Ingratiating Ourselves With The Fair Sex.

Politeness Is One Of Those Advantages Which We Never Estimate Rightly But By The Inconvenience Of Its Loss.

All Travel Has Its Advantages. If The Passenger Visits Better Countries, He May Learn To Improve His Own. And If Fortune Carries Him To Worse, He May Learn To Enjoy It.

Order Is A Lovely Nymph, The Child Of Beauty And Wisdom; Her Attendants Are Comfort, Neatness, And Activity; Her Abode Is The Valley Of Happiness: She Is Always To Be Found When Sought For, And Never Appears So Lovely As When Contrasted With Her Opponent, Disorder.

Resentment Gratifies Him Who Intended An Injury, And Pains Him Unjustly Who Did Not Intend It.

Cowardice Encroaches Fast Upon Such As Spend Their Lives In Company Of Persons Higher Than Themselves.

As Every One Is Pleased With Imagining That He Knows Something Not Yet Commonly Divulged, Secret History Easily Gains Credit; But It Is For The Most Part Believed Only While It Circulates In Whispers, And When Once It Is Openly Told, Is Openly Refuted.

Time Is, Of All Modes Of Existence, Most Obsequious To The Imagination.

Nothing Is Little To Him That Feels It With Great Sensibility.

It Seems Not More Reasonable To Leave The Right Of Printing Unrestrained, Because Writers May Be Afterwards Censured, Than It Would Be To Sleep With Doors Unbolted, Because By Our Laws We Can Hang A Thief.

In Most Ages Many Countries Have Had Part Of Their Inhabitants In A State Of Slavery; Yet It May Be Doubted Whether Slavery Can Ever Be Supposed The Natural Condition Of Man. It Is Impossible Not To Conceive That Men In Their Original State Were Equal; And Very Difficult To Imagine How One Would Be Subjected To Another But By Violent Compulsion. An Individual May, Indeed, Forfeit His Liberty By A Crime; But He Cannot By That Crime Forfeit The Liberty Of His Children.

In Matters Of Business, No Woman Stops At Integrity.

Truth Allows No Choice.

When Desperate Ills Demand A Speedy Cure, Distrust Is Cowardice, And Prudence Folly.

All Discourse Of Which Others Cannot Partake Is Not Only An Irksome Usurpation Of The Time Devoted To Pleasure And Entertainment, But, What Never Fails To Excite Resentment, An Insolent Assertion Of Superiority, And A Triumph Over Less Enlightened Understandings. The Pedant Is, Therefore, Not Only Heard With Weariness But Malignity; And Those Who Conceive Themselves Insulted By His Knowledge Never Fail To Tell With Acrimony How Injudiciously It Was Exerted.

Virtue Is Too Often Merely Local.

Of All Kinds Of Credulity, The Most Obstinate Is That Of Party-spirit; Of Men, Who, Being Numbered, They Know Not Why, In Any Party, Resign The Use Of Their Own Eyes And Ears, And Resolve To Believe Nothing That Does Not Favor Those Whom They Profess To Follow.

Great Abilities Are Not Requisite For An Historian; For In Historical Composition, All The Greatest Powers Of The Human Mind Are Quiescent. He Has Facts Ready To His Hand; So There Is No Exercise Of Invention. Imagination Is Not Required In Any Degree; Only About As Much As Is Used In The Lowest Kinds Of Poetry. Some Penetration, Accuracy, And Coloring, Will Fit A Man For The Task, If He Can Give The Application Which Is Necessary.

When Female Minds Are Embittered By Age Or Solitude, Their Malignity Is Generally Exerted In A Rigorous And Spiteful Superintendence Of Domestic Trifles.

And Panting Time Toil'd After Him In Vain.

Everybody Loves To Have Things Which Please The Palate Put In Their Way, Without Trouble Or Preparation.

Man Is A Transitory Being, And His Designs Must Partake Of The Imperfections Of Their Author. To Confer Duration Is Not Always In Our Power. We Must Snatch The Present Moment, And Employ It Well, Without Too Much Solicitude For The Future, And Content Ourselves With Reflecting That Our Part Is Performed. He That Waits For An Opportunity To Do Much At Once, May Breathe Out His Life In Idle Wishes, And Regret, In The Last Hour, His Useless Intentions And Barren Zeal.

The Supreme End Of Education Is Expert Discernment In All Things-the Power To Tell The Good From The Bad, The Genuine From The Counterfeit, And To Prefer The Good And The Genuine To The Bad And The Counterfeit.

In This Work Are Exhibited, In A Very High Degree, The Two Most Engaging Powers Of An Author. New Things Are Made Familiar, And Familiar Things Are Made New.

Get Together A Hundred Or Two Men, However Sensible They May Be, And You Are Very Likely To Have A Mob.

For Patience, Sov'reign O'er Transmuted Ill.

The Church Does Not Superstitiously Observe Days, Merely As Days, But As Memorials Of Important Facts. Christmas Might Be Kept As Well Upon One Day Of The Year As Another; But There Should Be A Stated Day For Commemorating The Birth Of Our Saviour, Because There Is Danger That What May Be Done On Any Day, Will Be Neglected.

The Perfect Day For Quitting Is Not Real. It Will Never Come, So Might As Well Start Today

This World, Where Much Is To Be Done And Little To Be Known.

No Place Affords A More Striking Conviction Of The Vanity Of Human Hopes Than A Public Library; For Who Can See The Wall Crowded On Every Side By Mighty Volumes, The Works Of Laborious Meditations And Accurate Inquiry, Now Scarcely Known But By The Catalogue.

If A Man Could Say Nothing Against A Character But What He Can Prove, History Could Not Be Written.

The Joy Of Life Is Variety; The Tenderest Love Requires To Be Rekindled By Intervals Of Absence.

Criticism Is A Study By Which Men Grow Important And Formidable At Very Small Expense. The Power Of Invention Has Been Conferred By Nature Upon Few, And The Labour Of Learning Those Sciences Which May, By Mere Labour, Be Obtained, Is Too Great To Be Willingly Endured; But Every Man Can Exert Some Judgment As He Has Upon The Works Of Others; And He Whom Nature Has Made Weak, And Idleness Keeps Ignorant, May Yet Support His Vanity By The Name Of Critic.

The Gloomy And The Resentful Are Always Found Among Those Who Have Nothing To Do Or Who Do Nothing.

Advice Is Seldom Welcome. Those Who Need It Most, Like It Least.

The Finest Landscape In The World Is Improved By A Good Inn In The Foreground.

If The Man Who Turnips Cries, Cry Not When His Father Dies, 'tis Proof That He Had Rather Have A Turnip Than His Father.

A Man Who Exposes Himself When He Is Intoxicated, Has Not The Art Of Getting Drunk.

Among The Many Inconsistencies Which Folly Produces Or Infirmity Suffers In The Human Mind, There Has Often Been Observed A Manifest And Striking Contrariety Between The Life Of An Author And His Writings... Those Whom The Appearance Of Virtue Or The Evidence Of Genius Has Tempted To A Nearer Knowledge Of The Writer, In Whose Performances They May Be Found, Have Indeed Had Frequent Reason To Repent Their Curiosity.

I Have All My Life Long Been Lying In Bed Till Noon; Yet I Tell All Young Men, And Tell Them With Great Sincerity, That Nobody Who Does Not Rise Early Will Ever Do Any Good.

The Wise Man Applauds He Who He Thinks Most Virtuous; The Rest Of The World Applauds The Wealthy.

Money Confounds Subordination.

Profuseness Is A Cruel And Crafty Demon, That Gradually Involves Her Followers In Dependence And Debt; That Is, Fetters Them With Irons That Enter Into Their Souls.

Ignorance, When It Is Voluntary, Is Criminal; And He May Be Properly Charged With Evil Who Refused To Learn How He Might Prevent It.

Depend Upon It That If A Man Talks Of His Misfortunes There Is Something In Them That Is Not Disagreeable To Him; For Where There Is Nothing But Pure Misery There Never Is Any Recourse To The Mention Of It.

Wasting A Fortune Is Evaporation By A Thousand Imperceptible Means.

Shakespeare Never Had More Than 6 Lines Together Without A Fault.

A Wise Man Will Make Haste To Forgive, Because He Knows The True Value Of Time, And Will Not Suffer It To Pass Away In Unnecessary Pain.

Hope Is Necessary In Every Condition. The Miseries Of Poverty, Sickness And Captivity Would, Without This Comfort, Be Insupportable.

By The Consultation Of Books, Whether Of Dead Or Living Authors, Many Temptations To Petulance And Opposition, Which Occur In Oral Conferences, Are Avoided. An Author Cannot Obtrude His Service Unasked, Nor Can Be Often Suspected Of Any Malignant Intention To Insult His Readers With His Knowledge Or His Wit. Yet So Prevalent Is The Habit Of Comparing Ourselves With Others, While They Remain Within The Reach Of Our Passions, That Books Are Seldom Read With Complete Impartiality, But By Those From Whom The Writer Is Placed At Such A Distance That His Life Or Death Is Indifferent.

We Are All Prompted By The Same Motives, All Deceived By The Same Fallacies, All Animated By Hope, Obstructed By Danger, Entangled By Desire, And Seduced By Pleasure.

They Who Look But Little Into Futurity, Have, Perhaps, The Quickest Sensation Of The Present.

Employment And Hardships Prevent Melancholy.

Apologies Are Seldom Of Any Use.

As Pride Sometimes Is Hid Under Humility, Idleness If Often Covered By Turbulence And Hurry.

It Is Not Possible To Be Regarded With Tenderness, Except By A Few. That Merit Which Gives Greatness And Renown Diffuses Its Influence To A Wide Compass, But Acts Weakly On Every Single Breast; It Is Placed At A Distance From Common Spectators, And Shines Like One Of The Remote Stars, Of Which The Light Reaches Us, But Not The Heat.

If, Sir, Men Were All Virtuous, I Should With Great Alacrity Teach Them All To Fly. But What Would Be The Security Of The Good If The Bad Could At Pleasure Invade Them From The Sky? Against An Army Sailing Through The Clouds Neither Wall, Nor Mountains, Nor Seas Could Afford Any Security.

The Stream Of Time, Which Is Continually Washing The Dissoluble Fabrics Of Other Poets, Passes Without Injury By The Adamant Of Shakespeare.

He Who Expects Much Will Be Often Disappointed; Yet Disappointment Seldom Cures Us Of Expectation, Or Has Any Other Effect Than That Of Producing A Moral Sentence Or Peevish Exclamation.

This Mournful Truth Is Everywhere Confessed, Slow Rises Worth By Poverty Depressed.

The Inevitable Consequence Of Poverty Is Dependence.

Beauty, Without Kindness, Dies Unenjoyed And Undelighting.

The Charm Of London Is That You Are Never Glad Or Sorry For Ten Minutes Together; In The Country You Are One Or The Other For Weeks.

Invention Is Almost The Only Literary Labour Which Blindness Cannot Obstruct.

You Cannot Spend Money In Luxury Without Doing Good To The Poor. Nay, You Do More Good To Them By Spending It In Luxury, Than By Giving It; For By Spending It In Luxury, You Make Them Exert Industry, Whereas By Giving It, You Keep Them Idle.

Knowledge Is More Than Equivalent To Force. The Master Of Mechanics Laughs At Strength.

But Grant, The Virtues Of A Temp'rate Prime Bless With An Age Exempt From Scorn Or Crime; An Age That Melts With Unperceived Decay, And Glides In Modest Innocence Away

A Man Guilty Of Poverty Easily Believes Himself Suspected.

We Suffer Equal Pain From The Pertinacious Adhesion Of Unwelcome Images, As From The Evanescence Of Those Which Are Pleasing And Useful.

The Rules That I Shall Propose Concerning Secrecy, And From Which I Think It Not Safe To Deviate Without Long And Exact Deliberation, Are, Never To Solicit The Knowledge Of A Secret,--not Willingly, Nor Without Many Limitations, To Accept Such Confidence When It Is Offered; When A Secret Is Once Admitted, To Consider The Trust As Of A Very High Nature, Important As Society And Sacred As Truth, And Therefore Not To Be Violated For Any Incidental Convenience, Or Slight Appearance Of Contrary Fitness.

A Ship Is Worse Than A Gaol. There Is, In A Gaol, Better Air, Better Company, Better Conveniency Of Every Kind; And A Ship Has The Additional Disadvantage Of Of Being In Danger.

The Imitator Treads A Beaten Walk, And With All His Diligence Can Only Find A Few Flowers Or Branches Untouched By His Predecessor, The Refuse Of Contempt, Or The Omissions Of Negligence.

He That Applauds Him Who Does Not Deserve Praise, Is Endeavoring To Deceive The Public; He That Hisses In Malice Or Sport, Is An Oppressor And A Robber.

There Must Always Be A Struggle Between A Father And Son, While One Aims At Power And The Other At Independence.

Don't Tell Me Of Deception; A Lie Is A Lie, Whether It Be A Lie To The Eye Or A Lie To The Ear.

Every Man Is Rich Or Poor According To The Proportion Between His Desires And His Enjoyments.

Terrestrial Happiness Is Of Short Duration. The Brightness Of The Flame Is Wasting Its Fuel; The Fragrant Flower Is Passing Away In Its Own Odors.

Without Frugality None Can Be Rich, And With It Very Few Would Be Poor.

In Order That All Men May Be Taught To Speak Truth, It Is Necessary That All Likewise Should Learn To Hear It; For No Species Of Falsehood Is More Frequent Than Flattery, To Which The Coward Is Betrayed By Fear, The Dependent By Interest, And The Friend By Tenderness: Those Who Are Neither Servile Nor Timorous Are Yet Desirous To Bestow Pleasure; And, While Unjust Demands Of Praise Continue To Be Made, There Will Always Be Some Whom Hope, Fear, Or Kindness Will Dispose To Pay Them.

To Get A Name Can Happen But To Few. A Name, Even In The Most Commercial Nation, Is One Of The Few Things Which Cannot Be Bought . It Is The Free Gift Of Mankind, Which Must Be Deserved Before It Will Be Granted, And Is At Last Unwillingly Bestowed.

It Is A Common Error, And The Greater And More Mischievous For Being So Common, To Believe That Repentance Best Becomes And Most Concerns Dying Men. Indeed, What Is Necessary Every Hour Of Our Life Is Necessary In The Hour Of Death Too, And As Long As One Lives He Will Have Need Of Repentance, And Therefore It Is Necessary In The Hour Of Death Too; But He Who Hath Constantly Exercised Himself In It In His Health And Vigor, Will Do It With Less Pain In His Sickness And Weakness; And He Who Hath Practiced It All His Life, Will Do It With More Ease And Less Perplexity In The Hour Of His Death.

There Are Some Works Which The Authors Must Consign Unpublished To Posterity, However Uncertain Be The Event, However Hopeless Be The Trust. He That Writes The History Of His Own Times, If He Adhere Steadily To Truth, Will Write That Which His Own Times Will Not Easily Endure. He Must Be Content To Reposite His Book Till All Private Passions Shall Cease, And Love And Hatred Give Way To Curiosity.

Patriotism Is The Last Refuge Of The Scoundrel.

Each Person's Work Is Always A Portrait Of Himself.

To Strive With Difficulties, And To Conquer Them, Is The Highest Human Felicity; The Next Is, To Strive, And Deserve To Conquer: But He Whose Life Has Passed Without A Contest, And Who Can Boast Neither Success Nor Merit, Can Survey Himself Only As A Useless Filler Of Existence; Ad If He Is Content With His Own Character, Must Owe His Satisfaction To Insensibility.

Commerce However We May Please Ourselves With The Contrary Opinion, Is One Of The Daughters Of Fortune, Inconstant And Deceitful As Her Mother. She Chooses Her Residence Where She Is Least Expected, And Shifts Her Abode When Her Continuance Is, In Appearance, Most Firmly Settled.

We Are Easily Shocked By Crimes Which Appear At Once In Their Full Magnitude, But The Gradual Growth Of Our Own Wickedness, Endeared By Interest, And Palliated By All The Artifices Of Self-deceit, Gives Us Time To Form Distinctions In Our Own Favor

The Chief Art Of Learning, As Locke Has Observed, Is To Attempt But Little At A Time. The Widest Excursions Of The Mind Are Made By Short Flights Frequently Repeated; The Most Lofty Fabrics Of Science Are Formed By The Continued Accumulation Of Single Propositions.

Some People Wave Their Dogmatic Thinking Until Their Own Reason Is Entangled.

The Love Of Life Is Necessary To The Vigorous Prosecution Of Any Undertaking

The Man Who Is Asked By An Author What He Thinks Of His Work Is Put To The Torture And Is Not Obliged To Speak The Truth.

It May Be No Less Dangerous To Claim, On Certain Occasions, Too Little Than Too Much. There Is Something Captivating In Spirit And Intrepidity, To Which We Often Yield As To A Resistless Power; Nor Can We Often Yield As To A Resistless Power; Nor Can He Reasonably Expect The Confidence Of Others Who Too Apparently Distrusts Himself.

The Hostility Perpetually Exercised Between One Man And Another, Is Caused By The Desire Of Many For That Which Only Few Can Possess. Every Man Would Be Rich, Powerful, And Famous; Yet Fame, Power, And Riches, Are Only The Names Of Relative Conditions, Which Imply The Obscurity, Dependence, And Poverty Of Greater Numbers.

New Arts Are Long In The World Before Poets Describe Them; For They Borrow Everything From Their Predecessors, And Commonly Derive Very Little From Nature Or From Life.

I Look Upon Every Day To Be Lost, In Which I Do Not Make A New Acquaintance.

The Most Heterogeneous Ideas Are Yoked By Violence Together; Nature And Art Are Ransacked For Illustrations, Comparisons, And Allusions; Their Learning Instructs, And Their Subtlety Surprises; But The Reader Commonly Thinks His Improvement Dearly Bought And, Though He Sometimes Admires, Is Seldom Pleased.

I Would Rather Be Attacked Than Unnoticed. For The Worst Thing You Can Do To An Author Is To Be Silent As To His Works.

What Is Twice Read Is Commonly Better Remembered That What Is Transcribed.

Wine Gives A Man Nothing... It Only Puts In Motion What Had Been Locked Up In Frost.

The Fountain Of Contentment Must Spring Up In The Mind.

The Morality Of An Action Depends On The Motive From Which We Act. If I Fling Half A Crown To A Beggar With Intention To Break His Head And He Picks It Up And Buy Victuals With It, The Physical Effect Is Good. But With Respect To Me The Action Is Very Wrong.

Gratitude Is A Species Of Justice.

A Writer Only Begins A Book. A Reader Finishes It.

"uisce Beatha" Is A Compounded Distilled Spirit Being Drawn On Aromatics, And The Irish Sort Is Particularly Distinguished For Its Pleasant And Mild Flavour.

Time Quickly Puts An End To Artificial And Accidental Fame

A Man, Sir, Should Keep His Friendship In A Constant Repair.

Nobody Can Write The Life Of A Man But Those Who Have Eat And Drunk And Lived In Social Intercourse With Him.

Hunger Is Never Delicate; They Who Are Seldom Gorged To The Full With Praise May Be Safely Fed With Gross Compliments, For The Appetite Must Be Satisfied Before It Is Disgusted.

I Am Not So Lost In Lexicography As To Forget That Words Are The Daughters Of Earth, And That Things Are The Sons Of Heaven.

Almost Every Man Wastes Part Of His Life Attempting To Display Qualities Which He Does Not Possess.

The Trade Of Advertising Is Now So Near To Perfection That It Is Not Easy To Propose Any Improvement. But As Every Art Ought To Be Exercized In Due Subordination To The Public Good, I Cannot But Propose It As A Moral Question To These Masters Of The Public Ear, Whether They Do Not Sometimes Play Too Wantonly With Our Passions.

As To The Rout That Is Made About People Who Are Ruined By Extravagance, It Is No Matter To The Nation That Some Individuals Suffer. When So Much General Productive Exertion Is The Consequence Of Luxury, The Nation Does Not Care Though There Are Debtors; Nay, They Would Not Care Though Their Creditors Were There Too.

Suspicion Is Very Often A Useless Pain.

Nothing Is More Hopeless Than A Scheme Of Merriment.

There Are Occasions On Which All Apology Is Rudeness.

There Is No Observation More Frequently Made By Such As Employ Themselves In Surveying The Conduct Of Mankind, Than That Marriage, Though The Dictate Of Nature, And The Institution Of Providence, Is Yet Very Often The Cause Of Misery, And That Those Who Enter Into That State Can Seldom Forbear To Express Their Repentance, And Their Envy Of Those Whom Either Chance Or Caution Hath Withheld From It.

A Lawyer Has No Business With The Justice Or Injustice Of The Cause Which He Undertakes, Unless His Client Asks His Opinion, And Then He Is Bound To Give It Honestly. The Justice Or Injustice Of The Cause Is To Be Decided By The Judge.

Those Whose Abilities Or Knowledge Incline Them Most To Deviate From The General Round Of Life Are Recalled From Eccentricity By The Laws Of Their Existence.

Of All The Griefs That Harass The Distress'd, Sure The Most Bitter Is A Scornful Jest; Fate Never Wounds More Deep The Generous Heart, Than When A Blockhead's Insult Points The Dart.

The Uniform Necessities Of Human Nature Produce In A Great Measure Uniformity Of Life, And For Part Of The Day Make One Place Like Another; To Dress And To Undress, To Eat And To Sleep, Are The Same In London As In The Country.

A Family ... Is A Little Kingdom, Torn With Factions And Exposed To Revolutions.

He That Shall Peruse The Political Pamphlets Of Any Past Reign Will Wonder Why They Were So Eagerly Read, Or So Loudly Praised.

He That Accepts Protection, Stipulates Obedience.

There Are Occasions On Which It Is Noble To Dare To Stand Alone. To Be Pious Among Infidels, To Be Disinterested In A Time Of General Venality, To Lead A Life Of Virtue And Reason In The Midst Of Sensualists, Is A Proof Of A Mind Intent On Nobler Things Than The Praise Or Blame Of Men, Of A Soul Fixed In The Contemplation Of The Highest Good, And Superiour To The Tyranny Of Custom And Example.

If I Have Said Something To Hurt A Man Once, I Shall Not Get The Better Of This By Saying Many Things To Please Him.

Revenge Is An Act Of Passion; Vengeance Of Justice. Injuries Are Revenged; Crimes Are Avenged.

The Limbs Will Quiver And Move After The Soul Is Gone.

Presumption Will Be Easily Corrected; But Timidity Is A Disease Of The Mind More Obstinate And Fatal.

One Of The Disadvantages Of Wine Is That It Makes A Man Mistake Words For Thoughts.

Admiration And Love Are Like Being Intoxicated With Champagne; Judgment And Friendship Are Like Being Enlivened.

Games Are Good Or Bad As To Their Nature; All May Be Perverted.

No Man Is Without Some Quality, By The Due Application Of Which He Might Deserve Well Of The World; And Whoever He Be That Has But Little In His Power Should Be In Haste To Do That Little, Lest He Be Confounded With Him That Can Do Nothing.

All Is Not Gold That Glitters, As We Have Often Been Told; And The Adage Is Verified In Your Place And My Favour; But If What Happens Does Not Make Us Richer, We Must Bid It Welcome, If It Makes Us Wiser.

When Once A Man Has Made Celebrity Necessary To His Happiness, He Has Put It In The Power Of The Weakest And Most Timorous Malignity, If Not To Take Away His Satisfaction, At Least To Withhold It. His Enemies May Indulge Their Pride By Airy Negligence And Gratify Their Malice By Quiet Neutrality.

Never Trust Your Tongue When Your Heart Is Bitter.

Some People Have A Foolish Way Of Not Minding, Or Pretending Not To Mind, What They Eat. For My Part, I Mind My Belly Very Studiously, And Very Carefully; For I Look Upon It, That He Who Does Not Mind His Belly Will Hardly Mind Anything Else.

No Man Is Defeated Without Some Resentment Which Will Be Continued With Obstinacy While He Believes Himself In The Right, And Asserted With Bitterness, If Even To His Own Conscience He Is Detected In The Wrong.

It May Be Observed In General That The Future Is Purchased By The Present. It Is Not Possible To Secure Distant Or Permanent Happiness But By The Forbearance Of Some Immediate Gratification. This Is So Evidently True With Regard To The Whole Of Our Existence That All Precepts Of Theology Have No Other Tendency Than To Enforce A Life Of Faith; A Life Regulated Not By Our Senses But By Our Belief; A Life In Which Pleasures Are To Be Refused For Fear Of Invisible Punishments, And Calamities Sometimes To Be Sought, And Always Endured, In Hope Of Rewards That Shall Be Obtained In Another State.

To Expect That The Intricacies Of Science Will Be Pierced By A Careless Glance, Or The Eminences Of Fame Ascended Without Labour, Is To Expect A Peculiar Privilege, A Power Denied To The Rest Of Mankind; But To Suppose That The Maze Is Inscrutable To Diligence, Or The Heights Inaccessible To Perseverance, Is To Submit Tamely To The Tyranny Of Fancy, And Enchain The Mind In Voluntary Shackles.

If We Estimate Dignity By Immediate Usefulness, Agriculture Is Undoubtedly The First And Noblest Science.

It Is, Indeed, At Home That Every Man Must Be Known By Those Who Would Make A Just Estimate Either Of His Virtue Or Felicity; For Smiles And Embroidery Are Alike Occasional, And The Mind Is Often Dressed For Show In Painted Honor, And Fictitious Benevolence.

The Use Of Travelling Is To Regulate Imagination By Reality, And Instead Of Thinking How Things May Be, To See Them As They Are.

It Is The Great Privilege Of Poverty To Be Happy Unenvied, To Be Healthful Without Physic, And Secure Without A Guard; To Obtain From The Bounty Of Nature, What The Great And Wealthy Are Compelled To Procure By The Help Of Artists And Attendants, Of Flatterers And Spies.

The Mischief Of Flattery Is, Not That It Persuades Any Man That He Is What He Is Not, But That It Suppresses The Influence Of Honest Ambition, By Raising An Opinion That Honour May Be Gained Without The Toil Of Merit.

Solitude Is The Surest Nurse Of All Prurient Passions, And A Girl In The Hurry Of Preparation, Or Tumult Of Gaiety, Has Neither Inclination Nor Leisure To Let Tender Expressions Soften Or Sink Into Her Heart. The Ball, The Show, Are Not The Dangerous Places: No, 'tis The Private Friend, The Kind Consoler, The Companion Of The Easy Vacant Hour, Whose Compliance With Her Opinions Can Flatter Her Vanity, And Whose Conversation Can Sooth, Without Ever Stretching Her Mind, That Is The Lover To Be Feared: He Who Buzzes In Her Ear At Court, Or At The Opera, Must Be Contented To Buzz In Vain.

In Such A Government As Ours No Man Is Appointed To An Office Because He Is The Fittest For It--nor Hardly In Any Other Government--because There Are So Many Connections And Dependencies To Be Studied.

A Scotchman Must Be A Very Sturdy Moralist Who Does Not Love Scotland Better Than Truth.

Fly-fishing May Be A Very Pleasant Amusement; But Angling Or Float Fishing I Can Only Compare To A Stick And A String, With A Worm At One End And A Fool At The Other.

The Most Fatal Disease Of Friendship Is Gradual Decay, Or Dislike Hourly Increased By Causes Too Slender For Complaint, And Too Numerous For Removal.

He That Thinks He Can Afford To Be Negligent Is Not Far From Being Poor.

No Degree Of Knowledge Attainable By Man Is Able To Set Him Above The Want Of Hourly Assistance.

In The Description Of Night In Macbeth, The Beetle And The Bat Detract From The General Idea Of Darkness - Inspissated Gloom.

Such Is The Emptiness Of Human Enjoyment That We Are Always Impatient Of The Present. Attainment Is Followed By Neglect, And Possession By Disgust.

Language Is The Dress Of Thought.

Social Sorrow Loses Half Its Pain.

Much Is Due To Those Who First Broke The Way To Knowledge, And Left Only To Their Successors The Task Of Smoothing It.

Life Affords No Higher Pleasure Than That Of Surmounting Difficulties, Passing From One Step Of Success To Another, Forming New Wishes And Seeing Them Gratified.

Bravery Has No Place Where It Can Avail Nothing.

Some Claim A Place In The List Of Patriots, By An Acrimonious And Unremitting Opposition To The Court. This Mark Is By No Means Infallible. Patriotism Is Not Necessarily Included In Rebellion. A Man May Hate His King, Yet Not Love His Country.

He That Wishes To See His Country Robbed Of Its Rights Cannot Be A Patriot.

Nothing Is More Common Than Mutual Dislike, Where Mutual Approbation Is Particularly Expected.

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Garry Shandling

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