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And For Yourself, May The Gods Grant You Your Heart's Desire, A Husband And A Home, And The Blessing Of A Harmonious Life. For Nothing Is Greater Or Finer Than This, When A Man And Woman Live Together With One Hear And Mind, Bringing Joy To Their Friends And Grief To Their Foes.

-Homer

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And For Yourself, May

Homer

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And For Yourself, May The Gods Grant You Your Heart's Desire, A Husband And A Home, And The Blessing Of A Harmonious Life. For Nothing Is Greater Or Finer Than This, When A Man And Woman Live Together With One Hear And Mind, Bringing Joy To Their Friends And Grief To Their Foes.

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Not At All Similar Are The Race Of The Immortal Gods And The Race Of Men Who Walk Upon The Earth.

It Is A Wise Child That Knows His Own Father. [lat., Nondum Enim Quisquam Suum Parentem Ipse Cognosvit.]

We Battle On In Words, As Always, Mere Words, And What's The Cure? We Cannot Find A Thing.

…but There They Lay, Sprawled Across The Field, Craved Far More By The Vultures Than By Wives.

Rage From The Iliad

And Would'st Thou Evil For His Good Repay?

He Lives Not Long Who Battles With The Immortals, Nor Do His Children Prattle About His Knees When He Has Come Back From Battle And The Dread Fray.

Base Wealth Preferring To Eternal Praise.

It Is Tedious To Tell Again Tales Already Plainly Told.

He Knew The Things That Were And The Things That Would Be And The Things That Had Been Before.

Heaven Hears And Pities Hapless Men Like Me, For Sacred Ev'n To Gods Is Misery.

Thus Have The Gods Spun The Thread For Wretched Mortals: That They Live In Grief While They Themselves Are Without Cares; For Two Jars Stand On The Floor Of Zeus Of The Gifts Which He Gives, One Of Evils And Another Of Blessings.

The Proof Of Battle Is Action, Proof Of Words, Debate. No Time For Speeches Now, It's Time To Fight.

The Chance Of War Is Equal, And The Slayer Oft Is Slain.

Young People Are Thoughtless As A Rule.

Dreams Are Sent By God.

Nothing Shall I, While Sane, Compare With A Friend.

There Is A Time For Many Words, And There Is Also A Time For Sleep.

Few Sons Are Like Their Fathers - Many Are Worse, Few Better.

Wine Lead To Folly, Making Even The Wise To Laugh Immoderately, To Dance, And To Utter What Had Better Have Been Kept Silent.

Jove Lifts The Golden Balances That Show The Fates Of Mortal Men, And Things Below.

Toil Is The Lot Of All, And Bitter Woe The Fate Of Many.

Earth Sounds My Wisdom, And High Heaven My Fame.

Just Are The Ways Of Heaven; From Heaven Proceed The Woes Of Man: Heaven Doom'd The Greeks To Bleed.

The Blade Itself Incites To Deeds Of Violence.

Youth Is Quick In Feeling But Weak In Judgement.

Behold, On Wrong Swift Vengeance Waits; And Art Subdues The Strong.

And Rest At Last Where Souls Unbodied Dwell, In Ever-flowing Meads Of Asphodel.

All Right, Let's Not Panic. I'll Make The Money By Selling One Of My Livers. I Can Get By With One.

Look At Me! I'm A Puffy Pink Cloud!

My Hour At Last Has Come; Yet Not Ingloriously Or Passively I Die, But First Will Do Some Valiant Deed, Of Which Mankind Shall Hear In After Time.

If You Don't Like Your Job, You Don't Strike! You Just Go In Every Day, And Do It Really Half Assed. That's The American Way.

But You Can't Stop At One, You Wanna Drink Another Woman!

Funniest Simpsons

Men Are So Quick To Blame The Gods: They Say That We Devise Their Misery. But They Themselves- In Their Depravity- Design Grief Greater Than The Griefs That Fate Assigns.

Pine Needle Sorbet? Pine Needle Sorbet?! My Kids Do Not Eat Sorbet. They Eat Sherbet, And They Pronounce It Sherbert, And They Wish It Was Ice Cream!

...like That Star Of The Waning Summer Who Beyond All Stars Rises Bathed In The Ocean Stream To Glitter In Brilliance.

All Men Owe Honor To The Poets - Honor And Awe; For They Are Dearest To The Muse Who Puts Upon Their Lips The Ways Of Life.

Ah, Beer, My One Weakness. My Achille's Heel, If You Will.

When I Was Seventeen I Drank Some Very Good Beer I Drank Some Very Good Beer I Purchased With A Fake Id My Name Was Brian Mcgee I Stayed Up Listening To Queen When I Was Seventeen

From His Tongue Flowed Speech Sweeter Than Honey.

Beauty! Terrible Beauty! A Deathless Goddess-- So She Strikes Our Eyes!

Rage From The Iliad

The Sun Rose On The Flawless Brimming Sea Into A Sky All Brazen-all One Brightening For Gods Immortal And For Mortal Men On Plowlands Kind With Grain.

See How God Ever Like With Like Doth Pair, And Still The Worthless Doth The Worthless Lead!

So, The Gods Don't Hand Out All Their Gifts At Once, Not Build And Brains And Flowing Speech To All. One Man May Fail To Impress Us With His Looks But A God Can Crown His Words With Beauty, Charm, And Men Look On With Delight When He Speaks Out. Never Faltering, Filled With Winning Self-control, He Shines Forth At Assembly Grounds And People Gaze At Him Like A God When He Walks Through The Streets. Another Man May Look Like A Deathless One On High But There's Not A Bit Of Grace To Crown His Words. Just Like You, My Fine, Handsome Friend.

It Is Not Right To Exult Over Slain Men.

One Rogue Leads Another.

I, For One, Know Of No Sweeter Sight For A Man's Eyes Than His Own Country.

I Am A Part Of All That I Have Met. Yet, Experience Is An Arch Wherethro Gleams That Untravl'd World Whose Margin Fades Forever And Forever When I Move.

Discourse, The Sweeter Banquet Of The Mind.

Marge, When I Join An Underground Cult I Expect A Little Support From My Family.

The Man Who Acts The Least, Upbraids The Most.

The Tongue Of Man Is A Twisty Thing.

The Son Of Saturn Gave The Nod With His Dark Brows. The Ambrosial Curls Upon The Sovereign One's Immortal Head Were Shaken, And With Them The Mighty Mount, Olympus Trembled.

By Hook Or By Crook This Peril Too Shall Be Something That We Remember

As Leaves On The Trees, Such Is The Life Of Man.

Down From His Brow She Ran His Curls Like Thick Hyacinth Clusters Full Of Blooms

Being Popular Is The Most Important Thing In The World!

Not Vain The Weakest, If Their Force Unite.

Go On With A Spirit That Fears Nothing.

A Companion's Words Of Persuasion Are Effective.

Wine Sets Even A Thoughtful Man To Singing, Or Sets Him Into Softly Laughing, Sets Him To Dancing. Sometimes It Tosses Out A Word That Was Better Unspoken.

The Long Historian Of My Country's Woes.

The Wine Urges Me On, The Bewitching Wine, Which Sets Even A Wise Man To Singing And To Laughing Gently And Rouses Him Up To Dance And Brings Forth Words Which Were Better Unspoken.

When A Woman Says Nothing's Wrong, That Means Everything's Wrong. And When A Woman Says Everything's Wrong, That Means Everything's Wrong! And When A Woman Says Something's Not Funny, You'd Better Not Laugh Your Ass Off!

In Every Sorrowing Soul I Pour'd Delight, And Poverty Stood Smiling In My Sight.

Now From His Breast Into The Eyes The Ache Of Longing Mounted, And He Wept At Last, His Dear Wife, Clear And Faithful, In His Arms, Longed For As The Sunwarmed Earth Is Longed For By A Swimmer Spent In Rough Water Where His Ship Went Down Under Poseidon's Blows, Gale Winds And Tons Of Sea. Few Men Can Keep Alive Through A Big Serf To Crawl, Clotted With Brine, On Kindly Beaches In Joy, In Joy, Knowing The Abyss Behind: And So She Too Rejoiced, Her Gaze Upon Her Husband, Her White Arms Round Him Pressed As Though Forever.

The Rest Were Vulgar Deaths Unknown To Fame.

I Wish That Strife Would Vanish Away From Among Gods And Mortals, And Gall, Which Makes A Man Grow Angry For All His Great Mind, That Gall Of Anger That Swarms Like Smoke Inside Of A Man's Heart And Becomes A Thing Sweeter To Him By Far Than The Dripping Of Honey.

So Peaceful Shalt Thou End Thy Blissful Days, And Steal Thyself From Life By Slow Decays.

If It Doesn't Have Siamese Twins In A Jar, It Is Not A Fair.

Anger, Which, Far Sweeter Than Trickling Drops Of Honey, Rises In The Bosom Of A Man Like Smoke.

The Wordy Tale, Once Told, Were Hard To Tell Again.

There Is No Fouler Fiend Than A Woman When Her Mind Is Bent To Evil.

It Is Not Good To Have A Rule Of Many.

I'll Teach You To Laugh At Something That's Funny!

Once You Go Vatican, You Never Go Back Again.

Beauty- It Was A Glorious Gift Of Nature.

A Decent Boldness Ever Meets With Friends.

Boldness And Courage

The Strong Must Protect The Sweet.

'yea And I Beheld Sisyphus In Strong Torment, Grasping A Monstrous Stone With Both His Hands. He Was Pressing Thereat With Hands And Feet, And Trying To Roll The Stone Upward Toward The Brow Of The Hill. But Oft As He Was About To Hurl It Over The Top, The Weight Would Drive Him Back, So Once Again To The Plain Rolled The Stone, The Shameless Thing. And He Once More Kept Heaving And Straining, And The Sweat The While Was Pouring Down His Limbs, And The Dust Rose Upwards From His Head.

My Wife's Not Some Doobie To Be Passed Around! I Took A Vow On Our Wedding Day To Bogart Her For Life.

A Man Dies Still If He Has Done Nothing, As One Who Has Done Much.

Even A Fool Learns Something Once It Hits Him.

Still, We Will Let All This Be A Thing Of The Past, Though It Hurts Us, And Beat Down By Constraint The Anger That Rises Inside Us. Now I Am Making An End Of My Anger. It Does Not Become Me, Unrelentingly To Rage On

It's About Time Trees Were Good For Something, Instead Of Just Standing There Like Jerks!

And What He Greatly Thought, He Nobly Dared.

The Other Day, I Was So Desperate For A Beer, I Snuck Into The Football Stadium And Ate The Dirt Under The Bleachers.

[but] Age, The Common Enemy Of Mankind, Has Laid His Hand Upon You; Would That It Had Fallen Upon Some Other, And That You Were Still Young.

For When Two Join In The Same Adventure, One Perceives Before The Other How They Ought To Act; While One Alone, However Prompt, Resolves More Tardily And With A Weaker Will.

Of Men Who Have A Sense Of Honor, More Come Through Alive Than Are Slain, But From Those Who Flee Comes Neither Glory Nor Any Help.

To Be Loved, You Have To Be Nice To People, Everyday. But To Be Hated, You Don't Have To Do Squat!

If You Are Very Valiant, It Is A God, I Think, Who Gave You This Gift.

Look Now How Mortals Are Blaming The Gods, For They Say That Evils Come From Us, But In Fact They Themselves Have Woes Beyond Their Share Because Of Their Own Follies.

Reproach Is Infinite, And Knows No End So Voluble A Weapon Is The Tongue; Wounded, We Wound; And Neither Side Can Fail For Every Man Has Equal Strength To Rail.

A Man's Life Breath Cannot Come Back Again-- No Raiders In Force, No Trading Brings It Back, Once It Slips Through A Man's Clenched Teeth.

Rage From The Iliad

Each Man Delights In The Work That Suits Him Best.

For Never, Never, Wicked Man Was Wise.

Now From The Smooth Deep Ocean-stream The Sun Began To Climb The Heavens, And With New Rays Smote The Surrounding Fields.

Better To Live Or Die, Once And For All, Than Die By Inches.

It Is Wrong To Sorrow Without Ceasing.

Dreams Surely Are Difficult, Confusing, And Not Everything In Them Is Brought To Pass For Mankind. For Fleeting Dreams Have Two Gates: One Is Fashioned Of Horn And One Of Ivory. Those Which Pass Through The One Of Sawn Ivory Are Deceptive, Bringing Tidings Which Come To Nought, But Those Which Issue From The One Of Polished Horn Bring True Results When A Mortal Sees Them.

All Things Are In The Hand Of Heaven, And Folly, Eldest Of Jove's Daughters, Shuts Men's Eyes To Their Destruction. She Walks Delicately, Not On The Solid Earth, But Hovers Over The Heads Of Men To Make Them Stumble Or To Ensnare Them.

Pffft, English. Who Needs That? I'm Never Going To England.

Everything Flows And Nothing Stays.

I'm A Spalding Gray In A Rick Dees World.

I'm A People Person...who Drinks.

I War Not With The Dead.

On These Sands And In The Clefts Of The Rocks, In The Depths Of The Sea, In The Creaking Of The Pines, You'll Spy Secret Footprints And Catch Far-off Voices From The Homecoming Celebration. This Land Still Longs For Odysseus.

Lay Ye Down The Golden Chain From Heaven, And Pull At Its Inferior Links Both Goddesses And Gods.

I Have No Interest At All In Food And Drink, But Only In Slaughter And Blood And The Agonized Groans Of Mangled Men

Now Son, You Don’t Want To Drink Beer. That’s For Daddies, And Kids With Fake Ids.

For Afterwards A Man Finds Pleasure In His Pains, When He Has Suffered Long And Wandered Long. So I Will Tell You What You Ask And Seek To Know.

Many Shining Actions Owe Their Success To Chance, Though The General Or Statesman Receive The Applause.

Bear Patiently, My Heart, For You Have Suffered Heavier Things.

The Simpsons Are Going To Delaware!

How Vain, Without The Merit, Is The Name.

What Mighty Woes To Thy Imperial Race From Woman Rose.

It Is The Bold Man Who Every Time Does Best, At Home Or Abroad.

To Heal Divisions, To Relieve The Oppress'd, In Virtue Rich; In Blessing Others, Bless'd.

The Gods Give To Mortals Not Everything At The Same Time.

Yet While My Hector Still Survives, I See My Father, Mother, Brethren, All In Thee.

I Was Working On A Flat Tax Proposal And Accidentally Proved There Was No God.

His Descent Was Like Nightfall.

Rage From The Iliad

How Prone To Doubt, How Cautious Are The Wise!

Being Eaten By A Crocodile Is Just Like Going To Sleep...in A Giant Blender.

Sleep, Delicious And Profound, The Very Counterfeit Of Death

If You Are One Of Earth’s Inhabitants, How Blest Your Father, And Your Gentle Mother, Blest All Your Kin. I Know What Happiness Must Send The Warm Tears To Their Eyes, Each Time They See Their Wondrous Child Go To The Dancing! But One Man’s Destiny Is More Than Blest—he Who Prevails, And Takes You As His Bride. Never Have I Laid Eyes On Equal Beauty In Man Or Woman. I Am Hushed Indeed.

You Ought Not To Practice Childish Ways, Since You Are No Longer That Age.

Shame Greatly Hurts Or Greatly Helps Mankind.

Who Love Too Much, Hate In The Like Extreme.

Sweet Sleep Fell Upon His Eyelids, Unwakeful, Most Pleasant, The Nearest Like Death.

Nothing Feebler Than A Man Does The Earth Raise Up, Of All The Things Which Breathe And Move On The Earth, For He Believes That He Will Never Suffer Evil In The Future, As Long As The Gods Give Him Success And He Flourishes In His Strength; But When The Blessed Gods Bring Sorrows Too To Pass, Even These He Bears, Against His Will, With Steadfast Spirit, For The Thoughts Of Earthly Men Are Like The Day Which The Father Of Gods And Men Brings Upon Them.

We All Scribble Poetry.

There Is Not Any Advantage To Be Won From Grim Lamentation.

I've Gone Back In Time To When Dinosaurs Weren't Just Confined To Zoos.

Forget The Brother And Resume The Man.

Do Not Beg Me By Knees Or By Parents You Dog! I Only Wish I Were Savagely Wrathful Enough To Hack Up Your Corpse And Eat It Raw

If Not Yet Lost To All The Sense Of Shame.

Oh, My Tattered Rags Are Caught On Your Coffee Table.

I Discovered A Meal Between Breakfast And Brunch.

Two Friends, Two Bodies With One Soul Inspired.

Pray, For All Men Need The Aid Of The Gods.

Accept These Grateful Tears...for Thee They Flow, For Thee... That Ever Felt Another's Woe.

Even When Someone Battles Hard, There Is An Equal Portion For One Who Lingers Behind, And In The Same Honor Are Held Both The Coward And The Brave Man; The Idle Man And He Who Has Done Much Meet Death Alike.

She Sent Him A Warm And Gentle Wind, And Lord Odysseus Was Happy As He Set His Sails To Catch The Breeze. He Sat Beside The Steering Oar And Used His Skill To Steer The Raft.

And Now I'm Using Sarcasm, To Confess The Whole Thing So Later I Could Say I Already Told You.

Men In Their Generations Are Like The Leaves Of The Trees. The Wind Blows And One Year's Leaves Are Scattered On The Ground; But The Trees Burst Into Bud And Put On Fresh Ones When The Spring Comes Round.

The Roaring Seas And Many A Dark Range Of Mountains Lie Between Us.

Oall The Creatures That Creep And Breathe On Earth, There Is None More Wretched Than Man.

Wine Can Of Their Wits The Wise Beguile, Make The Sage Frolic, And The Serious Smile

Thou Shalt Not Take Moochers Into Thy Hut?

Whatever Day Makes Man A Slave, Takes Half His Worth Away.

Come, Friend, You Too Must Die. Why Moan About It So? Even Patroclus Died, A Far, Far Better Man Than You. And Look, You See How Handsome And Powerful I Am? The Son Of A Great Man, The Mother Who Gave Me Life-- A Deathless Goddess. But Even For Me, I Tell You, Death And The Strong Force Of Fate Are Waiting. There Will Come A Dawn Or Sunset Or High Noon When A Man Will Take My Life In Battle Too-- Flinging A Spear Perhaps Or Whipping A Deadly Arrow Off His Bow.

Zeus Most Glorious And Most Great, Thundercloud, Throned In The Heavens! Let Not The Sun Go Down And The Darkness Come, Until I Cast Down Headlong The Citadel Of Priam In Flames, And Burn His Gates With Blazing Fire, And Tear To Rags The Shirt Upon Hectors Breast! May Many Of His Men Fall About Him Prone In The Dust And Bite The Earth!

Modesty Is Of No Use To A Beggar.

Thou Wilt Lament Hereafter, When The Evil Shall Be Done And Shall Admit No Cure.

Come Then, Put Away Your Sword In Its Sheath, And Let Us Two Go Up Into My Bed So That, Lying Together In The Bed Of Love, We May Then Have Faith And Trust In Each Other.

Whenever A Man Is Tired, Wine Is A Great Restorer Of Strength.

The Internet Wasn't Created For Mockery, It Was Supposed To Help Researchers At Different Universities Share Data Sets. It Was!

Unextinguished Laughter Shakes The Skies.

We Live In A Society Of Laws. Why Do You Think I Took You To All Those Police Academy Movies? For Fun? Well, I Didn't Hear Anybody Laughing, Did You?

We Got A Little Rule Back Home: If It's Brown, Drink It Down. If It's Black, Send It Back.

Even The Bravest Cannot Fight Beyond His Power

It Is Equally Wrong To Speed A Guest Who Does Not Want To Go, And To Keep One Back Who Is Eager. You Ought To Make Welcome The Present Guest, And Send Forth The One Who Wishes To Go.

I'm Like That Guy Who Single-handedly Built The Rocket And Flew To The Moon. What Was His Name? Apollo Creed?

Insignificant Mortals, Who Are As Leaves Are, And Now Flourish And Grow Warm With Life, And Feed On What The Ground Gives, But Then Again Fade Away And Are Dead.

Forgetful Youth! But Know, The Power Above With Ease Can Save Each Object Of His Love; Wide As His Will Extends His Boundless Grace.

I Live An Idle Burden To The Ground.

Like The Generations Of Leaves, The Lives Of Mortal Men. Now The Wind Scatters The Old Leaves Across The Earth, Now The Living Timber Bursts With The New Buds And Spring Comes Round Again. And So With Men: As One Generation Comes To Life, Another Dies Away.

What Is This Word That Broke Through The Fence Of Your Teeth, Atreides?

The Hearts Of Great Men Can Be Changed.

Wine Gives Strength To Weary Men.

We're Goin Bowling. If We Don't Come Back, Avenge Our Deaths.

What So Tedious As A Twice-told Tale?

It's Man's To Fight, But Heaven's To Give Success.

The Stars Never Lie, But The Astrologers Lie About The Stars.

...if Fifty Bands Of Men Surrounded Us/ And Every Sword Sang For Your Blood,/ You Could Make Off Still With Their Cows And Sheep.

The Journey Is Its Own Reward.

By Turns The Nine Delight To Sing

The Skin Of The Coward Changes Color All The Time, He Can't Get A Grip On Himself, He Can't Sit Still, He Squats And Rocks, Shifting His Weight From Foot To Foot, His Heart Racing, Pounding Inside The Fellow's Ribs, His Teeth Chattering. He Dreads Some Grisly Death. But The Skin Of A Brave Soldier Never Blanches. He's All Control. Tense But No Great Fear.

Is He Not Sacred, Even To The Gods, The Wandering Man Who Comes In Weariness?

Rage From The Iliad

After The Event, Even A Fool Is Wise.

Reproach Is Infinite, And Knows No End.

This Year I Invested In Pumpkins. They've Been Going Up The Whole Month Of October And I Got A Feeling They're Going To Peak Right Around January. Then Bang! That's When I'll Cash In.

I've Finally Tapped Into That Spirit Of Self-destruction That Makes Rock-n-roll The King Of Music!

Aries In His Many Fits Knows No Favorites.

Boy, Everyone Is Stupid Except Me.

Ill Fares The State Where Many Masters Rule; Let One Be Lord, One King Supreme.

The Single Best Augury Is To Fight For One's Country.

Have Patience, Heart.

Having Patience

Friend, Many And Many A Dream Is Mere Confusion A Cobweb Of No Consequence At All. Two Gates For Ghostly Dreams There Are: One Gateway Of Honest Horn, And One Of Ivory. Issuing By The Ivory Gate Are Dreams Of Glimmering Illusion, Fantasies, But Those That Come Through Solid Polished Horn May Be Borne Out, If Mortals Only Know Them.

A Guest Never Forgets The Host Who Has Treated Him Kindly.

The Persuasion Of A Friend Is A Strong Thing.

Do Not Mourn The Dead With The Belly.

No One Can Hurry Me Down To Hades Before My Time, But If A Man's Hour Is Come, Be He Brave Or Be He Coward, There Is No Escape For Him When He Has Once Been Born.

Close To The Gates A Spacious Garden Lies, From The Storms Defended And Inclement Skies; Four Acres Was The Allotted Space Of Ground, Fenc'd With A Green Enclosure All Around. Tall Thriving Trees Confessed The Fruitful Mold: The Reddening Apple Ripens Here To Gold, Here The Blue Fig With Luscious Juice Overflows, With Deeper Red The Full Pomegranate Glows, The Branch Here Bends Beneath The Weighty Pear, And Verdant Olives Flourish Round The Year.

No Tv And No Beer Makes Homer Something Something.

Nor Can One Word Be Chang'd But For A Worse.

Like Leaves On Trees The Race Of Man Is Found,- Now Green In Youth, Now Withering On The Ground; Another Race The Following Spring Supplies: They Fall Successive, And Successive Rise.

Ajax The Great Himself A Host.

And Overpowered By Memory Both Men Gave Way To Grief. Priam Wept Freely For Man - Killing Hector, Throbbing, Crouching Before Achilles' Feet As Achilles Wept Himself, Now For His Father, Now For Patroclus Once Again And Their Sobbing Rose And Fell Throughout The House.

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